Marcellus grabs my arm, spinning me back around. "No don't leave. Let me explain okay?"
"I don't want to hear it." I tell him fiercely.
"I thought you fucking died Cora. I felt you fucking die." He tells me with so much anguish. "I got drunk. It made me numb and I couldn't think anymore. I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember why I got drunk in the first place. I couldn't remember you died. I couldn't remember how to feel. I couldn't remember anything." He lies. I could hear it as clear as day.
He let's go of my arm and I step back. I hug my arms around myself. Dread was pooling into my stomach.
"She helped. She helped us look for you. She's Adan's sister, you know?" I shake my head. No I didn't know. I've never met her before. "She was there when I felt our bond break. When I felt your essence leave this earth. She tried to help make the pain go away.
She was there for me. She stayed by my side when everyone else was too scared to even stay in the same house as me." He says but he's no longer looking at me. He's lost in his memories. He has a tender look on his face with admiration in his eyes as he talks about her.
I feel my heart start to freeze over. He was in love with her. He fell in love with another woman. He thought I died and he didn't even mourn losing me. He buried his feelings and fucked another woman to make himself feel better. It hadn't even been a fucking day before he moved on.
Did I really mean nothing to him? Did I ever mean anything to him at all? Was it suppose to hurt less knowing he didn't even realize he's in love with another woman? My heart ices over even more. Was he expecting me to feel grateful?
"I fucked her. I lost you so I lost myself in her. I sought comfort from a woman that I'm not even sure can give me the comfort I needed from losing you. Though my mind couldn't remember you at the time my body still did. It didn't feel like a betrayal though Cora. You were gone." My heart shatters as I fall to my knees with a heart wrenching cry. I didn't want to hear anymore so I cover my ears.
Marcellus gently pulls my hands away from my ears. I push him away from me. Hard. I grab my stomach as I throw up all over the floor. When I'm done I stand up on shakey legs. When he takes a step towards me I bare my fangs at him and hiss.
"Don't you dare try to touch me you fucking bastard!"
"Cora please! If I was in my right mind I never would of touched her! Please, mi amor, try to understand." He pleads to me.
"Understand what, Marcellus? That you were heartbroken and got drunk to numb the pain? YOU'RE FUCKING LYING!" He was lying. He didn't get drunk. Everything else was true but that part wasn't.
I feel so broken inside. I was full of hatred, anger, disgust, hurt, and anguish. He broke my heart. But it was my fault and he isn't in the wrong because he thought I was dead so that makes it okay, right?
He was seeking comfort to ease his pain. He didn't cheat because I was dead and our mate bond was broken. That didn't help make the pain go away. It still hurt. It still felt like betrayal to me.
He was suppose to be my mate. Was it really that easy for him to just forget we had been mates and be with someone else? Because the bond wasn't there to remind him?
"And last night what was your excuse last night? YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR! Oh you thought I didn't know?" My voice is raspy. A dry chuckle leaves my mouth.
"Go on and pretend I'm still dead Marcellus because from now on YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD TO ME!" I scream at him.
"No Cora! No! I won't fucking lose you again!" He tries to close the distance between us again. I was to slow so he was able to gather me into his arms. I broke even more and sobbed into his chest.
He's holding onto me tightly while he rocked me back and forth. When I'm all out of tears he pulls back and cups my face.
"I'll make it right. I will. I'll do anything and everything to fix this between us. I promise. We'll figure it out together, si? Because that's what mates do. They don't give up on each other. They make it work. We can make this work." He says fiercely and wraps his arms around me again tightly.
I was completely numb. My heart was shattered on the floor at our feet. My mind wouldn't shut off though. Telling me I wasn't good enough for him. How I was never good enough for him. If I had been strong enough he wouldn't of been put in a situation where he had to seek comfort from another.
I didn't really blame him for wanting her. She was more beautiful than me. Taller. Her body better shaped. More attractive. More enticing. More luscious. More curvaceous.
She seemed funnier than me. She could make him laugh. She made him happy. She was probably smarter than me too.
"I'll make her leave, mi belleza. Right now." He whispers into my ear. He tightens his arms around me before he steps back. My legs start shaking again. He picks me up bridal style.
"Why make her leave now?" I barely whisper out. I'm not sure he even heard me.
"Marcellus? Is everything alright? Do you want me to have a maid come and clean this up? Is she okay?" Loretta asks him sounding concerned. I feel him stiffen. I stare at the wall with dead eyes.
"No. I can order my own maids to do it. I need you to pack up your stuff Loretta and leave. Out of respect for my mate you will leave our house today. As soon as possible." He tells her sternly.
He starts to carry me out of the kitchen. "Let's get you cleaned up." He says in my ear. He softly kisses my forehead as he passes Loretta. Not sparing her another glance.
He climbs the stairs and heads for the master bedroom. Softly closing the door behind him he goes straight for the bathroom. He place me on the counter. He walks over to the bathtub to run a bath. Adjusting the temperature of the water for a few minutes. When he's satisfied he straights up and walks back over to me.
Lifting me off the countertop, he helps me take my clothes off. I cover my breasts and put a hand between my legs cover that part of me too. I avoid looking at him. He cups my face with his hands lifting my glaze to meet his. I still refuse to meet his eyes. Instead I stare at his chin.
"Don't be ashamed for me to see your body, mi belleza." He tells me softly. Staring lovingly into my eyes. I wasn't his beauty though. I wasn't enough for him. I wanted him to stop calling me that.
"Your body is perfect. Made just for me." His eyes start to heat up but quickly cool down while he continues to stare into my dead eyes. He sighs.
"We'll get through this, mi amor." He tells me reassuringly. "We're mates. You were meant for me as much as I am meant for you. There's nothing we won't ever be able to get through."
He was wrong. The bond between us was broken. We aren't mates anymore. We haven't been sense the day I died. Even if it hadn't been I don't think I could be with him. I didn't deserve to be tied and held down with a liar and cheater for a mate. I was too weak and tired to argue with him though.
He leads me over to the bathtub and helps me get in. He tells me he will be back in a couple minutes and leaves the bathroom. I was a little shocked he didn't get in too but I was so thankful he didn't.
He's so sure we can fix this between us but I knew we couldn't. How do you get over your mate fucking another woman? Especially when it's not even cheating because you were dead? Was I suppose to get over the fact he didn't even wait a whole day?
Trying to turn my thoughts off I slump down into the hot water. It took a while for the water to actually warm me up. I was so cold, inside and out. My body ached and felt weak. My stomach kept cramping up. I felt nauseous but there was nothing left for me to throw up.
I'm jostled awake as Marcellus lifts me out of the tub. I didn't even realized I had fallen asleep. I couldn't help but wonder how long I was in there for because the water was ice cold. Where had he been for so long? I'm lucky I didn't drown myself.
He gently sets me on my feet and starts to towel dry me. I shiver the whole time I'm standing there. He kisses me on the stomach and I flinch. He stands up and leads me out of the bathroom into the bedroom.
"Could I have a shirt to wear please?" I ask him timidly.
"Of course." He walks into his walkin closet to grab a shirt. He walks it over to me and helps slip it on over my head. He then helps me climb into bed. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and I'll be right back okay?" He tells me softly as he gently kisses my forehead.
I nod my head at him. Neither looking or talking to him. I watch him walk to the bathroom pulling off his shirt. I close my eyes in more anguish. He had deep claw marks down his back. Some of them looked fresh and recent.
I close my eyes as tears trail down my face. I fall asleep with the sound of the shower filling the room.
I wake up to the feeling of the bed shifting. Marcellus pulls me into his arms. Wrapping himself around me. My body starts shaking. He tightens one arm around me before lifting the comforter and pulling it more securely around us. After awhile my body finally stops. My eye lids grow heavier. I fall asleep securely in his arms yet I didn't feel secure in them at all.
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I woke up to see it was morning time. I felt even more weak and lightheaded today. I was both restless and exhausted. My dreams had been nothing but nightmares. Nightmares about Starla and Zane. Loretta and Marcellus.
I glance across the bed to see Marc sprawled out on his stomach. My heart aches as I watch him sleep. He looks happy and healthy. He's fit and muscular. He smells good and looks even better. He's too attractive for his own good. He's smart, charming, stubborn, and dangerous. Yet everything I felt for him before was gone.
I have known him for over two months and I know literally nothing about him. Nor does he know anything about me. I didn't feel the connection I felt towards him before anymore. He was quite literally a stranger to me now.
How can someone fall so utterly in love with another being without knowing them? Maybe because love is just a feeling. It either grows stronger or turns to dislike or hate while learning who they are. Knowledge of a person, their personality, their mind, their emotions, their actions all dictate our feelings towards one another.
He was my mate while I was human but was he still my mate when I got turned a vampire? I wasn't so sure. Our connection and bond were gone.
He unknowingly feel in love with another woman. She was there for him through his trial of me being kidnapped and then there for him when he thought he lost me. He grew an attachment to her. Relying on her to help get him through his troubles. He was hurting because he lost his mate. Not because he lost me.
Maybe he is only holding onto us because he thinks he has to. Not because he wants to. Through everything he told me, it didn't feel as if he was ever really talking about me. It was more of me just being his mate. A mate he has a duty towards.
I didn't want that. I want the blind love he has but just doesn't know he does. I want someone to love me because of me. Not because I'm their mate.
Part of me also didn't believe everything he said. It didn't feel like he was telling the entire truth last night. I could hear the lies he tried to sell to me. There's also the fact during his explanation he didn't once mention fucking Loretta when I came back two nights ago. When I mentioned it he didn't explain or acknowledge it either.
What else was he hiding?
I climb out of bed and see the clothes I had been wearing neatly folded and washed, laying on top of the dresser. Grabbing them I go into the bathroom to change. I was grateful I wouldn't have to run around in just Marcellus's clothes. Not wanting to smell like him either I take a quick but thorough shower.
I quickly get dressed after and realize they were actually Collettes clothes she let me borrow instead of Harpers.
The pants fit me like second skin. Enhancing my hips and ass in a complimenting way. The shirt went to my belly button. Showing off my fit belly. I wasn't comfortable in these clothes. Though they complimented my body I still didn't feel good in them.
I grab the brush on the counter and brush out my hair. I stare at myself in the mirror for awhile. I wasn't breath taking beautiful but I wasn't ugly either. I looked average.
Leaving the bathroom as quietly as possible I see Marcellus sleeping in the same position still. I leave the bedroom and head for the kitchen.
I wasn't surprised to see Collette, Adan, Connor, Zyair, and Harper in here but I was shocked Loretta was still here.
Saying a friendly hello to everyone, I walk over to the fridge and open it. There was nothing in there that caught my attention so I shut it and go into the pantry.
I was deciding on what I wanted to eat when I hear a man's voice I've never heard before. It made me pause for a second. It was the most alluring voice I've ever heard. I could listen to him talk all day and not grow bored.
I grab a box of cereal and leave the panrty. My breath catches at the sight of the man standing next to Harper who was talking to Zyair.
I thought Marcellus was overly attractive but he had nothing on this guy. This guy was over the top, drop your panties to the floor and fuck me anywhere you want to take me, kind of attractive. My mouth literally watered while moisture build and leaked onto my panties.
He was as tall as Marcellus, with pitch black hair and forest green eyes. He had perfect cheekbones and facial structure. His body was build like a body builders but not overly muscled to where it made him unattractive. He was dressed casual in a plain black tshirt and blue jeans.
He had an attractive smile with very white teeth. I saw a flash of fangs when he talked. His voice was hypnotic and alluring. It made me break out with chills and goosebumps.
He finally notices me and I flash him a charming smile. I watch him slowly run his eyes down my body, and back up again. I smile to myself as I walk back to the counter so I can make my cereal.
I feel him approach me, the air sizzling between us even though I'm not facing him, the closer he gets to me.
I take a deep breath. I almost felt like I wasn't getting enough air in, it was almost like I was suffocating. I've never felt anything like it. Not even with Marcellus. He doesn't say anything at first. He just stands behind me and my heart starts to race faster.
I freeze when his rainforest scent surrounds me. Clarity and certainty entering my mind, heart, and soul. I turn around to face him.
His eyes captivate mine. Pulling me into his soul. I felt like I knew him, like he was a missing piece to my puzzle that I finally found and fit perfectly. This man was mine. My very soul was screaming out for him.
"Mate." I gasp out just as Marcellus walks into the kitchen.
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