53
I called her so many times but she didn't pick up. Malakas ang bawat tambol ng puso ko habang tinatahak ang pasilyo palabas ng building. Danica was following me, hindi ko pinansin ang kahit ano mang sinasabi niya.
"Ayden, where are you going?"
She pulled my arms but she didn't manage to stop me. I need to go to Anastasia. Paniguradong naghintay siya kagabi. She might be mad at me right now.
"Are you going to Asia?" She laughed. "Akala mo ba ay may babalikan ka pa ro'n? Ayden, she hates you!"
Mariin ko siyang tinignan. I cursed silently and continued walking fast. Wala na akong pakialam kung paano ako napunta sa unit niya. I need to go to Asia.
"Pagtapos mo akong halikan kagabi, sa tingin mo'y patatawarin ka niya? You've got to be kidding me!"
Nagpatuloy siya sa paghabol. Marahas kong hinawakan ang braso niya para bantaan. I didn't kiss her!
"Hindi kita hinalikan.." mariin kong sabi. "Why on earth would you think that I'll kiss someone like you?"
Nalaglag ang panga niya kasabay nang pagbitiw ko sa kaniya. I was shaking when I went inside the cab. I continued calling her but she wasn't answering. Masyado ba siyang naghintay? Was she okay there?
I gathered all of my strength when I knew I needed to talk to her personally. Ngayon ay hindi na ako tatakas para makita siya. Sa gate pa lang ay agad na akong hinarang ng guards.
"Sir, I need to talk to Anastasia.."
Kahit anong pilit ko ay hindi ako pinayagan. I saw her mother eyeing me from their window. I shouted her name when her mom walked away. I just need to talk to her daughter!
I was relieved when she went out to face me. Her face was blank and her eyes were swollen. Mabigat ang mga mata niya sa bawat tingin sa akin. She was mad and hurting. Para akong binuhusan nang malamig nang magsimula siyang umiyak.
Why the hell is she thinking that I kissed Danica last night?! I didn't! I was waiting for her response! I never did anything with that girl!
"No.. Wala akong ginawa, Asia.. Hindi ko iyon magagawa.." umiling ako. "I didn't do it. I didn't.."
Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang nagmamakaawang lumabas siya para kausapin ako. She was looking at me painfully. Malakas ang bawat kabog ng dibdib ko sa pagpapaliwanag. Hind ko iyon ginawa!
"Sabihin mo kung gaano siya ka-importante sa 'yo, na kinaya mong bitiwan lahat ng meron tayo.." her lips shivered. "S-sabihin mo sa akin lahat.. Hanggang sa makuntento kang makita na n-nadudurog ako dahil sa ginawa mo.."
My heart was crushed when she walked away. I told her how much I love her but she did not believe me. Why is she saying that I kissed Danica?!
Nang pumasok siya sa loob ng kanilang bahay ay lumabas ang kaniyang ina. I begged again. I just need Anastasia to talk to me properly. Hindi iyong ganito, dahil pati ako ay wala nang maintidihan.
"Ma'am, please.." nanginig ang boses ko. "I love your daughter. I will n-never do that! Please, let me talk to her.."
Malamig niya akong tinignan. She looked disgusted at me, she was staring like I am a pest that is needed to be killed.
"You cheated on my daughter."
I shook my head. "No, ma'am! I could never do that! Please, I just want to explain.."
Mahina siyang tumawa saka tumingin muli sa akin. "Namana mo siguro iyan sa ina mo? Parehong hindi makuntento at manloloko!"
Halos yakapin ko na ang bakal dahil sa sobrang kagustuhan makapasok. I don't mind her hurtful words. I love her daughter. I need to talk to her. We need to fix this.
I was forced to leave the village when they reported me. Wala sa sarili akong bumalik sa unit ng babaeng iyon para malaman ang katotohanan. Nandidilim ang paningin ko nang buksan niya ang pinto nang may malawak na ngiti. I harshly pulled her inside and slammed her on the wall.
"What happened that night?!" I roared.
Kahit ang sarili kong boses ay hindi ko na makilala dahil sa sobrang galit. She was startled. Napuno ng takot ang mga mata niya nang lalo kong higpitan ang kapit ko.
"A-ayden, nasasaktan ako!"
I gritted my teeth. "I am asking you! What happened that night?!"
"Please, b-bitiwan mo ako!"
I was devastated when I knew it. I never thought we would reach this point. Akala ko ay ayaw niya lamang sa akin dahil kay Atlas, but I was wrong. She hates every bits of me. Rustesia Salazar is friends with the Jocsons. She knows Danica. She planned everything.
"Napag-utusan lang ako! It was Rustesia!"
I know I need to tell Anastasia the truth. But whenever I remember how she talks about her mother, how much she loves her and how much she's craving for her love, I can't help but to hesitate. Alam kong lahat ay ginawa niya para mapalapit sa ina niya, at masisira lahat ng iyon kung malalaman niya ang totoo.
She deserve to know the truth but she doesn't deserve to be hurt.
I was kneeling down infront of her. I was weak and shivering. I was in pain and crying. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipaliliwanag nang hindi sinasabi ang totoo. I didn't have a family for a long time. Alam ko ang pakiramdam nang malayo sa pamilya. I don't want her to experience that. She loves her mother so much.
"Dapat lang sa 'yo 'yan!"
Bumagsak ako sa sahig at sinalo lahat ng galit ni Daniel. I didn't fight back. I accepted their wrath with all of my strength. They were beating me to pulp. Kung tutuusin ay kaya kong lumaban, ngunit hindi ko ginawa.
Joaquin pulled my collar and punched me hard in the face. Dumugo ang labi ko kasabay ng pagtulak at tadyak niya sa sikmura ko.
The physical pain cannot be compared to the pain she's giving me right now. I don't think I can take it.
She stopped and turned to me again. "Kung kinaya mong itapon ang lahat, puwes, kaya ko rin. I will forget you. Everything about you."
I never thought words can be so painful. Parang nablanko ang lahat sa akin simula nang sabihin niya iyon at maglakad palayo. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakauwi. I was devastated. I couldn't function. I didn't know what to do.
"You'll surely enjoy Australia, kuya."
I shook my head and continued fixing my clothes. Bumaling akong muli sa cellphone ko saka tinignan kung mayroon bang mensahe. She wants me to leave. She's really forgetting everything about me.
"Ayden, are you done with your luggages?"
Hindi ko pinansin ang tanong ni mama. I texted her, asking if she would let me see her before I go. I never received any reply. Sabihin niya lang sa akin na ayaw niya akong umalis ay susundin ko ang gusto niya. I always follow whatever she wants.
I wasn't on my senses when we reached the airport. I was still waiting for any message. Tinapik ko ang braso ni Atlas saka lumabas ng sasakyan. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave.
"Atlas, can you.." I sighed. "Check on her for me?"
Umangat ang kilay niya. He rolled his eyes at me and wore his headphones. Siguro nga ay ayos na ring huwag niyang bantayan. He might fall in love with Anastasia. I would kill him if that happens.
Maybe, leaving was the best decision. I hurt her so much and she doesn't want me anymore. And I know I need to prove myself to her mother. I want the recognition to have her. I want the recognition to be deserving for her. At hindi ko iyon magagawa kung hindi ako mag-aaral. I need to prove everyone that I can be better. I can be deserving for her love.
I spent almost all of my time in Australia studying. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kinayang mahiwalay sa kaniya nang ganoon katagal. I excelled in the university but I cannot still see myself deserving for her.
Whenever I see our tattoo, I can't help but to remembered the night she said yes to me. It was the best moment of my life.
The thought of her being engaged again to Atlas made me insane. I immediately went home after graduation. Alam kong kahibangan na naman ang gagawin ko ngunit wala na akong pakialam. She can't marry Atlas because it will be the death of me.
"I want a huge walk in closet and a king size bed. Gusto ko ay malawak ang garden at mayroong pool. It should be a skypod. Ayoko ng ordinaryo."
I smirked and raised my brow. We will be living in my unit maybe for a couple of months. Ang sabi niya ay kahit disente ang gusto niyang bahay, tapos ngayon ay gusto na niya ang magarbo.
"Akala ko ba ay basta disente? Why are you demanding so much now?" I chuckled.
She rolled her eyes. "E 'di bumili ka na lang ng kubo."
The night went peacefully. We are staying in the same room and sleeping in the same bed but it feels like we're miles apart. She was so distant. I can't help but to feel hurt but I do not have a choice. I need to keep up with her.
I frowned when I saw all of my clothes in two closet. Parang pilit iyong pinagkasya. Nang silipin ko ang sumunod na apat ay puro damit na niya ang nakalagay. It was neatly placed and folded. Mahina akong natawa saka hinilot ang sentido ko. My wife surely needs a bigger one.
She chose Switzerland for our honeymoon. Sinama niya ang kaibigan niyang si Joanna, pati ang mama niya na hindi namin alam na sasama rin. I greeted her formally but she didn't mind me. Hinihila lamang niya ang braso ng asawa ko.
"Anastasia, sit with me, okay?" She whispered.
Asia rolled her eyes. "I'm going to sit beside Ayden."
She hissed. "Ako ang nanay mo. Tabihan mo ako!"
"I am going to sit beside my husband."
My heart pounded with her words. I wanted to hold her hand so bad while on the plane, hanggang sa nakatulog na lamang siya. I kissed her hair and closed my eyes.
We walked around the village before dinner. She was smiling so sweetly. Akala ko noon ay hanggang panaginip na lamang mangyayari ang lahat ng ito. But now, it's happening. She's here with me.
"What?" She frowned.
"Smile, Anastasia." I ordered.
She rolled her eyes. "I don't want a picture!"
Wala rin siyang nagawa kung hindi ngumiti. I forced myself not to smile when I saw how beautiful she is with her genuine smile. Matagal ko rin iyong hindi nakita.
And as I always knew, Anastasia Elissa is still as beautiful as the day that I met her.
I felt uncomfortable with her mother. She treats me like I am not existing but I didn't mind it. I understand that she doesn't like me for her daughter.
I started working again after that week. My employees formally greeted me in the hallway. I greeted them back and went straight to my office.
"Good morning, sir."
I nodded and opened the door. Napatigil ako nang may maalala. Agad kong kinuha ang litrato ni Anastasia sa drawer ko saka lumabas muli. I showed it to my secretary.
"This is my wife.." I proudly said. "I'm married."
Umawang ang labi niya saka agad na tumango at kinuha ang picture.
"Kung sakaling pumunta siya rito, papasukin mo agad."
It was a tiring day. Ang tanging dahilan lang kaya gusto ko nang tapusin ang mga ginagawa ko ay dahil kay Anastasia. She's at home waiting for me.
"Welcome home.."
Her sweet smile made me lose my senses. My lips parted when I saw her wearing an apron. I wiped her cheeks and touched her hair.
I wasn't expecting that she'll do this. I thought she's still mad at me.
"Tumulong akong magluto ng dinner." She giggled.
I looked straight into her eyes and wrapped my arms around her waist. I kissed her forehead. Napakasaya ko. I hope we stay like this forever.
The dish wasn't the best, to be honest. She was so excited for me to try it. Hindi ko siya binigo at kinain ang lahat ng inihain niya.
"Was it good?" She smiled.
I nodded and held her waist. She chuckled and pulled away from me.
"Rate it."
Hinuli ko ang braso niya saka hinalikan ang balikat. "12.5 out of 10."
Humalakhak siya saka yumakap sa akin. Natatawa rin ako ngunit sa isip lamang. She's expecting me to like it, hindi ko naman kayang biguin siya at sabihing hindi iyon masarap.
Days weren't always like that. Marami kaming mga bagay na hindi napagkakasunduan. Gaya na lamang ng sekretarya niya. I don't even like the thought of her working, but she wanted to.
"Yes, I am jealous husband!" I argued. "Asawa mo ako!"
"Sa papel!" She shouted. "Para sa papel lang naman ang pagsasamang ito, hindi ba? Don't act like it's more than that 'cause it's not! Palabas lang ang kasal na ito, Ayden! Para sa papel lang!"
I stopped speaking when she said that. Noong una ay akala ko maayos kami. Ngunit sa unti-unting paglipas ng panahon ay napapansin kong unti-unti rin kaming nasisira. Many of our opinions collide. I am a jealous man and she has people all around her. Minsan nga ay kahit walang kuwentang bagay ay pinag-aawayan namin. She can really be a pain in the ass sometimes. My pain in the ass.
"I don't want to live here anymore!" She shouted. "I don't want to live with you!"
She started throwing tantrums when I ate the sandwich she made. I thought it was for me. Nakalapag iyon sa bed side table kaya naman akala ko ay para sa akin.
"Anastasia, I'm sorry.." malambing kong sabi. "I thought it was for me.."
Hinampas niya ang braso ko. "You've been eating my sandwich since elementary! Lagi ka na lang!"
I shook my head and hugged her. Nagpupumiglas siya at halos masapak na ako ngunit hindi ako bumitiw.
Kahit na ganoon, hindi ko pa rin hinayaang masira ang lahat. I always find a way to make it up to her. I always apologize even though I know I wasn't wrong. Masyado ko siyang mahal para ipagpalit sa pride ko.
"Hey.."
"Hey, sir.." she giggled.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. Why is she calling me that?
"I told you, Anastasia. You can just work here. Mas madali ang trabaho rito."
"Talaga? Ang sabi sa akin ni daddy ay marami kang ginagawa."
I smiled when I felt my heart beating crazily because of her voice. I continued checking the documents.
"He's right. Pero hindi naman kita bibigyan ng maraming trabaho. I promise I won't tire you."
"Anong trabaho ko, kung ganoon?"
Nanliit ang mga mata ko saka tinignan ang paligid ng opisina. A small smile appeared on my lips when I imagined her being here with me.
"I can put another table here in my office for you. Your work is to just entertain me. That's all.."
"Anong klaseng entertainment ba ang kailangan mo?"
She can stay all day here with me. Watch a movie, eat, or sleep while I work. Or maybe she can sit on my lap whenever I am getting pissed to calm me down.
"Depende sa mood.." I laughed.
"Why are you laughing?" Natatawa rin niyang sabi.
Anastasia was shocked when she saw me in their company. She didn't know her dad invited me. He told me he needed help. Hindi naman ako nagdalawang isip bilang son in law niya.
I tapped the table and looked at Anastasia again. She's staring at me. Umusbong ang maliit na ngiti sa labi ko nang umiwas siya agad. Why is my wife staring at me like that?
I know it's unethical to text in a meeting but I can't help it! My wife is such a tease! I wasn't distracting her. Siya itong umaagaw ng atensiyon ko!
"You seem distracted, Asia.." Mr. Salazar pointed.
She surprisingly visited me in my office. I wasn't expecting her but I was happy she went there. Hindi pa ako tapos sa trabaho ngunit puwede ko namang ipagpaliban. It's not that she's here everyday.
"Walang nagbago.." she shook her head. "Maganda pa rin ako."
I silently laughed when I saw her looking at our childhood photo on my table. Isinara ko ang laptop saka hinapit ang maliit niyang baywang.
She's right. I don't care no matter how much I say it but, Anastasia Elissa is still as beautiful as the day that I met her.
I know her so much that I notice even her slightest move. She seem distracted when she got home. Maliit ang mga galaw niya at parang kinakabahan. She was even hiding in the closet to talk to someone. I know it's something.
"You know you can always tell me anything, right?" I whispered.
"Yeah.." she forced a smile. "I know.. I'm sorry."
"What is it, huh?" I urged. "What is it that's bothering my wife?"
I held her waist and looked at her patiently. Alam kong natatakot siya dahil kitang-kita iyon sa mga mata niya. At kung ano man iyon ay handa akong tulungan at protektahan siya.
"Calm down, Ayden.. Mathias and his team are doing their job.."
Hindi ko napigilan ang galit ko sa nangyari. I was exploding as Anastasia was trying to calm me down. I can't calm down after knowing that! She could've been harmed!
"Never leave our house starting tonight. Huwag ka nang pumasok bukas. You're safer here. Bukas ay nandito rin ako. I'll call dad to send his men here."
Umiling siya saka pilit na hinawakan ang braso ko. Hindi ko iyon mapapalampas. Kung sino man ang gumawa ay magbabayad. If he's trying to mess up with my wife, then he's messing up with me.
"I will track that person, Anastasia." Marin kong sabi.
Lumamlam ang mga mata niya. "Mathias is doing it–"
"I will do it myself." I clenched my jaw. "It will not get away after doing this to you."
That useless Mathias should be taught a lesson. Hindi lang dahil nagseselos ako sa kaniya, kung hindi dahil hindi naman talaga niya ginagawa ang trabaho niya. Piece of useless meat!
I didn't leave the house for a couple of days. Nanatili ako kasama ni Anastasia habang iniimbestigahan ang nangyari. Kung makikita ko siya ay madalas tulala. She seems scared.
"Can't sleep?"
I burried my face on her neck and yawned. Ilang beses na akong nagising at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa siya tulog.
"I'm not yet sleepy."
"Uh huh.." I kissed her hair. "You want to talk about it?"
She shook her and forced a smile. "Don't worry about me. Just go back to sleep."
I frowned when I sensed sadness in her voice. Is this about the threat?
Bumangon ako saka pinagmasdan siya. Her eyes looked different. I know she's not okay.
"You think I'll let you just like this?"
She shrugged and stared at me. "It isn't important. Hindi lang talaga ako makatulog."
"And why is that?"
I combed her hair using my fingers and yawned. She sighed and held my hand and placed it on her cheeks. I caressed her using my thumb.
"Faye is in love with Joaquin.."
Mabigat ang bawat hininga niya. Kumunot ang noo ko sa dahilan. That's it?
"That's what's keeping you up?"
Bumangon siya saka umupo rin para harapin ako. I lifted her chin and wiped her cheeks. Hinawi ko ang buhok niya saka inipit iyon sa likod ng kaniyang tainga.
"No.." she bit her lip. "But Joaquin is in love with someone else.."
Ah. So Joaquin and Faye's situation is keeping her up.
"Then Faye has to accept that.. Kung talagang mahal niya si Joaquin, magpaparaya siya."
Bumalik ako sa pagkakahiga saka hinimas ang braso niya. I played with the tips of her hair a little and looked at her. She shrugged and pouted.
"But the girl Joaquin is in love with doesn't love him the same.."
My brow raised. "So, the girl is in love with someone else?"
"Y-yes.." she looked away.
I sighed. That's painful. Faye is in love with Joaquin but he isn't in love with her because he's in love with someone who is in love with someone else. Great.
"She can always fall out of love and fall for Joaquin."
Mahina siyang tumawa saka umiling. "I don't think she will, Ayden."
I frowned. She sounded so sure. "How do you know?"
"Because she's married.."
Agad kong tinugon ang halik niya. I kissed her like it was the last time. I know we had a lot of shortcomings lately, but I am willing to adjust for her. I love her and I can't lose her. Kahit ano pang away ay hindi ko siya bibitiwan.
"I love you, Anastasia.."