They lost in the Inter High finals.
The Karasuno girls found themselves up against Niiyama in the finals, and it was grueling five set match. The girls gave it their all and exhausted themselves, pulling every trick they knew out of the book, but it still wasn't enough. Niiyama had some powerful rookies, and Kinomi had improved significantly since Mikaela had played her last.
It was weird. Last year, when they'd lost to Niiyama, Mikaela had been angry about it for weeks afterwards. Now, she was content to shake hands and congratulate them on a good game. Funny how things changed.
As captain, Mikaela couldn't practice with the boys an awful lot. She was too busy trying to come up with new strategies to teach and new things to work on. Between helping everyone else on the team improve and trying to get stronger herself, she had her hands full. Luckily, she had a whole arsenal of strategies and plays from her time as manager that she was more than eager to dive into.
One late Wednesday night, Mikaela was curled up in her basement, watching a movie. Nothing out of the ordinary. What was strange was the amount of texts on her phone when she checked it after the movie was done.
"What the..." Mikaela muttered, scrolling through her texts.
There were texts from twelve different people, and Mikaela's heart hammered in her chest. The last time she'd gotten this many texts, it was because that video went viral. There were texts from Yamaguchi, Atsumu, Hinata, Hiba, and a few other girls on the team. Nervously, Mikaela clicked on the oldest text- Somi.
Somi Yoruzio (19:24): Congrats Captain! This is awesome!
Somi Yoruzio (19:24): *link attached*
Mikaela frowned and clicked on the link.
Volleyball Monthly?...
Suddenly very excited, Mikaela flipped through the pages of the magazine until she got to the top players. To her delight, Kageyama was titled the number one setter in Japan. It was expected, of course. Mikaela flipped past that and to the girls' section, and when her eyes scanned the page, she screamed. "Mom! Mom!"
Mikaela leaped off her couch and dashed up the stairs, rounding the corner and throwing herself into her mom's office. "I'm a bit busy, Kaisha," her mother said, looking up from her computer.
"I'm number one!" Mikaela cried out, holding out her phone. She was grinning ear to ear. "I'm the number one ace in Japan!"
She didn't even wait for her mother's response- she needed to tell someone who would be just as excited as she was. Her fingers hovered over her contacts- who to call? Her thumb brushed over Atsumu's number, then Kageyama's. Mikaela steeled herself and called her boyfriend.
She was number one. In all of Japan. Japan.
It felt like she was on cloud nine.
-------
Mikaela-chan;
I got the go ahead. You can play in university. The board has been informed of such.
Stay in touch.
Hujita Yahanaba
Mikaela screamed.
"Mom!"
"Now what?!"
"I can play in university!"
Okay, now she really was on cloud nine.
-------
All the third years had to take their main rounds of exams soon afterwards. Admittedly, Mikaela put a lot more time into volleyball than studying, and her mother wasn't going to stand for it. Monomi put her onto a more rigorous study schedule, and although she complained about it, it definitely helped bring her grades up. Mikaela made it through exams with high marks, as did Tsukishima, Yachi, and Yamaguchi.
Kageyama didn't even bother. Neither did Hinata.
In a way, Mikaela was jealous. Kageyama had gotten offers from five different universities on potential scholarships, and it looked like he was going to turn all of them down and jump right into competitive volleyball. He'd been in touch with Fuki more and more often. Hinata hadn't said much about his plans, but on one movie night that they had, he mentioned something about beach volleyball.
She didn't have that sort of luxury. She couldn't assume that she couldn't count on volleyball in the future.
"Damn it," Mikaela muttered, pinching her pencil between her fingers.
"How's the studying going?" her mother called from her office.
She sighed, flipping one of her pages of notes lazily. "Fantastic," she called back, pulling out her phone. There was a text from Atsumu, and she grinned, about to reply.
"You better not be on your phone!"
I swear, she's psychic. Mikaela rolled her eyes. "I'm not!" she yelled, typing out a reply.
Her mother didn't reply, and no sooner had Mikaela finished typing out her response when her phone buzzed. A new notification popped in- an email. Frowning, she clicked on it and narrowed her eyes at the sender.
Kyoto University?
Her eyes furiously scanned the document, reading the printing as best she could. Suddenly, she leaned back in her chair and shrieked. "Mom!"
She could hear her mother's footsteps as she came to kitchen, and she glared at Mikaela. "I thought I said no phone-"
"Kyoto University!" Mikaela cried with a wild grin, holding her phone out to her mom. "They sent me an email! They- they want to talk about me playing volleyball for them next year!"
The way her mother's face transitioned from mad to surprised to excited was something Mikaela would keep imprinted in her head for a long time. "Kaisha!" she said with a grin, taking the phone from her and reading over the email. "Oh, that's wonderful! A scholarship offer! Your main round exam marks were great, so they should specify how well you'd need to do on their entrance exams- ah, wonderful, you can get that easily."
"Mom, explain," Mikaela pleaded.
"You still need to pass Kyoto's entrance exams," she explained patiently, flipping through something on Mikaela's phone. "They state the marks you need to maintain your place on the volleyball team. It's lower than your primary exams, so you'd be fine- if this was where you wanted to go."
She shrugged. "I have no idea where I want to go."
Monomi grabbed a chair and pulled up next to her at the table, flipping open Mikaela's laptop. "Let's look then, shall we? This offer is going to be the first of many."
Studying forgotten, she and her mom huddled side by side, looking up university programs for at least another hour.
-------
Things with Atsumu had been going well. A bit... too well.
It wasn't like it was bad- not in any way. They kept it easy. They didn't talk about the hard stuff, like how it was getting increasingly hard to get together with Spring High qualifiers coming up for Mikaela and exams coming up for Atsumu. Like how it had been over five months- almost six- of them being together and they'd been avoiding dangerous topics. She was sure he did it just to make sure she was comfortable, but it was only a matter of time before he said something.
It was a Tuesday night. Mikaela had hopped on a train right after practice and met Atsumu in a small city halfway between Karasuno and Akita. It was their first time seeing each other in just over a week. They went out for dinner, which was fun, and Atsumu suggested a walk afterwards.
"It's nice out," Mikaela said with a hum, pulling her jacket tighter around her shoulders. "Sounds good."
"Sweet. You warm enough?"
She nodded. "Yeah, thanks."
"Shall we?" Atsumu asked, extending his hand. He smirked at her. She rolled her eyes and took his hand, and he guided her towards the park that was next to the restaurant.
They made casual conversation for a bit, mostly about volleyball. Mikaela vented a bit about her team: trying to get them motivated for Spring High was a bit difficult after their loss at the Inter High. Atsumu talked about his university team. The Akita Men's Volleyball team was one of the top in Japan, and they'd been crushing most of their practice matches. He'd managed to take the starting setter spot, which was impressive for his first year.
Atsumu joked around about some of his team's antics and she laughed. "When's your next game?"
"This weekend," he said, shrugging. "I'd ask ya to come, but it's an away game."
"I'll still come," Mikaela objected.
Atsumu winced. "Well, it's another two hours away from Akita. It'd be a four hour drive for you each way."
"Oh." She sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's a bit too far."
"I can see you next weekend, though," he added, and she nodded along. They didn't get to see each other often, so they always tried to plan their next date when they got together. It made it a lot easier to smooth out the details over text or phone. "Hey, Mikaela," he said, stopping in the middle of the path. "Can we talk about something?"
Mikaela paused, turning around to face him. "Sure," she said quietly, her anxiety starting to spike.
Atsumu huffed, his smirk falling from his face. "Look, Princess," he said, jamming his hands in his pockets. "We've been at this for- what, almost six months? Somethin' like that?" Mikaela nodded slowly. "And I know we don't see each other much, but it's fun. At least, I'm having fun."
She frowned. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"No! No," he objected, shaking his head. "The opposite, actually. I want to get more serious."
Her breath hitched. "More serious?" Mikaela repeated.
He nodded. "We said when we started this that we'd stay casual, but... there's been a couple points where I think we could've gone past just casual," Atsumu said, smirking slightly. "You know. I know the distance sucks, but we could make it work."
Mikaela blushed. "Well, I know, technically, it's been almost six months, but..." she trailed off. "We don't see each other all that much."
"Nah, I get that. Maybe that's why it took me so long to get around to this conversation." Atsumu frowned, his eyes focused on something to the side so that he didn't have to look at her. "And I really like you, Princess. A lot. And..." He sighed. Finally, he looked back her way. "Ah, hell, I'll throw everythin' on the table. I love you, Mikaela. Have for a while now."
Mikaela was frozen. She didn't know what to say.
"So what's stopping you?" Atsumu pushed. "What's stopping us? I think this is going well."
"I, uh..." she trailed off. "Atsumu, I... I don't know what to say. This is going well, and I'm having a lot of fun, but..."
"But what?" He was starting to look more frustrated, but Mikaela was still at a loss for what to do or say. "What's so bad about getting more serious? If we both love each other, and we're having fun, and..." Atsumu let his sentence drop and shrugged. "Is it me? Am I not good enough for you?"
Her jaw dropped. "No! Of course you are, you're amazing! Atsumu, you've treated me so well, and..." Mikaela was struggling to find her words. "This has been great," she said honestly. "And I love being with you."
Atsumu's eyes darkened. He didn't miss her choice of words- what she was avoiding saying. "Then say it," he said quietly.
Mikaela went quiet.
"So what is it, then?" Atsumu snapped. "What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? Because you keep saying this is going well, and you keep saying you're having fun, but that's it? We can't go past that?"
"You're kind of backing me into a corner here!" Mikaela snapped back.
He glared at her, and she felt something in her stomach curl up. "It's not like it's a hard question!" he retorted. "Either you love me or you don't, it's as easy as that!" He swung his hand out in a wide gesture of frustration. "God, Mikaela, it's like you-"
She flinched.
Atsumu froze up immediately and took a step back. Mikaela had instinctively brought her arms up in front of her face and pulled back on herself, ducking her head. Once she realized what she had done, she straightened up, dropping her hands down to her sides. She hadn't even meant to flinch like that- he hadn't been trying to hit her, she'd just reacted badly.
When she finally met his eyes, she stopped. Mikaela could see the regret written all over his face; she'd never seen him look this upset.
"Mikaela?" he said quietly, worry written all over his face.
She blinked, trying to collect herself. "Sorry," Mikaela mumbled, crossing her arms and hunching her shoulders. "I'm fine, I didn't mean-"
"I'm so sorry," Atsumu blurted out, stumbling backwards. "I didn't mean- I would never-"
"I know!" she interrupted. "I know, I'm sorry, I-"
This time, he cut her off. "Don't apologize. You shouldn't be... You shouldn't be apologizing. Don't. It's my fault. I'm sorry, Mikaela, I'm so sorry." He looked around, like he was worried someone was going to sneak up on them. Mikaela was trying to stop the tears from gathering in her eyes. "It's not your fault at all," he said quietly, finally meeting her eyes. "Has someone... Someone ever..."
She knew what he was trying to ask. Mikaela bit her lip and nodded. "...my mom."
Atsumu hissed through his teeth and raked a hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at her. "Christ, Princess, I... I had no idea, I'm so sorry. I would never. Never." He met her eyes again, his gaze fierce. "I would never do anything like that to you."
"I know," she whispered.
He nodded, more like he was trying to assure himself than her. "Can I... Can I hug you?" Atsumu asked softly. "Is that okay?"
Mikaela nodded. He opened his arms and she stepped into them, and she sunk into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held tight, squeezing her so hard that it felt like he'd never let her go. "I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. He didn't say it again, but Mikaela could tell he was chanting it in his head. His arms tightened around her.
She should've felt something, anything, but all she felt was numb.
It took a while, but eventually Mikaela found her voice. "Atsumu?" she murmured into his chest. He hummed to indicate that he was listening. "Can you walk me to the train station?"
She felt him stiffen. "Of course."
Reluctantly, Atsumu let go of her. He still looked upset, but now it seemed that it was mostly aimed at himself. Mikaela pursed her lips and walked with him, trying to stay side by side. It was almost like he'd zoned out. She didn't know what she could say to make him feel better- it's not like she'd ever been in this kind of situation before. It looked like it was eating him alive- he'd completely forgotten about their previous argument.
He cared about her too much. That was the problem.
When they got to the train station and Atsumu reached the furthest possible point he could get without a ticket, they both stopped. Atsumu looked a bit better, but he still looked frustrated. Mikaela felt bad, but she bet he felt worse. He had his hands in his pockets and he kept fidgeting.
"Atsumu," she said softly.
He finally looked at her.
"It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is. You-"
"No. Listen to me." Mikaela took his face in her hands and she glared at him. She felt his jaw clench under her fingers. "I'm not mad at you," she insisted firmly. "Not in the slightest. I don't blame you, either. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I know you, Atsumu. I know you'd never do anything like that. I know you."
He didn't say anything. His eyes were fogged over.
Mikaela glared at him, pushing her fingers lightly into his jaw. "Atsumu."
"Okay," he said quietly.
She raised her eyebrows.
Atsumu sighed, bringing his hands up to go over top of hers. "I just..." his hand dropped, and so did hers. "I wish you had told me."
Mikaela didn't know how to reply. In all honesty, it was something she'd blocked out of her memory. Plus, he had been almost two years since it last happened. She hadn't realized she'd have a conditioned reaction to it. "It's not something that comes up in casual conversation," she replied carefully. "Besides, it's... it's been a while. I thought I would've gotten over it by now."
They were quiet for a moment, and the intercom above them buzzed on to announce the train leaving in a minute. Mikaela leaned forward and hugged Atsumu again, pressing her cheek against his chest. He was uncharacteristically quiet.
"Call me tomorrow," she said as she pulled back. "Please."
He nodded. "I will. Text me when you're home."
"I will."
Mikaela turned around and headed to the train, glancing back once to make sure he was leaving. Atsumu was still standing there, and when he saw her look back, he smirked weakly. She smiled back, then turned around, getting onto the train.
She found an empty seat and sat down heavily, then pulled her knees up to her chest. She didn't know what she needed right now, but as for what she wanted? She didn't want to be alone. Mikaela fished out her phone, her eyes blurry as she flicked through contacts and pressed on one. She leaned her head against the window as her phone buzzed once, then twice, then a third time.
Weird. Kageyama normally picked up before the second ring.
It rang a fourth time, and Mikaela's heart dropped in her chest when she heard the voicemail message. "This is Tsukishima Kei. I'm not here right now, I'll get back to you eventually." A beep.
Oh, holy shit. She'd instinctively called Tsukishima? Tsukishima?!
"Oh, shit," she said aloud. Then, she clapped a hand over her mouth. Wait- you could delete voicemails, right? "Can you delete voicemails?" she mused aloud, glaring at her phone. "Yeah, you can." Yes, she could- she just had to press a button at the end. She'd be fine. She could delete this, she just had to hang up. Just... hang up.
Or... what was the harm in talking? Especially if she was going to delete it? "I'm going to delete this after," Mikaela said with a sigh, "so I guess it doesn't matter what I say. In all honesty, I didn't mean to call you. I was just... on my way back, I was just with Atsumu, but..." Her throat closed up. "Oh, god. We had a fight. He wanted to make this more serious." Mikaela paused. "I don't know what I want. But then it got heated, and he reached out, and..."
Her lip trembled. "Oh, god, Tsukishima, I didn't think he was going to hit me, of course I didn't. He'd never do that. But I still flinched, and... you should've seen him, he looked devastated. And the entire time..." she sighed. "Well, it wouldn't have happened if it was you. That was all I could think about."
Mikaela paused, staring out of the window of the train. Then, she pulled the phone away from her ear and ended the message. The voice popped up: "Would you like to delete your message?" She hit the instructed buttons, then, "Message deleted."
She sighed.
Well, at least he didn't have to hear that.
-------
She got offers from two other universities later that week- Osaku and Tokushima. Tokushima was far, which almost immediately ruled that one out. Not just far from home, but far from a lot of the other big universities that her friends were likely to go to. Osaku was good, but Mikaela watched a lot of footage of their volleyball team and hunted through standings. They had never placed overly well.
That wasn't the point, though- Karasuno had never done well until she arrived. Right?
Kyoto was her top choice so far. When Mikaela told her mom that she wanted to focus on engineering, surprisingly, her mom took it well. "Well, it's better than the arts," she'd admitted. She knew her mom would've wanted lawyer, or maybe doctor, but the schooling required for both of those was ridiculous. Sure, engineering was time consuming too, but definitely not as much as the other two. Kyoto had a strong volleyball team, consistently in the top eight in Japan, and their engineering programs were solid.
Although, after looking further into it, Mikaela realized how much she liked Tokyo. The University of Tokyo's academics were top notch, and their volleyball team was insanely good. She had her fingers crossed.
It was at a practice on a Thursday afternoon when Mikaela got the news. She had practice with her team, and once it was over, stopped in to check on the guys. She ended up playing a few practice matches with them before they tried to wrap everything up. Most of the guys had already left, leaving only the third years- not that she minded.
"See you all tomorrow!" Hinata called as he bounded out of the gym, waving over his shoulder.
Kageyama followed, waving to Mikaela and nodding to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima before he followed Hinata out of the door. "Of course those two left before they have to clean up," Yamaguchi said with a sigh. "Tsukki! Can you help me with the net?"
Tsukishima sighed, but dragged himself over to help Yamaguchi. Mikaela laughed to herself and grabbed one of the poles, carrying it into the storage room. She came back out for the other one as Yamaguchi shoved the volleyball cart into the storage room with the net tucked in his arms. Tsukishima was heading towards the backpacks. "Too weak to carry the other one?" she called teasingly, grinning at him.
"Don't need to waste the extra energy," he called back.
"Just admit you're weak!" Mikaela joked, pulling up the other pole and carrying it to the storage room.
Tsukishima wasted no time in throwing back a retort. "Some of us have to keep the muscle for our brains, Mikaela. A pity you haven't done the same."
She carefully cradled the pole with one arm and gave him the finger, grinning as she made it into the storage room and set the pole in its place. Yamaguchi was grinning when she walked in, and she raised an eyebrow at him. "You and Tsukki have been getting along well lately," he said carefully.
Mikaela shrugged, smiling to herself. "Yeah," she said with a grin. "I'm glad. He seemed so cold for a while, I'm glad we're getting back to being friends."
There was an emotion in Yamaguchi's eyes that she couldn't quite place, but she didn't question it. She was happy with where she and Tsukishima were now- given the circumstances- and she was grateful. Did she miss him? Of course, but she was happy with Atsumu now. And he seemed happy too. Right?
At least, that's what she kept trying to convince herself.
"Your Highness!" Tsukishima called, and both Mikaela and Yamaguchi paused. "Your phone went off!"
"Who is it?" she called back, then instantly regretted it. What if it was Atsumu? Wait, that shouldn't matter- they were all cool now. But she didn't want to bring up Atsumu around Tsukishima if she could help it. That was normal, right?
There was a pause, then Tsukishima called back, "email. From University of Tokyo."
Mikaela's jaw dropped, and with it the volleyball pole. The large metal staff fell from her hands, and Yamaguchi dove to catch it. "Actually?" she cried, dashing out of the storage room and leaving Yamaguchi to put the equipment away. She ran over to the bags, where Tsukishima was holding her phone. "Wait- is this a prank? Are you kidding me?"
"Just read it, moron," Tsukishima said with a scowl, handing Mikaela her phone.
She snatched it from him and opened the email, scanning the document. As soon as her eyes landed on what she'd desperately wanted to see, one of her hands flew up to clap over her mouth. Her phone nearly fell from her hands. "They want me," she whispered, her voice muffled by her hands.
Tsukishima snorted. "You'll have to be more specific than that, idiot."
She read the words again, ensuring that she read it right. "Volleyball scholarship," she said, looking up at the blond. Her face split into a grin. "They want me to play on their- their volleyball team! Their team!"
"Actually?" he asked, his face twisting into a half smirk, half smile.
"Oh my god!" Mikaela screamed, suddenly pent up on adrenaline. She bounced from foot to foot, unable to hide her excitement. "I didn't think- I never expected- yes! They- that's my top choice! Oh my god!"
She turned back to Tsukishima and her heart jack-hammered against her rib cage when she saw he was grinning. "Congrats," he said, but he'd barely gotten the words out when Mikaela jumped at him, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. She squeezed tight, grinning like an idiot, adrenaline pumping through her brain. He smelled so, so good, and he was warm- probably from sweat, but in the heat of the moment, she didn't care.
It was only when his arms wrapped around her back did she snap back to reality.
Mikaela threw herself off of Tsukishima almost as fast as she'd thrown herself onto him. "Sorry!" she squeaked out, willing herself to calm down. It felt like every part of her was tingling, but not just from the excitement of getting into the University of Tokyo. She'd just hugged Tsukishima- and not like a light hug, like a full-on tackle sort of hug.
And she'd enjoyed it way too much.
She was blushing, she knew that much- her face felt embarrassingly hot. Tsukishima wasn't blushing, exactly, but his ears were red, and he definitely looked flustered. They were both frozen, unsure of what to do or say.
"What's that? You got into Tokyo?" Mikaela turned as Yamaguchi emerged from the storage room, grinning. "Congrats, Kaisha! That's awesome!" he said proudly, grabbing her in a hug. Mikaela forced her arms to go around his back, her head still spinning. He pulled back and raised his eyebrows at her. "You good?"
"Yes," she said quickly, grabbing her backpack. "I- I need to go. I'll see you two tomorrow?"
And then she was out of the gym without looking back, her heart going a mile a minute. She inhaled sharply, finding that the air was stinging her throat. It felt like oxygen wasn't getting to her lungs. Mikaela coughed, trying to expel something from her throat, and she turned around the far side of the gym and crouched by the wall, trying to figure out how to breathe.
Having a panic attack over a hug? Seriously?
But it wasn't just that, and she knew it. Mikaela pulled out her phone.
Mikaela Kaisha (16:48): You still with Tsukishima?
Yamaguchi Tadashi (16:49): Yeah, why? You good?
Mikaela Kaisha (16:49): Need help, privately
Mikaela Kaisha (16:50): Can you call me as soon as you're alone?
Yamaguchi Tadashi (16:50): Of course, give me one minute
Mikaela exhaled shakily and pulled her knees into her chest. It had all crashed down at her at once- she'd been granted a scholarship for a top school, for volleyball, and all she'd wanted to do was hug Tsukishima. She hadn't even thought about telling Atsumu; her first thought had been Tsukishima. It always was. "Fuck," she said with a sigh, sinking into the wall.
Her phone buzzed and she answered it. "Hello?"
"Kaisha? It's me. You good?"
Mikaela sighed in relief. "Tadashi, hey."
"What's the emergency?"
"I need to break up with Atsumu."
There was a long pause, and Mikaela was starting to think that maybe he'd hung up on her when he finally replied. "Actually?" he asked. "That's not a spur of the moment decision, Kaisha."
"I know," she replied, the guilt crushing her chest. "I... I need to do this. And I need help."
"Why don't we talk about this in person? I think that'll be much easier. And we can figure out how we should proceed with this."
Mikaela felt herself smile when he said 'we' instead of 'you'. "Yeah. You want to come over tonight?"
"Sure. Is seven okay?"
"Seven's perfect. Thanks, Yams."
"Anytime, Kaela. I got your back, no matter what."
"I know."
She hung up and tucked her phone into her backpack. Mikaela pushed herself up from the wall and started her walk home, her head spinning. She had to break up with Atsumu- she'd been dragging this on for too long. She liked him, definitely; dating him was fun, he was kind to her, and he treated her well. Too well. Mikaela sighed to herself. She didn't deserve how nice he was to her.
She was still in love with Tsukishima.
Oh, god damn it.
-------
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"
Mikaela pursed her lips, finally looking up to meet his eyes. Her fingers were tight around her cup. "What makes you say that?"
Atsumu laughed, but there was something behind it that was... sad, in a way, and it just made Mikaela feel worse. "Princess, ya call me out of the blue and say we need to talk," he said, leaning back in his seat, "and you haven't been able to look at me since ya walked in here. You haven't had any of your drink, either."
"Not thirsty," she muttered, her grip tightening.
"C'mon, Mikaela. Just spit it out."
She sighed, slumping back in her chair. "Yeah, I am," Mikaela said quietly, feeling heat behind her eyes. "I feel awful, Atsumu, I-" she cut herself off, swiping her bangs out of her eyes. "It's not fair to you if we keep this up," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I'm horrible."
Atsumu paused. "This is about what happened last week, isn't it."
"No," she defended, shaking her head. "Not at all, this is completely separate. I love you, I really do, but I... I don't think I love you the way you want me to." As soon as the words got out of her mouth, tears pricked her eyes. Fuck. "You've done so much for me, and I..." Mikaela sighed. "You deserve someone who can give you the same love you give them, and I'm not that person."
Atsumu snorted. "Why're you the one cryin', Princess? I'm the one being broken up with."
"Sorry," she muttered, wiping at her eyes. "I just feel like shit."
"Well, that makes two of us." Atsumu exhaled loudly, sinking further into his chair. Another wave of guilt crashed on her and Mikaela lowered her eyes. "Look, it's not like I didn't see this coming, Princess. Too good to be true." She looked up again and he shrugged. "We said we'd stay casual, didn't we?"
"I know, but that was mostly for me," Mikaela admitted.
"Fair. Hey, look at me." She let her eyes drift to land on him, and he crossed his arms. "Thanks for having a shred of human decency and doin' this in person."
She bit her lip. "It's the least I could do, I mean..." she trailed off. "Atsumu, you're one of my best friends. I don't want that to change but I... I get it if that's not possible right away."
Atsumu shrugged again, trying to be nonchalant, but Mikaela could see the hurt in his eyes. He was doing a pretty good job of masking it, to his credit, but she could still tell. She'd dated him for six months- she knew a thing or two about him. Just thinking about it made her chest hurt more. Had she really ever been totally into this from the beginning? Or had she...
"I feel like I just used you," she blurted out. "I'm sorry."
"And I still feel like the worst human being in the world for what happened last week," he shot back.
She glared at him. "I told you, that wasn't your fault."
"Doesn't matter, it still happened." She went quiet, waiting for him to continue, and he huffed out a laugh. "Did ya have fun? Dating me?" Mikaela nodded slowly. "Then ya didn't use me. We both had fun, it wasn't all bad. That's all there is to it. I think it was meant to stay casual."
"I guess," she admitted. "As soon as we started thinking about getting more serious..."
"It didn't work out," he finished.
Mikaela sighed, finally taking a sip from her drink. "Are you okay? You don't seem..."
"Horribly devastated? Emotional?" Atsumu teased, but from the look in his eyes, he was feeling something close to that. "Sure, but I'm gonna wait til you're not around. That's the gentlemanly thing to do, right?"
"I guess," she said with a weak laugh.
He glanced out the window of the shop they were at, then looked back at her. "Princess," Atsumu started, his voice quiet, "it would kill me if you beat yourself up over this. So don't. M'kay?" Mikaela swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, worried that she'd tear up again. "You can't help how you feel. Ain't nothin' I can do to change that. You're a good person."
She sighed. "Doesn't feel like it."
They were both quiet. It was the first time really had ever had an awkward silence- Atsumu had always picked up the conversation easily. She didn't blame him. It wasn't like she could've expected him to be happy about it.
"Can I..." he coughed awkwardly. "Walk you to the station?"
Mikaela blinked. It was over, just like that. Her eyes watered. "Y- Yeah. That'd be nice."
He nodded, swallowing, and stood up from the table. Mikaela followed suit, and they walked side by side down the crowded sidewalk. Mikaela's eyes were still misty but she did her best to force the tears back. He seemed fine, but Mikaela was picking up on the little things: he was walking stiffly, he wasn't looking at her, and he kept biting his lip.
Why the hell was she crying? This is what she wanted, right? Pretty pathetic, she thought to herself miserably, tucking her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.
The walk in silence felt painfully long, even though the train station wasn't that far away. Mikaela exhaled shakily, trying to calm herself down. When they made it, Atsumu walked with her as far as he could without having a ticket. Mikaela glanced at the gate she was supposed to go through, then back at her boyfriend- now, ex. "Atsumu," she started.
He shook his head. "Don't say it."
Mikaela bit her lip, then nodded.
Atsumu sighed, then held out his arms. "C'mere."
She didn't hesitate- Mikaela pressed herself into his chest, sighing to herself. She felt his arms wrap around her back- probably for the last time- and her heart felt like it was dropping into her stomach.
He pulled back first, drawing his hands back to his pockets. "Take care," he said hollowly.
"Thank you," Mikaela whispered, pulling herself away.
She allowed herself one last glance, then tore her eyes away and walked through the gate and to the train. She refused to allow herself to look back, shrugging her shoulders up to her ears. Don't look. Don't make it harder on either of you. Mikaela squeezed her eyes shut and kept walking, only opening them to make sure she didn't run into anything. Her eyes were blurry with tears.
As soon as she got on the train, Mikaela threw herself in an empty compartment and curled up in the seat, trying to force herself to breathe. She pulled out her phone and hunted through for Yamaguchi's contact. When she'd told him she wanted to break up Atsumu, he'd helped her walk through what she wanted to say and how it was best to do it. He'd told her to call him as soon as she was done meeting Atsumu.
When he'd asked her why, she only told him she didn't feel the same anymore. He'd left it at that.
Yamaguchi picked up on the first ring. "Kaela? Did you do it?"
She nodded, then realized he couldn't see her and laughed weakly. "Yeah, I did," Mikaela said, feeling tears fall from her eyes. "Crap, Tadashi. I'm a mess. I was the one breaking up with him, and I was the one that was crying. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work."
"I'm proud of you. That's not easy."
Mikaela sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "He seemed okay."
Yamaguchi paused. "Well, that's good, then. Hey, you got it done. It's better than waiting and putting it off, that would've made it worse."
She sighed. "I guess so. Thanks for all your help, Yams."
"Of course. Are you on your way back now?"
"Yeah, he walked me to my train," she said, glancing around her.
"Did you tell him everything we talked about?"
"Mostly. I, uh... I told him I wanted to stay friends, but it was okay if it didn't happen right away." She hiccuped. "It's like you said, right? It has to be up to him."
"Yeah. That's good, Kaisha. What else?"
Mikaela shrugged. "That he deserved someone who felt the same way. And that I didn't love him in that way."
He hummed. "That's good, that's good." Yamaguchi paused, waiting to see if she'd say anything back, and when she didn't, he sighed. "Kaela?" he asked. "Can I say something?"
"Go for it."
"You're still in love with him, aren't you?" He paused. "And I'm not talking about Miya."
She didn't need him to clarify or repeat it. Mikaela sunk deeper into her seat, pulling the phone away from her so that Yamaguchi wouldn't hear her sigh over the phone. She squeezed her eyes shut, sending more tears falling down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him no- she wanted to scream it, yell it, write it all over herself if that would convince herself that no, she wasn't.
Mikaela choked back a sob. "It's not fair," she forced out.
There was a long sigh from over the phone. "Oh, Kaela."
She clapped a hand over her mouth and tucked herself up into her seat, pressing her cheek to her shoulder in an effort to dry her tears. "I don't understand," she choked. "It's been nine months. I've barely talked to him. We're not as close as we used to be, he hasn't done anything to give me any hope whatsoever. Atsumu was amazing, he really was. He was- he was everything I needed, and... and that still wasn't what I wanted. He was so good, Tadashi," she whispered, shaking her head. "So good. And I was awful. I was so selfish, and I ruined it. I ruined everything."
Yamaguchi was quiet on the other end.
"It's not fair," she repeated, wiping her eyes. "Fuck. I'm a horrible person."
"Don't say that."
"It's true."
"No, it's not. And if I ever hear you say that again, I've going to make you do a dozen laps of flying falls," Yamaguchi said firmly. "Got it?"
"...Yeah," she said unconvincingly.
There was sigh on the other end of the line. "Kaisha, I'm telling you this as your best friend," he said. "You're not a horrible person. It feels bad now, but it'll get better. You broke up with someone because you didn't feel the same. Trust me, if you had let that drag on for longer, it would've been a lot worse."
"And I did it for someone who couldn't give two shits about me," Mikaela shot back.
"You don't know that."
Yes, I do. The sadness seemed to give way for resentment almost instantaneously. "Thanks, Yams," she said bitterly. "I'll call you later, okay?"
"Wait, Kaela-"
Mikaela hung up, turned her phone on silent, and shoved it into one of the pockets in her track pants. She sniffled to herself, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie. "Shit," she cursed quietly, looking at how soaked her sweater sleeves were. Resentment was gone; self-pity was back.
It's not fair.
She cried on and off most of the way back.
-------
Mikaela was the obvious big name on Karasuno, but the other girls were starting to get out there too.
Somi was starting to make headlines as an up-and-coming setter. She was smart, she was ruthless, and her talent shone through in every play. Despite coming off with an ankle injury during the Inter High, she was 'making headlines', so to speak. Somi had been working twice as hard as she had before, and Mikaela hoped she'd get the recognition she deserved.
Another one of the team that had started to gather some online fame was Takinihashi. Taki's blocking was on another level- she was getting close to Tsukishima's playing level. She acted pretty air-headed off the court, but her senses pulled a full one-eighty when she was at the net. Mikaela was surprised at how much she'd improved, and how much she continued to improve others. Yao, their first year middle blocker, was picking up everything she could from Taki, who was more than eager to show her. Karasuno's blocking was starting to become one of their strongest points.
Actually, in Volleyball Monthly, Taki was named as one of the top ten middle blockers in Japan. Taki had cried. She'd sent a video of her sobbing to their team group chat. It had made Mikaela appreciate her team that much more.
Time seemed to fly by, and before Mikaela knew it, they were at the Spring High qualifiers. Thankfully, they ended up going well. Both Karasuno teams easily made their way to the finals, beating all the teams that stood in their way quickly and efficiently. Once again, the Karasuno girls were up against Niiyama for the ticket to nationals.
It's always Niiyama, Mikaela thought with a sigh as her team lined up on the back line of the court. She bowed with everyone else, trying to keep her mind clear. Everyone arranged themselves on the court, ready for the set to start. Mikaela locked eyes with Kinomi and smirked- one last battle between the two of them. She took the volleyball from the ref and backed up to the service line.
"Good serve!" Taki and Somi called.
Mikaela tossed the ball and ran forwards, jumping up and striking the volleyball. It rocketed towards the other side of the court and smacked into the tape of the net. Thankfully, there was enough power behind it that the ball toppled forwards, falling into the other side of the court. Niiyama had been prepared for a strong serve and had backed up too far, but Niiyama's setter, who was positioned at the net, managed to swat at it and put it in the air.
One of the Niiyama girls dove for the second touch, and a third girl spiked it over for the last hit. Mikaela received it, and Somi put it up for Taki, who put it through for their first point.
The game went on, and Kinomi was definitely a stand out player. Not only were serves cruelly strong, but she'd gotten a lot better at her aerial battles. Mikaela was going head to head with her and finding herself caught up in how much she'd improved. Kinomi seemed to be goading her on at points in the game, and Mikaela was more than happy to respond with even more ferocity.
Niiyama took the first set, 25 - 23, and Karasuno took the second, 25 - 23. The exhaustion was kicking in sooner now than in other games, and Mikaela was praying that it wouldn't go into five sets.
"Look alive, girls," Mikaela called as they went back on the court for the third set. "We're doing this in four!"
"I need a nap," Shoko grumbled as she went to set up in her spot.
The third set dragged on painfully long, but Karasuno managed to win, 27 - 25. A good chunk of that was thanks to Taki; her blocking jumped up to another level as the set went on. Mikaela still felt okay for the most part, but a lot of the other girls seemed exhausted. "Great job, ladies," she called as they trailed off the court.
"I guess we're going to five," Kinomi taunted from the other side of the net.
Mikaela grinned at her. "I'd prefer four, but if it means an extra set to kick you around, I'll take it."
Kinomi laughed. "You wish. I'm wiping the floor with you."
"Nah, I'm just getting warmed up."
Niiyama did, in fact, take the fourth set: 26 - 24. For some reason, Mikaela just felt more alive than anything. This was a great game. She could feel herself improving as the game went on. Most of her team was dragging themselves off of the court after the end of the fourth set, visibly disappointed with themselves. They'd been expecting to take it in four, apparently.
Mikaela clapped her hands. "Last one, ladies!" she cheered, helping pass out water bottles. "And this one's only to fifteen!"
"Thank god," Taki said with a groan, plopping down on the bench.
Somi moaned, falling down next to Taki. "Why are these games so long?"
"Isn't this fun?" Mikaela said, beaming.
"No," came the response from the majority of her exhausted team.
Hiba sighed. "Your Captain's right, girls. We have to keep this up or Niiyama's going to trample over us. They've got the momentum here, so we need to steal that out from under them."
Mikaela nodded. "And, when we win..." she grinned. "Dinner at the new place in town. As a treat."
The girls seemed to straighten up. "They've got the best octopus," Shoko murmured, her eyes sparkling. Several girls started adding their own knowledge about the restaurant, and Mikaela grinned, pleased. That seemed to be plenty motivating enough.
The whistle blew. "Alright, girls, Mikaela's up to serve," Hiba said, clapping her hands. "Place your orders."
"Orders," Mikaela repeated blankly.
The vice-captain nodded, then smirked. "If you miss, I want the most expensive thing on the menu," she said firmly. "Alright, the rest of you, order up."
Mikaela couldn't help but laugh. As her team passed by her and headed to the court, they told her what they wanted, ranging from simple side dishes to the most complex seafood that would be on the restaurant menu. "Well, I better not miss, then," she joked with a roll of her eyes after Somi placed her order. She walked to the back line of the court, taking the volleyball from Hiba, and set up for her serve.
The whistle went. She tossed the ball up, ran, and leaped.
The smack of her palm striking the volleyball was the most satisfying sound she'd ever heard. The ball whistled over the net and abruptly plunged, dropping down to the court floor right in front of Kinomi's waiting arms. A vicious service ace. "Yes!" she yelled, pumping her fist. Her team cheered along with her. Fourteen more points.
The game was dangerously close. Karasuno would pull ahead, then Niiyama would pull ahead. There was never more than a two points gap at any given time, and the points were dragging on for a lot longer than usual. Mikaela was starting to feel the fatigue hit her.
It was 13 - 12 for Niiyama, and Mikaela was in the center of the front row. Niiyama served and Shoko picked it up. Somi set it to her and Mikaela spiked the ball into the back corner. One of the Niiyama girls dove and received it, but it was messy. Mikaela watched the ball go up, watched the setter put it up for Kinomi, and she leaped. The ball hit her arms and fell down on Niiyama's side of the court. Block point.
"Yes!" Taki shrieked from the bench, and Mikaela grinned to herself. Tied up. Then, she noticed the gym doors.
The boys. They were all huddled into the doorway, watching the game. From the looks of how they were squashed together and settling down, they'd just gotten there. Mikaela locked eyes with Yamaguchi, then Kageyama, then Ukai. She raised her hand in a thumbs up, like a question, and Ukai flashed her one back. She knew what that meant.
"The boys won," she said aloud, her smile starting to hurt her face. "The boys won!"
The girls on the court glanced at the doorway. "Well, now we have to win," Hiba said with a roll of her eyes, moving into her next position. Mikaela grinned and tore her eyes away from the gym doors, heading into her next spot.
The ball was served, and Niiyama received it. The ball went to the opposite side of the court as Mikaela, so she sprinted to join the block and make it a triple. Hiba, who was on the other side of the block, jumped slightly late. The volleyball spun off of her fingers and up into the air, back to where Mikaela had just been. Crap. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she dashed for the far side of the court.
Somi was there, and she got the first hit, sending it straight up. "Got it!" Mikaela yelled, her eyes trained on the ball. "Hiba!" In some sort of awkward jump and twist, Mikaela set the ball to Hiba. She landed on her right leg- her prosthetic- and her foot nearly skidded out from under her. She dropped her hands to the ground to try and catch her balance.
Thankfully, Hiba got the third hit, and the point was theirs. 14 - 13 for Karasuno. Mikaela grinned and stood up, checking to make sure she was okay. Something in her prosthetic didn't feel right, but after a quick test, it seemed to be okay. Something clicked weirdly as she stepped, but she could still walk. Her leg was still supported. Besides, there wasn't that much longer in the game- no need to sub out and check it.
One more point. All they needed was one more point.
Mikaela slipped into position, trying to ignore the weird feeling in her leg. She glanced down at it again, trying to calm the queasy feeling in her stomach. No, it was fine. There was no need for concern.
At least, that was what she kept telling herself as the next Karasuno girl stepped up to serve. Mikaela bit her lip, watching the ball fly over the net. Niiyama received and Kinomi hit it back over, but Shoko managed to dig it and get it up in the air. Somi moved to set, and Mikaela started her approach.
As soon as she went to jump, she felt it.
Mikaela misplaced her weight on the prosthetic and she felt her right leg buckle. She winced and stumbled, and the ball that Somi had set for went well over her head and out of bounds, putting the point up for Niiyama. "Captain!" Somi said immediately, coming up to her side. "You good?"
"Yeah," she said quickly, leaning down to grab her prosthetic. "Something... something doesn't..."
"Mikaela?" Hiba asked, coming closer to her. "Your prosthetic?"
She glanced up at her vice captain. "Do we have any time outs left?" Hiba shook her head. "Damn," she muttered under her breath. Something wasn't right, and she needed to take off her prosthetic and reattach it. If there was something wrong with it... Well, hopefully it didn't come to that.
"Ma'am, your team should take an injury sub," the referee said, "until you can address the problem."
There's no way in hell I'm going off. "I'm fine," Mikaela insisted. She tried to straighten up and instead crumpled, falling to sit on the court floor. Hiba's hands steadied her and helped lower her down to the court floor. "Seriously. Twenty seconds, tops. I can fix this."
The referee looked puzzled. "Ma'am, you should sub off."
"Let her fix it." Mikaela looked up to see Kinomi, and her eyes widened in surprise. "There's no point in saying I beat you if you're not on the court for when it happened," the blonde said with a roll of her eyes, ducking under the net to her side of the court. "What can I do?"
She was oddly touched. "I need to take this off," she said. "Just like- this."
Mikaela popped her prosthetic off, trying to ignore all of the eyes on her and the whispers. "Jesus," Kinomi muttered under her breath.
"Never seen a detached prosthetic?" she teased.
"Captain, even we've never seen you without it," Somi said.
Mikaela rolled her eyes and lined the metal limb up with her leg, then carefully followed her auto-piloted method to reattach it. It clicked into place and she flexed her knee, shaking out her leg. "All good," she announced. She turned to the ref. "Sorry."
The referee nodded. "Apologies," he said awkwardly. "I've never really had to deal with something like this before."
"Fair enough." Mikaela smirked to herself. Kinomi extended a hand and she took it, pulling herself up from the floor. Mikaela squeezed her hand, then leaned forward and wrapped her other arm around her in a hug. "Thanks, Kinomi," she said gratefully. "I appreciate it."
Kinomi laughed, patting her on the back. "For what it's worth, you're my favorite rival."
"Ditto." The blonde ducked back under the net, back to her side of the court. Mikaela turned to her team. "We good to go?" she asked, surveying their expressions. For the most part, they still seemed a bit shocked, but they all seemed relieved. "What's the score, fourteen all? Two more points, then."
"You sure you're good?" Hiba asked, frowning at her.
Mikaela nodded, leaning onto her right leg. "Yep. All good here."
"Let's get this show on the road then."
"Sounds good." Mikaela glanced up at the audience, most of which were staring at her. There were plenty of whispers going around. Mikaela was reminded of her second year at the Inter High, when her leg had cramped up and they'd lost to Niiyama in the final set. She was good to stay this time- a good thing, she hoped. She wasn't about to let history repeat itself. "Let's do this!"
Niiyama served, and Shoko received. Somi, as ruthless and hectic as she was, sent the ball straight to Mikaela. The Niiyama blockers seemed surprised, because they were a half second slow. Mikaela jumped, the ball falling right where she needed it to be, and she hammered it down the line for the point. 15 - 14 for Karasuno, match point. "Nice set," she complimented, and her setter grinned.
Match point, and she was up to serve.
"No pressure, Captain," Somi said brightly, passing her the volleyball, "but we're expecting a service ace."
"Win this for us, Mikaela-senpai," Yao called from the net, grinning.
Mikaela grinned to herself and backed up behind the line, debating between her left hand or her right. No one on her team was looking at her- they all had their eyes set on the court in front of them, waiting for her serve to go over the net. It was oddly comforting, seeing the amount of trust that her teammates had in her.
She exhaled slowly as the whistle blew. Then, she tossed the ball up, ran, and jumped.
Her left palm hit the ball, and Mikaela saw it happen before it all unfolded on the court in front of her. The ball curved to the right, and although the Niiyama receiver lunged for it, she wasn't fast enough. The ball sunk into the back right corner of the court, right on the line.
The linesman called the ball in. The scorekeeper flipped the number from fifteen to sixteen. 16 - 14 for Karasuno.
They won.
"Yes!"
Mikaela screamed and sunk to her knees as her teammates piled on top of her. The screams were deafening, and Mikaela felt happy tears prick her eyes. There were hands grabbing her jersey and her hair and her arms, but she didn't care. She screamed along with her teammates as the girls from the bench piled on next. They'd won. They won, they were going to nationals again.
We won.
Off of her service ace.
Mikaela thought back to Junior High, when she'd scored the winning point for her team and labeled that day as the best day of her life. No, that one didn't even begin to compare to how she was feeling right now.
This was the best day of her life.
Hey, guys!!
Did you see Haikyuu, ep. 15? I couldn't stop laughing! I thought it was hilarious!
Well...next week I will be updating one chapter per week! I don't want it to end ;;
Hope you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for your support and love you are giving us!
Love you so much!!