Dear reader,
Mikey finally snapped today. I've been waiting for it ever since I broke him and Hannah up, and it finally happened. He hit me.
But to be honest, I deserve it.
And I guess it made me feel, finally. I haven't felt anything but sadness and heartache since my mum died, but today I felt something more, I felt physical pain, and anger and guilt.
I kind of deliberately made him snap. I was tired of watching him bottle it all up inside, tired of him giving me that blank look, hiding all his emotions from me. I knew it was only because my mum died, and he felt like he had to tread on eggshells around me in case I burst out crying.
I hated it.
And so I deliberately asked him how him and Hannah were doing, and he exploded. Just like when he asked me how my mum was.
Although obviously he didn't do that purposely.
I really regret breaking him and Hannah up. Not to be cheesy, but they had something special. I destroyed that. If Michael is still hung up on her after God knows how long, he must have really liked her. Really really liked her.
But today he seemed very angry. All that anger he had bottled up inside suddenly let loose and it all burst out of his mouth like lava, and to be honest his words really hurt.
But I deserve it.
I deserve all the pain he wants to inflict on me.
~ Luke