I'd been ignoring the pit in my stomach for two weeks. I knew Harry could tell something was off, but just like he said, he never pushed me to tell him. He just reassured me whenever I looked upset that he was there but he always did it in small ways. It was looks, touches, gentle kisses on whatever part of my body was closest.
The pit didn't diminish, but it was definitely easier to ignore. It was Harry's birthday too, which gave me one more thing to focus on rather than what I was feeling.
Harry woke up particularly chipper. He'd had a smirk on his face from the second he woke up until he left for work. It was borderline shit-eating. But it was his birthday, so I let him go on acting however he was happy.
When he left for work, my work began. I conveniently had the day off. He tried to take the day off too so we could spend it together, but I'd insisted he go. Him staying home would mess up the plans I'd spent the last week pulling together.
We were surprising him tonight with a little party. I'd stolen Niall's phone number from his phone while he was asleep last week and texted him the next morning. He agreed to help immediately.
I'd asked Kira, Kimmy, and Dustin for help too. It didn't take much convincing. I'm pretty sure they loved him more than I did.
I took a quick shower, getting dressed and leaving the house by 2pm. When I got home around 4, I found Kira and Kimmy waiting for me on my couch. They went to the car and grabbed the bags I didn't have in my hands and we set everything up on the kitchen island.
I'd told Harry we were going out to dinner. Niall suggested the restaurant he works at because he knows how much Harry enjoys it. He'd even set up for our meal to be on the house. It was his present to Harry.
I'd told him to go home after he was done at the store to get nicer clothes and I would meet him there, keeping him out of my apartment. Kimmy and Kira were staying at my place all day and would let Niall in after I left. He offered to make and decorate a cake that would be waiting when Harry and I got back to my apartment.
Harry was done at 6pm, I had to leave by 6:45 so we could make it to our 8pm reservation. I was excited to surprise him. He woke up so happy and in such a good mood. I wanted to keep that going.
The girls and I made a plan for the decorations. They'd brought gifts for him as well, so we set up a little display on the living room coffee table. There weren't a lot of things since there were only a few of us, but I knew that wouldn't matter to him.
I was in the bathroom getting ready. Kira and Kimmy were moving about my apartment, music blasting as they worked. I'd appreciated them for helping me with this. I finished my makeup and slid into my dress. I'd chosen a red one tonight, grabbing the only pair of nude heels I owned. I know he liked when I dressed up
"Can someone come zip me up really quick?" I called out the door, Kira appearing a minute later.
"How are you feeling?" She pinched the bottom of my dress and slid the zipper up, smoothing the back down for me.
"Excited. It's the first birthday since we've been together. I just don't want to fuck it up, ya know?" I readjusted my hair on my shoulders. She took the necklace Harry bought me from the counter and put it around my neck to clasp it.
"He worships the ground you walk on. I've never seen someone look at another person how he looks at you. Anything you do is going to be something he loves. I don't think it's possible for you to fuck it up."
I took a deep breath, letting my eyes look over my reflection one more time. "Do I look okay?"
"You look stunning. I might have to steal this dress from you one night."
"It's all yours whenever you want it. It'll look better on you than it looks on me anyway." We looked at my dress together.
"Don't do that to yourself. You've got a date with a hot guy and it's time for you to go."
We walked to the kitchen together. Kimmy stopped what she was doing to look at me.
"I hope Harry is ready to celebrate this birthday. When he sees you in that dress, it'll be his last." I felt my cheeks turning pink. I know one of the things friends do is hype you up, but I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
I said goodbye to them and walked out the door. Niall would be the next one to come in, Dustin should be somewhere in between. His job was more demanding than the rest of ours and he'd be there sometimes right before we got back.
I texted Harry on my way to the car, letting him know I was on my way. I insisted that I drive today, just to be sure I was in control of the situation.
I pulled into his driveway and got out, walking toward the door. Kira sent me an updated picture. Everything was coming together. There were streamers and balloons hanging from my walls. there was a banner hanging in the kitchen. I even got a picture of Niall mixing cake batter. They looked like they were having fun.
Harry's front door opened before I even got there. I was too busy on my phone to even realize that he stood in the doorway watching me. When I finally looked I saw that he still had the same smirk he did this morning.
He'd dressed his thin frame in a suit, but added some flair with a light pink shirt. The same color pink that matched my nails the day he'd let me paint his.
"You look absolutely amazing. I think pink might be your color." He pulled me in and kissed my cheek gently.
"Don't talk to me about amazing until you look at yourself, darling. Red might be your color." I rolled my eyes.
"Are you ready to go, birthday boy? We've got reservations to make." He grabbed his wallet and keys from the small table in the entryway.
"Are you sure you want to drive? Because I kind of want to drive." I could hear the tone in his voice, he wanted to take control.
"Nope, I already told you that I was driving. You have a history of changing plans and I refuse to let you change these plans."
I heard him huff as he walked to the passenger side, adjusting the seat to give his legs more room.
His leg bounced as he looked out the window. I couldn't tell if he was anxious or excited. He didn't say much, mostly looked out the window or played with the hair near my shoulder.
"Do I at least get to know where we're going?" He finally spoke just as I was turning onto the street.
"Yes, in about two minutes when we park. Think you'll survive that long?" I looked over at him with a small smile, teasing his impatience.
"You are impossible." I pulled into the parking lot, laughing at him. I saw his face light up as I parked. I couldn't help but smile at his excitement. "How long have you been planning this? It takes forever to get a reservation." He slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, not taking his eyes off me.
"Well it helps when your boyfriend's best friend is the sous chef." I stopped my movements realizing I'd called him my boyfriend even though we'd never discussed any kind of labels.
"So I'm your boyfriend now?" The left side of his mouth pulled up, that damn dimple sinking into his cheek.
"I-"
"It's okay, darling. There's no need to freak. I've considered you my girlfriend since you walked out my front door that first night."
"Oh yeah? You're making all these big relationship decisions without me?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"And what if it hadn't gone well? What if I'd hated you?" I challenged how sure he was. It might have been his birthday, but I had to give him a little hell.
"Not possible. I would have done whatever to keep you around. You fascinate the hell out of me." He leaned over the console to kiss me but stopped just short of my lips. I could feel his breath move over my skin, leaving me breathless. "Come on, love. We've got a reservation to make."
He pulled away, leaving me to catch my breath, and got out of the car. I followed suite. He grabbed my hand as we walked to the door.
When we walked in, my mouth fell open. The walls were draped in dark blue, gold accenting them throughout. The room was filled with tables with elegant centerpieces. When we walked to the hostess stand, a woman took my name and led us to our table.
It was a secluded rounded booth. No one else was at any of the tables directly near us. He'd always chosen to sit at a booth whenever we would go out, so I made sure to stress that that's what we wanted. I suspected that Niall had something to do with our placement and empty tables surrounding us.
Menus were placed in front of us, as well as water and a preselected wine. Niall had thought of everything.
"So I'm assuming you're not going to let me pay for dinner?" I lowered my menu to see him peeking at me over his.
"It's your birthday, of course not. Today is about you. And besides, the place was my idea, but Niall pulled some strings for us. Don't worry about how it's being paid for. Just enjoy your first birthday present of the night." He dropped the menu to the table.
"First? As in there's more than this?" An eyebrow raised, asking for more answers.
"What make you think you're privy to that information?"
"Because it's my birthday? And you said it's about me, therefore, I should get whatever I want."
"And that's what you want? To know what else is in store?" He nodded. "Well it looks like you're going to be thoroughly disappointed." I put my menu back up, trying to make sense of the French names, but I made it work.
The waitress came over a few minutes later to introduce herself and ask if we were ready. Harry said yes immediately, looking to me for my answer. I nodded and our waitress took out her small notepad.
She looked to me first. I gave her my order, chicken fricassee. She looked to Harry, his order coming out quick. He went with ratatouille. She took our menus and left us alone again.
"Are you okay?" He was mid sip of his wine.
"Yeah, they just make really good ratatouille and I haven't had it in a while. Just excited is all."
I checked my phone under the table, seeing more pictures of the cake baking process, laughing to myself. When I looked up, Harry was watching me with squinted eyes.
"Can I help you, Harry?" He leaned back against the booth and looked at me before moving over to be closer to me, our legs touching. He slowly put his arm on the back of the booth behind me and took a deep breath.
"You're hiding something from me." I put my phone in my purse, not wanting to risk him seeing anything.
"What would make you think that?"
"It's the way you looked at your phone, glanced at me, and looked back to your phone with a smile. Now I know you. You only smile at your phone like that when it's Kira or Kimmy."
"Don't be ridiculous. I smile at my phone when it's you too." I looked up at him and rested my hand on his thigh and squeezing it lightly. I wasn't letting him ruin our surprise. His leg shifted under my hand, pressing harder into mine.
"I know what you're doing. I'll figure out what you're hiding, darling." He leaned closer to my ear. "You're not as sneaky as you think you are." I dragged my hand farther up his leg, watching his chest start to move more heavily. A distraction.
"I have no clue what you're talking about, Harry. I just wanted to have dinner with you to celebrate your birthday and Niall wanted to help out. That's all that's going on." I put on the best innocent voice I could, hoping he would drop it. But it seemed like he had a different idea.
"Two can play at this game, darling." His finger trailed down my arm slowly, leaving goosebumps in its track. I avoided eye contact but heard him breathe out a laugh. I hated that my body reacted in a way he could see. I'm about to start wearing long sleeves and jeans everywhere I go.
"You're right. Two can play at this game, darling." I moved my hand up higher, letting my pinky finger gently grace over the crotch of his pants, looking him in the eyes as I did it. His pupils dilated as I put more pressure on him, smirking as I felt him harden under my finger.
"Alright you two, hope you're hungry. The sous chef left special instructions for your meals." I pulled my hand away from Harry quickly and put it on the table as our waitress walked up to our table with a large tray in her hands filled with food. She propped the edge of the tray on the table and began setting food in front of us. Harry moved away slightly so we'd have room between us to eat but kept me within reach.
Set had brought now only what we'd order, but several different appetizers. Niall had gone all out for us. She brought more wine as well. We'd almost finished the first bottle. It was mostly Harry since I'd committed to driving.
She let us know she'd be back to check on us in a bit and left with the tray, leaving us in the tension we'd created. I kept my head down, feeling embarrassed that I was nearly groping Harry as she walked up, but he started laughing. His laughter earned him a dirty look.
"It's not funny, Harry. What if she saw?" I smacked his arm, feeling my cheeks heat.
"You should have seen your face! She didn't have to see your hands to know what they were doing. Your face basically told her!" His laugh was getting higher, but he was trying to reel it in.
"That was mortifying." I put my hands in my face. He pulled me into his side and leaned close.
"Maybe if you kept your hands to yourself then that wouldn't have happened." He'd left an opening. I straightened my back and moved about a foot away from him, taking my food with me.
"Well it is your birthday. If you'd prefer that I keep my hands to myself, then I can definitely do that for you, Harry." His eyes got wide as I took a sip of my wine and started to eat my food. He continued to stare. "You should eat before it gets cold. I've never had ratatouille, but I don't think it will be as good cold."
"I genuinely cannot tell if you're being serious."
"I guess we'll have to see. Now, are you planning on eating or are you just going to stare at me with your mouth open?" I looked at his food and back at him. He abruptly closed his mouth and picked up his utensils.
"Have you really never had ratatouille?" I shook my head, chewing the bite in my mouth. "Swallow and open up." I did as he said, ignoring the intentional innuendo he'd used. I let him put his food filled fork in my mouth, the different flavors glide over my taste buds.
"Holy shit." I couldn't even finish chewing without being completely in love with what he'd fed me.
"Yeah, I know." I watched him take a bite of his food and look absolutely enthralled with his meal. When I looked though, he'd only had two bites missing.
"Harry. Did you give me the first bite of your food?" He looked at me like I was crazy, me giving him the exact same look.
"Yeah? Why?" He looked completely confused.
"It's your birthday meal. You're supposed to take the first bite."
"Let's remember what you said when we got here. It's my birthday and today is about me, so I get what I want. I wanted you to have the first bite." He continued eating as if this wasn't a big deal. And maybe it wasn't, but the first bite of a meal is always the best.
"Well then you're getting the first bite of everything I eat on my birthday."
"And I'll accept that, but you have to actually tell me when it is first." My birthday wasn't something I enjoyed celebrating. I despised my mortality and the concept of aging more than most things. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
"August 18."
"Perfect. Plenty of time to plan something."
"Absolutely not." He turned his body more toward mine.
"So you're allowed to plan something for my birthday but I'm not allowed to plan something for yours? Seems a bit unfair, if you ask me." He moved a hand to his waist, raising his eyebrows and looking offended.
"I'm glad we've got that covered. But today is still about you so I don't know why we're talking about me."
"I like talking about you."
"You're cheesy."
"Shut it, you. Eat your chicken and smile."
We finished our meal. He made an effort to touch me, doing exactly what I had done to him earlier. But I was sticking to his suggestion of keeping my hands to myself. At least for now.
When I waitress came back to start to clear the table, she came with more of the staff. Niall had requested Harry be sang to even though it's not something they did. They learned "Happy Birthday" in French just for him. He looked so embarrassed but tried to cover it with a smile. They set a dessert in front of him with two spoons, one for each of us.
He took a bite and a moan shamelessly fell from his lips. Harry had a sweet tooth. Sweets were like crack to him.
Just as we finished, our waitress began to clear the table and reminded us that our bill was taken care of. She wished us a good night and we left. I texted Kira as we were leaving to let her know we'd be there in 20 minutes.
"Why'd you decide you wanted to stay at yours tonight?" He hadn't spoken the entire time we'd been in the car. I hadn't been prepared to answer questions and my mind freaked.
"I dunno. I haven't spent much time at home lately and wanted to be a little selfish for a night. That's all." I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye, accepting my answer.
"I still think you're up to something. I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something swirling around in that head of yours." I rolled my eyes, trying to keep him off the subject.
"I'm driving, what could I possibly be doing right now?" He took my right hand from the steering wheel and held it in his, letting them rest on the console between us.
"I'm not sure, but you obviously won't be telling me anytime soon so I think I'm just going to go with it."
"It's good that you're accepting something that's not happening."
He kept his hand in my, only letting go when we were parked in front of my apartment. I looked up at the window to see it was completely dark through the curtains. They were ready.
I know the whole concept of hiding in a dark room was really cheesy and potentially super lame, but it was right up Harry's alley.
I unlocked the front door, opening it to a completely dark apartment. I moved to let Harry walk passed me and toward the kitchen.
"Harry can you grab the light?" He flicked it on as he passed, not needing it to find his way to the kitchen but doing it anyway.
The second the the lights came on, he stopped in his tracks and a chorus of voices rang through the room. Everyone was here, standing behind the island, a cake bigger than expected sitting in the middle of it. I walked up behind him, wrapping my arm around his waist. He looked so shocked but a smile stretched across his face.
"Happy 25th birthday, baby." He looked down at me with the biggest smile I'd ever seen.
"You did all this? For me?" Niall was quick to speak up and take credit, which I'd gladly give him.
"Hey now, it wasn't all her!" He walked toward the island, looking at all the decorations
"He's right. They all helped."
"Wait a second, how the hell are you here?" He looked at Niall not knowing I had stolen his phone while he was sleeping.
"Charlie texted me, obviously. How much wine did you drink at dinner, mate?" He looked at me, questioning how.
"I might have broken into your phone while you were sleeping to find his number. Please don't be mad?"
"How could I be mad when this was your motive?"
"Alright, enough talking! Charlie's gotten him all night, it's our turn to celebrate with him!" Kira's voice perked up. "What do you want first, Harry? Cake or presents?"
His eyes widened, not expecting presents.
"You guys got me things?" He looked between all of our friends. I don't think he realized that they loved him as if he'd been part of our group the entire time.
"Of course we did. You're our friend." Dustin spoke up, letting him know what I'd been thinking. Harry looked at me and it looked like tears were welling in his eyes, but he blinked them away. I kissed his shoulder, letting him know that what Dustin had said was true.
"Well then I guess we can start there. I just finished eating my weight in ratatouille and sweets and adding more cake probably won't end well.
I pulled him to the living room where there was a small pool of wrapped presents of varying sizes. I sat him in the middle of the couch, everyone sitting around him with drink in hand. Niall set a drink in Harry's and told him to start drinking. Harry happily obliged. I'd lost count of how many drinks he'd had tonight, but he was handling himself well enough for me to not be concerned.
"Who wants to go first? I've already claimed last." I stood on the other side of the table from Harry, waiting for someone to present their gift first.
"He already got my gift so I'm off the table." Niall was in the kitchen, refilling his drink for the second time since we got home.
"Kimmy?"
"Yeah, we'll go first. Dustin and I went in on this one together, so it's from both of us."
I grabbed the large flat package that was leaning against the table and slid it in front of Harry, getting on my knees next to him to watch him unwrap it.
He was greeted with a box. I handed him scissors to cut the tape. He carefully slid the sharp edge over it and broke it open. He stood to look into it, pulling out a large frame with the back to him. When he turned it around, he saw the famous Abbey Road album picture. It was signed by all four Beatles.
"Holy shit, guys. This is fucking amazing." He stared at it in awe.
"Charlie may have let is slip that you've got album posters hanging on the walls of your record store. We went when you weren't there and noticed you didn't have this one. It's almost criminal."
"Thank you, guys. I'll hang it up first thing when I go in next. I might have to be selfish and keep it in the back by my desk though." He set it aside, admiring it for a few more seconds.
"Alright Kira, you're next." I picked up her box wrapped in a purple metallic paper and set it on his lap, retaking my place next to him.
He took the paper off, quicker this time. He opened the box it was in and pulled out a hollow sphere. It was had purple splotches all over it and a small hole in the top.
"What is it?"
"It's a birthstone wishing ball. There's 52 slips of paper in the box. Each week, you're supposed to write something down. It's usually hope or gratitude based. Then you roll it up and put it in. It's meant to symbolize the bigger picture. The instructions are on the inside too."
He picked up the small ball at the base and looked at the design closely.
"This is so cool, Kira. Thank you so much for this. I've already written my first note in my head." He put it down and gleamed up at her. "Last but not least. What have you got for me, Charlie?" I could see him holding back his excitement, not wanting me to see just how excited he actually was.
I put a box bigger than the last in his hands. I was anxious for this one. He took the wrapping paper off, seeing what it was before he had finished unwrapping it.
"You got me the moon?" He opened the box and carefully took it in his hands.
"I got you a moon lamp. It's for next to your bed. You're always complaining about there being too much light or not enough. I thought a moon would be a good idea.
He got up and walked to the nearest outlet. "Kimmy, will you get the light?" She leaned around the wall to turn it off for us. A few seconds passed while he plugged it in. When he turned it on, it lit up the room and left a pattern on the walls. I hadn't been expecting that.
"Oh my god, Charlie." He stared at the walls in awe before his eyes landed on me. "I don't even know what to say."
"Well I'm hoping you'll say you like it so I can stop stressing out about it."
"I love it, Charlie. I'm going to love anything you give me." I heard a snort come from behind me.
"Told you so." Kira's voice was quiet enough for just Kimmy and I to hear. Kimmy joined in with her chuckling, knowing they've both said the exact same thing to me.
"Shut it you two." Harry came back to the couch, kissing me and whispering a thank you against my lips.
The rest of the night was fun. We ate the cake Niall had made. It was beautifully decorated. It was a pastel yellow and had flowers iced on. It tasted amazing. Harry seemed to love it just as much as the food we'd eaten earlier in the night.
He'd also struck true to his statement about getting what he wanted because it was his birthday. He asked to play Egyptian Rat Screw again. I'd taught Kira, Kimmy, and Dustin when we were in school. Niall was new to the game and listened closely to the rules. He, however, was doomed to be terrible. I'm not sure if it was the alcohol he'd consumed throughout the night or if he was just naturally bad, but he was always the first one out.
We'd started a new round after I tapped Kimmy out. After me, she was the best. She had always been my competition when we played as a group.
But now that she'd been tapped out, it was just Harry and me left.
"Feels familiar, doesn't it, darling?" He was remembering the first time I'd brought him home to meet my family. He'd beat me, barely.
"Yeah it does. I've been going easy on you though. An extra birthday present for you."
"Don't." He smirked at me, just like he had in my living room.
We played a few more rounds and, unsurprisingly, I won. I redeemed myself from my loss, leaving him with a special birthday disappointment.
Not long after, everyone left and leaving us alone. Silence consumed us as we sat on the couch together. I was curled up in his arms and was feeling more than comfortable.
"Thank you for today. I think this might be my favorite birthday yet." I turned my head to look up at him.
"I'm glad you had a good day, baby."
"You've never called me baby before. I think I like it." I felt my heart flutter.
"You call me darling more often than not, so I figured I should get a name too." He yawned and stretched as he did. "I'll take that as a sign that you're ready for bed?"
"Almost. I'm not quite ready to go to bed, but I do want to lay down with you. As much as I love you in that dress, I know you've been itching to get out of it since you put it on."
"You know me so well." I pulled myself up on the couch and dragged him with me. He walked over to where his moon lamp was plugged in and picked it up. "Are you bringing it to bed with you?"
"I'd like to, yeah." He held it in one hand, keeping mine locked in his other.
We went to my bedroom where he plugged it in immediately and turned it on. He crossed back to where the light switch is and turned off the main light, letting the small lamp fill up the room and cast its shadows on the walls.
I went to the bathroom to take my makeup off and when I walked back into the bedroom Harry was facing away from me and staring at the pictures on the dresser again. His shirt was untucked, but that's as far as he'd gotten while undressing.
"Why do you stare at them every time you stay the night? I don't mind, obviously, but I am curious." I walked to stand next to him, letting the memories behind the days they were taken run through my head,
"Because I wonder who you were then. I wonder what would have happened if we had met when we were teenagers. I try to figure it out but I don't think I ever will." His fingers went to the buttons of his shirt and started to undo them. His voice sounded different. It was low, as if he was embarrassed to admit his thoughts out loud.
"I think we'd be where we are now."
"Really?" His fingers paused to give me his attention.
"Yeah."
"How do you know?" His emerald eyes bored into mine.
"I just do." I didn't believe in soulmates before I met Harry. I didn't know if I really believed in them after meeting Harry. But I firmly believed now, knowing him and knowing us together, this was meant to happen. I was exactly where I needed to be and I knew that no matter when we'd met, we would find ourselves here in the end.
"Will you unzip me?" I turned my back to him and moved my hair away from my back so he could get to it. His fingers grasped the top of my dress and slowly pulled the zipper down, letting a knuckle graze the skin on my back. His touch left a trail of goosebumps down my back.
He let the zipper go and pushed the dress off of my shoulders. I let it fall to the floor and pool around my bare feet.
"Hey Charlie?"
"Yeah, Harry?" I stepped out of my dress and picked it up to hang it up in the closet.
"I'm in love with you." I had the dress halfway on a hanger as the words fell from his lips, stopping my movements. The nights he'd whispered it to me ran their way through my head. I looked at him, his eyes burned into me. His voice was just as sure tonight as it had been the nights I'd heard him say it when he thought I was asleep.
I didn't say anything as I walked to him and picked up his hands in mine.
"I know, Harry." His eyebrows pulled together, not knowing he'd accidentally made this confession weeks ago.
"How?" Pretend confusion crossed through his eyes before moving to embarrassment, but he didn't need it.
"I heard you on New Year's Eve. When we were going to sleep. And a couple weeks ago."
"I'm sorry. You weren't meant to hear. I didn't want you to feel rushed, I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I've been trying not to tell you for weeks now, I just had to. I'm sorry, Charlie." His eyes fell from my face and focused on his feet. His hands started fidgeting in mine. I reached up to move his hair out of his face, letting me see his eyes, my favorite thing to see.
"Why are you apologizing, Harry? You should never be sorry for loving someone. And besides, I love you too." His eyes flashed to mine, a hundred emotions running across them at a million miles an hour.
"I've been waiting weeks to hear you say that. Say it again?" He closed his eyes, waiting for my voice.
"I love you, Harry." A smile started to grow.
"One more time?" I chuckled at his request, but gave him what he wanted. He opened his eyes quickly.
"I am hopelessly in love with you, Harry." His eyes watched my lips as they moved, savoring how they shaped as I spoke. "It feels so good to finally be able to tell you." I looked over at the clock. It was 11:58. "You've got two more minutes left, birthday boy. Any final birthday requests?"
"I do, actually." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as he possibly could, my back arching into him. He brought his lips to mine and they embraced my whole self. He pulled back just enough to disconnect our lips.
"Are you gonna tell me or make me guess?"
"I want you, Charlie. I just want you."