'GOT A HOLE IN MY SOUL GROWING DEEPER AND DEEPER'
5 Y E A R S L A T E R
"Promise me you'll be back," Lauren said to her friend CJ as they hugged outside of the airport. "No one goes on holiday alone."
"I just need some rest after the Carrington deal," CJ assured her friend as she pulled away from her. "It's a week, one week and I'll be back. You get the flat to yourself, have a bloody party, do whatever you want. Just answer my facetime when I call you from the pool," she laughed as she hitched her handbag up on her shoulder.
Lauren chuckled at her friend's words, "Have fun. Bring me something pretty back."
CJ nodded as she pulled Lauren into another hug, "I'll be back before you know it. All this fuss will be over nothing."
XOXOX
When CJ arrived at the hotel, she took her bag from the taxi before heading to the check in desk. Being in Spain felt weird for the young woman, so much had changed since she last entered this country. She needed a holiday and her trusted her assistant to book her somewhere nice, Spain was nice but it filled her with memories of Max.
Standing at the reception desk, she pulled her sunglasses down as she checked in before she was given her key and directions to the room. CJ pushed her sunglasses up, her brown hair falling back into place as she took her small case and headed towards the lift which would take her to the floor to find her room.
She didn't see many people, only a few people who were headed to their rooms as she stayed in the corridor. The room she'd been given was on the top floor and when she entered she was delighted to find she had a pool view room which looked out at the beach further afield.
A quick change into a pastel floaty dress with a pair of tan sandals and CJ headed out of the hotel room to catch some sun and enjoy the time she had here. She walked outside once she got to the bottom floor, her lips curled into a smile and her sunglasses shielding her from the sun which was blinding.
Sitting at a table, a barman took her order as she sat on the veranda and looked out at the views. She enjoyed the drinks being brought to her, relaxing in the sun and forgetting the rest of the world for the moments she sat there.
CJ couldn't help but watch the people that were at the hotel, there was a few families here but it was mostly adults, young adults in groups. She did not feel alone, she was glad she did not need to entertain nor impress anyone.
Her eyes cast over people before she noticed a face she didn't think she would. Laying on a deck chair by the pool was Victoria. CJ stood for a moment, she wanted to check it was definitely her. Returning to her seat, she drank her drink as she watched over her.
As time passed, a man joined Victoria but he didn't seem to be someone CJ recognised which threw her into doubt as to whether it was actually the person she thought it was. An hour later, CJ noticed someone approach the couple, the man who had joined them was dressed in smart shorts and a white tee shirt. She breathed in heavily as she watched, when the man turned she felt her heart skip a beat as she stared at the man she had left all those years ago.
Of course, she was sure he did not see her. She was a random person in sunglasses drinking in the day, no one important. She doubted he would even remember who she was. Instinctively her hands reached into her handbag before pulling out her bunch of keys, her hand tightly holding the blue angel wings keyring then looking back up but they were gone.
Her eyes widened before panic set in, she needed to get out of there. Only then did it set in what she was doing. She was in the same hotel as Max and his sister. She shoved her keys into her bag before taking it and her phone and heading away from the bar.
CJ walked quickly as she decided going back to her room was the best thing to do, there she could properly decide her next room. The alcohol that she had consumed seemed to be catching her up though, the sudden movement and being upright making her feel tipsy. Her fingers were tight on her handbag but not her phone as she felt it fall from her hands as she walked down the slight incline. Her phone slide down before stopping at someone's feet, she watched as it all happened in slow motion, like it was a cruel twist of fate for the young woman.
Stopping in her tracks, she swallowed hard as Max crouched down to pick up her mobile. "I think this might belong to you," he spoke as he offered the phone to the brunette who was standing there like some kind of star stuck idiot. She went to take it from him, but the screen lit up before his eyes glanced down at it. Closing her eyes she heard him speak, "At least it still works."
She reopened her eyes, not that he could see it before she noticed him looking back at the screen. "Where did you get this picture?" His voice sounded like it had the last time she saw him, he still had the same accent, the same depth, everything perfect. Now though, he looked a little confused as he looked at the girl before him. "Who are you?"
CJ reached for her phone, pulling it from her hands as she looked down at the phone. Of course she was a sentimental idiot, she'd never wanted to forget the fun she'd had with the Verstappen duo, so she'd found a picture of the three of them from social media but her phone had cut her out leaving it only of Max and Victoria.
"How did you get the picture?" He asked again as Victoria stepped forward.
"Calm down," she told her brother. "What is the picture?"
Max turned to her, his hands moving as he spoke to her. "She has a picture of us, as her background."
Victoria looked at CJ, she didn't know who it was but she certainly felt threatened by the stalker like woman before them who was yet to speak.
"In my defence," CJ finally spoke, her voice coming out with the Scottish accent mixed with her own Dutch accent that had happened to her over the years. "My mother did take the photo," CJ said as she removed her sunglasses and looked at the duo in front of her. "I did used to be in the photo too."
Max stared at her, it was like time stopped for him. He could hear sounds but it was like he was in a bubble, like someone had shot a gun next to his ear. "You-" he didn't know what to say, he was struggling to speak as he took in the woman before him. He hoped this day would come, he had thought of all the things he wanted to say to CJ but now she was here, he was lost for words. "I-"
"CJ!" Victoria was not so gobsmacked, she threw her arms around the woman who was her childhood best friend as CJ returned the gesture. "Oh my God, we needed know where you was. Where have you been? Are you okay? You look so good."
The words all tumbled from the mouth of Victoria quickly as CJ let out a small laugh, "I am good thank you."
"Well, I am glad you are okay," Max's tone was spiteful as Victoria pulled away from the brunette and looked at her brother who was not as happy to see the woman. "You just up and left, you sent that one letter and that was it. No one knew where you were, no one would tell me a single thing. I didn't even know what country you were in!" His voice was rising with every word he spoke and that put CJ on edge. "How could you just, go?"
CJ looked at him, her hands were shaking as she crossed them defensively over her chest. "I was never going to be allowed to stay," she spoke quietly to the man who would always have her heart.
"You should have come to me," he told her as he stepped closer to her, Victoria just watched as his brother finally let out all his feelings on the woman who had broken his heart. "We could have done it together, we could have made it work."
"Stop it, Max," she told him as she shook her head. "You were 18, your career was taking off, you had just made it. You're telling me you would have wanted to have a baby. You would have wanted to be parents, me and you?"
Max raised his hands in frustration, "Yes, no, I don't know. It wasn't your decision to make, not without me."
"Guys-" Victoria tried to interject but MAx cut her off with his hand which he put out in front of his sister.
"I didn't get a choice," CJ snapped. "Your father made sure of that."
"Everyone gets a choice," he reminded the woman. "You took the easy way out."
CJ's eyes widened, she sucked in a breath before she stepped back from him. She hoped that she would see him again one day but she did not imagine it would be like that. Uncrossing her arms, she reached into the handbag, she unzipped the pocket before she pulled out the only ultrasound picture she'd received the day she went for the procedure. Looking at it a final time, she nodded before she took Max's hand and placed it on his palm then closed his fingers on the edge. "I wish all the happiness in the world for you, Max," she was polite as she managed a smile. She gave a small nod to Victoria before she walked through the middle of the siblings, she had to get to her room before she turned around and blurted everything out angrily.
As she walked away, she could hear Victoria talking to Max before shouting CJ's name.
CJ did not turn around.