"
our society leaves us untrained about a lot of things.
one such thing is sensitivity.
there are several topics that are still taboo to speak about, acknowledging them still a matter of shame and detest.
i have never understood why.
it always starts from school.
being part of a school with boys and girls means you get to learn a lot of things about both genders as you grow up after a certain age. it is both fun and exasperating and at times embarrassing too.
the other thing that happens is making friends. some pick the big and mighty groups of kids who come from families of influence while some kids form groups within their own decent standing.
the rest of them are treated as outcasts.
school and high school were personally brilliant experiences for me. i came from a reasonably well to do family and was decent at academics and sports. i had a warm set of friends.
i never gave any thought to social paradigms and groupism because i never found myself in a situation that demanded that from me.
until one day, that changed.
it was in the morning post recess when i returned back to class.
there was a girl at the last bench with her head down and i could see her body visibly shaking with what i assumed was sobs.
"what's with her?" i asked my friend and she gave me a slightly uncomfortable look.
"didn't you hear? she tried to kiss louisa yesterday?"
"what?! but isn't she a girl too- oh... she's... that?"
"oh tess, don't be so shy. you can say it."
"um, okay," was all i could say before we were interrupted by the rest of the class joining in.
it didn't feel like i was in the same class anymore. where once oblivious, i could now see my classmates constantly ogling at her and throwing snide remarks in serpentine whispers.
the girl was aware about it and yet didn't dare raise her head. nobody seemed to care that she didn't, either.
within a few days, the matter cooled down and she was now treated as a leper to be kept away from. nobody spoke to her and people were certainly interested in making her life more difficult.
one afternoon, i happened to find her in the loo alone.
she saw me and diverted her eyes almost immediately and chose to enter a stall instead.
i went on with my normal ablution until i heard a strangled sob escape.
my heart bled for the girl.
in all earnest, i couldn't understand the hype people made about the situation. she behaved like any normal girl, and she was a human being like the rest.
she preferred girls over boys.
why did that change the way people saw her?
"she's sinning so bad, even hell would be ashamed to take her in."
"her mother should have sent her to church, maybe then jesus would have saved her soul."
"maybe she's born with some kind of deformity."
"liking women... how does that even work? sounds as sick as it can get."
"maybe she can think about joining porn films, she'd earn a good buck with her natural taste."
it was sick honestly, the things that people said. there were many times, both at school and home, where i wanted to defend her honour but was either too scared or too shy to make a stand, afraid of being cast out as a leper too.
yet today, i couldn't get myself to ignore her anymore.
"samantha, would you please step out of the cubicle? i need to ask you something genuinely."
"go away!"
"sammy, i promise you that you won't regret it. i don't want to hurt you."
reluctantly, the door opened. in another moment, i could see why. her eye was blackened and her nose was bleeding.
someone had already hurt her.
i made her wash her face and helped her up to the clinic on the floor above to get her checked.
the nurse was sympathetic and bandaged her up as best as she could while asking her about the source of injuries.
she kept quiet and the nurse understood.
it didn't seem like the first time that this was happening even though it was a first that i was witnessing it.
after the clinic, i decided to take samantha home. i had a free lecture and school was nearly done so i chose to utilize the empty corridors to sneak her out to safety.
a part of me was still cowardly to be discovered.
samantha lived 8 blocks away from my own and was closer to the school so i helped her walk home without much talk.
when we reached her doorstep, she smiled meekly.
"thank you, tess. would you like to come in?"
i didn't know what to answer much but i was burning with curiosity about a lot of things. things which only she could answer.
i nodded my head.
she let me into the house and dumped her bag sideways. i followed suit. she had a nice little house and came from a background of comfort. her parents were both corporate officers.
she sat on the sofa and i joined her, looking around awkwardly.
she sighed.
"you can ask me whatever you want. you're not the first person to have that look in your eye."
"what look?" i shot back defensively and regretted my tone almost immediately. she smiled ruefully.
"that one, right there."
i remained silent and she smiled.
"if you're uncomfortable, i understand. you don't need to sit here by me and sympathize."
"but i want to be here!" I replied and the genuineness seemed to get through her. she looked surprised but didn't push the matter further.
that afternoon, we sat there doing nothing.
the next afternoon, we had a conversation about our science test.
the one after, one on our birthdays.
the week later, we were discussion holidays.
the month later, we were sharing secrets.
three months later, she finally told me what it was to be a lesbian.
six months later, she was one of my closest friends.
by this time, i was steadily being considered an outcast too. but nobody dared bully her in my presence anymore.
a year later, we graduated high school and were moving to different cities.
we were in constant touch through calls and social media (facebook was just booming).
two years later, i got a call from her mother to inform me that she'd committed suicide.
apparently she couldn't find another tess to protect her from the bullying at college.
something broke within me that day.
since then, i took more interest in the lives of the underprivileged minority communities, all oppressed over one reason or the other.
that pushed me to turn towards the law.
the law told me that the lgbtq+ community had no rights beyond the human rights of the united nations. love was considered sinful, marriage a crime.
existence a double edged sword.
that pushed me further.
today i am a proud advocate for the lgbtq+ community and have several friends from the very same community who are at great heights of life.
most of these people had stories similar to samantha.
bullied for being different, shunned by society. misunderstood, misrepresented. laughed at, mocked at for gender reversal.
then there were some who are not a part of the community but were bullied for being alike one because a guy's voice was too feminine or because a girl looked too manly or because they did not fit gender norms.
most of these people were close to giving up their lives at one point or the other after continual rejection.
each of those people, i realized though, also had a tess in their lives who made them feel loved and special and celebrated.
who didn't make them feel eerie but made them feel normal. who accepted them for who they are and believed them to have the potential to achieve everything they want to achieve. they made life worth living.
and so today here i am, inaugurating the samantha rainbow pride association trust to touch and alleviate the lives of several not only from the lgbtq+ community but from all minorities and spheres of life.
for the real pride was not in a community but is in being proud of who you are, irrespective of your community.
self empowerment.
this was a cause very dear to samantha when she was living and i hope and pray that she's happy up there and that i have continued her legacy - if not in life, then in her death.
"
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- the inaugural speech by an advocate of the fair, right and equal...
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