I used to love you so much , I would have given anything to be the one who saves you , to be the one whose warmth you seek for when it's all said and done. But I couldn't be that person , not when you were the one to teach me heartbreak , not when you were the one who taught me loneliness. It hurts , it hurts so much that my heart doesn't flutter for you anymore , it hurts so much that those brown eyes don't leave me a stuttering and flustered mess anymore. I can feel it , the way my heart drifts from you , the way my heart beats like it's finally ready to move on.
I am so so afraid because I know that if it's not your honey eyes than it's going to be her green one's and God knows I can't let it go like that , lord knows I can't let my heart break like that. I've been happy again , the thought of you doesn't hurt anymore and when I close my eyes I no longer see you with soft brown eyes and a wedding dress. I think I might like her and it terrifies me so much that all I want to do is just run to you , to the safest home my heart has known for the past 3 years.
I know she's good for me , I know those gorgeous green eyes would never hurt me , would never harm the home I've created within her comfort. But you hurt me and even though she is nothing like you ,the little demon on my shoulder is telling me that she's just another straight girl whose going to leave me broken , that she's going to leave me just like you did. I don't even know what I'm writing and if my thoughts are valid but I'm so so scared and today all I need is just you , just your brown eyes. All I need is you to make it better.
-Liyah Smith