This chapter, just as the next/last one are going to be a bit longer than usual so grab a snack, a drink and enjoy the happenings,
or split it in half and make it feel like two chapters! 😊
Don't forget to vote, if you liked it.🧡
There's going to be a lot of work with the last chapter and I also am going to be a bit busy next week, so I am hoping to upload it on Halloween weekend or any time after next week.
It is going to be so sad to write knowing that is the last time I can step into Avery's shoes. I got to love her so much.🤗
It was well over four in the morning when I got home from packing up some things at the Camp site.
For days, I was hoping to give Jared a phenomenal end-of-camp-mars treat with dinner, a new sexy lingerie... people would have been fine with me not being around to pack up, but that was all before I heard him say how he was banging another woman in his head while I was watching him proudly as he sang his heart out.
I couldn't help but feel defeated and more hurt than I can admit.
Should I show him how it made me feel? Should I be mad? Is it even something I need to question him about?
I was too tired to think, and so stepping into our bedroom, I walked straight to the bathroom for a quick shower, which turned out to be long, prolonging going to bed.
I knew Jared was probably sound asleep, but there was always a chance of him waking up and I had no idea how to act next to him. Of course I didn't want to look like a jealous little girl, but that is exactly how I felt.
He seemed asleep as I climbed into bed, and taking a deep breath I laid onto my back, watching the center of the baldachin on the ceiling, feeling so tired, yet wide awake.
"You've been there this long?" I heard Jared murmur as he turned his head towards me. "You could have stayed at the cabin there," he stated.
I sighed, this sentence of his doesn't really help.
"I should have," muttering, I turned to my side, facing away from him.
"Av... what I said... that was the stupidest thing what came out of my mouth in a long time," he stated with regret in his voice as I felt him leaning above me, soon his fingers ran down my cheek.
"You just say that because I heard it," I scoffed.
"No! It's true! I... I was high from the show, it was remarkable! And when Stevie pointed out that girl... yeah I remembered her, yes I did check her out, but that was like a minute during the whole show. I wasn't... she wasn't in my mind and I did not think of... having sex with her. I over-exaggerated when I answered Stevie, because... I don't know! I just... I wasn't even thinking, it was just a snap back. We used to talk like this just to... make a point, I don't even know why we think we need to..." he sighed, and I rolled my eyes as he tried to come up with a reason.
"I know you used to talk like this but that was before you were engaged and... why would you say something like that now? Even if you don't mean it, it feels shit to think you have no respect for me. It feels shit that you might have said comments like this for the whole tour making people around you think that you have no care of having a girlfriend who you supposedly love," I muttered, not looking up at him.
Grabbing my shoulder, he forced me onto my back looking down at me as he turned the lamp on. His look was sharp and serious.
"I LOVE you. Not just fucking supposedly. I care about you and I said I am fucking sorry for saying that terrible thing! It wasn't even true," he sighed, easing up as he placed his chin on top of my chest. "I am a big fucking idiot and you know that. Please, Av."
"I know you're an idiot, but that doesn't mean you can get away with things that hurt me like this just because you are a rockstar."
I fully believed that he didn't actually mean what he said about that girl and I knew it was the heat of the moment when he was still the all mighty who owns the world, but if we want to be equal I need to tame him, just a little bit.
He leaned his head onto my chest with a deep sigh, his hand caressing my side.
"I'm a dumb idiot," he muttered, being well aware of the fact that I give in the second he starts degrading himself.
This I only started to suspect the last couple times I was mad at him for some things. At first I felt sorry for him taking the blame and admitting it, but the more he did it, the less I felt it genuine and the more it seemed like a manipulation; an innocent one, but still. Because damn, I cannot stand when he puts on the puppy face and falls into self pity. I just have this strong need to always make him feel good, loved and cared about.
And even if he acts, I still cannot stand hearing him talk like this.
"You're not," I sighed, kissing into his hair. "Maybe a bit. But now let's sleep. I can't keep my eyes open anymore," I yawned.
"Good night, beautiful," he mumbled, kissing into my neck before he placed his head back onto my chest, cuddling up to me.
"Nighty night," whispering, I hugged him more to me with a long sigh. "Love you..."
As much as I hoped to spend more time together with Jared, he constantly had something to work on, prepare for or have a meting about. Was it surprising? No, it wasn't. And he tried his best to make time for us. He would try to clear up the weekends, so we could spend quality time together, which was much appreciated. I was fine with the weekends. It felt like he just had a normal job, and I busied myself by helping out Olivia or Sky during the weekdays.
We also went out a couple of times to eat or hang at the beach casually. We decided on no PDA at all for now but at this point the majority of the outlets mentioned us as a the "realest" couple out there anyway, which I tried not to interpret in the way which is we are real because Jared seems to be happy with an everyday human being not a six feet tall dream doll.
Shannon moved.
Almost right after Camp Mars, so there was no time for farewell party. Or any type of farewell for that matter. He said his good byes and was out the door before my first teardrop fell. Jared wasn't even around. Shannon said they will call and meet soon enough anyway. He was very distant from both of us and I really wished him moving away will eventually bring us all back closer.
"I know you'll make sure Jared is fine, but don't forget to take care of yourself as well," he smiled, holding my chin up as he caressed my cheek with his thumb, his look tired and distant.
"I will," I whispered before he pulled me into a hug.
He slowly pulled away, leaving a long kiss on my forehead and after a warm smile he was out the door and I took in a breath of relief which even surprised me.
I needed some time to shake the feeling off me. The feeling that Shannon's feelings towards me might not be as innocent as they used to be.
Three weeks passed by fast, and as September came around Jared was starting the Blade Runner promo tour in the US.
He would be gone for a few days, back for a day, and so on, but I refused to go with him. Not because I didn't want to but because of the fast pace he had to move in. He wouldn't have time for me, thus he would constantly want to make sure that I am fine and not bored. He didn't need that and I didn't need that.
Occasionally, I would meet up with Evelyn, who we got along pretty well with.
I also picked up an old hobby. Horseback riding. I drove down to a ranch three times a week and it was the most liberating thing I did for myself since living in California. I never had time to look outside of LA, and now I always felt refreshed after visiting the countryside.
Today was the same.
After getting back from a few hours of horseback riding, I took a long shower before settling with a leftover vegan pizza into the living room, watching some TV.
Being home alone was much more bearable when I was outside mostly. It didn't feel that much.
Jared was about to come home later that night from an evening photoshoot, so he probably will miss the Tonight Show he was in, but I am sure he didn't mind.
He didn't tell me anything about how the interview went and what he told about us, so I was more than anxious to figure it out with the rest of the viewers.
Just before the show started, I decided on cutting some fruits for myself but that didn't seem appealing enough so half way in I also made some popcorn and just five minutes into the interview I have finished the other pizza leftovers as well, hoping Jared had something to eat at the photoshoot.
The interview was amazing.
Jimmy and Jared had such a great chemistry it was entertaining to watch the silly jokes they told, the games they played and the interview felt more like peeking into old friends' conversations and banters.
I always felt proud and happy to see him talk in television.
Here he exceptionally looked happy and carefree and I couldn't make the smile disappear from my face.
Then at the very end came the part I was waiting for.
Jimmy sat just a bit more up, leaning toward Jared, who was readjusting his colorful Gucci jacket on top of his red Gucci shirt.
He looked like modern art.
"So, Jared, how long we've known each other? Years, right? Still we never talk personal."
"Personal?" he forced a smile, side eyeing the audience.
"Yeah, today I wanna go deep!" he stated firm and as Jared's eyes widened, looking at the audience in shock as they cheered and laughed.
"Look, I really don't know if we are there yet," laughing, Jared sat more up in his seat, the forced smile still on his face and I couldn't help but giggle on his act, pulling my legs up under me as my eyes glued to the screen.
"Well, there was one place I went deep; that was your Instagram from where I pulled out this adorable photo with all these "says it all" red emojis," Jimmy grinned, turning his tablet towards the cameras.
It was the one picture what was taken on our hiking trip with me sitting between his legs; his arms around me, his smiling profile shielding my face from the camera, only my legs and long red braids were seeable.
I remember that peaceful moment. The air, the breeze, the scent, the view.
Jared smiled as he looked at the picture, biting his nails.
"Yeah, it IS there," he smiled mysteriously, leaning back in his seat.
"Is it real?" Jimmy asked with more seriousness in his voice and everything went silent as Jared silently contemplated his answer but then just answered as simple as it could get.
"It is. The realest photo you'll ever see me in."
For a second Jimmy was taken aback then grinned wide, laying the tablet back onto the table.
"So you DO have someone else. Someone more special than me in your life," Jimmy sighed shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, man but it is time for me to come out of the closet." Jared raised an eyebrow and when people started to clap and cheer, he smiled towards them before he turned back to Jimmy who was excited for details.
"And she..." he had to wait until the clapping stopped. "And some people might recognize her, is that right?"
Jared just smiled shyly, seemingly not hundred percent sure if he wants to go into that.
"Right," he nodded. "She is Avery; a former employee."
Some people clapped and cheered, indicating they knew my identity.
"And here is another picture of her and you in London," Jimmy smiled showing the picture of us walking hand in hand into the Gallery. "I was lucky to meet her when you were here before. She was always the sweetest," he smiled. "Tell me how? Just how this all turned into the Cinderella story?" he asked excited and the audience was curious as well. "Some people came up with this title and I am loving it."
Jared just grinned.
"Well, alright, listen," he started, sitting more up, leaning his elbow onto the arm of the sofa. "Avery was working with Mars five plus years before she became my personal assistant. During these years we have built a strong bond. I trusted her with handling my life. She is a very honest, hard working and brilliant woman. When our professional relationship ended we were... going our separate ways quite a while, and in that while things changed. When we met again, we slowly realized that those changes were emotional and deep from both of our sides. Now we are each other's support system in many other ways. She is my rock and simply the woman who changed my views on many many things in life. She made me a better person, a better artist and I only am hopeful that our true, loyal fans can see that and will join this support system."
He was professional, deliberate and serious, especially with the last sentence where he talked straight to the camera and to the audience.
I had tears in my eyes as I took a deep breath. It was perfect.
"Man, you've grown up!" Jimmy shook his head amazed and Jared just grinned, opening his arms.
"I... I am still getting used to being an adult but so far so good," he laughed.
"Now with you off the market, I can imagine the millions of hearts you just broke."
Jared just waved shyly, chuckling.
"It's for the best. I might seem decent but it takes a lot to endure me and my lifestyle."
After the outro I sighed, feeling positive that this will help with our situation. I had hope that this will be enough to the public. That this will give us freedom, let us just be.
I was excited how the public will react to it, but I guess I'll just have to wait, since I am so good in staying away from social media and gossip sites, and I want to keep that way at least for some more time.
I couldn't wait Jared to get home so I can jump into his neck and kiss him all over and that is when a naughty thought stuck in my mind.
I went upstairs to put on the sexy lingerie I got weeks ago. I just never felt the courage to wear them or there wasn't really a "right time" to put it on, but I thought today could be it. Jared is off for the whole morning next day and I was really ready for some hot session.
The lingerie was deep red, all lace. It barely covered my breasts, had lace pieces flowing down from the bra, two straps connecting it to the panties, which were very tiny and also had some lace covering it up.
I put on some mascara and some blush before tying a black silk robe around me.
Just when I was walking down the stairs barefoot, I heard the signal of the gate opening and I smiled excited, deciding to wait him in the living room.
Turning on only the small lamp and the outside lights, I opened the door to the pool, standing in, letting the breeze play with the light robe and my hair, feeling a bit silly for this planned waiting but I hoped he will like it.
"Av!" I heard him shout.
"In the living room!" I called back, leaning to the door frame as he entered.
He was wearing sweats and a simple black t-shirt, but his hair was done flawless, just as his beard and face, his lips shining from gloss.
"What are you doing in the dark?" he smiled as he turned on the lights, the chandelier lighting up the area and I rolled my eyes.
"Well... waiting for you," I smiled walking up to him on my tiptoes. "The interview was amazing! You were brilliant!" I grinned, hugging his neck around.
"Thank you. I knew you'd love it," he smiled, hugging my waist around, packing my lips. "I have Sky on it to check on the reactions."
"Great," I sighed happily, caressing his hair which was nowhere near soft. It was hard and crunchy from all the products.
"Yeah, I desperately need a shower. And your makeup remover," he smiled. "The amount of concealer they had to use on me..." he shook his head.
"Oh, bruh huh," I pouted, my gaze lingering on his perfect lips.
I was grateful for photoshoots. They always trimmed his mustache back so perfectly.
"You look yummy, you smell yummy and you feel yummy," I smiled, kissing his lips between the words, gently pushing my body to his.
He hummed, grabbing my rear.
"Talking about all this yumminess.... Baby, I'd happily make you get rid off this robe, but first I really need to eat and take a shower," he sighed as he kissed my lips once again before he walked to the kitchen, slowly letting my hand go. "I'm starving!" He shouted back. "We had lunch break but I took a phone call instead, hoping I would only need to listen but I was the one talking most of the time!"
I bit my nail, hoping he doesn't think of having his pizza leftover.
After a few seconds, I heard him call out.
"Where are the pizzas?"
"I... kind of... ate them," I answered, biting my lip.
"Both?" he asked surprised as I sank down onto the small sofa by the window.
"Yeah..."
"The fruits?"
"Yeah..." I sighed feeling horrible as I heard him opening back the fridge knowing full well there's nothing else left.
"It's alright. I'll put together some pasta."
As he said that I literally cringed while he walked back to me, leaning to the doorframe, raising an eyebrow questioningly with a knowing smile.
"I... made that for my lunch," I muttered.
"But that was like a whole b..." he didn't finish the sentence as I lowered my head feeling tears falling into my lap.
"I'm so sorry, I thought you ate at the shoot," I cried out.
"Avery, flower..." he sighed, speaking up gently as he walked to me, sitting down too. "I was supposed to yes. But it's okay, You didn't know. I'll just order in something. Don't cry, come on, I'm happy you are finally eating," he smiled, kissing into my hair.
I just took a deep breath, nodding.
"How was the ranch today?" he asked as he opened the food app on his phone.
"It was great. I think Levi and me are getting closer each day," I answered, wiping my face.
"That sounds great," he smiled rubbing my thigh as he focused on his phone then peeked at me. "Do you want anything?" he grinned.
"Oh, God, no!" I snapped, shaking my head. "Which restaurant?" I asked curiously.
"Crossroads."
My mouth already watered just by thinking of their desserts.
"Maybe a brownie," I mumbled with pulled in neck.
After sending me a naughty smirk, he kissed my temple long before he placed the order, that smile never leaving his lips.
It was well after two in the morning by the time Jared finished eating and I shamelessly sent down the brownie. We decided to eat in bed upstairs, and although I felt kind of tired, I didn't want to waste away having the lingerie on.
"You didn't get any dessert," I stated as I walked out of the bathroom.
"I was hoping my dessert is still fresh," he licked his lips meaningfully.
"I... think it is..." I whispered opening the robe. "Let's see."
I straightened just a bit more up as I let the silk material pool around my legs.
Looking up I saw Jared sitting up on the bed, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
"Holy fuck," he breathed, crawling closer to the end of the bed.
His look empowered me and I smiled excited as he grabbed my hand to pull me onto the bed, pushing me onto my back.
I let him drink in my sight.
He was softly caressing my body, my hair, kissing different places from time to time before he jumped up.
"I need my camera,"
"What?" I laughed, holding my head up.
"Please, baby. I need to take photos of you," he suddenly jumped above me, pointing the camera down at me and surprisingly I didn't feel shy or intimidated.
I giggled as I tried to strike sexy, seductive poses, letting Jared click away.
I have never felt more beautiful in my whole life.
Also, it was the most fun foreplay I have ever experienced.
Twenty minutes later I was grabbing into the stripe of the camera for any support I could find as Jared pushed in deep and swiftly after tearing down the lingerie.
"Ah, Jay," I breathed, locking his body between my legs.
"I got you," he whispered into my ear as he drove his warm hand under my back, holding me tight as he moved slow and soft.
I smiled, hugging his neck around as he leaned his forehead onto mine, looking into my eyes.
"How does it feel?" he asked gently, moving so tenderly, it felt like his whole being is there to protect me, to caress me.
"So good," I breathed, and although I was planning a night of wild sex, this gentle lovemaking felt so right.
Sometimes I wondered that I wanted Jared to let himself go and bring all his kinks out on me, but maybe this is him letting himself go. Maybe he changed, maybe he doesn't need those kinks that often with me.
"Baby, more," I moaned, after some minutes of him not really going deep enough, not really pushing just hard enough.
He nodded hesitantly as he pushed in deeper and I breathed in, caressing him down to his rear, encouraging him to move faster.
The faster his movements became the more intense I felt his size starching me more.
Still he was holding back and I became way too impatient, so with a firm move I pushed him, indicating to move onto his back and so he did.
I took him all in, greedily moving on him like there is no tomorrow as he held my hips strong and finally he gave in, enjoying the ride.
I reached my high twice just minutes apart as sweat drops travelled down my temple and after another minute I suddenly felt like I cannot do this anymore.
"Baby, you're okay?" Jared smirked, pushing my wet hair back. "You beast."
I nodded, feeling my mouth dry as I leaned onto him shivering.
"Come on, baby girl," he mumbled with love as he pushed me onto my stomach and climbing over me he pushed his cock slowly deep in, pushing just a bit more as I whined out, grabbing the pillows.
He took his sweet time, biting and kissing my neck, but I was on the verge of passing out.
"Jared please," I breathed, pushing my ass more up.
"What do you want? Tell me," he mumbled into my ear.
"For... you to... finish," I moaned.
He stopped for a minute and I bit my lips, hoping he didn't take this the wrong way.
"Oh, so you got what you wanted, you're done?" he asked with a smile, slamming into me so hard I moved up the bed a couple inches and I growled.
I didn't answer just breathed deep.
"Then I'll take what I want too," he growled as he started to fuck me with no mercy, every time he slammed in, I felt the tip of his cock touching places only he has touched before and suddenly I felt like I'm gonna pee myself and just hoped he is close.
It took only a few minutes until he came.
He kept himself up on his shaking arms as he panted like a bull, still moving in and out, pulling a bit more out with each swing of his hips until he was fully gone, but I still felt his warmth, I still felt his presence.
Still moving his burning cock on my core I breathed deep, appreciating the small kisses he planted all over my back, his shaking stopping.
"I... I need to go..." I whined, pushing myself up, making him fall onto his side as I hurried towards the bathroom for the sweet release.
Walking back I sighed, laying back down onto my stomach, watching Jared smiling wide.
"You're good?"
"Yeah! Yes. It was... so good, but I am so tired, Jay," I mumbled, hugging the pillow around.
"I know," he whispered between kisses onto my back.
It took only a minute to start falling asleep when Jared's voice pulled me back.
"Av...?"
"Hmm?" I moaned.
"You ate the whole pantry today..." he started softly, kissing my neck. "Yesterday you had a whole box of chocolate ice-cream. It's not even your favorite..."
"If you're worried I am going to be fat, well I won't. I'm just... they are cravings, my period should come..." I mumbled.
"Your usual cravings are nothing like these," he smiled before he laid his leg across mine as he kissed my shoulder. "And... you definitely not the kind to pass out after fifteen minutes of sex."
I turned my head towards him as my heart started to beat faster once again; not even wanting to think of me might be pregnant, because any time I start to believe, the test always shows negative.
"What are you implying?" I asked carefully.
Gulping, he rested his head close to mine.
"That we might have a baby on board," he whispered with a soft smile, caressing my lower back.
"You know it's never that..." I sighed sadly. "And I'm only a couple days late which nowadays is normal and one of the reasons I probably won't be able to get pregnant."
"How many days late?" he asked.
"I don't know... eight?"
I honestly stopped counting so I just grabbed my phone from the nightstand and checked the app.
"Oh... twelve days late. That's the longest so far," I frowned looking back at him just to see a knowing smirk spreading on his face. "Jared don't..."
"Let's take a test. You're with baby. I swear!" he grinned sweetly, caressing the hair out of my forehead and I looked at him with some hope.
"We don't have any more tests."
"We grab one first thing tomorrow," he stated firm, hugging me more to him. "You don't have any... symptoms?"
I just shrugged hugging him back as I closed my eyes.
"I don't know; I'm trying not to think about that," I muttered exhausted.
"Well you better get used to the thought, because I swear this time it's different. You're different. Not just the eating but... you're different. I can tell."
"You're creeping me out," I chuckled weakly, not ready to open my eyes anymore.
"Sleep, flower," he whispered, kissing my forehead then pulled the sheets onto us, which was a delight to my wet body and before I could really think about what Jared just boldly said out loud and contemplate my last week, I was out.