The rest of April came and went, May too. The weather warmed up so fast. I'd missed the heat though. I wasn't made to be in the cold.
June started and the flowers the city planted along the sidewalks near the trees were almost done blooming. It made my walk to work so much prettier.
Kimmy and Dustin sent a lot of pictures from their honeymoon. They flew to California for two weeks and I'd never been so jealous before. I'd been writing and editing a lot more than usual because we were in our busy season now that summer was coming. A vacation was more than needed but I didn't have the time.
Business at Harry's store had picked up as well. He'd apparently helped a well known business man from Charlotte. He told Harry he was visiting family near the area and needed a quick gift. He was over the moon that Harry just happened to have the record his sister liked and he had apparently raved about Harry to all his friends. He'd had to keep the store open later though.
We'd both been working a lot of long hours. We'd spent more time apart than together lately. He ended up sleeping at his place the last few nights because I was already asleep by the time he was able to close up for the night.
He'd had an unusually slow day today though and made it to my apartment before I finished getting ready for bed.
I heard the front door open and close. There was silence for a few seconds and I heard soft footsteps walking toward the kitchen.
"Darling?" His voice was quieter than usual. It was dripping with exhaustion.
"Bathroom!" I was in the middle of washing my face when he came in. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind so I could keep my arms and kissed the back of my head. "How was your day?" He watched my fingers work through my skin.
"Less stressful than the last month. I think that weird rush might be dying down. I probably shouldn't be grateful for it, but I can't help but be a little glad. I'm exhausted." He moved next to me and grabbed his toothbrush from the holder and wet it before putting toothpaste on it and wetting it again.
I cupped water in my hands and brought it to my face a few times to make sure all the facewash off. I dried my face with the towel on the counter and followed Harry's actions to brush my teeth.
"Good. You've been tired lately. I feel bad that I've been asleep by the time you've been able to leave, especially since the store is closer to here than the house." I talked through the toothbrush in my mouth.
"You don't need to feel bad. I'd rather drive home than ask you to stay up to wait for me." He spit in the sink and rinsed his mouth before bringing the toothbrush back to his mouth.
We finished brushing our teeth in silence. He washed his face when we were done while I went to the kitchen to grab water for us both. He'd finally gotten rid of his bottled water only kick and had finally stopped complaining about my filtered water. I didn't understand it, but it's fine.
I heard the water shut off and the light switch flick. He joined me in the kitchen a few seconds later and took the water from my hands. He was missing his shirt. I'd missed getting to look at his tattoos the last few days. The butterfly was my favorite, aside from his silver spoon on the back of his arm.
"Tell me about work today?" He put his elbows on the island and took a sip from the straw.
"It was the same as always. A million things to edit and strict deadlines to accompany them. My to-do list wasn't even a quarter of the way finish when I left today either."
He didn't say anything but looked at me with a sad expression. I knew we were both feeling stressed about work and hating that we hadn't been able to see each other lately, but I felt like we were managing pretty well.
"When's the next time you can take a night off from the store?"
He pulled his phone and scrolled for a few seconds before looking to me. He had light circles under his eyes. "I have Bethany closing for me Saturday and Sunday night. Why?"
I walked around the island to him and pulled him from his bent position so I could wrap his arms around me. I intertwined my fingers behind his back and buried my cheek into his chest, breathing in the mixture of his facewash, toothpaste, and cologne as much as I could.
"I think we deserve a night to ourselves. I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks." I pulled my head back to look up at him.
"What did you have in mind?"
"How does vodka and a movie night sound?"
"Absolutely perfect.
The next few days passed agonizingly slow. We'd gone back to our usual schedules as of recently and he'd spent the rest of the week at his place because he didn't leave the store until after midnight.
But it was finally Saturday and we finally had a night where we were both free. He'd be at the store until around five, so I was at the store stocking up on snacks and booze. Strawberry was the flavor of the night. I picked up fruit punch to mix it with. I grabbed Harry's favorite snacks, including the butterscotch candies he liked so much.
I set everything up when I got home. I grabbed blankets and pillows from the bed and organized them on the couch. I put all the snacks on the coffee table and the drinks in the fridge. I got a ridiculous amount of vodka. We hadn't talked much all day so I hadn't been able to assess what kind of day he'd had.
I got some work done while I waited but I got lost in work and it was a little after 4:30 when I paid any attention to the time. I saved my work and pushed away from my desk. I told myself that I was going to get in the shower at four so I could be out before Harry got home and he'd have hot water for a shower if he wanted one. I've obviously failed that plan.
I waited for the water to warm and left my clothes on the floor. The water felt so nice as it fell down my body. I wet my hair and just stood under the stream. My muscles relaxed for the first time all day and I could feel the stress washing off my body and dripping down the drain.
I'd been so in my head that I hadn't heard the door open or seen a shadow through the curtain. I did, however, hear the curtain being pulled back. I opened my eyes when his arms wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed right behind my ear.
"I see you've decided to steal all the hot water." He kissed down my neck. I turned in his arms to look up at him. He followed a drop of water slide down my side of my face with a small smile. I snaked my arms around his waist and let my head rest on his chest.
He turned us around so he was standing under the water. He let me go and let his head fall under the water, running his hands through it.
"I see you've decided to intrude on my shower." I pulled away to watch him. His eyes were closed. Some water dripped from his forehead and down his face. He looked lost in the water, his face was relaxing more the longer he stood there. One drop fell down the bridge of his nose and dropped to his lips, sliding down his neck and collided with a few more on his chest before it disappeared. He looked beautiful like this.
A smile crept to his face. He pushed his hair back with his hands one more time and wiped his face off before letting his hands fall to his sides. He tilted his head down and brought his face closer to mine. "I didn't think you'd mind too much. Was I wrong?" I shook my head and connected our lips.
His hands trailed down my back, fingers dancing over my wet skin as they fell. They stopped at the bottom of my spine and he pushed me into him a little too rough. His back hit the wall when our bare chests pressed together and our faces fell under the water. He let his hands explore my body, having never touched it while it was wet before.
"God I've missed you this week."
A chill was sent over my skin every place he touched it, but heat under his touch as well. We'd both been so busy and had spent the last few days away from each other. It's not something we were used to anymore. Being away was hard.
He reached behind me and grabbed my shampoo. He squirt some in his hands and looked at me expectantly.
"Are you gonna stand there or are you gonna turn around?" I did as he said and I felt his fingers massage my scalp. My eyes fluttered closed as he lathered my hair. I let my mind wander as his fingers worked through my head. He was softly humming in my ear, but I didn't recognize what it was.
I thought about meeting him. I still don't know how I hadn't seen his store. I'd found every single on in the city and it was on my walk home. He'd said something that day about it not being the right time. Harry had the extraordinary ability of always being right. He didn't purposely try to be right all the time. He just was.
The night he cooked me dinner came next. He'd put in so much effort to make it special. That was something I had never experienced before and looking at where we were now made it even better. But then I thought about something that I saw. He had a guitar in the corner of his room that night. But I never saw it again.
His humming hadn't stopped but he moved around me and pushed me back under the water. I let my head fall back as he rinsed it, doing his best to keep any shampoo from falling in my eyes.
"Harry, how come I never see your guitar when I'm at your place?" His hands stopped rinsing my hair for a moment before they continued, slower this time.
"How do you know I have a guitar?" He pulled his hands away and I opened my eyes. He looked perplexed.
"I saw it the night you made me dinner. I guess I forgot until now. You haven't mentioned it and I haven't seen it since." I reached for my conditioner and lathered it through my hair as he did the same with the shampoo he bought to leave in my shower. We switched place again so he could rinse his hair.
"It's in the closet." He kept his answer brief. I didn't understand why he was trying to avoid it.
"How long have you played?"
"I learned when I was 16. I thought it would be a good way to pick up girls." He grinned at what I can only assume was a memory.
"When was the last time you played?"
"Last night." He continued to move around the shower. I could see him trying to find something, anything to change the conversation. But my curiosity was getting the best of me.
"Will you play for me sometime?" He was staring at his feet and avoiding all eye contact.
"I dunno, Charlie. Are you done showering?" I nodded and he shut off the water and quickly got out, leaving me to succumb to the cold air that started to leak into the now open shower. His hesitance to do anything more than hum in front of me was starting to make sense. He would always stop whenever I mentioned him humming, like he was ashamed of it or something.
I got out and grabbed my towel from the rack. I saw his back disappear into my room as I was getting out. He was digging around his drawer when I walked in. I leaned against the doorway and watched him as he pulled on boxers and joggers. He faced away from me, but I saw him turn his head enough to see that I was standing there.
"What?" He picked his towel up off the floor. His hair was still dripping.
"Do you have stage fright?" He walked past me to hang it back on the rack.
"I just don't like to play in front of people." He was starting to sound angry at my questions.
"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you. I was just curious. You don't have to play for me if you don't want to." I pulled a shirt and shorts from the dresser and got dressed quickly. "But it's okay to be scared, Harry. Fear is a natural human emotion."
"Can we just drop it? I haven't seen you all week and I just want watch movies and enjoy the one night we both have off." He was sat at the end of the bed, waiting for me to finish getting dressed. He turned to the bed and back to me. "Where's all the bedding?"
"Living room. I figured it would be the best way to achieve maximum comfort." I walked to the bathroom to hang my towel next to his. He was still sitting on the bed when I walked into the hallway. I watched him for a moment. He was playing with his fingers and looked completely in his head.
I walked in and picked up his hands in mine. I placed my knees on the bed on either side of his thighs and sat on his lap. His eyes looked like they were struggling with something, but I wouldn't question it further. Not until he was ready to share.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I wouldn't have said something about it if I had known it was a sensitive subject. We don't have to talk about it until you're ready." I kissed his nose and his smile perked up. "But just know that I'd be honored if you ever decided to play for me." I pushed myself off his lap and pulled him out the door and to the living room. He looked at the table full of snacks, immediately noticing the butterscotch candies I'd gotten just for him.
"I swear, I fall more in love with you every day." He opened the bag and popped one in his mouth. "Did you get vodka?" He pushed it to the side of his mouth and I couldn't help but stare.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed it and the fruit punch from the fridge. I grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and found him half burrito'd on the couch and a movie I'd never heard of pulled up. He'd left a space for me next to him. I sat at the edge of the couch as I poured us both drinks and put it in his hand. He drank it fast and was quick to refill it before I had even had a chance to take a sip of mine.
"Is that how the last week has been?" His face turned a little red. He just shrugged and he leaned back again. He pulled at my shorts to get me to move back toward him. I pulled my legs off the floor and pulled the blanket around my shoulder. Harry grabbed the popcorn from the table and started eating it before he had even clicked play.
He paid attention to the movie, laughing when something funny happened, but I couldn't stop thinking about his guitar. I wasn't going to pry anymore, but I couldn't push it out of my head. He'd been playing for nine years but didn't play in front of people? He'd been playing for a long time, so it couldn't be because he wasn't good. I had a feeling it was more than just stage fright.
Harry's stomach growled, pushing his guitar to the back of my mind. "Have you eaten today?" I looked up at him. He was usually really good about eating, but he forgot sometimes, usually when he's been busy. He'd come over more than once having skipped lunch and he was only a breakfast person on days he wasn't working in the morning.
"I don't think so. I don't really feel like cooking though. Do you want to order something?" I narrowed my eyes at him after hearing he hadn't eaten today. He raised his hands in his defense. "I didn't do it on purpose. I just forgot. Does pizza sound good?"
"Pizza sounds perfect. I'm about to start texting you during your lunch time to make sure you eat. Do you want to call or do you want me to?"
"I'll do it. The usual?" I nodded as he got up to get the number from the fridge. I heard his voice from the kitchen. He gave our usual order and came back a couple minutes later. "She said it'll be here in 40 minutes."
We finished our movie and started a second by the time there was a knock on the door. Harry paused the movie and got up . "Coming!" He jogged to the kitchen to grab his wallet and walked back passed the living room. I hear him open the door and start to talk to the delivery person when my phone rang. My mom's face appeared on my screen.
"Hey mom, what's up."
"Hey bug." Her voice sounded off. It was raspier than normal.
"Are you okay? You sound sick." She sniffled through the phone.
"I'm not sick. I just- God, I don't know how to do this." I hear some shuffling over the line, but her voice was quickly replaced with my dad's.
"Dad what's going on? Is mom crying?"
"Listen bug..." He kept talking and my heart sank to my stomach. I could hear him saying my name, but he sounded so far away. I couldn't move my phone from my ear.
"Alright, now our night is officially perfect." He set the box on the table and opened it. I saw him look at me from the corner of my eye. "Who's on the phone? Is that your dad?" I didn't respond. I didn't know how. "Charlie you're starting to worry me. Who's on the phone?" He waited a few more seconds before taking it from my hand and checking before putting it to his ear.
"Sophie? Oh hey, Jax. Is everything okay? Charlie's not-" I heard my dad interrupt him. His breath hitched. "Okay. Yeah, I've got her. I'll talk to you later. Call me if you need anything."
He kneeled in front of me and pushed my hair over my shoulder. My eyes darted around the room, trying to find something that would keep my grounded. I couldn't do this in front of him. I couldn't do this at all.
"Darling?" He was looking at me, but I couldn't look at him. If I looked at him then I would lose myself. And I didn't know how long I'd be gone if I did. "Charlie please look at me. Tell me what I can do." I felt that familiar knot in my abdomen. It broke it two and a piece lodged itself in my throat, but not tears came out. There was nothing.
I felt nothing.