Song - Mercy by Shawn Mendes
Status - Summary song. (This song works so well for this chapter and this whole book!!)
I follow Charlie on to the Ferry and we find our school's designated area. We sit down and Toby, Carter, and Blake quickly follow. I notice Aiden is nowhere to be seen and I look around for him. My heart shatters into a million pieces when I see him sit beside a smirking Tiffany. She practically sits on top of him and I have to physically keep the tears from falling.
Charlie notices this and grabs my hand in a comforting motion. I smile at her but eye my phone sitting in my pocket. I felt like I needed to talk to someone, and the person who I so desperately wanted to talk to was back in Pearlacre at the school on the other side of town.
I loved Charlie more than anything and she was literally my rock but she had been so happy lately and Dale always seemed to understand exactly what I was feeling and what to say to cheer me up. I look at the time and see it's nearly 12:00, I knew Dale had a free period at 12:00 and planned to call him the second I could. The thought cheered me up slightly. Just 15 more minutes.
"I'm sorry Em, he's acting like a dick," Charlie whispers in my ear so no one else hears. I smile at her gratefully, I really was lucky to have Charlie in my life.
"Alright guys, I need to mark the roll again. Listen for your names," Miss Wilson smiles as she begins reading out names. I listen for my name and call out when it's called. Eventually, she finishes reading out the roll and everyone starts moving around and mingling with the other schools.
I'm about to go and find a quiet spot so I can call Dale when Toby yells out my name excitedly. I look for him and see him with a mop of familiar, fiery red hair.
"Amy," I yell excitedly as she pulls me into a hug; "are you guys on the trip as well?"
"Yeah!! The boys have gone to buy me food and I literally ran into Toby, is Aiden and the others here as well?" Amy grins.
"Yeah, they're somewhere," I attempt to joke, my heart dropping a little at the reminder that Aiden was with Tiffany.
"What's it like dating the bad boy?" Amy winks cheekily.
"Aiden? We're not dating," I laugh awkwardly.
"WHAT?! STILL?!" Amy yells. A few people turn to look at her because of the interruption but she sticks her finger up at them and they turn back around.
"Yeah...?" I draw questionably.
"I was sure you guys would be together by now," Amy says, evident shock in her words. She looks at Toby questionably and I see him mumble some words under his breath but I can see that neither us get what he says.
"Alright then...it's been so long!! I miss having you at the tracks but I 100% understand why you don't go anymore because of that fucker Bates," Amy begins awkwardly but finishes in her usual confident excitement.
"I miss you too!! I actually promised my best friend I'd call him but I'll find you later?" I offer, desperate to vent to Dale.
"Sure!! See ya babe," Amy blows me a kiss. I laugh and walk away, leaving her with Toby and looking for a quiet spot.
I search the boat for somewhere quiet but find everywhere is crowded by mingling students. I decide to try the back of the boat and find myself walking outside and onto the deck. I sit on one of the seats and check my phone. Someone mustn't hate me because thankfully, I had service. I quickly dial Dale's number and wait for it to begin ringing. He picks up on the second ring.
"Hey baby," Dale greets.
"Dale," I breath, relief instantly flooding me.
"What the fuck did he do this time?" Dale quickly replies, obviously hearing from my tone that Aiden had everything to do with this call.
"We sat together on the bus and he kept talking about all the girls he plans on screwing from the other schools. Then we arrive and get on the ferry to go to the island and he left us to sit with Tiffany and they were almost dry humping," I vent, "then it turns out that my ex-boyfriend Justin is here and so is Amy and her friends from the track."
"Wait wait, virginity Justin?" Dale questions.
"Yup," I groan.
"Awe baby," Dale says sympathetically. "It sucks that Justin is there but you gotta stop thinking about Aiden and his girl talk, that boy likes you and he probably just doesn't know how to deal with his feelings."
"So he screws every other girl here?" I point out.
"He's an asshole babe but just give it time, if by the end of the trip he actually hooks up with all these chicks then I'll be shocked," Dale explains.
"You really think he won't end up doing it?" I question hopefully.
"I do, why would he want any of these other girls when you're so much hotter?" Dale says and I can hear his grin.
"You haven't even seen these other girls!!" I giggle, already feeling a lot better.
"I don't need to, I've seen you naked babe and nothing can beat that," Dale flirts and I can just hear his wink.
I laugh at my best friend, "Where would I be without you."
"Probably naked in an alleyway somewhere," Dale grins.
I laugh at him; "I love you."
"I love you too pretty, call me tonight before you go to sleep," Dale suggests.
"Yeah," I accept, hanging up the phone.
I smile to myself, I was so lucky to have him. I stay seated preparing myself to go back inside. It really was a beautiful view from here. I could only just see the mainland and I loved the way it made me feel so little. I know that's a weird thing to say but lately, my life had been so hectic so it was nice to just be another human for a minute.
I watch as the mainland completely fades from view. I loved the way that being surrounded by nothing but water just reminded me that this world was so huge and compared to it, my world was so tiny. My problem seemed so small when the world looked this big.
I had lost my sister too young, and my father had walked out on us ages ago. In no way was I saying that my problems was of lesser importance, but in a twisted way it gave me some comfort knowing that there were people out there who had been through their own shit, I wasn't alone in my emotions but I was so small in the grand scheme of things.
I get broken out of my thoughts by a presence sitting beside me, I turn to the intruder and I'm surprised to see Aiden.
We sit in silence for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. I would have gotten up and left but I enjoyed being in Aiden's presence too much.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Aiden says after a minute. I look at him in surprise and he takes this as his queue to continue.
"I was a dick. I didn't even make sure you were okay after seeing your ex-boyfriend," Aiden finishes.
I smile at him; "if this is your way of asking me if i'm okay now, I am."
Aiden grins back, "so that's the lucky guy that took your virginity?"
Aiden POV:
"Ha. Ha. Very funny," she laughs sarcastically. She looks so cute when she's being sarcastic.
"Hey I'm just saying," I grin.
"I saw you talking to Tiffany, what's happening there?" Em asks. As soon as she says the words I can see that she regrets it but I was extremely happy to hear them. Was there any chance she could be jealous? Was there any chance she could return my feelings?
"Nothing at all is happening there, I regret talking to her at all. I thought that maybe she had become more tolerable but I was dead wrong, now she won't leave me the hell alone!!" I quickly reply, hoping she sees that I don't have any interest in Tiffany because my mind is constantly occupied with thoughts of her.
She nods, turning back to face to the ocean. Once again I was unable to read her.
🎵🎤🎶
"You know, I've told you everything about Katherine but I know barely anything about your ex," I attempt to joke. I had to know, was there still anything between them? It surely looked like it this morning when they saw each other. My stomach drops at the thought and I find myself jealous of this wimp I've never even met before.
"What do you want to know?" She smiles back. I fucking love her smile.
"Well for one, do you still love him?" I ask, looking at her. She moves a little away from me and it's only then when I realize how intense my stare must have been. I had never wanted anything more than her to say no.
"No," is her immediate response, my heart instantly begins beating faster and a newfound hope sits in my stomach, she continues. "He was always more into the relationship than I was because the relationship happened just as Maddi was dying and I had more important things to deal with. I mean I think I loved him at one point but if I'm being honest, I think I stopped loving him a long time before I broke up with him to move to Pearlacre. He's just a really amazing guy and I guess I liked the familiarity and comfort of him." She finishes, looking into the horizon.
Her words confuse me, she said that she didn't have any feelings for him but the way she talked about him sounded different. I have to remind myself of the quote she once told me about wanting something that was all-consuming and dangerous, I knew that by the way she talked, her relationship with Justin was neither of those things.
Whether I believed her or not, there was still something that had been bothering me from the first time I laid eyes on him. "Do you think he's still in love with you?"
Em looks at me and a pained expression passes through her beautiful blue eyes that looked eerily like the ocean we were traveling on. "Honestly Aiden, I think I still mean as much to him as Katherine means to you." She finally manages.
Her words shock me, what did Katherine have to do with this? What did she mean by that? Does she think I'm still in love with Katherine? I remember telling her a little while ago that I still felt something for Katherine, but I never said I was still in love with her because I'm not. I admit there are some unresolved feelings and emotions that I still haven't figured out, but I knew that I wasn't in love with her. I hadn't been for years.
"He seems nice," I manage after a few silent minutes.
"He is, he's one of the nicest guys in the world, he actually kind of reminds me of a mix between Carter and Luke." Em replies thoughtfully.
"In what ways?" I ask curiously, not knowing if I wanted to hear the answer.
"He's the football captain so he's sort of the golden boy of my old school like Luke but he is just the biggest gentleman ever like Carter. I was always his first priority like Carter would treat his girlfriend and his biggest accomplishment like Luke would treat his. He's just the sweetest guy ever and honestly, I wish I still felt something romantic for him," Em smiles sadly.
I feel like my heart drowns in my chest. She wished she still loved him. She wished she was with the familiar kind guy. I guess I was wrong when I said she wanted an all-consuming love. That meant that she didn't want me.
The pained feeling doesn't fade away. It almost seemed like every time she opened a door, she closed it on my face. I know she didn't mean to, in fact, she had no knowledge of her actions considering I was too much of a wuss to just tell her how I felt. I had never felt this way about anyone before and every time she slammed the door in my face it just hurt more and more. The only way to stop this hurt would be to just suck it up and tell her how I felt but I was too scared to. I knew that if she rejected me, then it would hurt even more, and I wasn't ready to lose her just yet.
Neither of us say anything, both lost in our own thoughts.
"Here you guys are," I hear suddenly. Em and I both turn around quickly, only to see Charlie and Toby.
"What's up?" Em says.
"Nothing, I just couldn't find you guys and I need to talk to you," Charlie replies.
Em instantly stands up and follows her back to the room, not even glancing at me as she leaves. Toby notices this and looks at me curiously before taking the now empty spot beside me where Em previously sat.
"What the hell just happened?" Toby questions.
"She's still in love with Justin." I chuckle darkly.
"I call bullshit," Toby replies, rolling his eyes.
"What?" I question him.
"Did she actually say that she is still in love with Justin or did you just come up with that yourself?" Toby points out.
"She didn't have to say it, she all but did," I reply harsher than intended. Toby ignores my tone.
"What did she say exactly?" Toby continues his interrogation.
"What the fuck man?" I respond narrowing my eyes at him.
"Just answer the question," Toby demands.
"She said that Justin was a mix between Carter and Luke and that she wished she still felt something for him after gushing about how fucking amazing he is," I answer after a minute.
Toby rolls his eyes, "Dude. She said she WISHED she still felt something for him, with would suggest that she didn't. The guy is still madly in love with her but the feeling isn't returned, I'm sure of it."
"Then why would she gush about him?" I point out.
"Because they're still friends? You can love and be proud of your friends Aiden." Toby shoots back.
I stay silent for a few minutes. He was right, you can just gush about your friends but I couldn't help but wonder if I was only agreeing with him because I wanted his words to be true.
"So you think I could still have a chance?" I ask quietly, half hoping he doesn't hear me.
"If you stop being pissy then I definitely do," Toby replies straight away.
_______________
Awwwwww, poor Aiden. The next chapter will be in Em's POV.
So the reason he felt like maybe Em still loves Justin is because he's vulnerable when it comes to her. When writing Aiden's POV I tried to show a softer side of him. It's so important to give your characters personalities and by showing Aiden being insecure about Em and Justin illuminates the idea that Aiden is a confident, sexy bad boy but when it comes to her he's insecure.
She is the Bad Boy's Exception after all.
Let the trip begin...
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- Jade xx