I went to the mail room to look for Sammy after sending out the email that the Lion wants. He was busy sorting out the outgoing letters, but he beamed when he saw me. I walked over to him and sat on the chair nearby, taking some of the letters so that I didn’t look like I was just wasting time there.
“I’m sorry I burst in your office that way,” he said, as I smiled, “Did the boss get mad? Am I in trouble?”
“Nah, don’t you worry your head about it,” I said, “He’s a nice guy.”
“Is something going on between you guys?” he asked me inquisitively. I glared at him.
“What made you say that?”
“I didn’t say it,” he said quickly, “I’ve just been hearing some rumors…”
“Who’s been saying things like that?” I asked him. He looked around cautiously, before lowering his voice.
“You know Keisha,” he said as I nodded my head, “Well, she told to Gina and Olivia who asked me whether you’re dating the boss or not.”
“Why and how?”
“Keisha saw you go out with Mr. Lucas in his car a time or two before,” he replied as I growled internally, “Her closest friends are Gina and Olivia, and Olivia knows that we’re friends so she asked me.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That your personal matter is none of my business and that you’d kick my butt if I asked you anything personal,” he said solemnly, I couldn’t help but chuckle. I know that if he wanted to know anything he’d just ask and he’d never tell anyone.
“Well, you can gladly tell your girlfriend that, no, Mr. Lucas and I aren’t seeing each other,” I said, somewhat disappointedly, “He has a girlfriend, remember. We saw him with her when we went for a movie.”
“Did we?”
“You may not have realized – at the time you were pretty preoccupied with Olivia.”
“Oh,” Sammy said, his expression changing.
“I mean, of course you’d be preoccupied,” I said, “I don’t blame you. But the reason I get into Mr. Lucas’ car is solely due to work matters and it was only once, not twice.”
“I understand,” he said, “I know you’d tell me if you had anything with him.”
“Of course I would,” I said, “Now hand me that parcel, boy.”
Wait, parcel boy? Did the Lion mean Sammy? Did he think that Sammy and I were an item? Well, if he mistook us to be on a date at the cinema that few months back then it could be that he thought we’re dating. What can I do to make him not think that? Well, maybe it’s better this way. At least I wouldn’t be burdened by wondering how he feels about me. This is the only way that I can ensure that I do not fall deeper for him.
“Are you day dreaming?” Sammy asked me as I smiled at him. I seemed to be day dreaming a lot lately. Just then my cell phone rang. I answered it without looking at the screen.
“Where are you?”
“At the mail room,” I answered without thinking, “Who’s this?”
“The lion,” I gasped as I realized it was Ryan, “Why are you in the mail room? You aren’t supposed to be dating while working.”
“I’m not dating!” I said out loud as I stood up. Sammy looked at me curiously. I mouthed the word ‘boss’ to Sammy as he nodded his head in understanding. I left the mail room quickly.
“Will you come up to the office to see me?” he demanded, “It’s so hard to get you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said, “I’ll be right up.”
What did he want to see me for again? Can’t he just leave my life in peace? I knocked on the Lion’s door tentatively as I waited for him to call me in. When he did, I opened the door cautiously and peered inside. He was on the phone, so I stepped inside and stood in front of his table. He gestured for me to sit. He ended the call and looked at me mutinously.
“Why do you keep on leaving your office?” he asked me as I looked down to the ground. This time it’s my fault so I should not shoot off and attack him.
“I’m sorry,” I said meekly.
“Never mind,” he said as I finally dared to look up, “anyway I need you to edit the email and re-send it, this time change the meeting to Thursday. I just had a phone call and an appointment on Wednesday.”
“Okay,” I said as I stood up to leave.
“Not so fast,” he said as I stopped in midst of getting up so now I was bent forward hovering over the chair. I sat down quickly and looked at him, “What’s the rush?”
“Well, you wanted me to send out the email, didn’t you?” I ask him as he nodded his head.
“Yes,” he said as he opened his mouth to say something else, and probably thought better and closed his mouth.
“Is there anything else, sir?” I ask him.
“There might be,” he asked as he rubbed his face with his hand. What’s gotten into him? Why does he look so tensed? I looked at him intently, waiting for him to go on, but he merely looked at me, making me squirm in my seat, “Never mind. I’ll talk to you some other time.”
“Okay,” I said, getting up to leave.
“Don’t keep on disappearing on me,” he said as I looked at him and nodded my head.
“I won’t,” I promised as he looked at me. I edited the email and sent it out to each and everyone that I have sent to earlier. I then sat back on my seat contemplating my situation with the Lion. I don’t really get what’s going on with him. I sometimes get the vibe as if he might be interested in me, but then he’d shove me aside as if I didn’t matter. He loves to hear me argue with him, but when I show interest, he turns cold. What does he want actually? And also, I hope, for my sake at least, that if he doesn’t feel the same way for me, the least he could do is stop leading me on. It’s making my heart sick.
I bumped into him again as I left for work. He looked at me without saying a word, then just turned and walked away. I growled and got into my car. I can’t handle him being hot and cold as he wished. Does he think I don’t have feelings?
As we got out of the parking area, I sped up pass him on the left side of his car. I opened the passenger side window as he turned to look at me. Feeling frustrated and furious at him, I spontaneously stuck out my tongue at him. He stared at me with wide eyes as I turned away and sped off to my apartment. That will show him to mess with my feelings. Not even a few seconds later, my cell phone rang.
“Oh, lookie it’s that stupid lion!” I said to myself cynically. I cancelled the call and turned off my phone. I didn’t need to listen to his lecture now. I’m not interested in listening to his voice at all, thank you very much. After dinner I finally turned on my phone and I was quite disappointed to see only one missed call from the Lion. Looks like he doesn’t really bother to care about me – well, who was I kidding? Who am I to him anyway? I’m just a lowly assistant editor.
The next day and the day after that passed without any incident. The lion didn’t come looking for me and I didn’t go looking for him either. On Thursday was the meeting for the Holly Stone book launch. I was scrambling about in my office getting my minute book ready and making copies of the meeting agenda that the lion gave me in the morning. He was pretty docile with me this morning – he didn’t mention anything about my immature act two days before. I hoped he had forgotten about it as I was pretty embarrassed by it. I never usually do things like that and now I was afraid he’d think I’m some sort of a psycho.
As I entered the meeting room, I remembered the first time I met the lion and I cringed inside. Didn’t I hit my chin on the table and fall to the floor? God, why am I such an embarrassing person? I wonder if he still remembers that. I hope not.
“Okay, people, let’s get this meeting in order,” the lion said, and for a moment I forgot he was a lion, or the Ryan that I liked. He looked like the perfect CEO with his crisply ironed light blue shirt and dark grey coat. He was wearing a shiny dark blue tie and well all in all he looked perfect. We could never be together – I’m a mess.
“Samantha will be taking the minutes today,” he said, nodding his head at me as our eyes met. I don’t know if I imagined it or not, but I thought I saw him wink ever so slightly at me and it made the blood rush to my face. How does he do this? Make me hate him and want to call him all the vulgar words in the world and the next moment turn my legs into Popsicle that I feel like just melting to the ground. He went on into the agenda as I jotted down the important points that he said. Seeing back everything that I wrote, I realized that most of the task that he has to do, he had put my name to assist him. I was barely doing anything on my own, nor was my name with anyone else. Is there a reason he does that? It made my heart flower to think that he might actually have something for me – although I can’t be too sure about that.
He could be putting my name with his because he knows that I can do my work and it’ll make his job easier. Well, whatever floats his boat. At least I’d be able to spend more time with him. As the meeting adjourned, I was the last to leave as it was my responsibility to turn off the lights before leaving the conference room. The lion was still on his laptop as everyone left. I looked at him, waiting for him to get up.
“Sir, I need to turn off the lights,” I said as he looked up at me, seemingly pre-occupied with whatever’s thatis in his laptop. What could possibly be more important than going back to his office?
“Sam,” he said, beckoning me over to him, “Come here.”
I walked over to him and looked at the screen of his laptop. He was looking through some pictures.
“What’s that?” I asked him.
“I was browsing through some websites to see what other publication companies do for book launches and I came across this,” he said contemplatively. I looked at the screen to see a launching party with witch hats and broomsticks.
“What kind of party is that?’ I asked him as he looked at me.
“That is a launch party for a book of witchcraft,” he said as I nodded my head, “they made the party in theme with the book. I was wondering if we should do that too.”
“But, what can we do for a spiritual theme?” I asked him as he shrugged his shoulders.
“I need to think and we need to discuss about it,” he said, “Are you free tonight?”
I looked at him; my mouth open in the shape of O.
“To… tonight?” I stuttered as he looked at me. Just then I realized that I was bending down to the table really close to him. My breath hitched as I stood back and looked at him. This is all so sudden.
“Yes, tonight,” he said, “We need to discuss this over dinner.”
“Di… dinner,” I repeated. What is wrong with me? Why do I suddenly have speech impediment?
“Why are you repeating what I say like a parrot?” he asked me, and I saw his lips curl slightly, almost forming a smile. Did I mention he looked really cute when he does that? I might have mentioned it. But, I never mentioned how it made my heart beat accelerate, did I? I don’t think so, but well, if you think the bullet train in China is fast, try listening to my heartbeat now. You’d probably not hear it, because I think it’s beating to the speed of light.
“Sure, yeah, I have time tonight,” I managed to make coherent words form. The lion smiled at me, this one definitely making me freeze. I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel.
“I’ll pick you up then,” he said, standing up. I nodded my head. Okay, this is going to be a first - the lion coming to pick me up at my apartment. Wait; does he even know where I live?
“Do you know my place?” I asked him as he turned off his laptop and looked at me.
“No, obviously,” he said, “Give me your address later.”
“Okay,” I said, as I followed him out of the conference room. As I sat in my office, I can’t believe what just happened. Sure, it’s no date, but hell, I was going to have dinner with the lion – and I’m kind of excited by it. Wait, no, I shouldn’t be excited. I should be normal – because this is just business matter. Try as I might to admit to myself that I don’t care about the dinner tonight, I couldn’t keep the excitement of going out with him tonight out of my head.
After work I rushed back home and raided to my closet looking for something decent to wear. Why is it when I need something nice, I can’t find a thing to wear but other times I seem to always have something to wear? I looked at that dreaded red dress and my mind brought me back to that dreaded cruise ship.
“Nope, I’m not wearing you – you little slut dress,” I said to the dress, throwing it under a pile of ugly clothes that I have, “Don’t I have anything to wear?”
Finally I found a nice flowery knee length dress that I bought a long time ago. I never really wore it before, but I guess now is the time to flaunt it. I looked at my tangled hair and blew out my breath in frustration. I can never do anything about this. Since I’m always tying it for work, I decided to let it loose and fall passing my shoulder. A little blow drying and it looked soft and shiny.
“Nice,” I complimented my hair. My face cannot be saved and I didn’t want to wear too much make up or the lion might notice and assume that I’m all dressed up for him. Although I am, but I want the message to be subtle. Finally at half past seven, I was ready just as my phone rang. I picked it up.
“I’m already downstairs,” the lion said as I said okay and rushed downstairs. His car was parked right in front of my apartment building. I opened the door and got in as the lion looked at me and froze in his action of saying something.
“Hi,” I said, closing the door. I pulled on the seatbelt and turned to look at the lion. He looked at me from my face and down to my dress, “Hello, earth to Ryan.”
“Wow,” he said as I blushed. Could he not be obvious that he’s gawking? It’s not like I dressed up too much, “You look nice.”
“Really?” I asked, the blood once again flooding my cheeks, “Thank you. You look dashing yourself.”
“Thanks,” he said, smiling at me. He really did look dashing – instead of a shirt, he was wearing a leather jacket over a white t-shirt and instead of pants, he was wearing jeans.
“I’ve never seen you wear a dress before,” he said as I smiled, “It looks nice on you. I mean, what I’m trying to say is, you needn’t dress so nicely for a simple dinner for me.”
“I wasn’t dressing nicely,” I said defensively. I noted his tone changed – he’s starting to be mean again. Why can’t he just be nice? “I usually wear like this when I go out.”
That was a lie. I rarely wore like this when I went out. If I was going shopping, I’d wear jeans and some t-shirt, and if I was just cruising around or looking for food, I’d just wear some sweatpants or shorts and some baggy t-shirt, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Please do not think highly of yourself, Mr. Lucas,” I said, clenching my teeth on his name as he drove away from my building.
“Are you sure you’re not just trying to impress me?” he asked, smiling cheekily as I glared at him.
“You really think you’re all that, do you?” I said as he nodded his head.
“Girls always fall head over heels in love with me,” he said as I rolled my eyes.
“And yet, I never see you going out with any girls,” I say in a sardonic tone.
“That’s because I’m hard to get,” he said, chuckling as I looked at him in disgust.
“Of course you are,” I said sarcastically, unable to hide the venom from my voice, “You’re all ‘oh, look at me, I’m Mr. Handsome and Macho – come and fall in love with me but I won’t love you back’”
I must have rendered him speechless at that moment because he looked at me weirdly, but then he started to laugh.
“Okay, first of all, I do not sound like that,” he said, “And secondly – you think I’m handsome and macho and you’re falling in love with me.”
How did he know that? I gasped inwardly, and then I realized I was the one who said that to mock him. Silly me.
“No, I was saying what you thought of yourself,” I said as he chuckled. Jerk!
“It’s okay, honey,” he said, placing his hand on mine as I felt electric shock jolt through me. It must be only me, because he seemed to be unaffected by it, “You don’t have to keep on denying your feelings for me.”
I pulled my hand away and looked out the window. I’m really screwed. Better change the subject.
“Where are we having dinner?” I asked. I saw Ryan looking at me from the reflection on the mirror, but then he turned away.
“A restaurant called The Cherry Blossom,” he said as I looked at him.
“Where is it?” I asked, “I’ve never been there.”
“It’s a fine dining restaurant at the edge of town right beside the Cherry Blossom Park,” he answered as I nodded my head.
“I love cherry blossoms,” I said as he smiled at me, “But, I don’t know if I can afford fine dining.”
I physically winced as the lion shot me a sharp glare. What did I do now?
“Do you think if I took you out for dinner, I’d be expecting you to pay?” he asked me as I blinked at him. He sighed and continued, “Sam, I will pay. You don’t have to worry about the payment.”
“But that’s not fair,” I said as he glared at me again, “It’s a business dinner, so it should be fair enough that I pay half too.”
“Oh, you’re difficult,” he said exasperatedly, “Okay, how about I pay for dinner today and the next time we go out, you pay? Does that sound fair to you?”
“Yes, that’s fair enough,” I said in satisfaction, “But it’s got to be somewhere cheaper. I don’t earn as much as you do.”
“Yes boss,” he said mockingly as I punched him lightly on his arm.We pulled up at the valet parking as Ryan gave the key to the attendant. He then pulled me by the hand and led me inside. My face may look cool, but my insides were turning to jelly. I felt like we actually were on a date. Sadly, I can only imagine it. I bet he treated all girls like this.
We got a table in a private booth, and well, what can I say – I liked this privacy. It’s like our own little cocoon of love, or hate, or whatever it is that we have. I sat beside the wall as Ryan sat on the seat beside me. I wonder why he didn’t seat on the opposite. I liked this close proximity we had, but if he was further away I might actually be able to control my heartbeat and my breathing. Ryan, unperturbed as ever by the brushing of our arms, took out his I-pad and turned on the web browser.
He quickly made our order as the waiter came – brusquely asking me what I wanted. I took out my notepad and pen as he searched the web for things that relates to spirituality, as per the book we will be launching. I started jotting down things that he said, and as soon as our first course arrived, he said that we’re done and closed his I-pad.
“We’re done?” I asked him in confusion, “Now, what?”
“Now, we eat,” he said as he passed me my plate of tiny steak. The restaurant is famous for its gourmet food and now I remember why I hate gourmet food. The steak was the size of pigeon egg, but it boasts of the best red meat in town. I scoff that idea but as soon as my tongue tasted the meat, I was in love.
“This is actually delicious,” I said, munching on the meat.
“It is,” Ryan said, nodding his head, “I can vouch for that.”
“I expected gourmet food to suck,” I said, drinking the glass of sweet red wine.
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s so little,” I said as he chuckled, “I can get a whole cow for the price you’re paying for this pea sized meat.”
“Yes, but the taste can’t be matched,” he said, pointing the steak knife at me. He then sliced a piece of his smoked salmon and held it out to me, “Here, try tasting this.”
“I don’t like fish,” I said, pushing my head back as he held the fork nearer to me.
“Trust me, you’ll love fish once you’ve tasted this,” he said, as I came nearer and slowly ate the fish from the fork that he was holding. I cannot believe it, but it actually tasted wonderful.
“Wow, you’re right,” I said, swallowing the heavenly fish. Ryan smiled at me in satisfaction that I agreed with his taste, “It is wonderful.”
“So there you are tonight!” both Ryan and I were startled as I looked at the tall man standing at my table. He was smiling and looking at Ryan, his hands on his waist. He looked familiar, but I can’t quite place where I’ve seen him before. Oh wait, wasn’t he one of Ryan’s friends – the one I saw at the mall once with him. What is he doing here?
“Sean, what are you doing here?” Ryan asked his voice full of surprise. Great, maybe he doesn’t want his friend to know he’s out with me. Sean laughed a deep, throaty familiar laugh and sat down on the seat opposite us, making himself comfortable in our presence. He still seems familiar – but not in a I’ve-seen-him-with-Ryan-before way – like I’ve known him before.
“You said you can’t go out with us because you had business dinner and here you are on a cozy little date with little Miss Muffet here,” he said as I frowned at him. Miss Muffet? Who does he think he is?
“Err…” Ryan stammered and I looked at him. Well, this is a first. I’ve never heard him stammer nor stutter before.
“This bloke here never bails on us every Thursday for our guys night out,” Sean said to me, as I forced a small smile, “This is the first time he’s cancelled on us for a date. You must be really special.”
“I’m sorry, but no, we’re not on a date,” I said quickly. I could feel Ryan squirming in his seat – he’s probably so ashamed that his friend caught him with mousy old me – as he can’t seem to be saying a word. I felt Ryan turned to look at me, but I carried on, “We’re actually here to discuss work matters and we just finished as our food arrived.”
“Oh, then I’m not a bother then,” Sean said as I shook my head.
“No, not at all, Mr…,” I didn’t know his last name.
“Gregory,” he said, holding out his hand, “Sean Gregory.”
I took his hand and shook it, as the lion cut in…
“What are you actually doing here Sean?”
“Well, I was passing this area and I saw your car, so I decided to come in and say hi,” Sean said as I saw Ryan shot him a sharp glare.
“Aren’t you guys out for dinner or something?” Ryan asked as Sean shrugged his shoulders and beckoned for the waiter to our table.
“Everyone cancelled too,” he replied as he made his order to the waiter. Looks like he’s planning to stay, “Since you’re not coming, it’s not right for the rest of us to gather so we’re just meeting again next week.”
“Fascinating,” Ryan said, his teeth clenched. Something tells me he doesn’t like his friend hanging out there with us.
“So tell me more about yourself, Ms….” Sean faltered, not knowing my name, “Do you have a boyfriend.”
“No, I don’t,” I said, “My name’s Samantha Layton…”
“Samantha Layton?” Sean said as I looked at him. He was staring at me with his mouth wide open, “No shit way.”
“Excuse me,” I said – what did he just say?
“Samantha?” he repeated again as I frowned at him. Is it really that hard to grasp my name? I looked at Ryan who was staring at Sean weirdly.
“What’s wrong Sean?” he asked him, “Why are you repeating her name?”
“Shit just got real,” Sean said as I looked at Ryan pleadingly. Why is his friend so weird? Ryan placed his hand on mine; squeezing it slightly and it somehow made me feel safe.
“Is it you, Sam?” he said as I looked at him weirdly, “Don’t you remember me?”
“Err…” I said, shaking my head, “No.”
“It’s me, Kevin,” he said as my blood froze, “Kevin from music camp.”