This and the next chapters are Ayden's point of view. Ten chapters of Anastasia is equals to one chapter for Ayden. Happy reading!
50
"There's a party at Niel's house. You comin', mate?"
Isinara ko ang laptop at tinaggal ang earphones sa tainga ko. I stood up and gathered all of my things. I am not interested in any party. I won't come.
"Nah.. I have a lot of works to do tonight."
Dustin tapped my shoulders and tried to take my bag away. Pabiro ko siyang siniko saka isinukbit ang bag ko sa balikat ko.
"Chill out, Ayden! Finals is still a month away!"
I shook my head and started walking away. "I'm not interested, Annicka."
Dustin followed me and blocked my way. I sighed and pushed him away. Mahina akong tumawa saka nagpatuloy maglakad palayo.
"You wouldn't want to miss out a party with a lot of hot girls.." he convinced. "I swear, Ayden. Let's have some fun tonight!"
"Your girlfriend is in the Philippines! She won't know!"
If Anastasia is one of those hot girls, then I will come for sure. Ngunit imposibleng makita ko siya rito. She won't come here in Australia because she knows I am here. She hates me to bits.
"I really can't, buddy. Enjoy the party, I'm gonna go home now."
I lied when I said I have a lot of things to do. Ang gagawin ko lang naman ngayon ay isipin kung anong kumusta siya at anong ginawa niya sa mga oras na ito. O kung galit pa ba siya sa akin at mayroon ng iba. Is her eyes still expressive just like before? Is her hair still long just like it use to be?
Ngunit ang isang pinakamalaking tanong sa isip ko ay iisa lamang. Will she ever forgive me? Kahit na sabihin kong hindi ko ginusto ang nangyari at wala akong kinalaman, maniniwala kaya siya sa akin? Kung bumalik ako ngayon mismo at magmakaawa sa kaniyang bumalik sa akin, will she give me a chance?
If she knew that I am still so in love with her after all these years, will she take me back? Pagbibigyan niya kaya ako kahit na hindi ko siya mabigyan ng rason kung bakit nangyari ang gabing iyon?
Why am I even asking? Of course, she won't. She deserve answers. At ang mga sagot na iyon ay hindi ko kayang ibigay sa kaniya. Because I know it will tear her to pieces if she knew who was behind all these.
I know Anastasia more than anyone else. Alam ko kung gaano siya nasasabik sa kaniyang mga magulang gaya ko. She did everything she could to feel the love of her parents. Kahit hindi niya sabihin sa akin ay alam kong nasasaktan siya sa sitwasyong wala siyang kontrol.
"Kuya."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Why'd you call? I don't want to talk to you."
Atlas is originally Anastasia's fiancé. Hindi ko alam kung tumatawag ito sa akin para mang-asar ngunit wala na akong pakialam do'n. Their engagement is called off but I am still pissed at him.
"Bibitiwan na ni kuya ang VPHI. Are you coming home?"
"Why are you asking? Hindi ako uuwi para sa kompaniya."
Akmang ibababa ko na ang tawag nang magsalita siyang muli.
"Elianna is alive. Kuya found her. Umuwi ka na pagtapos ng graduation."
I frowned with what he said. Iris Lopez is alive? How come that she's alive? She died three years ago!
"Not funny. Ibababa ko na."
"I am engaged again."
Ngumisi ako. Mabuti naman at maitatali na siya. I can't wait to see him suffer with his fiancé. Kung ikakasal siya ay talagang uuwi ako para panoorin ang pagdurusa niya.
"Good for you. Uuwi ako sa kasal mo. Galingan mo na lang, gusto ko ng pamangkin."
"With her.."
My lips parted and got confused. With her?
Halos sumabog ang puso ko nang mapagtanto kung sino ang tinutukoy niya. My eyes widened and felt scared again like before. Ganito ang naging reaksyon ko nang malamang engaged ang kapatid ko sa kaniya. Lalo pa atang lumala ang takot ko ngayon.
"Don't you ever dare, Atlas!"
I'm scared that I might fall short. I'm scared that she might marry someone else. Takot akong baka pagbalik ko ay makita kong siyang masaya na sa iba, habang ako rito ay hindi pa rin makausad.
"I told her that you'll come home last night.."
Hinilot ko ang sentido ko. "What did she say?"
"She said she doesn't care."
Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko saka tumango. What he just said broke my heart. Maybe Anastasia doesn't really care about me now. Maybe she have forgotten everything about us. Bakit nga ba umaasa pa akong naghihintay siya sa pagbalik ko? She thinks that I cheated on her, and I can't even tell her the truth.
"Uuwi ako, Atlas."
I immediately went home after graduation. Atlas and mom was in Cebu so I went there too. I can't believe that kuya is right. His girlfriend is alive. She can't remember but she's alive.
"Your girl really has a bad reputation with guys, kuya.." he chuckled. "Landon said she lead him on and left him in the end. Ang sabi ni Anastasia ay lasing lang daw siya nang gabing iyon kaya sinabi niyang gusto niya si Landon."
I clenched my jaw and gripped on the glass tightly. She'd been playing around, huh? Hindi dahilan ang pagiging lasing para gawin ang bagay na iyon!
"She's ruined, kuya.." he sighed. "Bakit kasi hindi mo sabihin ang totoo?"
I shook my head and drank another glass of alcohol. I can't break her heart for the truth. Ang tanging magagawa ko na lamang ay ang bumalik at ayusin ang lahat ng bagay na nasira dahil sa nangyari. I know it's not my responsibility to fix the things I didn't break, but I love her. Wala akong kasalanan sa nangyari ngunit pilit ko iyong aayusin dahil mahal ko siya.
To Anastasia:
Just landed. How are you?
Heard you're engaged again.
I stayed in Cebu for a couple of weeks before coming back to Manila. Nang makarating ako sa mansion ay agad kong hiningi ang numero niya kay Atlas. Pati ang numero ng pinsan niya ay hiningi ko rin. Daniel is a potential business partner for Atlas.
From Anastasia:
So what? I don't even know you.
You're one of my admirers? Move on. I am getting married.
Uminit ang dugo ko sa sinabi niya. Admirers? Alam ko namang marami siya no'n pero bakit pa ba ako nagulat? It pisses me off big time! Why does she have admirers?!
To Anastasia:
Don't worry. I won't sneak into your room like I always do before. See you tomorrow, Anastasia.
Bumuntong-hininga ako saka nilagok ang alak na natitira sa baso. I shut my eyes and wandered around the secret garden. Isang beses ko lamang siyang dinala rito ngunit nagustuhan niya iyon. And now, I can't move on to this place.
Our family organized a party for my parent's wedding anniversary. Nang magsimula ang pagdiriwang ay hindi naman ako nagpakita. I was so used in hiding. Ngayong na sa akin na ang karapatan para magpakilala, hindi ko naman magawa. I don't deserve to be recognized without her.
Huminga ako nang malalim saka lumabas ng kuwarto. I formally greeted everyone with a plastered smile. Nang pumasok ako sa ball room ay siya agad ang hinanap ng mga mata ko. Imposibleng hindi imbitado ang pamilya nila.
"Atlas. Where is she?"
Sumilay ang mapang-asar na ngiti sa labi niya. "Bakit, kuya? Are you going to make a move on my fiancé?"
Agad na kumulo ang dugo ko. "Sasabihin mo o sasapakin kita?"
He laughed and pointed at the lady beside mom. I felt like my heart stopped beating when I saw her again. Her red velvet dress complemented her porcelain skin. Ang diamante sa kaniyang leeg ay agaw pansin ngunit natutok ang tingin ko sa mga mata niya.
Anastasia Elissa..
She was eating strawberries with Amethyst by her side. Malawak ang ngiti niya habang nagmamasid sa ibang mga bisita. She laughed when an elderly woman tapped her. Elegante at tipid ang bawat kilos niya kaya naman lalo siyang naging kapansin-pansin sa lahat.
"That's the Salazar heiress, right?"
"Yeah. Maganda, hindi ba?"
Iniyukom ko ang kamao ko saka bumaling kay Atlas. He was raising his brows to those men.
"Tell her to go to the garden." I ordered.
He shrugged and cooly walked away. Alam ko namang wala siyang nararamdaman para kay Anastasia ngunit hindi ko matanggap na siya ang fiancé ng babaeng mahal ko. I can't just accept that!
"She's engaged. Sayang, bro."
Pinagmasdan ko siya habang kinakausap ang kapatid ko. She was even laughing. Sandaling iniwan siya ni Atlas bago binalikan may mayroong hawak na alak. She grinned and walked away holding two glasses.
Huminga ako nang malalim at hindi hinayaang lamunin ako ng takot ko sa muling pagharap sa kaniya. She can punch or slap me. She can hurt me as long as she wants. I don't mind. I deserve her wrath and I will accept it willingly, mawala lang ang galit niya sa akin.
"I told you I won't sneak in to your room like before.."
Nakita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya nang makita ako sa hardin. The smile on her lips fade as I stood up in front of her.
"Speechless, Anastasia?" I chuckled. "Missed me?"
Itinikom ko ang bibig ko sa kaba. Her eyes are still expressive like before. Ang labi niya ay hugis puso pa rin, at ang buhok niya ay mahaba pa rin gaya noon. Anastasia Elissa is still as beautiful as the day that I met her.
"Missed you?" She laughed. "In your dreams, maybe?"
Ang tanging nagbago lamang ay ang tingin niya sa akin. She doesn't look at me the same anymore.
"The party is inside. Makakaalis ka na."
Sumimsim siya sa vodka saka umiwas ng tingin. It pains me so much to hear her cold voice towards me. She used to have this sweet voice that makes me want to do whatever she wants me to. Ngunit ngayon ay parang tono pa lang niya ay wala nang pakialam sa akin.
"I know. I wanted to check someone here also.." I smirked as I continued leading her on.
"Well, that someone doesn't want to be checked.." she rolled her eyes.
"You're hoping that someone is you?" I teased.
Mahina siyang tumawa. Masaya akong makita siyang muli ngunit nasasaktan akong sa ganitong paraan at pagkakataon. Anastasia doesn't love me anymore. Wala na siyang nararamdaman pang kahit ano para sa akin kung hindi galit na lamang.
"Looking good, Ayden.. Happy to see you here."
Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata. I can't read her. Hindi na siya gaya noon na madaling basahin ang iniisip. She looks... distant.
"You look beyond gorgeous tonight, Anastasia.." I said.
And what I said is true. She is really beautiful. She is gorgeous. Kahit sa Australia ako napadpad ay walang pumantay sa ganda niya para sa akin.
"Blooming.." I smiled. "Maybe, you have someone now?"
Mahina siyang tumawa saka umangat ang kilay. Malakas pa rin ang kabog ng dibdib ko sa maaari niyang isagot. Bakit ko ba iyon itinanong pa? Sasaktan ko lamang ang sarili ko!
"Maybe.." she teasingly smiled. "Your brother?"
Umigting ang panga ko kasabay ng naramdaman kong kirot sa puso ko. Does she like Atlas? Nagustuhan na ba niya iyon sa mga panahong wala ako?
I didn't move when she passed by me. Naiwan ang mabango niyang amoy sa akin kasabay ng paghawi ng buhok niya. I closed my eyes and felt my heart pierced.
"You know what?" She turned to me.
"What?"
"I think your brother will have you as his best man.." she smirked. "See you at our wedding."
Nawala ang gitla sa noo ko nang sabihin niya iyon. How can she talk about it like it's nothing? How can she say that without any hesitation? Paano niya nasasabi ang mga bagay na iyon na parang wala lang sa kaniya ang nangyari sa amin noon?
Why does it feel like that she's done, and I am still here, stuck in the middle of nowhere, hoping that she might still be in love with me?
Natapos ang party na iyon na hindi na ako muling lumabas ng kuwarto. Hindi na ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob para harapin ang iba at ipakilala ang sarili ko bilang isang Valdemar. I did everything in my life with her. Ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko na magagawa ang iba pa na wala siya sa tabi ko. I am so attached. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako hihiwalay, at kahit kailan ay hindi ko gugustuhing humiwalay.
They had a lunch with Atlas and mom. Masakit sa aking panooring nagtatawan sila habang ako ay walang ibang magawa kung hindi pagmasdan ang singsing na ibinalik niya sa akin noon. I kept it because I can't move on. I don't want to move on.
"W-what are you doing?"
Ini-lock ko ang pinto saka dahan-dahang lumapit sa kaniya. Ang ganda niya pa rin sa paningin ko kahit galit ang nararamdaman ko. I am really crazy. I cannot deny that.
"Why are you here, Ayden?!" Galit niyang tanong.
"So, when's the wedding?" I coldly asked.
Her lips parted and silently laughed. I clenched my jaw because of my anger. The wedding is in a month? Paano ko magagawang pigilan iyon kung isang buwan lamang ang mayroon ako?
"Ano ngayon sa 'yo?"
I chuckled deeply. "Ano ngayon sa akin?"
Muli akong humakbang patungo sa kaniya. I closed my fists and stared at her eyes. She changed but I know that deep inside, she is still my Anastasia Elissa. She is still my bestfriend, the woman I love.
"Subukan mo pang lumapit at sisigaw ako."
"You're scared of me now?" I teased. "Dati lang ay inaakyat ko pa ang kuwarto mo."
"Shut up!" She shouted. "Where's Lolita?"
Lalo akong lumapit at lalo siyang umatras. Matapang ang mga mata niya at parang hindi magpapatalo sa akin. I can't see the eyes I used to look at before.
"The wedding's in a month, huh?" I bitterly said. "Kung natuloy kaya ang kasal natin noon, ilang taon na ang anak natin ngayon?"
Her jaw dropped with what I said. I felt pain in my chest when I saw her eyes full of sadness. Parang gusto kong basagin ang sarili kong galit at yakapin siya ngunit hindi ko magawa. Because I know, things are not the same anymore.
"Kung hindi mo ako niloko noon, masaya pa rin kaya tayo hanggang ngayon?"
My lips parted because of the urge to tell her the truth but I just can't. Hindi ko siya sasaktan para lang sabihin ang totoo. I know she deserves to know, but I can't find the strength to tell her. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupulutin kung makikita ko siyang umiiyak dahil sa relasyong masisira ko kapag sinabi ko ang totoo.
"Hindi kita niloko.." Mariin kong sabi."Hinding-hindi ko magagawa iyon-"
"Tapos na. Wala na tayong magagawa ro'n.." She pointed at the door. "Tumabi ka na lang para makabalik na ako sa kapatid mo."
Para akong nanghina sa sinabi niya. There's no way she's marrying Atlas. I know her. She won't do things she doesn't want.
"Pakakasal ka talaga?" My voice felt cold.
"Hindi mo na dapat iyan itinatanong."
She was about to walk away from me when I pulled her arms and pushed her against the wall. There's no way she's marrying Atlas. Hangga't narito ako, wala siyang ibang pakakasalan.
"No matter what you do, I am still your endgame."
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at umigting ang panga. I know she's mad at me. Alam kong ayaw niya ako sa paligid. Ngunit hindi ko kayang manahimik na lamang at hayaan siyang pakasalan ang kapatid ko. She is for me. I know it. I am sure of it.
"You hear me? You are not for my brother. Akin ka. Gaya noon.." I darkly said. "You are mine, Anastasia. I am your endgame.."
Agad na nawala ang sakit sa mga mata niya. Lalo akong nanghina nang makitang ngumiti siya at mahinang natawa. She doesn't care anymore. Wala na lang ako sa kaniya.
"You haven't move on, I see.. Move on, my bestfriend.." she mocked. "I am marrying your brother.."
My heart broke. I felt like my veins are popping because of the rage I am feeling. She will never marry Atlas, I know it.
"Where's the ring, then?" Hamon ko.
She frowned. "Why do you care?"
"He didn't even put a ring on your finger.." I clenched my jaw. "He doesn't want to marry you."
She rolled her eyes at me. "No one cares."
"I care!" I roared. "If he can't love you the way I do then don't settle with him!"
Kung dumating man ang panahong kailangan ko na siyang ipaubaya dahil wala na akong magagawa, gagawin ko iyon nang pikit mata. Saka lang ako susuko kung mas higit ang kayang ibigay ng iba kaysa sa kaniya. Dahil hangga't kaya ko, ipaglalaban ko siya.
"Kung mahal mo ako, bakit mo siya hinalikan ng gabing 'yon?" She asked. "If you really loved me, why is my missing necklace on her neck that night?"
I couldn't answer her. Hindi ko masabi ang mga salitang noon pa niya gustong malaman. I can't do it.
"You wanted to marry me not because you're in love with me.. You wanted me for recognition.."
Agad akong umiling. I desperately shook my head and denied everything. I never wanted her for recognition! I wanted the recognition for her! Siya ang dahilan ko sa lahat!
"You wanted to show them you are capable. That's why you told me to marry you instead of Atlas.."
"That's not true!"
No matter how much I deny it, she will never believe me. Alam kong kahit lumuhod ako at sabihing hindi iyon totoo, hindi niya ako paniniwalaan dahil hindi ko maibigay ang sagot na gusto niya noon pa. I feel helpless. I can't do anything.
I drank my beer as I watched Anastasia dancing her heart out. Noon pa man ay mahilig na siyang sumayaw. I clenched my jaw when I saw some other men eyeing on her. Agad akong tumayo saka ibinagsak ang bote sa counter. Habang naglalakad ako patungo sa kaniya ay natanaw ko rin ang pinsan niyang naglalakad mula sa kabila.
He immediately pulled her and hid her from me. Si Joaquin ay humarang din na para bang may gagawin akong hindi maganda kay Anastasia.
"Ignatius Valdemar.."
I clenched my jaw. "Daniel Salazar.."
Asia looked scared. She should be scared. If these two are planning something funny, I am not going to hesitate. Wala akong pakialam kung dalawa sila.
Umalis sila dahil na rin sa pangungumbinsi niya kay Daniel at Joaquin. I clenched my jaw and watched them walk away. Hindi na rin ako nagtagal doon at umuwi na. I sent a text to her when I got home. They are protecting Asia, I understand that. Ngunit huwag lang nilang tatangkaing pigilan ako.
To Anastasia:
Your friends are so protective of you. I like it. Siguro ay hindi ka nila pinayagang maligawan habang wala ako?
I clearly know the answer because Atlas told me. She's playing around. They don't need to be strict on her because she dump all her boys whenever she wants.
From Anastasia:
Why are you there? FYI, I had so many boys while you were gone. Stop thinking you’re so special.
I felt a little pain in my heart. Bakit ako, hindi nagawang maghanap ng iba kahit na wala siya sa tabi ko? Why does it seems that this is so easy for her?
Halos lahat ay galit sa akin, ngunit hindi si Faye. She was the one who told me that they're in that bar that night. Siya lang ang nakipag-usap sa akin simula nang makauwi ako. She asked what clearly happened but I didn't tell her. Ang tanging sinabi ko lamang ay hindi ko niloko si Anastasia.
"Excuse me, that chair is occupied." she said and flipped her hair.
I raised my brows and looked at her. "You have no one with you here."
"You’re stalking me now?"
I don't stalk. Ngunit kung gusto niyang tawagin iyong ganoon, walang problema sa akin.
"Ang sabi ko, may naka-upo na sa silyang ‘yan." Ulit niya.
"Imaginary date?" I teased.
She rolled her eyes. "I paid for that chair. Pwede kitang sipain palabas rito."
I chuckled and shook my head. She's mad at me but she allowed me to eat lunch with her. Hindi niya ako kinausap o ano man, but it was fine with me. Ayos na sa aking magkasama kaming dalawa gaya moon.
She blocked my number for texting her. At ang hiningi niya sa aking kapalit ay ang mga avocado galing Cacedes. Malayo ang farm na iyon mula Manila kaya kinailangan ko pang bumyahe. And they don't sell just three pieces. Kaya ngayon, hindi ko alam kung kanino ko ipamimigay ang sobra.
"You also broke your promise that I'll never lose you if you ever fall in love with someone.." she whispered.
Sa pagkausap sa kaniyang muli ay hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses nabasag ang puso ko. I am still breaking.
"I didn’t break it. I am still keeping my promise until now.."
She looked away and inhaled deeply. Sa kilos niya ay parang pinipigilan niya ang sarili niya sa isang bagay. Her eyes were sorrowful and it feels like she wants to leave.
"You broke it when you left."
"I still love you when I left.." I firmly said.
Our simple conversation turned into a heated argument. I want her to release everything she feels. She can hurt me. Puwede niya akong sampalin, suntukin, o kahit ano man. I can take it. Ang hindi ko kakayanin ay iyong ganito kaming dalawa.
"Why are you walking away, Anastasia?"
"How dare you say that!" she shouted at me. "How dare you put all the blame on me! Ikaw ang nagkamali! Ikaw ang sumira!"
I felt rage in me again. Lumapit ako sa kaniya at mariin siyang tinignan sa mata. I don't blame her! But I need her to believe me! Kahit ang katotohanang hindi ako nagtaksil na lang ang tanggapin niya!
"Ako lang ba? Ako lang ba talaga ang nagkamali?" I desperately asked. "You wanted me to leave! Pinaalis mo ako dahil ayaw mo na!"
I don't want to sound rude. Ayokong lumabas na sa kaniya ko isinisisi ang lahat. Kaya kong tanggaping hindi niya na ako mamahalin ulit, ngunit sana tanggapin niyang hindi ko magagawang magtaksil.
"Oo, ayoko na! You cheated on me!"
"I did not cheated on you! Baka rin ikaw ang may iba kaya mo ako pinaalis! Guys were all around you!"
I can't help but to be mad about all of that. Habang ako ay nagdurusa sa Australia para patunayan ang sarili ko sa lahat, siya ay naririto at nagpapakasaya sa iba't ibang lalaki!
“You jerk! Ako pa? Hindi ba’t ikaw ang may Danica? Ikaw ang may iba!”
I can feel her anger towards me. Hindi ba't ayos na rin iyon? At least she feels something. Kahit galit, basta't may nararamdaman siya. Hindi ko kayang wala siyang pakialam sa akin.
“I hate you! Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Ikaw ang pinaka malaking pagkakamaling nagawa ko!”
Hindi ako nakapagsalita nang makitang namumula na ang mga mata niya. Nagbabadya na ang mga luha niyang tumulo.
“Kahit ano mangyari, hinding-hindi ako uulit sa ‘yo!”
Is she crying? Is she crying because of me?
Marahas kong hinila ang braso niya saka pinalapit sa akin. Halos mauntog siya sa baba ko dahil doon. I stared at her angelic face and memorized every inch of it.
“You are my greatest mistake..” I whispered. “But I never regretted committing you..”
I lied. She is not my mistake and she will never be. Nang makalayo siya sa akin ay gusto kong habulin siya at lumuhod, magmakaawa para sa ikalawang pagkakataon, ngunit hindi ako nakagalaw. I shouldn't have said that! She is not a mistake!
Siya ang pinaka magandang nangyari sa buhay ko. She is not and will never be a mistake.
I gathered all of my strength that night to talk to mama. I love her and I want to follow what she wants. Ngunit hindi ko isasangkalan si Anastasia para ro'n. Atlas cannot make her happy, and I know I can. Ibibigay ko ang lahat gaya noon, magtitiis ako sa mga bagay na gusto niyang gawin, but I cannot do that if she's going to marry my brother.
"Ito lang ang tanging hihilingin ko sa inyo."
She frowned and stood up. Lumapit siya sa akin saka dinama ang pisngi ko. She smiled and nodded at me.
"What is it, Ayden?"
I inhaled deeply and held her hand. Hanggang ngayon ay nasasabik pa rin ako sa kalinga ng magulang. I don't want to hurt her but I love Anastasia so much. I can't let this happen.
"Ako na lang ang ipakasal ninyo. Hinding-hindi ko siya hihindian, mama."
Her eyes widened when she realized what I mean. I told her everything that happened to us. Pati na ang katotohanan tungkol sa ina ni Asia ay sinabi ko. That's the only way I can do to make her say yes. At hindi nga ako nabigo. Mama did everything to retrieve all the invitations and changed Atlas' name to me. He talked to dad about it and convinced him. Ngunit hindi naman ako pumayag na hindi ko kausapin ang ama ko. I know he will understand.
"Ignatius Valdemar, pipikutin ang isang babae.." singhal niya. "You'll go this low?"
Nilagok ko ang alak ko saka bumaling sa kaniya. "Hindi lang ganito ang gagawin mo kapag nagmahal ka, Ponce de Leon."
Javier Ponce de Leon is my colleague in Australia. Umuwi lamang noong isang buwan para sa isang dahilang hindi niya sinabi kung ano. I asked him to do something for me. I know he can do it. Of course, Faye told me where they were. Agad kong tinawagan si Javier para gawin ang dapat gawin.
He was laughing when he entered the room. Ibinagsak niya ang attache case sa sikmura ko saka umupo at nilagok ang tirang alak.
"Dude, calm down. Babae ba ang problema mo?"
He groaned and shook his head. I opened the case and saw the top paper. Inilabas ko iyon saka binasang muli. I smiled widely and looked at Javier.
"Paano mo napapirma?"
He chuckled. "Binola ko."
Inis kong ibinato sa kaniya ang case saka inirolyo ang papel. I walked out of the room and looked around the bar. Anastasia is still on the bar stool. Kaya lang ay nakayuko na at mukhang nakatulog na. I won't bug her tonight. I'll let her enjoy the days before we get married.
Gabi bago ang inaakala niyang kasal kay Atlas ay hindi ko napigilang tawagan siya. Hindi ako nagparamdam sa kaniya at hindi ko na matagalang hindi siya kausaping muli. I silenced Atlas when Asia picked up the phone
"What do you want?"
I chuckled. "Chill. I just called to congratulate you, Anastasia."
"For what?" She sounded irritated.
"For your wedding. Isang araw na lang, ikakasal ka na. Are you happy?"
She got silent on the other line. She sighed and cleared her throat. "Y-yes."
Hindi maayos ang tunog ng boses niya. It feels like she has a problem. Siguro ay itong kasal ang pinoproblema niya.
"Okay, then. Ibababa ko na."
Natahimik ang linya. Hindi ako nagsalita ay ganoon na rin siya. She definitely has a problem. I can feel it. Ganito siya tuwing may problema.
"Ayden.." she spoke. "You still there?"
"I am still here. I am always here.." I answered.
The line goes silent again. Ipinikit ko nang mariin ang mga mata ko. Paano pa kung malaman na niyang ako ang pakakasalan niya? Will she be more upset? Mas gusto niya kayang si Atlas na lang kaysa sa akin?
"Ayden.." her sweet voice called me.
"Hmm?"
"I just want to say sorry for everything.."
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I inhaled deeply and walked away from Atlas. I locked the door of my room and continued listening to her.
"I think this is what I need. Closure.." her voice broke. "I want to forget and leave everything about us now."
And with that, my heart is broken again. Maaari pa nga bang mabasag ang isa pusong noon pa durog?
"I will marry your brother.." she said. "We will see each other for sure. Ayoko naman na may sama ka ng loob sa sister-in-law mo."
I massaged the bridge of my nose and sighed. She won't be my sister in law. Hindi ako papayag.
"You are not my mistake, Anastasia.. I lied.."
Now, I got the strength to say it. She is not a mistake. She will never be.
"I was insane for replacing my brother as your fiancé before but I didn't saw it as a mistake. You are not my mistake.."
She sniffed and exhaled deeply. Pakiramdam ko'y napupunit ang puso ko sa tuwing naiisip kong umiyak siya.
"M-maybe we should get our tattoo removed?" Her voice quivered.
Pumikit ako saka dinama ang tattoo naming dalawa. I touched my outer wrist and remembered the night we got it. It was her birthday.
May 18.
Á la folie..
"To insanity.." I whispered.
"To insanity.." she whispered back.
I don't know how the call ended that night. It seems like she fell asleep talking to me. Mabigat ang bawat paghinga niya kaya alam kong mayroon siyang problema, na malamang ay ang kasal.
That same night, I got hesitant. Hindi ko alam kung itutuloy ko pa ba ang kasal. She clearly doesn't want to get married. Pero kung hindi ko itutuloy ay si Atlas muli ang papalit. I can't do that. I can't let him.
"Will she say I do?"
Umaga ng araw ng kasal ay tinawagan ko agad si Faye. I feel so nervous. Ano kayang magiging reaksiyon niya kung ako ang makikita niya sa altar? Will she run away? Will she get upset?
"I'll tell her." She casually said.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "You think she'll listen to you?"
She laughed on the other line. "Anastasia always listen to me."
I sighed and massaged my temple. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko sa sobrang kaba. My palms are sweating and my hands are shaking. Hopefully she wouldn't run away. Sana ay may natitira pa siyang kaonting pagmamahal sa akin para magpatuloy sa paglalakad patungo sa akin.
When the wooden door opened, I saw her, the love of my life, with empty eyes. Akala ko ay iyon na ang magiging pinakamasayang araw ng buhay ko ngunit nagkamali ako. When I saw pain in her eyes while walking towards me, I knew exactly that what I did was wrong.
Ang inaasahan kong kahit kaonting pagmamahal ay hindi ko nakita. She was there as the heiress of the Salazar group. She was there for her responsibilities. She wasn't there as my Anastasia Elissa. She wasn't there for me.