song for this chapter is we fell in love in october by girl in red. i highly recommend listening to it ;)
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Swimming in a closed pool on top of a hotel roof with Harry Styles is something I would not have imagined myself doing in a million years.
But— here I am, standing at the edge of a moonlit pool with him.
He brought me to the roof, at first I was confused because he said we were going swimming, but then I realized the pool was on the roof. The roof was lit by the city lights and the moon, making the water look dreamy.
We were both standing at the edge of the pool, looking down in it, not sure who's going to jump first.
"I am not wearing a swimsuit." I say, turning my head to look at him. I guess I could swim in my shirt and shorts, but I would probably look stupid.
"Neither am I." He smiles before bringing his shirt over his head, showing off his tanned, toned body.
God, that body. Kill me now.
"Well— what am I supposed to wear?" I ask while he throws his shirt on one of the sun chairs. He turns his head back to me and smiles, furrowing his brows a little.
"You're wearing a bra and underwear aren't you?" He states in confusion, making me sound stupid.
"Well— yeah." I shrug, looking to the side.
"Just wear that." He says before walking over to me so that he's right beside me.
"I don't know—" I say quietly.
It's not that I feel like Harry's going to be a perv or something, I am just— very self conscious. I have been since I was a little kid. Its fucking ridiculous being a woman in this world, because nothing you do is perfect. People will always try and critique something about your body, if you're bigger than other girls then you're not attractive. But, if you are the 'ideal' beauty type then everyone hates and is annoyed with you. It's all impossible.
"Hey—" Harry says while bringing his hand up to my chin and tilting my head up to look at him, "You don't have to cover up around me."
"Ok." I say hesitantly, before grabbing the hem of my shirt and slowly bringing it over my head so my whole stomach and chest was exposed.
Harry's eyes immediately widen for a split second before going back to their normal state, and he turns around to face the pool again.
I slide my shorts down my legs and step out of the holes, so now I was just in my bra and underwear. I definitely felt out of my comfort zone right now—
But screw comfort zones.
"Ok. I am ready." I state, looking back down at the pool and then back up at Harry.
He was being very respectful with this situation, I am sure he knows I am feeling anxious with being showing so much skin. But, he's being very polite, he hasn't said any sexual remarks or scanned my body up and down like so many guys do. I can rarely go to the beach or a public pool because the next there will always be pictures of me in a bikini all over the internet. People will always find something to complain about, whether your legs looks to big or you look to skinny. It's ridiculous.
"You wanna jump in first?" He asks with a small smirk rising up on his face.
Before he even gets to answer, I dive into the pool. As soon as I hit the water my whole body woke up. The water was freezing cold, but the excitement in my ruled over the temperature.
I hit the bottom of the pool and then push myself up, causing me to quickly reach the top. As soon as I break the surface, my hair falls back against my back and I wipe the water from my eyes. I look up at Harry with a big smile, and nod my head towards the pool, gesturing for him to jump in. He was just staring down at me, his eyes an unreadable expression. He looked deep in thought, almost confused.
"You coming in?" I ask him, swimming to the edge of the pool to where he was standing. I rest my elbows on each side of his feet and look up at him with water dripping down my face.
He then suddenly does a canon ball into the pool, jumping over me and into the center. It causes a big splash, making me laugh and cover my face with my hands. I watch him reach the bottom of the pool and propel off of the floor like I did. Once he reaches the top, he shakes his head to fix his head of messy curls.
"Shit it's cold." He laughs, making me smile.
"Just swim around and it'll warm up." I say as I flip my self over so I was floating in the water on my back. I look up at the sky, seeing those two familiar bright ones on each side of the moon, the same ones I saw on the night I tried Harry's cigarette.
Harry goes back underwater and swims towards me, popping his head up right beside me. I flip back vertically so we were both looking at each other.
"My favorite color is orange." He suddenly states, making me cock my head to the side.
"What?" I say, smiling a little at him. He looked so different right now then before. There was water dripping down from his hair and into his face. The droplets of water slowly rolling down all of the features on his skin.
"The first time we were in the car together— you asked me what my favorite color was. I didn't answer because I thought it was a stupid ass question. But— my favorite color is orange." He truthfully answers.
Oh my god.
My heart immediately picks up it's pace and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach fly around.
He is opening up to me.
"My favorite color is green." I tell him. He looks up at me, his eyes dancing between mine like he couldn't choose which one to look at. He looked so vulnerable right now.
"Green?" He says in shock, bringing his hand up to his mouth dramatically.
"Yes, green. Not like a neon green but like a forest green". I defend, laughing a little at his reaction.
"That's a weird color." He says while slowly inching closer and closer to me.
"Says the one who likes orange." I mock while laughing at him.
"Oh shut up" He laughs while throwing his arms into the water, splashing me.
"Hey!" I yell, splashing him with just as much force.
We get into a mini-water fight, just splashing water back and forth at each other and laughing.
"So— why did you want to bring me up here?" I finally ask once the playfulness dies down. Now we were both just standing in the pool treading the water so we could both look at each other. Even soaked in pool water I could still smell his cologne.
"Because— I don't know. I guess I just thought it was nice up here." He says while keeping eye contact with me.
"It is." I state. I tilt my head up so I can look up at the moon.
"You like the stars, yeah?" He asks while he watches me stare up at the night sky.
"Yeah." I admit, looking back at him.
"Me too." He says in a calm tone before looking up at the black sky himself, "What do you like about them?"
"I don't know" I answer truthfully, "I guess they always make me feel safe. Like— I know I am not alone in this big universe. They help me remember that at the end of the day none of this shit matters, so I should just live life how I want." I confess. I am surprised I actually said that, I usually keep my philosophical thoughts to myself.
"My mom used to tell me that every time someone dies that someone else loved, a star is born." He says while staring up.
I watch him in awe as his eyes travel from one star to the other. The water droplets falling from his eyelids to his nose, and into his chin. This is the first time I have really felt— content with Harry.
"Your mom sounds very smart." I say.
"She was."
Was. Oh.
"My dad didn't like my fascination with the stars. He always just called them dying balls of fire." I confess to him, "It always made me so angry because they always made me feel so safe."
"Your dad sounds like a real ass." He chuckles, looking back down at me.
"I guess. He was just— harsh." I admit.
I don't know why I am telling all this stuff to Harry, I don't talk about my family to anyone. My family embarrasses me. They're a bunch of stuck up know-it-all's who think that life is purely about business and money. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
"You know— you're much more then I expected." Harry states, making the butterflies in my stomach erupt.
God this man is too much.
"Why, thank you" I smile, faking a curtsy.
Harry gives me a half smile before looking down again. As much as I thought I was out of my comfort zone, I am now realizing Harry is too. From what I can tell, he doesn't like to 'get to know people'. Or become friends. I guess this is kind of a big deal for him.
"Thank you." I say, trying to reassure him.
"For what?"
"For bringing me up here. It's beautiful." I smile, before swimming to the other side of the pool by the steps. I slowly lift myself up out of the pool and walk over to a rack of beach towels, grabbing the one on top.
"Out so soon?" Harry asks, following me to the stairs of the pool and getting out himself.
"I thought maybe we could smoke?"
"What like pot or something?" He half jokes, walking over to me and grabbing a towel too.
"No—" I laugh, "A cigarette."
"You sure babe? Last time you had one you nearly coughed out a lung." He chuckles while bringing the towel up to his hair, drying it off.
"Yeah— why not." I smile, walking over to wear he left his clothes, grabbing the cigarette pack off of the chair.
"Did you bring a lighter?" I ask him.
"Always." He says, pointing to the small black lighter that was one a table.
I grab the cigarettes and the lighter and walk to the edge of the roof, looking out at the view. The city was almost empty with just a few cars stopping and going on the streets. It was beautiful.
There was a thing glass railing along the edge of the roof that I leaned up against, my back facing the view and towards the pool. Harry walked over to me and stood in front of me, before grabbing the lighter and cigarette from my hands.
He takes the cigarette and puts it between his teeth, before bringing the lighter to the end of it and putting his palm around it so it doesn't lose its flame. I watch him intently as the lighter catches flame and he brings it to the white stick.
Once it's lit, he takes a sharp inhale, his cheeks hollowing. He lets the smoke sit in him for a second before exhaling through his nose, and then removing the cigarette from his mouth and handing it to me.
"Ok, this time don't breathe in as much." He instructs me as I bring the cigarette to my mouth.
I nod at him before taking a small breathe in and this time, I can feel the smoke smoothly travel into my mouth and into my lungs. I close my eyes for a second before taking the cigarette out of my mouth and letting the smoke drift out.
"Hey, look at that. I did it." I smile in success, handing the cigarette back to Harry.
"Proud of you Liv." He says, smiling a little and bringing the cigarette to his mouth.
Liv.
It sounded so natural coming from him.
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longest chapter yet! i am super proud of this one. i'll try my hardest to update tomorrow but i am not sure if i can.
let me know how you're liking it! don't forget to vote and comment! <3