Emir looks out on his new city. It's not completely unfamiliar to him. He's been there for work on occasion. But it looks new from Reyhan's window at the clinic. He just wishes she were awake to see it too. But she's still in the coma. Although the transfer from the hospital in Istanbul went well and the doctors here seem optimistic about her recovery, he still worries about her. And even more so, he misses her. He feels like things were just really starting between them. And now she's like this.
"Wake up, Güzelim," he whispers to her. "I don't like what life is like without you."
Life can be funny like that. When he was trying to push her away and get her to leave, she wouldn't go anywhere. But now that he'd do anything to keep her, she's so far away that he can't reach her.
"So much time I wasted."
He'd do anything to get that time back.
So far every day here has been the same. The doctors come to examine Reyhan and she gets tests and specialized medications to help internally. Then the nurses and various therapists come to handle the external - bathing and dressing her as well as physical therapy to help keep her in good physical condition. The first few days Emir just stood aside and watched the physical therapy portion. But now he takes part in the therapy for her, making sure her muscles stay healthy and pliable. But also giving him a chance to stay as close to her as possible.
The nurses have been amazing. And also amazingly patient, especially with him and his constant presence and never ending questions. He spends nearly every minute at the clinic and has become very familiar with them all. Half are in love with him, not only because of his good looks and his wealth. But also because they see how devoted and utterly in love he is with his wife. He even has a corner of her hospital room set up as office space for him to handle any work that comes up. He's been lucky to be able to work mostly virtually. It's especially helpful that he has Zafer to go back and forth between Istanbul and Ankara, so work continues to be done. He doesn't know what he'd do without Zafer. He's made it possible for Emir to stay by Reyhan's side. Because leaving isn't an option.
"I watched you sleep like this once," he admits. "It was on our wedding night, after you so bravely came to my bed. You had fallen asleep afterwards and I just looked at you. Part of me felt so lucky to have you in my life. But a bigger part of me was so angry at my father and the whole situation. And I took it out on you."
If only he had been able to appreciate then the gift he had been given. Even if it was just letting her know how grateful he was for the breakfast she made for him the next morning. Just a small, simple thank you. But instead, he had been cruel to her. So unnecessarily cruel. If he's honest, deep down all he really wanted to do was take her back to bed. The anger won over that desire, unfortunately. And it continued to win for a long time, fueled by his mother's games.
"Never again," he promises, placing a gentle kiss on the hand he's holding.
The nurses come just then. It's time for one of her treatments. Needing a little space, Emir leaves them to it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He walks around the hospital on a route that has become familiar. They've been there for a little over a week and he knows exactly how long to stay gone until the treatment is over. Today, he decides to stop at one of his favorite places ... the nursery. He likes seeing the babies. He likes imagining what it will be like when it's his and Reyhan's baby on the other side of the glass.
Continuing on his walk, he goes a little further and passes a room with some older kids. They jump and wave, excitedly calling out "Abi" as he passes. They too fill his heart with joy. Seeing them brightens his day. But he's also sad that they have to spend their childhood there. He had asked a nurse one day about the children. She told him that most of the kids are there for a few days to a few weeks for treatment for various issues. Some are there for dialysis. Some are there waiting on a new heart or other organ. Most have their own rooms and family that visits often. This room here is just a play room where they can gather and have normal kid time.
He's about to keep walking when a ball rolls out in front of him. A little girl comes running after it. He stoops down to pick it up and ends up eye level with her. He can't help smiling at her adorably dimpled grin. This is the little one he's seen often who reminds him of Reyhan. Same coloring. Same dark hair. Same huge eyes.
"Be careful, bir tanem," he says to her, giving her the ball back. She graces him with another one of those beautiful smiles.
"Thanks abi!" She hugs him before running off.
He smiles after her. This was just what he needed. Each day Reyhan remains in the coma is another day for his heart to break a little more. It's another day he can't show her he loves her. But after seeing the children, he goes back to Reyhan's room full of hope. Reyhan will get better. She just needs time and he just needs patience. Then once she's better, he'll do whatever it takes to win her heart.
Once he gets to the room, even better news greets him. The doctors believe Reyhan can come off the coma medication now. The treatments have gone well and it's time for her to wake up.
"How long will it take?" Emir asks, back in his spot next to her, her hand in his.
"She's been in the coma for almost two weeks. So it will take some time for the drugs to leave her system," the doctor explains. "If after 72 hours she hasn't woken up, we will give her something to help the process along. We just don't want to give her medication unnecessarily."
72 more hours. Three more days and this nightmare will be over. Then their real life can begin.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later that evening, Emir is out in the hall making a call to his father and letting him know how Reyhan is doing.
"They're going to stop giving her the medication that's keeping her in the coma," he tells his father. "And hopefully she should be waking up soon."
"Suna sends her love," Hikmet says. "And Melike too. They really miss her. We all do."
Not everyone, Emir thinks with a sad sigh. His mother continues to be conspicuously missing during all of these phone calls. But she no longer has to pretend anymore. Emir has seen her true colors.
Ending the call with his father, Emir turns to go back to the room when he sees the little girl from before (the one with the ball) hiding while nurses search for her. She covers her mouth to hold in a mischievous little chuckle and it amuses him. He nearly laughs out loud when she sneaks into Reyhan's room right behind the nurse's back. He had left the door open, so it gave the girl the perfect escape route.
He alerts the nurse closest to him, but puts his finger to his lips. He points into Reyhan's room to let the nurse know where the little girl went. When the nurse turns to go inside, he holds her back.
"She's fine. My wife loves children and would get a big kick out of this if she were awake," he says with a smile. "Don't worry about the girl. I'll coax her out of hiding and take her back to her own room in a bit. Just let her parents know you've found her and that she'll be back soon."
"She doesn't have parents," the nurse explains. "She's one of our long term patients that we take care of full time."
"Why is she here?" he wonders.
"She has a heart condition and she's waiting on surgery. A fairly simple surgery to fix a valve, but an expensive one. And her foster parents can't pay. Or more correctly, won't pay," the nurse says with a shrug. "I think they only have her for the monthly check. With her heart condition, she's in the category that brings in more money than a regular foster child. So essentially the foster parents are getting paid while the hospital looks after the child."
Emir is disturbed someone could do a child like that. He can't help but think of how his mother has always treated Suna, though. He wants to do better for this girl. He'll spend the evening thinking of something and let the nurses know in the morning.
But for right now, he just goes into the room, not giving the girl any indication he knows that she's there. He thinks of a way to bring her out into the open and smiles when the perfect idea comes to mind. He goes to the mini fridge and pulls out his sandwich from earlier that he never ate. He sits and starts to unwrap it, setting a place at his table for two.
"This whole sandwich is going to be way too big for me. Too bad I don't have anyone to share it with," he says outloud.
He has a hard time holding in his laughter when his little guest pops her little head from out of her hiding place.
"I like sandwiches," she says cheerfully, crawling out towards him. "You can share with me if you want."
"Oh my goodness!" he says, false shock in his voice. "Where on earth did you come from? Were you hiding over there?"
She just giggles and climbs into his lap.
"What's your name, Little One?"
Seeing her close up, he realizes she's younger than he thought. Maybe just 4 years old or so. She seems to be a little bit younger than Masal. So he makes sure to tear her part of the sandwich into small pieces so she won't choke.
"I'm Ayla,"she says around a bite of the sandwich.
"Çok memnun oldum, Ayla," he says. "Very nice to meet you. My name is Emir."
"Who's that?" Ayla whispers to him, pointing at Reyhan. "She's very pretty. Is she a princess?"
Emir just smiles at that.
"She's Reyhan. My wife. She got sick and the doctors here are making her better," he explains to her. "How about you? Are the doctors making you better too?"
Ayla shrugs and then shoves another piece of sandwich in her mouth. Emir is glad he made the pieces small. She has a surprisingly big appetite for such a little girl. When she has her fill, he takes her over to sit next to Reyhan.
"How about I tell you two a story."
Ayla nods sleepily and shoves her thumb in her mouth, making herself comfortable on his lap.
Emir realizes he doesn't really know any stories for children. But Ayla doesn't seem to care what he's saying. She just likes the sound of his voice. Pretty soon she's asleep. When the nurse sticks her head in a bit later, he lets her take the sleeping child back to her room. Surprisingly, the room feels a little emptier after she's gone.
But the girl is back the next night. And the night after that. By the third night, Emir realizes he's come to expect her. He actually anticipates her visit. On the second night, she had mentioned she liked to color, so he has all kinds of art supplies ready for the next time she comes. He's also bought a book of stories to read to her, his own knowledge of appropriate fairy tales pretty non existent.
"Emir abi," she asks on her next visit after climbing to her favorite spot on the bed next to Reyhan. The girl likes to cuddle with her.
"Yes, Ayla?" he says patiently. The girl tends to ask tons of questions, mostly about Reyhan. She's fascinated by her "princess" and never misses an opportunity to ask about her.
"When is Reyhan abla going to wake up? I can't wait to meet her."
The question makes Emir sad because it's a question he asks himself everyday and doesn't get an answer to. He would like nothing better for Reyhan to meet Ayla. Because that would mean that she's finally woken up.
"Soon, baby," he says, hoping his words to the little girl will come true. But the 72 hours the doctors said are almost over. And Reyhan isn't waking up. He's worried but tries to stay positive. He just has to believe she'll come back to him.
"She'll be awake soon," he assures her. And himself. Because he can't allow himself to believe anything else.
"Soon," Ayla says with a sleepy yawn. She places a gentle kiss on Reyhan's forehead before reaching out for Emir. She gives him a little kiss on his cheek before settling in and falling asleep on his shoulder.
Instantly his heart feels lighter. The pure, innocent faith of this child makes him believe anything is possible. He wonders to himself how he ever lived without people like her and Reyhan in his life before this.
"Emir bey," a nurse says quietly when she steps into the room. "I'll take Ayla back to her room now."
"Thanks," he nods, rising from his seat to hand the child over. He's surprised at how hard it is for him to let her go.
"We never talked about children, did we?" he asks Reyhan after they're alone again. "Maybe I'll be able to talk you into having a couple soon."
Funny how a guy who didn't ever plan on getting married is now longing for a family. It's all because of her. Reyhan has changed him more than he realized. He brushes the hair from off her forehead so he can fully see her face.
"We'll have girls that will look like you. Be sweet like you. But also a little mischievous like Ayla," he laughs. But her continued silence is deafening. It reminds him of how alone he is without her.
"Please wake up, Reyhan. I miss you."
He takes her hand and drifts off to sleep, letting himself dream of those babies he talked about. He doesn't notice when her hand squeezes his in response. He doesn't notice when her eyes start to twitch behind their lids, as if her mind is suddenly filled with dreams. Dreams of those same babies he's longing for.
He doesn't realize his greatest wish is about to come true.