It took a good night’s sleep to conclude that my oh so sinister revenge plan might have been a little too sinister and that I would be truly labeled insane if I went through with it.
Never mind that, I’d be playing with fire. I felt the need to remind myself that I didn’t know Jesse personally; I didn’t know how he would retaliate against me if I acted out of my revulsion for him. When it came to him, I didn’t really know what to expect. All I knew was that with what I planned, it wouldn’t be persistence and flirtations I would receive, but maybe even violence.
And having a guy follow me—no matter how annoying—certainly wasn’t a good enough reason for being sent to prison for assault with a deadly weapon.
“Lady Danger,” mused Katrina. “Look at that color. Your mom’s walking on the wild side, Carson.”
I glanced up from my phone to look at my best friend, who was smearing a little of my mother’s—nearly—neon red lipstick across her mouth.
She’d shown up later in the day after I had long since woken up, maybe an hour or two before the party. And although she didn’t mention it, I had a strong feeling she only came by to try to convince me into accompanying her.
I wasn’t really surprised, though. Katrina was probably as socially inept as I was, however the difference between the two of us was that Katrina at least made an effort in expanding her circle of friends: attending parties, being the first to make a move when it came to grouping up in class, smiling when she made eye contact with someone. She made other friends aside from me. A square of friends, she had—or maybe even an octagon. Whereas mine was just a line; me on one side and her on the other.
Pressing my lips together, I looked back down to my phone. “Well, at least now we know where I get it from.”
Katrina laughed as she covered the tube of lipstick and set it back down on my dresser. And then, my earlier suspicious were proved true when she turned around and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want go? Your brother would probably understand.”
He actually probably wouldn’t. He’d be outraged that I thought a party more important than him or outraged that I attended one without inviting him.
Reminding myself that visiting him had just been a false excuse, I slightly shook my head. “He’s the spawn of Satan, but I miss him. Maybe if there’s time afterward, though.”
Defeated, Katrina sighed and moved toward the bed where I was sitting, looping her arm through her bag that she had set down on my mattress when she showed up. “Well, hopefully there will be time.” And then, as she was making her way to my door, “Because who knows? Your best friend might get drunk and maybe someone might whisk her away to do—”
“Katrina Marie Lockhart, you will do no such thing.”
She turned back to me, and in a hushed whisper, said, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
“So help me, if you do anything unholy I will dye your hair pink before yearbook pictures and call it a day.”
She laughed again, a breathy one that made it seem as if she were suddenly nervous, and ran one hand along the tips of her hair. “You’ll do it. I know you will.” I smiled, glancing down at my phone as she opened the door and began to walk through it. When I heard her voice again though, I looked back up. “Look, I don’t know if he even has any part in this, but if Jesse’s the reason why you’re not going…”
“He might or might not have a part in it.”
“Just don’t let him bother you, Carson.”
In what way I was letting him bother me was the question at hand. My actions spoke for themselves: I didn’t want him around me. The idiot just didn’t know how to take the hint. As for my recent outbursts against him, they were only defense mechanisms. I didn’t want him around me. And when he was, I acted out on it because of that very reason.
Giving Katrina a smile, I lifted my hand and gave her an upraised thumb. “Duly noted, Yoda.”
With one last chuckle, Katrina closed the door, leaving me alone.
It was when silence settled over my room, and I heard the rum of her mom’s car – that Katrina had mentioned beforehand that she had borrowed – that I realized that I was missing a great opportunity.
My aforementioned sinister plan couldn’t exactly be accomplished smoothly while at school. And, hypothetically speaking, if I were to go through with it, attending that party would probably be the best place I could get it done. Jesse would be there. And so would his friends. And a lot of other people.
Biting my lip, I set my phone down and glanced out my window.
After a moment of hard thinking, I realized that there was no reason for me to lash out against Jesse. No logical one, at least. Aside from annoying me, he’s done nothing to me. But some part of me wanted to punish him for moving on from Lauren so fast. I knew by now, and damn well, that he has a reputation for treating other girls just as he did her, but to see it in action instead of hearing it in rumors drove me mad. Who gave him the right to treat people that way?
And if not me, then would anyone put an end to his wayward ways?
I remained where I was on my bed, trying to find the pros to staying in and playing Chess Titans on my laptop or Bubble Shooter on my phone, but then was overruled by the cons.
Breathing out a heavy sigh, I swung my legs off my bed, hesitating only once as I stood before my closet. Reaching out, I pulled out a fresh pair of jeans and slipped on a flannel button up shirt over the tank top I was already wearing.
Swiping my keys off my desk, as well as the small tube sitting on my dresser, I opened my bedroom door and twirled the key chains over my index finger as I descended the stairs. I did a double take through the archway of the living room as I passed it, sparing my father a quick glance; he was asleep, having been watching an old episode of Seinfeld with a bag of chips dangling from his fingers. I smiled at the sight and continued on to the door, opening it to discover that my mother’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway yet.
With no parental supervision, I found myself in the clear to hop in my car, start the engine, and drive about seventy on the highway to the beach.
The speed I was going got me there in fifteen minutes, and when I shut off the car, I sat in silence in my seat as I watched different people my age running about the shore. Some of them had shed their clothing and ran around in bathing suits, while others were dressed as I was, having no intention to swim.
I sat back and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, trying to force myself to remember why I even convinced myself to go through with this. And when I mustered enough courage, I exhaled loudly and opened the door.
The chatter immediately amplified once I was out in the open. After locking my car, I walked on to find that there were more people in attendance than I thought, and I paused, suddenly ready to turn around and head back home because there was no one in the crowd I recognized.
I wondered if Katrina had already shown up. I ended up leaving half an hour after she had departed from my house, but even though she had the head start, I had drove on the expressway. I knew my best friend well enough to know that she didn’t like pushing the vehicles she drove passed thirty miles an hour.
Glancing toward the cluster of cars parked, I contemplated waiting for her mother’s silver Prius to pull in, but decided against it.
I reminded myself that I was here for Jesse. And some part of my pride, or my better sense of mind, didn’t want Katrina knowing that. Besides, as far as she knew, I was visiting my brother.
For a while as I wandered the beach, I started to feel the effects of social awkwardness and the nagging feeling that I was so despicably out of place. I looked like a police officer, with how I was walking by and staring blank faced at the crowd as they smiled and laughed and made use of the makeshift volleyball court.
I decided to move away from the heart of the party. And more to the stomach or the spleen of it, which turned out to be where the water hitting the shore was louder than the music. It was a vision: how the water stretched on so far. And for a long moment, I actually thought it was peaceful—until I spotted boxer trunks and pieces of bathing suits lying at my feet. I thought nothing of it until I started hearing scandalous noises out in the water.
I made a disgruntled noise in the back of my throat and turned around with a grimace, walking away from the shore and moving toward where the line of cars were parked. There wasn’t any sign of Katrina’s Prius yet, or even Jesse’s Camaro. In fact, there wasn’t any sign of Jesse at all—as far as I knew.
I idly wondered if he showed up at all, but dismissed my train of thought. He definitely had to be here. Aside from the fact that he said he’d be here, I’m sure a guy like him wouldn’t pass up a party with skinny girls and skimpy bathing suits. In fact, I had half the mind to suspect he was off in the shadows with one, maybe even in the water where—
“Why hello there, doll face.”
I looked behind me to find Jesse, standing before me with bright blue eyes, disheveled hair, and a rumpled T-shirt.
And at the sight of him, my plans for the night took a sharp needle and popped like a balloon. All over before it even started.
I breathed out through my nose. “What do you want?”
“What do I want?” Jesse said with a sly smirk. “A lot of things—especially from you. But for right now, I think I’ll settle for an apology.”
A scoff escaped through my lips before I could stop it. “You’ll get an apology for kneeing you when I’m lying in my coffin.”
Jesse’s eyebrows raised a fraction. “So morbid.”
I saved myself from replying by rolling my eyes and walking away. I hadn’t a clue where I was headed though. I didn’t feel up to returning to the large crowd of people and standing idly to the side like a scolding parent. I considered cutting my losses and leaving. After all, I couldn’t go through with what I had in mind earlier now that Jesse had seen me.
Turning toward the cars though, I soon discovered that I wasn’t alone.
Jesse must have thought the conversation wasn’t over because there he was, walking beside me.
“You’re really stubborn,” he said, his eyes on me. “I mean, I know I’ve told you that before, but God. You are really stubborn.”
“Stubborn, how?” I turned to him, coming to a stop. “Stubborn in how I don’t moon over you and fall to your feet when you talk to me?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”
“Well, I probably act that way because I find you annoying.” I then mimicked his tone of voice. “I mean, I know I’ve told you that before, but God. You are really annoying.”
The reaction in him that I was going for wasn’t achieved when he smiled lightly. “Probably annoying because you’re not used to the attention. You’ll come around, though—they all eventually do.”
I stared at him incredulously, about to open my mouth to tell him off, but then, deciding I didn’t want to waste any more time talking to him, I shot him one last look and began walking away again, quickening my pace.
“No, wait!” He chuckled. “I didn’t mean it! Well, not entirely, anyway.”
“Yeah, I know.” I stopped again to glance at him behind me. “You want to know why you annoy me so much? Because girls like Lauren, “came around.” And look what you did to her.”
Jesse pursed his lips. “That, uh…that actually—technically, kind of wasn’t my fault.”
“What? Why not?”
“She kind of overreacted. I didn’t really…do anything with her. She just ended up boring me.”
“That—that was what I—you—” I clenched my fist and turned back around. “I’m so done with this.”
I could hear Jesse laughing, and I was torn between reprimanding him for making fun of something that wasn’t at all funny and punching him in the face.
But before I could come to a decision, my eyes immediately caught sight of a shock of mahogany colored hair.
And then very wide, very surprised looking eyes.
“You made it,” Katrina said as she approached me. I inwardly groaned at the sight of her—not out of anything derogatory, but because she caught me in the worst possible way I could have imagined: standing on a moonlit beach with Jesse. “I thought—what happened? I thought you were visiting your brother.”
“I was, but he canceled.” God. I felt like such a raging bitch for lying to her. I wasn’t supposed to lie to her. Best friends didn’t lie to each other.
“Oh.” Katrina spared one curious glance at Jesse and then put on a smile for me. “Uh, how long have you been here? If I’d known you would have come, I would have showed sooner.”
“I was here since earlier, but…” I glanced back at Jesse. He was listening to the conversation in silence, his calculating eyes darting between Katrina and me. “I was just about to leave, though,” I went on. “Not really my scene.”
Katrina frowned, obviously wanting to convince me otherwise. “Alright, well…I guess I’ll just see you at school, then, okay?”
“Yeah.”
I hesitated before I could cue an exit. I didn’t want to leave Katrina and Jesse alone.
But then, to my rescue, a cute looking girl in a frilly skirt came up behind Katrina. She tapped her on the shoulder, and judging by the open expression on Katrina’s face, I only had to assume that they were friends. The girl asked if Katrina wanted to join a game of volleyball, and like the social butterfly my best friend was, she accepted the invitation without a moment’s pause.
When they disappeared together, I turned back to Jesse. Our eyes met, but I only shot him a complacent smirk before I turned for my car.
But before I could get out of earshot, I heard him say, “Goodnight, Carson.”
I almost stopped to look back at him, but resisted. I’d had enough of him for one night.
When I reached my car though, I reached into my pocket for my keys but ended up pulling out the tube of lipstick I’d brought with me instead. I’d almost forgotten it was there, and I examined it, turning it over to look at the label.
I stood that way for a while, deliberating whether or not I should do what I came for.
I’d long since put my sinister plan aside, but I knew for sure now that Jesse was here. He’d seen me, which made the whole endeavor complicated, but not impossible now that he was under the impression that I’d left. I’d just have to be stealthier.
But could I really push myself to go through with it? After all, it was insane. Just the thought of it was, really.
Swallowing the tightness gathering around in my throat, I turned back around to the beach, maneuvering around the small amount of cars I parked near.
In the shadows, I looked on time to see Jesse approach a group of people. There wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary for a while. He simply joined in on the conversation they were having like he’d been standing there the entire time. And I thought for a second that I was just being brash. That there was nothing to get back at him for. But then Jesse broke away from the conversation to look at a girl to his side.
She was petite, and looked to be drinking a can of coke instead of beer. But Jesse wrapped an arm around her waist anyway, and when she looked up at him and returned his charming smile, all I could see was him and Lauren in class.
Another girl.
I clicked my tongue and cursed under my breath.
Turning back around, it took a good fifteen minutes to find the car.
And then when I climbed atop the hood, I tried not to focus on how being with Jesse was a mutual thing—that girls knew what they were getting themselves into when they were with him—and tried to focus more on the fact that he used them like he had a right to. Like he was free to. Like he was so full of himself that he would never expect someone to try to put an end to his ways.
He broke hearts. So as retaliation, I made the decision—a stupid decision—to break his.
And there was one solid way I could do that.
I smeared Lady Danger on his windshield, and then scraped my keys along his door.