*TROY*
I sat on the cold grass as my body shivered. It wasn't very cold this morning but colder than California. I didn't know how much weight I had lost until I got to New York. I had to bundle myself more than usual in order for this cold won't hurt my bones. It was like sharp knives going through my skin.
"Ba Ba Ba," Rowen held Maxwell close to him but he kept moving his little arms up and down.
I stared at Espian's grave as it felt different being here. I wasn't sad. I was more calm and relaxed. I smiled at his grave as I knew he was at peace. He will always have a place in my heart but now Rowen has most of it. I love this man. He's so attentive to me that I couldn't have asked for a better angel.
Maxwell became fussy. I think he was hungry or pooped but we just changed him in the car so I think he's hungry. "Aww, is my little man hungry?" I turned as I squeezed his cheeks. "We should go," I got up then Rowen.
I glanced one more time at his grave and smiled. "Until we meet again," a strong gust of wind surrounded us.
We ran to the car. Rowen put Maxwell into his car seat as he drove off, he grabbed my hand. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel better than I have in days. I think coming here help me realize that life is worth living and you're one of the reasons to fight," with my words his eyes lit up. I saw tiny orbs floating in his eyes. He lifted my hand and gently pecked it.
"I love you so so much," I loved with he told me those words. It was a cure for how this poison was inside me. He was the vaccine I needed to keep living and my two little angels, one sitting in the car seat behind me and the other one warm at home.
We said goodbye to James and Virginia. They gave us a gift card to Target and funny thing is that we gave them the exact same gift. We laughed as I said goodbye to baby Espian. I lifted him out of the playpen and kissed his chubby cheeks. He immediately slobbered all over my nose. "I love you too," I put him back down as he giggled at me.
"Don't be a stranger, all three of you are welcomed anytime," James told us as we hugged him.
"Please come visit us often, us old people get lonely sometimes," Virginia's sweet voice came closer as she hugged us as well.
They kissed and said goodbye to Maxwell. Rowen put our luggage in the car as he drove to the rental place and we got an Uber to the airport.
We finally landed and as the trip was more tiring than expected.
I held Maxwell who was asleep in my arms. Rowen opened the door as I made my way into our room. It was night and all I wanted to do was get comfortable. I was beyond tired but relaxed that we went to New York.
I put Maxwell in bed as I laid next to him. Rowen was in the kitchen doing something.
I caressed Maxwell's cherub cheeks. "Hey little buddy, take care of daddy if I don't make it ok. He will need you more than anything in this world," I leaned in and kissed his cheeks. I couldn't help but let my tears come down.
"You're not going anywhere," I heard Rowen stern voice. I could tell he was mad that I said that but I couldn't help it. He put the bottle on the dresser as he huffed and walked out of the room. I closed my eyes and got up.
I grabbed the baby monitor as I walked to the lounge room. Rowen was sitting on the couch staring aimlessly at the wall. I took a deep breath as I walked in front of him. He didn't look at me. I grabbed his chin and turned his gaze at me. "Hey, that was a conversation between Maxwell and me, it just came out, of course, I don't want to die but we have to be real. There is a possibility that I might not make it."
He stood quietly as his eyes got glossy. I leaned in and kissed his heart-shaped lips. "I love you so much and it hurts for me to think like this but I'm trying ok," I saw a curve on his lips.
"I know you are but my heart breaks every time I see you. I'm always on edge trying to see how you feel and how you wake up," his words stuttered as I sat on top of him. He held me by the waist and kissed my bottom lip.
"I'm terrified of raising our son alone. He already calls you Da Da, how do I tell him you died when he's older," I placed my finger over his lips.
"Let's not think of that. I'm sorry for bringing it up. I promised you I would fight and that's what I'm going to do," I kissed him more passionate and harder. I was turned on but I still couldn't get an erection and that worried me.
"It's ok babe, it's still too soon. We'll make love pretty soon," His words gave me life again. I got up and grabbed his hand. We went into the room as we got comfortable and immediately fell asleep.
*ROWEN*
It's New Year's Eve and I couldn't be happier. Troy was smiling and I noticed his skin was glowing. He actually was eating more and that gave me hope. I finally found where Rose lived and we are going to give her a surprise visit before we go to my dad's. Troy dressed Maxwell in a little suit and a bow tie. He looked too cute. Troy and I wore matching black suits. I grabbed my phone off the drawer. "Selfie time," I pulled Troy closer as he held Maxwell in the middle of us. We both smiled and it was the perfect picture.
"I need you to send me that picture so I could send it to James," He pecked me on the lips as I got Maxwell's baby bag.
"Alright let's go, babe."
Troy sat in the backseat with Maxwell as he feeds him a bottle. I put Rose's address on the GPS and she didn't live too far from us.
We finally reached her house which looked pretty old and not maintained. The yellow paint was chipped as the roof looked like it was rotting. There were weeds growing in the front yard and an old car parked in the driveway.
"It's now or never right," I turned to Troy who had a smile on his face. Maxwell was happily sucking on his pacifier. "Ready to see momma," I saw Maxwell smile.
"I think he is," Troy said as he got off the car.
He took Maxwell out of the car seat as we made our way to the front door. The door handle was rusty as I gently knocked on her door. I heard footsteps coming as the door opened. Rose's hand went over her mouth as she began to cry.
"Oh my god, Maxwell," she choked as Troy passed Maxwell to Rose.
"My baby boy. I've missed you so much."
She kissed his cheeks as her glossy eyes gazed at us. "Come in," she directed us inside. We walked in as she closed the door. The house inside was nice and neat, very well maintained. I got a whiff of food as my stomach began to growl. "I wasn't expecting company," when I noticed she was wearing a cooking apron.
"I'm sorry to stop by unannounced but we wanted you to see Maxwell and that you're always welcomed to be part of his life," I smiled at her as her lips stuttered.
"Really?" She choked as she kissed Maxwell in his cheeks.
"Yes, really."
"And I wanted to give you this," I took out an envelope and handed it to her, she grabbed it with her free hand as she knew exactly what it was.
"I can't take this. The clinic already paid me," she said shocked and surprised.
"You deserve it," Troy added as she smiled.
Then she stared at Troy with curiosity. "Are you ok? You look thinner from the last time I saw you," she asked as Troy's eyes folded.
"Ohh I'm sorry, it's none of my business," she added feeling embarrassed.
Troy told her what happened as she consoled Troy. We met her mom who was ill in bed but a very lovely woman. We also met her brother who was bright and very well mannered. We finally said goodbye.
"You can call me whenever you want to visit Maxwell," I told her.
"Or when you need a babysitter. I'll be more than happy to help," she joked.
"I'll keep that in mind," I winked at her as she kissed Maxwell goodbye.
"I love you, my baby boy. Have a happy New Year," she kissed his forehead as we said Happy New Year. We left and headed to my dad's house.
We knocked on the door and my dad happily opened. His hands went straight to Maxwell as he gave him a bunch of kisses. "Come in son," he walked in as we put our coats in the hanger. Troy has been quiet since we left Rose's house.
My dad disappeared into the house when I grabbed Troy's hand. "Babe, be honest, how are you feeling good?"
He broke down as he hugged me. He buried his face in my chest and it fucken broke my heart.
"I'm feeling nauseous and my body hurts. I'm not sure what's going on?" his words stuttered and choked at the same time. My eyes got watery.
"Do you want to go to the emergency room?"
"No!" He yelled.
"I don't want to ruin this night. If I don't feel any better I'll just go lay down in one of the rooms."
He lifted his head as his tears pierced a hole in my heart. I leaned in and pecked his lips. "Please, if you get any worst, tell me," he finally smiled and that made me feel better.
"I forgot something in the car, go with my dad. I'll be there in a bit," he kissed me one more time and disappeared where my dad walked too.
I walked to the car and opened the glove compartment. I took out a small black box and opened it. I smiled as I gazed into the diamond ring I'm going to give him.
I put the box inside my jacket as I locked the car. I saw Ivy running towards me as she held her red dress. Her eyes were full of terror. "Rowen, it's Troy. He walked into the lounge room and immediately fainted, he is not waking up," my heart dropped as I ran passed her like a lightning bolt. I heard Maxwell crying as it leads to the lounge room. Troy was on the floor by the couch as my dad was holding Maxwell and touching Troy's neck. "He's alive but his pulse is very weak," my dad said as I grabbed my phone. I couldn't fucken dial 911.
"I already called," Ivy said behind me.
I sat close to Troy as I lifted his head. My heart broke into a million pieces as I began to cry. Maxwell cried and it hurt to hear him cry as well. I saw Ivy's heels as she rubbed my back.
"Please, don't leave me. I don't think I can take it," I buried my face into his neck as I cried. My tears hurt like daggers splitting my heart open. I heard the sirens from afar.
You promised me. You better not leave me.