Trigger Warnings: swearing, like, a whole lot of swearing (if you can't handle a lot of cursing this really isn't the chapter for you), the long awaited destruction of Virgil's innocence (he does it to himself tho)
The next morning everyone was pretty sluggish, definitely not moving fast by any means, since both Remus and Roman were recovering from tree hugging the day prior and everyone was slightly sore from skiing. So that day was recovery day were they took things slow and simplify relaxed.
Almost everyone was in the living room watching Hamilton since it was on Disney+, Virgil in the kitchen refilling his mug of hot chocolate. While in there Virgil made an executive decision of asking for some knowledge that had been forbidden from him for eighteen years of his life.
So when he came back into the living room he set the mug on the side table then said; "I have come to a very important decision."
Everyone looked over at him, confusion and interest in their eyes since this wasn't something that normally happened.
"The council of me, myself, and I have decided that, since Remy isn't here to stop it, I want y'all to teach me swears," he continued with a smiled, nearly everyone's face paling.
"Why do you want to know swears?" Janus asked cautiously.
"For one everyone uses them nowadays and I don't want to seem like an idiot or culturally inept, and I also want to know what Remus, Roman, and Logan mean when they're cursing at each other when they think I'm not listening," Virgil explained, Logan, Roman, and Remus all looking away in guilt and the shock that they've been caught (they had been so careful).
"Well, what do you want to know? We need a starting point if we are to teach you," said Roman, still looking apprehensive towards this idea.
"I suppose we can start at the base with crap, damn, ass, piss, and bastard. Then we can move on to the advanced ones like fuck, shit, bitch, and dick, though I already know what dick means," Virgil said, taking his spot in Logan's lap while his boyfriends shakily started combing his platinum dyed hair.
"How do you know what dick means?!" Janus demanded only for Virgil to lazily point at Remus as he picked up his hot chocolate from the table.
Remus' eyes widened and he nervously chuckled, looking around at everyone's expressions, Janus' 'what the hell?!' face, Patton's 'I'm not made I'm just disappointed' face, Roman's and Logan's looks of understanding , then Virgil who just seemed like nothing was wrong to him, which, to be fair, wasn't. How was Virgil to know how weird this conversation was? No one has ever purposely swore in front of him since their lives were threatened by Remy, so he had no idea what was so wrong about it.
"It was when we first met, so don't go blaming him. Remy hadn't traumatized him yet," added Virgil, noticing the heated looks Remus was getting.
"Alright. Well if we are going to teach you this you can't say it around Remy or else we will die," said Roman.
"I'm not a dumbass, I know Remy threaten y'all when we first became friends. He does it to everyone, even Emile," giggled Virgil.
"Well seems like you already have one down," commented Patton before adding, "I'm going to stay out of this conversation since it not my type of cookie. But y'all have fun explaining it."
"Alright, we'll let's start with the first few you mentioned," Janus sighed in resignation.
"Crap. It's denotation is something of poor quality, but modern interpretations have given it other various definitions and connotations," Logan explained.
"Like poopie!" grinned Remus, a collective sigh going around the room.
"Damn. Formally it was used for Christians to be condemned by God, but nowadays it just means condemned, or could be used to express anger, frustration, or surprise," said Janus.
"As for ass, it used to be another word for a mule or donkey, but now it just means butt. It can be used with other words, like jackass, dumbass, asshole, so on," Roman said, ever so delicately causing Remus to wheeze.
"Poor donkeys and mules," muttered Virgil, his face scrunching up into one of part pout, part disapproval.
"Actually Roman ass means foolish or stupid person, not 'butt' as you said," corrected Logan.
Roman rolled his eyes over dramatically and scoffed, but said nothing more.
"Piss means pee!" Remus shouted, drawing everyone's attention.
"Thank you, Remus," Virgil smiled while taking a sip from his warm drink, Remus grinning like a madman in return.
"Bastard. An unpleasant or despicable person. It was used a long time ago to describe illegitimate children of higher ranking people," said Logan, still combing his fingers through Virgil's hair.
"Shit means poopie! I know this for a fact!" Remus said.
"Well actually Remus, while it does mean that it also has other connotations—" Logan started before being interrupted by Remus.
"Shut the hell your mouth, nerdy wolverine! I'm keeping this one!"
Logan huffed, but Virgil whispered something to him and he seemed to lighten up at it. No one knew what Virgil said, but it did the trick so they weren't about to question it.
"Bitch. Usually it's used as an insult to someone, but the actual definition is a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter," said Janus.
"You already know what a dick is, so we're moving right along to fuck," Roman continued.
"This is also what the middle finger means," Janus added.
"The denotation is to have sex with someone, or to ruin or damage something. It can be used in many context such as fucker, fuck you, fuck me, fuck off, or motherfucker. All of these are used as insults and most of the time people don't actually mean to have sex with them," Logan explain.
"Says you," snickered Remus while wiggling an eyebrow, Roman laughing next to him.
"Most people," Logan emphasized.
"I hope this has throughly educated you, Virgil," Janus sighed.
"Sure did! Now I have unlimited power!" grinned Virgil, and although it might sound threatening Virgil was currently wearing fuzzy, pastel pajamas so it was more like being threatened by a cupcake.
"Remember: no swearing in front of Remy and if you happen to accidentally slip up and say one blame it on someone else," said Roman.
"Sure. I'll blame it on my ex," shrugged Virgil, Remus, Janus becoming rigged at that while Logan' shoulders tensed.
"Sounds good," said Roman, not reading the room well enough.
"This has been a day. And it's not even twelve," Patton sighed, leaning on Janus' shoulder.
This was fun to write. And now y'all can swear in the comment section, Virgil has been thoroughly exposed. Next chapter is also going to be fun, and it has to do with singing, so imma try my hand in a songfic chapter
Virgil's pajamas: