#Dedicated to @Im_Not_Sure! Because she is.. Well where do I start! She's cute and kind and so freaking funny and her book? ADDICTION, it's the most hilarious thing you'll ever read and every single one of her characters is so unique and adorkable, even Dick: No actually that's his name. So go to her profil AND COME BACK SO WE CAN ALL FANGIRL! Love you Ari ♥.
#Song on the side by Rixton is seriously the love of my life! If you haven't already, Make sure to listen to it, you will love it, I am sure of it!
#Banner by @OfPainAndHopes, I can't it's perfect, the four of them are mindblowing, I loved the lyrics and everything okay? Love you retard ♥
_______
“The most painful thing is losing yourself
in the process of loving someone too much,
and forgetting that you are special too.”
_______
Wednesdays were always the busiest day in the schedule. Swimmers, cheerleaders, volleyball and football teams, The Feed, drama club: Everyone stayed for practice. It was the third day of the new year, people were wearing smiles like diamonds, friends found each other with open arms and secrets to share, lovers were filling the air with sparks and rainbows.
They had all the right to be happy, the grudges and drama were long forgotten when the skies lighted up with fireworks, announcing the start of another year. People threw their old habits away and opened a new book. A snow white page. An empty paper yet to be filled with the rises and falls of the new year.
But some people were still stuck in the veil of the past, still holding on tight to their dusty old books and pathetic inked pages. Regret was a gun pointed at the head waiting for the tiniest chance to destroy a life, and guilt was the deadly bullet.
-“What are you doing here?” The bitter voice of Tyler spoke up when he felt a sudden presence by his side. He didn’t bother looking up for he had no desire in talking to anyone today. The first day of school was hellish enough, he didn’t need people constantly bombarding him with questions he had no intention in answering, questions he had no answer to. He didn’t sit at his usual table, he couldn’t. So he left his sport with the girls and the boys, his seat next to Sky and his old friends to sit alone. His coke was still full, his sandwich untouched and his French fries in place.
-“I am here because you got too much ego to reach out for a friend” Ace dumped his tray on the table and devoured his sandwich with eagerness, he finished his drink in seconds before reaching for Tyler’s coke, not bothering to ask him for permission, he just took it.
-“ You should be with Liraz.” His blank expression was unreadable, Ace stared at his friend for few seconds, trying to get a hint of emotion, but he failed. Tyler was expressionless.
-“ If you’re trying to get rid of me, you’re failing miserably man” Before Tyler could talk about how much he needs some time alone to know where he’s standing and figure things out, Mayhem and Killian filled the two empty seats next to him.
-“ Hell week baby!” Killian hollered, high fiving Tyler. “Coach Reed is going to bust our ass today. If we win the upcoming game, we’ll be champions” Killian collapsed on his seat, too tired to even think of workouts. He pushed his tray away and reached for Tyler’s sandwich
-“ Not if we win, when we will win, we’ll be champions baby!” Mayhem sang loudly before reaching for Tyler’s French fries, only this time he didn’t get away with it like the boys did, Tyler slapped his arm away
-“ Not the fucking French fries” He took his plate and held it protectively between in hands, and finally eat it.
-“Someone’s pretty territorial” Mayhem shrugged before stealing Killian’s salad. Tyler was about to look back at the table occupied by the girls. All he wanted was to do was steal a look of what he used to have, of what he deliberately tore down.
-“ Don’t!” Ace shouted in a hushed tone, like he was afraid the girls would hear him from there. “ Sky isn’t looking. She’s laughing with Lydia right now. She didn’t glance at you at all, but her friends are. And I don’t wanna imagine what would happen if you make eye contact. People are already wondering why aren’t we sitting next to them, they are gossiping and waiting for something to happen. Let’s not cause a scene. Don’t look back, Tyler”
-“ Hey, wanna go for a run later tonight? It’ll help you get ready for the game” Killian asked his friend nonchalantly
-“ The game is weeks away, Killian” Tyler declined the offer.
-“ Ty’s right, hey I always stay late at the pool, I work out when no one’s around, what do you say you join me, I’m sure the coach won’t bother this time, I’ll talk to him. A good swim will take your mind off of things” Ace offered but Tyler still turned down the offer.
-“ A good swim my ass, come to my place tonight, we’ll play Call of Duty and I’ll beat you like last time. It’ll be fun, as long as I win!”
-“ What’s next guys? A sleep over where we get to play dress up and take selfies?” Tyler shook his head, irritated. He knew what his friends were trying to do. They were just trying to help him move on, or forget by taking his mind off of his current situation but it wasn’t helping. You can’t kill your demonds when they are staring right back at you from the mirror.
-“ If that helps, we’re willing to do that” Mayhem tapped the table enthusiastically waiting for an answer. “Right guys?” He said before stomping on their foot under the table
-“ Right, yeah we will. But instead of playing dress up we’ll stalk Sky” The words left Ace’s mouth before he can take them back and as a result he got a punch from both Mayhem and Killian. “ I’m sorry, okay? Relax guys” He rubbed his arms and turned to look at Tyler. “Fine, we’ll just.. Well, we’ll clean your room, throw every trace of Sky, and burn the memories!” Tyler laughed half-heartedly while listening to his friends making plans to help him through his misery. Plans he’ll never attend.
-“ Where do I start?” The three heads shot in his direction, watching him eagerly as he took the bottle of water and drank like a thirsty man back from the desert. “ I’ll start with the books she left for me to read, the tons of movies she wanted us to watch, the unfinished letters she tried to write for Blake, the list of 2015 resolutions, her goofy pictures on my wall, the million gifts she gave me, my bed sheets that still hold her perfume, our photograph next to Blake’s portrait, the kitchen stool that she used to sit on. Let’s burn the memories, I’ll end up burning my house and my heart.” He lifted his head up smiling to his friends, a smile that never reached his eyes, that never lighted up his dark eyes.
-“ Tyler, we are-”
-“ See you in the field, buddy” He interrupted Killian, and walked away.
***
Mayhem always knew a workout was going well when the sweat beads on his skin ran down his face and crashed onto the floor. By the time the practice was done, his clothes were so wet and his jet black hair was plastered to his scalp. Exercising sure didn't make him look attractive while she was in the middle of it, red cheeked and soaked in her own perspiration, but after weeks of hard work , he knew he’d be able to win the game.
Killian and Tyler decided to stay behind for more hours of exercising, so he left them to take a fresh shower. The hallway seemed more relaxing when the hyperventilating students weren’t filling it with loud laughs and endless conversations, it resembled a summer house in the winter, cold and empty.
The sound of a locker slamming hard brought him back to reality and he took few steps backwards, a heart wrenching frown found its way to his calm features when his eyes fell on a girl as she collided with the cold floor, her crossed body covered with a trench coat, and her eyes covered with the heel of her hands. He took few careful steps towards the girl to get a better look at her and he couldn’t mistake that blond hair for any other. So he ran to her.
-“ Heidi”
He supported his back against the lockers and sat next to her, asking her repeatedly if she’s okay, but all she did was nod.
-“ Stonecrest Lake is such a beautiful city” She finally said, and Mayhem only looked at her with confusion, not understanding why she was talking about the city. “ We had so much fun, people there are amazing, so welcoming and friendly. I’m gonna miss them, especially Carolina” she giggled at the memory of Carolina dancing carelessly, Mystery singing to Taylor Swift, Chace teasing everyone, and Arkady praying to get through that night. “It was meant to be our perfect trip, you know? I had so many plans: I was planning on making a love confession, letting go of my big ego for the sake of love, I was planning on being happy. But what did I get?” Her voice broke at her last words and she nervously wiped away the tears that ran down her cheeks. “ A broken heart, an empty promise and nothing but myself to blame. I am too broken to be fixed again, Tyler and Sky are too damaged to find their way back, Lydia and Killian are too scared to love again. It all backfired, Mayhem. We lost. I, Heidi Blackburn, lost it all.”
Mayhem only looked at the ceiling, without looking at Heidi or comforting her. He just looked at the ceiling in silence, but she didn’t blame him, there was nothing he could do to un-break her heart and she stopped pouring her heart out because she knew, only heavy hearts look at the ceiling seeking answers that never come.
-“ Mayhem?”
-“Mhm?” He answered absentmindedly, eyes still on the ceiling.
-“ Do you think I’m lovable?” Her question made him laugh lightly, and she turned to look at him, but he didn’t look back, he was still staring at the emptiness of the ceiling above them. She wondered what was it that made him laugh.
-“ You are a Blackburn. ‘Lovable’ runs in your veins”
-“ And yet I can’t be loved” Her words seemed to mock her, so she laughed, she let out the silliest laugh escape her mouth, a way of coping making fun of herself, laughing at the ridiculous girl who believed she can be loved. After all even the prettiest girls have their insecurities.
-“ You aren’t perfect, Heidi. You are bossy and cruel, you make fun of everyone, you love attention, you like shallow things, you break hearts, you never think twice and you’re arrogant, you only care about yourself” Pointing out her flaws only made her realize that maybe, just maybe she deserved what she got, that it was god’s will to make her pay for all the horrible things she did. She looked down, fighting the tears in her eyes, because deep down it hurt her to know that the closest people to her thought of her that way. “ But being bossy shows how passionate and ambitious you are about what you do, your cruelty is your only weapon against weakness, making fun of people makes you forget how insecure you are, attention makes you feel good enough, you break hearts because you’ve been told that love isn’t fair, you never think twice because you’re afraid that if you over think, you’ll never end up doing what you want to do. You only care about yourself because you think no one cares for you” He smiled a small smile because he knew exactly how tightly he's bound Heidi’s tongue in knots. “ Most people only see what you show, but there are a few out there who know that it takes more than an accent to love you. You set your standards too high to see who’s determined enough to fight for you. And when you put all these things together, you’ll soon realize that you are imperfectly flawless.”
-“ I never-” Before she could say what she had to say, he finally took his eyes off of the ceiling and got up on his feet.
-“ I’ll take a quick shower and join you. I’ll meet you at the bleachers” He turned his back and she watched him walk away like a man who had seen the madness of the world and hid his insanity behind the mask of a clown.
-“ Hey Mayhem!” She called after him, her voice once again happy and sweet, so he turned to look at her. “ You are quite charming when you’re not stealing cookies”
And just like that, his small smile was replaced by an all too familiar smirk.
***
Glancing over his shoulder, Tyler spotted Heidi and Lydia sitting next to Mayhem. He immediately looked back at the track, focusing on his 300yards shuttle. The cold air coursed through his lungs and dried his already parched throat. His heart was beating so fast that he could hear it in his ears. His pace was speeding hastily and he felt the air slamming against his chest, attempting to slow him down but he didn’t let it stop him, he kept running but the memories flooded into his head and the sight of Mayhem surrounded by the girls reminded him of new year’s eve at the Black Sapphire. He still remembered how he spent that night: In his suite, drinking away the pain while his friends walked next to Adrian, surrounding him with laughter and love. He looked so genuinely happy, joking with Ace. While he, Tyler Hernandez, was left alone, abandoned to solitude and loneliness. He still remembered Sloan coming back to drive him to Amethyst’s manor, but he kindly declined. He had no desire in seeing his friends with strangers with crystal smiles and the love of his life in the arms of a predator.
And only then he realized how easily one can be replaced.
The blood pounding in his veins clogged his brain, and he launched into the track at full speed. His pace picked up and guilt rushed to his body like a surge of adrenaline and his lungs set on fire. He didn’t realize that his hearts was threatening to jump out until he collided with the floor. Letting his hands rest upon his knees, he took heavy breaths, wiping away the beads of sweat on his forehead. The sound of footsteps stopping in front made him look up to find Killian hovering over him, taking him aggressively by the shoulders and making him stand on his feet.
-“ What the hell, man?” Killian growled, passing a bottle of water to his friends. He didn’t understand why Tyler was acting like this, draining himself out of energy was putting his health and the whole team in danger. The final game was only months away and they wanted to win. They had to win. “ What is wrong with you!”. Before Killian could give him a piece of his mind, Tyler threw the bottle at his face and turned around to walk away.
-“ I don’t need lectures, save it, Killian”
There was no way Killian was gonna let his friend go, not when he was outraged like this. So he swirled Tyler over. He saw it coming, but it caught him off guard. He felt a balled fist make contact with his face, watching it smash hard against his flesh as blood begun dripping from his nose. From the bleachers, A loud gasp escaped Lydia’s mouth as she watched anger take over Tyler. It wasn’t the first time, and surely not last, but what surprised her is the state of calmness Mayhem was in, he didn’t jump to stop the fight, he just relaxed in his seat.
-“ Mayhem! Do something!” she yelled trying to push him off his seat, but he just shrugged carelessly
-“He’s suppressing anger, he feels at fault, and he’s only trying to punish himself, you know? He needs to blow off some steam and to be beaten senseless” he motioned to Killian as he got up and sent his knuckles straight to Tyler’s jaw making him press his hands against his jaw in pain.
-“ I know you for twelve years now. It’s about time you learn to hit like a man” Killian smirked, wiping the blood from his nose and expanded an arm for his friend to reach
-“ You son of a bitch” Tyler chuckled and got up, rubbing the dirt from his shirt, and walked towards the locker room.
-“ Hey” Tyler turned to look at Killian “ Don’t plan on painting the town red, we’re going for a run tonight”
***
Smiling at the vending machine like it was a gift from the gods, Skylar walked back to The Feed with her hands full of plenty of skittles, twix and Doritos
-“ Who said we can’t mix business with pleasure?” She showed off the guilty pleasures to the two people in the room before they ran towards her, each one taking some.
-“ Whoever said journalism is fun deserves to be turtured!” Gia sighed heavily, resting the palm of her hand on the floor. She always found it amusing how Gia always sat on the floor with a pile of papers scattered around her, her hair sticking everywhere and her irritation at its peak, but she always got the work done, she kept The Feed going for four years.
-“ No Gia, just show them your article and they’ll commit suicide” Andrew, the third guy in the room laughed and Sky snickered before letting her chair slide freely in the room.
-“ You are horrible partners, both of you. I gotta go, later.” She grabbed her things and waved them goodbye.
-“ How much time do you think it’ll take her to realize she forgot her planner agenda?” Andrew raised his eyebrow in amusement. Sky laughed while tapping on her laptop, before looking at her watch. Gia had the habit of forgetting her things, and they always had bets about her.
-“ Six seconds. If I win, you’ll take my Chihuahua for a walk” Andrew cringed in discontent, he had a weird fear of dogs.
-“ Ten minutes, you’ll buy me lunch for the whole week” Andrew smirked but that grin quickly disappeared when the door knob turned slowly and the door swung open
-“ Ha! Loser, you’ll take my Paris for-” She heard the person behind her clear their throat and she knew it wasn’t Gia, because she always barges in like a hurricane
-“ Sky, may I have a word?” Her lips formed a tight line and her eyebrows knitted in a grave frown when she realized that the person standing now facing her was none other than the inglorious Tyler Hernandez.
-“ Get the hell out of here” Her words were so were so cruel, so full of rage yet her voice was so calm, untroubled. “ Andrew, what you think of this?” She called for Andrew to come next to her, but he stood still in his place, his eyes on Tyler.
-“ Sky, please, I wanna talk to you. I need to talk to you. I can’t avoid you forever and you can’t be angry with me for the rest of the year” His voiced begged but Sky only smiled at Andrew, sweetly.
-“ I think I should leave you gu-” He was cut off by the sound on a pen slamming against the desk and Sky flashed him a dry smile, with eyes full of anger.
-“ Yes, Andrew, get going”
-“ Andrew, come check my work” Andrew pushed back his seat but instead of walking to Sky, he gathered his things.
-“ Sky, please. I need to stay out of this”
-“ Andy, if you leave this room, I’ll make sure you’re kicked out of The Feed” She threatened. Andrew ran his hand through his ginger curls and shook his head, he knew Sky wouldn’t hurt him, they were friends and she had always been nice to him, she only acted this way because she didn’t want to be left alone with Tyler, and he understood that. He just didn’t want to witness the drama and be forced to be part of something he had no desire in knowing.
-“ If you don’t leave this room, I’ll make sure you’re beaten to-”
-“ Watch it.” Andrew cut him off by standing few feet away from him. His light green eyes stared intently at Tyler, and the deep frown on his face aggravated his freckled skin. He was never fond of threats and bullying, and he refused to stand here and be scared of a quarterback with an ego that goes on for days. “ I wouldn’t wanna go there if I were you” His six foot frame gave him the advantage of standing few inches taller and for the first time, Tyler backed off. “ I’ll see you next time, Sky”. Taking advantage of the door closing behind him, Tyler took few steps but he stopped immediately when Sky held her hand in the air.
-“ One more step Hernandez, and I’ll get a restraining order” She was brief and direct, her voice was surprisingly calm, and she made it clear that she wanted to be heard: She wasn’t joking. “ Be a dear and close the door on our way out” She sat on her chair and tried to edit her article, but it was no use. She double checked it earlier, and Andrew edited it already. She just needed to keep herself busy until the door behind her closes. But that wasn’t going to happen now, was it?
-“I know you are angry and furious and you feel like slamming anything in your way. You’re bottling it up inside, and it’s not helping, we both know that” When she ignored him, he took the chance and walked to the window facing her. “ I didn’t find you in the hotel room, back in Stonecrest Lake. I called, but you weren’t answering, you were with your friends, with Adrian Campbell.” He clenched his jaw so tightly that it threatened to break all his teeth before he let out a laugh: Laughing at his own misery. “ Remember how we imagined this trip?” He smiled nostalgically, resting his forehead on the window glass. “ Go to the museum, make photo album together, discover the city, cuddle in bed with a warm cup of coffee” and play in the snow” see you in my mother’s office
-“ The list we made together, I remember” Sky’s voice made him look at her in a heartbeat, a spark of hope lighted up in his dark dull eyes and she looked at him blankly. The eyes that were once full of joy and hunger for life were now ice cold and lifeless, and for a second he actually wondered if the time she spent around Sloan made her as heartless as her. “ I realized every single wish” She chanted, nonchalantly. The image of Duke and Sky in the same bed enraged Tyler to no point, but anger wasn’t the answer now. He was careful with his words and avoided anything that could make her hate him, if that’s even humanly possible.
-“ Duke fucking Hart” He mumbled and as much as Sky enjoyed his pain and fury, she restrained herself from laughing. “ I didn’t see you in my mother’s office yesterday”
-“ Your mother is no longer my therapist. I wouldn’t do that to her. Unlike you, some of us have a Heart” She paused, looking at him coldly and he saw far into her eyes: So many unspoken words, so much she wasn’t telling him. “ Pun intended” He cursed under his breath and she started taking notes in her textbook.
-“ Say it, you just don’t want to see me. We both know that!” Once again, she slammed the pen on her desk and raised her head to look at him. She stared at him without seeing. There was no emotion behind her pale blue eyes but Tyler saw all the scars of the horror etched into them and the eyes he grew to love were now emotionless like all the life had left them.
-“ How could you be so selfish? I do not make decisions based on you, not anymore. I changed my therapist because I didn’t want to put a mother through the pain of losing a son and being stuck with a self centered manipulative bastard again, with the lesser son”
His head snapped back at her direction and he looked at her, uncertain if he heard her correctly. Her eyes shot flames from the pits of hell and he instantly took a step back, taken aback by her statement. He then knew for sure that those poisonous words really came from her mouth. His mouth formed around a failed reply and he looked out the window, fearing the impact of her look. He looked back at her, blinking repeatedly.
-“ There it is. The anger you’ve been hiding for too long”
His words were so simple, so easy and yet the anger that filled was so sudden, so immediate, she was not just furious, this was pure, blinding rage.
All the lies, the bittersweet memories, the emotional ache and restless hours of crying came back to her now, she felt betrayed, and invisible, like she wasn’t good enough. She thought that maybe, maybe if she tried a little harder, and fought a little bit longer, none of this would’ve happen. But the thought of Tyler playing her all along, since the first day he layed eyes on her made filled her with rage. And she came to realize, she was good enough, for the friends who stand by her, for the mother who protects her, for the father who rests cold in his grave but warm in her heart. She was only not enough for the man who wasn’t good enough for himself, and she knew that no matther how hard she tries, how many times she fights, she’ll never save him from himself.
She walked angrily towards the door and slammed it shut. Tyler turned to look at her while she angrily made her way towards him and he just knew. Just like the raging water of a wild sea that comes to a dead end, she couldn’t take anymore anger, or emotions so she looked for a way to let it all out. And what a raging water is capable of: Destruction. Raising her hand back, she threw it forward as hard as she could, whipping it across his face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed off the walls. Vibrations of pain started in her palm and spread all the way to her finger tips. Her palm was bright red matching the color on his cheek. He stared down at the floor.
-“ Is that what you want? For me to get angry? You think that maybe if I show anger there will still be hope for us, you think that I can forgive you by yelling and shouting at you, by letting it all out and screaming my nerves out. But get this: I can’t be angry, I can’t! It’s an emotion I can’t handle anymore! Not after my father’s death, not after the loss of Dean, not after what he put me through. I shake uncontrollably, my chest aches that I want to strip off of my own skin, I attack people and pass out for hours! It exhaust me and threatens my health, and I don’t want to end up in a wheel chair, I’m still too young to destroy myself, I’m too young to leave my mother, I am all she has left” She sat on her chair and reached for a glass of water, in a failed attempt to calm herself. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths.
-“ I didn’t love you at first” Tyler said, still next to the window. “ I had no feelings for you, all I saw was a gorgeous stuck up brat, a typical rich girl with a sassy attitude, and no character al all, a means to hurt Dean and crush him like he destroyed my family. So I came to you with cruel intensions, I teased you, I challenged you and I charmed you knowing that you couldn’t turn me down, not because of my looks, but because of that familiar thing about me. You spent too much time rejecting people but it took someone that reminded you of Dean to open your heart. I knew your weakness and used it against you. I made a big deal of asking ou out, I needed to blow your mind and wanted everyone to witness it, and when you said yes, my plan was complete. Dean knew, it killed him and we spent every night fighting, blowing punches and throwing things at each other, until our mother broke down in tears begging us to stop. Every night, every damn night he fought for the girl he loved and I laughed at him in the name of revenge saying that his mother left him for me and his girl chose me, what kind of pathetic jerk does that? But you know, if dead people could react, Dean would be laughing so loud right now.” He smiled lightly, then widely and ended up laughing obnoxiously for a good minute. Tyler understood that realization was such an awful thing, and each one had a different way of coping, and if laughing made the pain easier, than he didn’t mind sounding like the mad hatter for a while. “ Sometimes I just sit there and ask myself if it was worth it, and I always end up punching my reflection in the mirror. All it took was seeing you holding my sister’s cold hand. I thought taking you to see my sister would make Dean suffer more, but it was all I needed to realize that it was no longer about revenge, it was about love. A stupid gesture: Holding a hand. Who would’ve thought that seeing you hold her hand would make me realize that I’ve been lying to myself for a long while. Hearing you talking to her about plans in the future brought back the hope that I had lost long before I knew you hearing talk about me in such a way, believing in me like I never believed in myself: That moment, right there, I just hoped I could freeze it and live it forever. And in that day, I had realized I loved you. Have you ever seen a flower so beautiful you wanted to take it? I saw you, and you were so utterly fascinating, I made you mine and destroyed you. And It took me long enough to know that you were the only thing making me sane, you’re heart broke and my soul died. And all I got left is my demons to fight, but I am too weak. I love you, Sky, I still do. Help me through this god knows you’re stronger than I am, please, Sky, please”
-“ Enough Hernandez” She held her head in her hands. She couldn’t hear more, the battle inside her was enough to tear her apart, hearing him beg only made it worse. She was caught up between the heart and the reason, a part of her wanted her to run out the door while the other part wanted to run to him. She loved him still, but the monster she had come to know was always hidden under sweet words and loving arms.
“ I can’t hear this anymore. I can’t hear your apologies, I can’t hear your excuses and your lies, I can’t believe you when you say you love me, I can’t” She stood up and walked to him. “ I loved you” Her voice was much calmer, her breath steady and her body firm and balanced. “ I loved you, and my love was more than enough. I never missed the chance to believe in you, I showed up to every game, every practice, I stayed awake till dawn just to listen to you, I was never afraid to show my support and love for you, I snuck out of my room in the night and came to you because you were too anxious about your games, I never left before you sleep. I just loved you so intensely that it scared me, but I didn’t care because I always believed you’d never leave me, I believed you’d never walk away. But you did, just like Dean, just like my father” She stopped talking but kept speaking to him. She looked up and he needed no words, it was all written in her eyes. He lost a piece of the man he was when his sister went into a coma, and now he entirely lost the man he is when she smiled at him, a smile made to fake and hide, a smile he knew too well. She was lifeless and he was soulless. The smile never left her lips when tears fell down her cheeks, but she swiftly wiped them away. “ Death took them away, death likes to cheat but you, you chose to break me while I built you up. Years ago, I gave in to pain, I let my emotions get the best of me, I cried for days and mourned for years but my passion comes from my pain, my weakness made me stronger and I will not be that girl again. Ever again”
-“ No, Sky please, no, don’t say it” He walked to her and right in front of her eyes, he fell to his knees. She shut her eyes, refusing to see him in such a vulnerable place. She refused to let him weaken her again, she refused to see the great man he was fall down like a child. “ If you lose me now, I’ll lose myself” His mind was witnessing endless waves of emotion; And when it finally crashed down, his lip trembled slightly and no matter how hard he tried to hold back, they refused and tears streamed down his face. “ Please, Sky, I am begging you, ple-”
-“ Get on your feet, Hernandez” she said through gritted teeth, her eyes still closed, her mind still numb, but she didn’t back away, she stood still, right in front of him, too close and yet too far. His lips parted but before he could beg her one more time, she opened her eyes and looked right into his bloodshed eyes. “ Get on your feet, you are stronger than this goddamnit!” She screamed and the anger in her voice made him believe that no matter how much she hated him, she still refused to see him helpless, but for some reason, his knees failed him, and he couldn’t find the strength to get up again. “ Damn you Tyler! Get up and stand tall like the man I fell in love with!” Hearing her say his name instead of Hernandez, hearing those words she said gave him one last push to help him get up and stand tall, his eyes were still filled with tears, his heart still shattering into tiny little pieces, his mind still too numb to think but he managed to get up. And all at once he both loved and hated how much she affected him.
-“ Years ago, I gave up the right thing to do for love, I let my heart drown in the memories of a love that jumped off a hill, but there’s too much the reason can’t tolerate, there’s too much forces of the heart can handle and I am so done running when no one’s waiting by the end of the line. It was harder the first time, when your brother broke my heart, but nothing ever stays the same, my wounds will be stitched, and I will be okay again. And if we ever meet, we will never be the same” She held her head high and walked to her desk, collecting her things.
-“ I am the lesser brother, the bastard son. You spent two years loving dean after his death and if you can’t forgive a man you loved that much, there’s no way you will forgive me. I never knew that all it took was a broken girl to make me feel whole again” He wiped away his tears and looked at her, she buttoned her coat and walked to the door. Just before she left the room, –loud and clear– she heard his voice say
“And in my last day, I’ll dance for you. I hope it’ll be a loud and defeaning music so you’d see how much my love for you can silence the raging chaos”
***
#Hey beautiful people, SO what do you think? I want you to tell me everything, what you thought of Mayhem, Killian and Tyler, Sky, Heidi: EVERYTHING! I was so excited about this chapter, because they're back in town and back to school, so yeah, I hope you enoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
#Silent readers, Come on, I know you're there. Much much love, I love all of you xx