49 – Everything
"Kuya.."
Aziel tapped Ayden's shoulder when we got home. Kauuwi lang nina Elianna mula sa Cebu. Kami naman ni Ayden ay kagagaling lamang sa trabaho.
"Elianna."
I smiled at her and hugged her. Niyakap niya rin ako saka ngumiti. Bumalik sila para sa nalalapit naming kasal, balita ko rin na muling mag-aaral silang dalawa. Elianna didn't finish college. Si Aziel ay nakapagtapos ngunit mag-aaral siyang muli.
Binitiwan ni Ayden ang kamay ko saka sinundan ang kuya niya sa isang kuwarto. I sat down infront of Elianna. Pinagmasdan ko ang magagandang shells sa lamesa na ginagawa niyang bracelet.
"Is that your hobby?" I asked.
She showed a smile and shook her head. She really is beautiful. Kaya pala hindi nalimutan ni Aziel kahit na inakalang namatay na.
"No.. Ito ang hanap-buhay namin ng kaibigan ko sa Cebu noong wala pa akong maalala."
Tumango ako saka kinuha ang isa. "Nagbebenta kayo sa mga turista?"
She smiled and took one out of her pocket and held my hand. Pinadulas niya iyon sa kamay ko para isuot sa akin.
"Nagbebenta kami tuwing walang shift sa resort.."
"Iyong resort ni Aziel?"
"Oo.." she giggled. "Pero, hindi pa kaniya iyon noon."
I can't help but to be really amazed with their story. Iris Elianna Lopez was dead. Tatlong taon siyang patay sa paningin ng lahat puwera kay Aziel. Ngunit sa huli ay tama naman pala siya. His love is alive.
"Noong una mong nakita si Aziel sa Cebu, anong naramdaman mo?" Kuryoso kong tanong.
"Natakot ako.. Tinawag niya akong Elianna, e.." mahina siyang tumawa.
"And you didn't know you're Elianna."
"Sa isip ko, ako si Agape. Hindi ko kilala si Elianna, hindi ko rin kilala si Aziel."
I slowly nodded. It must've been so hard for them. Gaano kasakit kaya iyon kay Aziel na hindi na siya naaalala ng mahal niya?
"I just fell in love with him again.." she smiled. "Hindi ko siya naaalala bilang Aziel noon, pero minahal ko pa rin siya. Minahal ko siya ulit."
Umawang ang labi ko. So, it's true that the heart never forget? Na maaaring makalimot ang isip, ngunit ang puso ay hindi.
"Ikaw iyong kinuwento sa akin ni Ayden noong senior kami, hindi ba?"
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ako?"
Tumango siya saka binitiwan ang taling hawak at ang shells. Umiling ako nang bahagya dahil parang hindi naman ako iyong sinasabi niya. It might be another girl.
"Hindi ata ako iyon, Elianna.." iling ko. "We were just bestfriends that time. Hindi pa–"
"That's it. Ikaw nga."
I frowned. Ayden and I weren't really a thing when we became seniors. Noong dulo, oo. Pero hindi pa noong umpisa.
"We weren't really close when we were in eleventh grade. Twelfth grade lamang noong sinimulan niya akong kausapin. He was talking about a girl.."
Kumabog nang malakas ang dibdib ko. Ayden did talk about me to her?
"Lagi niya akong tinatanong kung bakit mahirap ang magmahal ng isang taong hindi mo kapantay, at kung paano siya magiging karapat-dapat." She chuckled.
Kumirot ang puso ko. That's what he said on Faye's wedding night. Na gusto niyang patunayan ang sarili niya noon pa.
"Ang sabi niya'y mahirap abutin ang babaeng mahal niya. He wanted to be recognized as a Valdemar to be deserving for that girl. I know it's you."
Kinagat ko ang labi ko saka binalingan ang kuwarto na pinasukan nila. There was a glass window so I can see him. Tumatawa siya habang kausap ang kuya niya.
I thought he wanted me for recognition? I never realized that he wanted the recognition for me. Hindi kailanman sumagi sa isip ko na gusto niyang kilalanin bilang Valdemar para maging karapat-dapat.
"Ako ang kakanta sa kasal ninyo, ah?"
Bumalik ang tingin ko sa kaniya. I smiled and nodded. I haven't heard her voice, pero kung gusto niyang kumanta, ayos lang sa akin. She can sing as long as she wants to.
Nang matapos mag-usap ang magkapatid ay naunang lumabas si Ayden sa kuwarto. I can't help but to stare at him and think about what Elianna told me. He smiled and walked towards me to kiss my forehead. Nakita kong ngumiti si Elianna saka ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa niya.
We decided to head to bed after dinner. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi pa rin ako makatulog kahit na halos tatlong oras na akong nakahiga. Ayden's even snoring, at nakasiksik na naman sa akin. And now I don't know if I'm his pillow or his wife. Again.
Dahan-dahan akong bumangon at inialis ang braso at binti niya sa akin. I stood up and carefully opened the door. Nang makalabas ako ay dahan-dahan kong isinara iyon saka naglakad patungo sa kusina. There's a lot of food in the fridge but I didn't like any.
I sighed and drank water. Halos mapatalon ang puso ko nang mayroong kamay na dumausdos sa baywang ko. He placed his chin on my shoulder and yawned.
"Why are you up?" I asked.
He shook his head and yawned again. "Just checking out."
Mahina akong natawa dahil sa bahid ng antok sa boses niya. Hindi na dapat siya bumangon pa. I'm just drinking water.
"Can't sleep?"
I smiled and turned to him. Lalong naging singkit ang mga mata niya dahil kagigising pa lamang at inaantok pa. I put my arms on his shoulders and raised my brows.
"Elianna told me something."
He pursed his lips. "What about it?"
"She said you were talking to her about the girl you liked."
"And?"
Ngumuso ako saka dinama ang malapad niyang kamay sa baywang ko. He kissed my temple and looked at me again.
"Tinatanong mo siya noon kung paano magiging karapat-dapat."
His lips parted with what I said. Umiwas siya ng tingin ngunit agad kong hinawakan ang pisngi niya upang tumingin muli sa akin.
"I thought you wanted me for recognition."
"I wanted the recognition for you." He corrected.
"I thought you never really loved me."
I misunderstood everything. Kahit na tapos na ang lahat ng tungkol sa pagtataksil niya noon na hindi niya ginawa, at ang kay Joanna ay marami pa rin akong mga bagay na nalalaman. Everything is getting clearer now.
"I loved only you from the start." He whispered.
"Napaka babaw ng pagmamahal ko sa 'yo noon. I was immature to even listen and talk."
Umiling ako. I was immature. Puro ang nararamdaman ko lang ang inisip ko. I didn't think of any possibilities. Dumepende ako sa mga salitang gusto kong marinig mula mismo sa kaniya.
"Mahal na kita noon, hindi ko nga lang alam kung paano.." a small smile appeared on his lips. "Kinilalang bastardo, paano ka magiging para sa akin?"
Lumamlam ang mga mata ko. "Sa iyo naman ako noon pa man."
Mahina siyang tumawa saka pinagdikit ang noo naming dalawa. Unti-unti kong naramdaman ang pag-init ng mga mata ko.
"Sa iyo lang din ako, Anastasia."
Halos mapatalon ako nang mayroong kumatok sa lamesita. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita si Atlas na nakasandal sa hamba. He looked away while holding a box.
"Atlas!" Ayden roared.
"I didn't see anything!"
Agad akong bumitiw kay Ayden saka naglakad patungo kay Atlas. Kumunot ang noo ko sa hawak niyang box. Jenga?
"Gising pa pala kayo. Laro raw sabi ni kuya." Umiwas siya ng tingin.
Awang ang labi kong tumango saka bumaling kay Ayden. Atlas walked away from us. Natatawa akong lumapit sa kaniya saka hinila ang braso niya.
He snorted. "Inaantok pa ako."
Nang dumating kami sa salas ay naroon ang mag-asawa ay si Atlas. It's already midnight. Bakit ngayon pa nila naisip na maglaro?
Mahina akong tumawa saka tumabi kay Elianna na nag-aayos ng blocks. Pati ata ang mga katulong ay tulog na. Pumangalumbaba ako saka tinignan si Atlas at Ayden na pabirong nagsusuntukan. I rolled my eyes and looked at the blocks.
Nang magsimula na ang paglalaro nila ay nakinood na lamang ako. Elianna didn't join them. Tanging ang tatlong lalaki lamang ang naglaro.
"Final na ba ang kasal?" She smiled.
"Oo.." tumango ako. "Ipadadala na lamang ang mga invitations."
She nodded and looked at Aziel. Ingat na ingat ang asawa niya habang namimili ng block na aalisin.
"Ang kupad mo, kuya.."
"Shut your damn mouth, Atlas."
Ayden laughed. "Kailangan mo pa bang sabihin 'yan? Gaano ba katagal bago niya naitali si Elianna?"
Aziel rolled his eyes and took out a block. Ang sumunod naman ay si Ayden. Humalukipkip si Aziel saka nakipag-high five sa asawa niya. Bumaling siya kay Atlas saka nagtanong.
"Where's your girlfriend, Atlas?"
"Atlas is gay." Mahinang sabi ni Ayden habang inilalabas ang block.
Aziel shrugged. "Gays can have girlfriends."
Umakto si Atlas na sasapakin ang asawa ko. I laughed and looked at Ayden being serious in putting his block on the top. He sighed and started finding his block.
"My girlfriend doesn't want me."
Ayden wheezed. "Or she just doesn't know that she's your girlfriend."
Malakas na tumawa si Aziel saka mahinang sinipa si Atlas. "Bring your imaginary girlfriend here sometimes."
Natapos ang gabing iyon nang gumuho ang blocks sa ika-apat na pagkakataon. I fell asleep on the couch but Ayden carried me to bed. Kinabukasan ay gaya ng ordinaryong araw, we got to work.
Ang kompaniya ay bumalik na sa dati at mayroon na muling malinis na pangalan. My guards Benny and Bronny didn't resign and continued working with me. Ang posisyon ni Mathias ay naging bakante dahil wala naman akong pinagkatiwalaan ng sobra sa kompaniya bukod sa kaniya. I am going to hire someone soon. Ngunit sa ngayon ay kailangan ko munang matutunan ang pagiging independent.
I haven't talk to mom since our last fight. I was so mad at her to even forgive her after everything she did. Ngunit ngayon na lumipas na sa akin ang lahat, I think I can talk to her calmly and forgive her. Nalalapit na ang kasal ko, wala man akong hininging permiso niya gusto ko pa ring naroroon siya. Ayden told me that he wanted mom to be there at our wedding. Ganoon din naman ako, gusto kong naroroon siya.
"Sa bahay namin, Bronny."
He nodded and started the engine. I plan to have lunch with her. Hindi ko alam kung mapag-uusapan namin ang nangyari noong nakaraan. Siguro ay ibibigay ko na lamang ang invitation pagtapos ng lunch. I really wanted to check on her last time but I felt like I wasn't ready.
I felt relieved as I stood up in our front door. Hindi naman nagbago ang bahay. It still looks elegant but lonely. Tahimik ang paligid dahil wala yata ang mga bisita ni mommy.
"Miss Asia!"
I smiled at Patty and gave her a hug. Agad ko siyang kinumusta kasama na nina Cressida. They told me mom isn't doing well. Hindi raw gaanong lumalabas ng kuwarto, pati na ang dati niyang pagliliwaliw ay itinigil niya na.
They told me she is on the dining hall. Tumango ako saka tinungo iyon. She was eating silently with no one by her side. She immediately looked my way when she heard my stilettos click.
"Asia.." she looked shock.
Huminga ako nang malalim saka umupo sa kabilang dulo ng lamesa. Agad na kumilos si Ate Tessy para hainan ako ng pagkain. Ipinagpatuloy ko ang pagmamasid sa kaniya habang awang pa rin ang labi niya sa gulat na naririto ako. Her eyes even looked teary.
Nagsimula akong kumain nang dumating ang tanghalian. Walang sino mang nagsalita sa aming dalawa para basagin ang katahimikan. It feels good to eat lunch with her again.
I looked at her when she pushed her plate away. Marahan niyang pinunasan ang labi niya saka binalingan ako.
"I am getting married, mom.." I inhaled a deep breath. "Magpapakasal ulit kami."
She looked down and nodded. Isang maliit na ngiti ang ipinakita niya sa akin saka marahang nagtanong.
"I am invited?"
I smiled. "Of course. You're my mother."
Pumikit siya nang mariin saka umiling. Nanginig ang labi niya saka hinawi ang buhok.
"I don't mind if I'm not, Asia. Your husband may not want me to be there. After everything I've done–"
I cut her off. "He told me he wants you to be there."
Natigilan siya saka pinunasan ang luhang pumatak. She inhaled deeply and cleared her throat. There is so much sadness in her eyes. I can't even explain it.
"Pupunta ka ba?" I hopefully asked.
Nagkibit-balikat siya saka tumango. "I g-got a new satin dress from Paris. I might wear that."
Mahina akong tumawa saka ibinaba ang kubyertos. I stood up and walked towards her. Inilabas ko ang invitation saka marahang inilapag iyon sa mesa. Pinunasan niya pa ang isang luha saka hinawakan iyon.
"I need to go.. I still have work. Iniwan sa akin ni dad ang gawain niya."
She nodded and stood up. Sinilip ko ang oras sa relo saka ngumiti ulit.
"I heard you're doing good in the company."
"I don't have any choice.."
I gently bowed my head to her and turned my back. Hindi pa man ako nakakalayo ay um-echo na ang boses niya sa buong hall.
"Asia, if you want to study again, I would completely u-understand.." her voice broke. "You can do what you love again! Hindi na kita pipigilan ngayon."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You can pursue photography.. Just like what you wanted before.."
I would've been so happy if she let me do that before. But things have changed now. I am married and I have way more things to accomplish in the company.
"I would love that.." I sadly smiled. "But I have responsibilities now."
Muli akong humarap sa kaniya saka huminga nang malalim. I walked towards her and embraced her. Naramdaman ko ang paghikbi niya saka pagyakap sa akin pabalik. I closed my eyes and forced myself not to cry. Tapos na akong umiyak. I am closing the door of the past. I am here to start anew and move on.
Nang makabalik ako sa opisina ay sinimulan kong muling asikasuhin ang iilang iniwan sa akin ni dad. He's out of the country so I am in charge. I don't really have much time to waste.
I let Ayden to fetch me now. Sabay na kaming umuuwi sa mansion pagtapos ng trabaho. The skypod is done now but we decided to stay more time in their mansion. Lilipat kami ro'n matapos ang kasal.
It's been three weeks since Faye's wedding. Tatlong linggo na rin ang nakalipas mula nang magkita-kita kaming anim matapos ang mahabang panahon. Joaquin asked us to go back to our school before. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya iyon naisip pero ginusto ko ring sumama. Ayden was down, of course. Ngayong nakabalik na si Faye galing honeymoon, pumayag siya. Daniel can't say no to Amethyst so we were complete.
Gaya noon, we sat on the bleachers while eating chips. Papalubog na ang araw kaya naman kakaiba ang ganda ng kahel na langit.
"Sa katapusan ng taon ang kasal ninyo, mayroon na bang pangalan ang baby?"
I licked my ice cream and glanced at Ayden, Daniel, and Joaquin fighting over a ball they found under the bleachers.
"Asia, stop talking about the name! Kami ang magpapangalan!" Inis na sagot ni Am.
"I'm just suggesting!" I grinned. "Daniella Amara!"
Kumunot ang noo ni Faye saka inagaw ang chips. "What about Aira Denise?"
"Doesn't sound good, Faye."
It's amazing to see how much we grew within those years. We are now in our own path but still continue growing together. May mga panahon din namang naiisip ko na baka makalimutan na naman ang isa't isa dahil sa trabaho, but we're still here. Nagkaroon ng maraming pagsubok ang pagkakaibigan namin ngunit nanatili kaming matatag, kahit na halos buhay na namin ang kapalit.
"Buti at pinayagan ka ni Ashton, Faye?" I asked.
She smiled and nodded. "He understands. I'll just text him kapag gusto ko nang umuwi."
Joaquin groaned and stared at us. Ayden is on my side while Amethyst is leaning onto Daniel. Si Faye naman ay nakapangalumbaba habang kumakain ng chips.
"Grabe. Ikinasal at ikakasal kayong lahat ngayong taon? Paano na lang ako?"
I giggled. "Masyado ka yatang mapili, Joaquin. Ang dami-dami r'yan, oh."
Tumango si Amethyst at sumang-ayon sa akin. "Lalo pa ngayong nagbanda kayo ulit. Are you guys planning to reach the limelight?"
Para sa akin ay magaling ang banda nila. They were friends since highschool at banda na rin sila noon. Girls were flocking onto their feet after prom night, lalo na siguro ngayon.
"I'm sure they'll gain fans. Guwapo sila, talented pa.." sigurado kong sabi.
Ayden snorted and pinched my arm. "You really said that to my face?"
Mahina akong tumawa saka sumandal sa kaniya. Hinawi niya ang buhok ko saka hinalikan ang noo ko. I smiled and touched his arms.
"Kayo rin iyong tumugtog noong prom, 'di ba?"
Tumango si Joaquin sa tanong ni Faye. I can't remember the song they played but that was the time I knew I was in love. Dahil sa kanta nila noong gabing iyon, doon ko nalamang mahal ko na pala si Ayden nang higit sa kaibigan.
"The song you guys played that night hit me. That's when I realized I was in love.."
"With?" Ayden frowned.
I giggled. "You."
"Oh, shut up."
Joaquin rolled his eyes and walked to the middle of the field while holding the ball. Ibinagsak niya iyon sa damo saka inapakan. He raised his brows at Ayden and Daniel.
Ayden groaned and stood up. Natatawang tumayo si Daniel saka sinundan si Joaquin sa gitna.
"Can you still play, Uncle Ayden?" Joaquin teased.
"I'm pretty sure I'm better than this grandpa." Ayden smirked and pointed at Daniel.
I laughed and lay down the bleachers. Amethyst smiled and followed me. Gaya noon, humiga rin si Faye sa pareho naming puwesto. I giggled and stared at the orange sky.
"Ang bilis ng panahon, ano? Dati, estudyante lang tayo rito.. " ani Faye.
"This is where we stay whenever we cut class."
"History class." I laughed.
Bahagyang bumangon si Faye saka sinilip kaming dalawa. "Nag-cutting ba tayo? Hindi ba't nanonood lang naman tayo ng mga naglalaro?"
"Nanonood tayo kahit may klase, cutting iyon."
Bahagya ring bumangon si Amethyst para silipin kaming dalawa. She laughed and pointed at me.
"Asia isn't watching the game. She's watching those girls who like Ayden!"
Umirap ako. "I don't."
"She got jealous over a soda!" Faye cackled.
Natatawa kong hinila ang buhok niya para gantihan sa pang-aasar. Kung alam ko lang na may gusto na siya noon kay Joaquin ay inasar ko rin siya!
Bumangon ako para tignan ang tatlong lalaking naglalaro sa field. Joaquin was laughing so hard at Ayden and Daniel. Hinahabol ng pinsan ko ang asawa kong tumatakbo palayo.
"Ignatius Valdemar, I am going to shave your head!"
I never really thought that Daniel, Ayden, and Joaquin will reunite like this. Sobra ang galit nila kay Ayden dahil sa mali naming paniniwala at dahil na rin sa kagustuhan nilang protektahan ako. I understand them, though. Hindi naman talaga namin alam ang nangyari. But after everything, we are still here. Standing by each other, stronger than ever.
Faye is now married with the love of her life. Sa nangyaring iyon ay natutunan kong hindi naman talaga nasusukat sa tagal ang pagmamahal. Faye was hurting for a long time because of someone who didn't love her the way she did. Then Ashton came along the moment she decided to free herself from everything. Love is indeed timeless.
I never thought that Amethyst and Daniel will end up together. Akala ko noon ay walang pag-asang maging sila dahil silang dalawa ang hindi magkasundo. But opposites do really attract. I thought that love needs to be fine and planned. I was wrong when I believed that in love, things should fall into places. But I realized that love doesn't have to be perfect and ideal.
As I look at Ayden, I can't help but to remember every mistake I made in the past. I judged and wronged him. I made him feel like he's the worst. But he forgave me after everything. He understood me and made me feel that what I was feeling is valid. Kahit noon, he was always there.
Because after all, love really covers multitude of wrongs. And with his love, I felt that. And this love is everything.