[ZEUS]
I cursed, sitting up in bed.
Who the hell is it now? I wondered to myself as I searched the top of the bedside table for my phone. It's quite dark, the only source of light being the not so bright moon.
"Hello," I mouthed into the phone, my voice coming out a little frustrated.
"Zeus," a thick French accent brawled from the other end. I couldn't help smiling. Louis finally called.
"Yes," I answered, adjusting the pillow beneath my back, trying to get as comfortable as I could in my half sleep.
"You've been ignoring me," Louis accused from the other end. I sighed guiltily to myself. I have sort of been ignoring him, but it's not like Louis to call. Something must have happened.
"Louis?" I called, wondering if he was even still there.
"Yes," he answered. I frowned. His reply was plain, dull — unlike Louis.
"What happened?" I asked, concerned. I bruised my free hand with playing with the sheets. Ever since Julian started hanging in here there's been a constant need to change these things. I smiled at the thought of Julian. Hmm, Julian...
"Nothing," Louis half sighed into the phone. I blinked, then blushed, realizing I really hadn't been paying so much attention.
"But Louis—"
"Nothing, okay?" Louis said firmly. I frowned. Why doesn't he want to tell me? Shaking my head I sighed. There's no need acting like a protective boyfriend.
"It's alright, you don't have to tell me," I assured him, trying to play on his guilt as much as I could.
"Thank you," Louis said, ignoring me trying to guilt trip him.
"So, why exactly did you call?" I asked, resting my head on the pile of pillows. Julian has asked me about them before, why one man needed more than one pillow. I grinned, remembering what my answer had been.
"Why do you need to be touched so often?" I had teased, having the pleasure of watching his face turn a bright red.
"Shut up!" Julian had screamed, stuffing a pillow in my face. I still can't believe how red his face had been. I gasped feeling my heart beat steadily increase. I still can't believe simple thoughts like this could do this to me.
"Please don't jerk off through the phone," Louis begged teasingly. I opened my mouth but forgot what I was about to say, so closed it then frowned.
"I'm a healthy thirty-year-old," I countered, pulling the duvet up a little.
"And I'm a horny twenty-six-year-old you decided to leave hanging on the peg line," Louis snapped. My eyes widened in confusion. Is he mad at me?
"I'm sorry," I blurted in reflex. I really don't like making Louis mad.
"It's okay, it's not you I'm mad at. It's just — I'm mad at myself right now," Louis said, his voice giving off a hint of how tired he was.
"Have you slept?" I asked, concerned.
"No, not really," Louis yawned into the phone. I frowned at the imagery of Louis rubbing his eyes like he usually did when he was cranky and couldn't sleep.
"Go to bed," I tried to advise, lying back down.
"I want happy juice," Louis yawned through the phone. Now happy juice is just Louis' cocky phrase for sex. Apparently, sex was a dirty word and happy juice suit the post better. I smiled a little at how silly his theory was.
"I wish I could, but you're so far away," I murmured into the phone, trying to lure him to sleep.
"I'm all alone this valentine," Louis complained. My brows shot up in confusion. He has never complained about that before. All he did was say that it was basically singles awareness day. In fact, he hasn't actually said Valentine's day before.
"Hmm," I murmured, feeling sleepy myself.
"Goodnight," Louis yawned.
"Night," I said just before he hung up. I dropped my phone on the bedside table, tried to settle in for bed before settling on lying on my stomach. It was quite comfortable really.
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to think of things that'll make me go to sleep. I chuckled when Julian's face materialize in my head. God, I always think of Julian. What will he even think of me if he knew I was perving over him in my sleep?
Julian. I thought, cuddling into the pillows. Linda didn't know how lucky she is. She didn't know how much I would kill to have Julian wake up beside me every day.
"You get bored of marriage."
My mother had told me a long time ago when I was still living with them in Greece. I think I had asked her about her and my dad's relationship, why they were so civil with each other. It had been confusing because I knew how I felt around Kattalis. I'd been jittery, happy, shy — and well, in love.
"Do you think we could ever get bored of each other?" I had asked Kattalis on one of those random afternoons after school, where we in his room, cuddling and kissing on his small bed that one of us would occasionally fall from.
"No," Kattalis had answered giving my nose a peck.
I sighed, of course, we hadn't gotten bored with each other. Things had just turned out differently. I shuddered in fear. I didn't want things with Julian to turn out differently. I didn't want him to hate me. I didn't want him to leave me. I need—I need him to love me. I thought, cuddling into the pillow under me. I'm in love with Julian and there's nothing I can do about it.
[LOUIS]
I stumbled out of my bed ten minutes after I spoke to Zeus. I can't do it. I can't go to sleep. I admitted to myself as I half stumbled and half walked down the stairs to the small living room below. I turned to the right to open the kitchen door, gently feeling the wall with my palm for the light switch. I winced as the bright fluorescent light came to life with a crackle. My head hurts, from many things including drinking.
I let myself stagger to the fridge to retrieve another stout bottle. I bite off the cap nonchalantly before downing half the bottle. Somehow, I made it to one of the four wooden chairs surrounding a circular table in the middle of the kitchen. Slouching down on it, I continued drinking.
Why do I feel so sad? So affected? I wondered to myself as a new cloud of tears blurred my vision. I still didn't understand why I was crying. Why don't my eyes just run out of tears already? I wondered, trembling as I nibbled on my bottom lip.
I had gone to Leonardo's office to apologize and of course, the whole place was designed for 'singles awareness day' like every other place or joint in France for that matter. Then why had it bugged me when I saw Valentine hampers gathered around his door, his table, his everything. I thought lawyers were meant to be civil and unconcerned? It was bad enough that I had been feeling a bit off. It became worse when an office assistant walked in with another one dangling from her hands.
"Another one from Jacque," she had said, walking past me and dropping it on his table.
"Oh, okay," Leonardo had said, blushing — blushing?
"You must really have admirers." I had tried to say indifferently. The truth was it had been stabbing me like a bitch. So within one week, Leo had rallied up a bunch of guys to make me jealous?
"I wouldn't say admires, it's just—it's just one person," Leo said, talking in that awkward way he always did around me. I used to think it was shallow and annoying, but at that moment it had seemed oddly attractive.
I had watched him arrange some files. I could tell he had been avoiding my gaze. When I realized he really wasn't going to tell me anything I had to ask.
"Do I know the person?" I had asked, coming up to him on the other side of the desk.
"Well, no—"
"When did it start?" I had demanded. I don't know why I had been acting so nosy, I just had.
"Leo I..." Someone said as the door swung open. I looked over at the door to find a man who looked about twenty-five to twenty-seven. His lean face had been flushed probably from running; his dark black hair had been combed in that messy style, his eyes had wandered from me to Louis and finally settled on me in confusion.
"And you are?" He had asked adjusting his stance. My eyes had narrowed at the bouquet of flowers that had been hanging loosely from his left hand.
"He's Louis," Leo had said, walking away from his table and up to him.
"Oh," the man had said, corking his head at me. The way he had looked at me had unnerved me. It was as if he had been inspecting me.
"Hey," He had said smiling at Leo, who he stood a few inches taller than. Leo had smiled back taking his hand... I had been struck with confusion, I had felt oddly betrayed, jealous and a little hurt. I can't really explain how I felt how the simple act had annoyed me.
"Leo, can I talk to you for a second?" I had asked, staring at their entwined hands.
"No, can I speak with you?" the dark-haired man had asked as he walked towards me before giving me a weary dark smile. It had seemed fake — forced even.
"Sure..." I had trailed, really not knowing what else to say
"Thanks. Leo, we'll be back soon," he had said, looking back at Leo with a soft smile which Leo returned a light blush staining his cheeks. Blushing? I had thought, shaking my head. I don't know why in the world it had bothered me, why I had felt unexplainably jealous.
I had felt a light nudge on my shoulder urging me to move towards the door and out of the office, the door closing lightly behind us. The small hallway lights were a dim yellow. Walking side by side Leo's lov— I mean the man — Leo's friend. Yeah, that. I couldn't help comparing. Peeping from the corner of my eye, I took in his dark features. His tanned arms were lean and tucked in the pockets of his gray slacks. His steps were bold, confident.
I had looked away. He had looked manlier than me. Is that what Leo likes? Built men? I had thought, looking down the corridor. I had no clue where we were going.
I had heard the man sigh before he stopped in his tracks. I had stopped walking as well before I turned to look at him.
"Good, we're a good distance away," the man had said putting up a smile similar to the one before — fake. I had shifted from one foot to the other, wondering what he wanted to tell me.
"It's about Leo," the man said as his features softening.
"Oh," I had said, looking down at the floor. I have no idea why that statement had made me feel vulnerable.
"I love him," he had sort of murmured, running a hand through his already messy hair. The statement had made my heart tighten awkwardly. I didn't answer, I just nodded. I could have cried — I had wanted to cry.
"I want you to end things with him," he said, turning to face me.
"We don't have anything going on," I had said defensively as my throat tightened. The statement hadn't sounded right at all. I watched as the man sighed leveling his gaze at me.
"No, I mean tell him he'll never have you. Tell him he's wasting his time," the man had said, pleading with his eyes.
"You want me to break his heart?" I had murmured accusingly
"You're already breaking it."
"It'll destroy him."
"I'll fix him," he had said firmly, glaring down at me. I had opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I literally had nothing to say.
"Think about it," the man had said, turning away.
"It's Jacque by the way," he had said, giving me a small smile as he turned at the corner. I had sighed, running my hand through my chestnut locks. What am I going to do? I had thought, making my way back to Leo's office. I thought if I did it it would kill him. I thought it will—I can't explain what I was thinking, I just wanted him to move on.
Is that what you want? a voice had said somewhere between my thoughts. I had ignored it, opening the doors of Leo's office with a crick. Looking in, I had sort of taken in the office for the first time. The walls were painted a dark brown, the black pin boards covering a corner of the walls were adorned with pinned up documents and scraps of paper. I looked over at Leo's desk to find him working behind his computer.
"Oh, where's Jacque?" Leo had asked looking up from his computer
"He left," I had slurred, feeling a bit pained at the fact he had thought of him first.
"Oh," Leo had said. I can't get the tone of disappointment off my mind. What did he see in Jacque anyway? I had set my jaw painfully tight at hearing that. I still can't decide what Jacque means to him.
"Who's he," I had asked trying to sound casual as I pretended to read a document lying upside down on his desk.
"Who?"
"Jacque."
"Oh..." Leo had trailed. I wondered if there was something he couldn't tell me, didn't want me to know.
"A client," he finally murmured. I had looked up at him and frowned. He had been fidgeting with a pen. I had gritted my teeth. I couldn't understand why he hadn't been telling the truth. Well, all of it.
"Well, he seems more than a client to me," I had said sarcastically.
"I'm trying," he had muttered.
"Trying to do what?" I had asked leaning over him.
"Nothing..." He had trailed, looking away from me, his fist tightening around the chair arms.
"Nothing?" I had asked, provoking him with my sarcasm.
"Leave me alone!" Leo had said firmly, glaring at me. My heart had contracted as my mouth fell open. 'I'm getting Leo pissed' I thought backing away.
"I'm sorry," I had managed. I realize now that I had sort of been bulling Leo, he hadn't deserved it. I don't know, I was—I was just jealous.
"It's okay," Leo had murmured, his voice going soft as the room fell into an awkward silence. I could only hear the steady hum of the heater and the rhythmically creaking of the fan.
"Over you," Leo had suddenly murmured.
"What?" I had asked confused.
"I'm trying to get over you," Leo had blurted, the light blush on his face had been inevitable.
"Oh," I had said. I can't explain why my heart began to beat a little faster, why I had felt a sudden jolt of happiness.
"Jacque. I like Jacque," he had blurted out, still blushing.
"You want to use him?" I had asked, my voice becoming edgy.
"No, I—It's just—I told Jacque about you, told him I was in love with you, and he said he didn't mind. He said he loved me, that he cared for me," Leo had blurted, still blushing as he began to fiddle with the pen from earlier. My chest had tightened. He has feelings for him. I had thought, grimacing.
"I felt. I don't know — incredibly happy. I think — no, I want to return his feelings," Leo had said, still fiddling with the pen.
"You can't just 'return' feelings," I had countered. I backed away surprised as Leo slammed his fist on the table.
"I will. I know how it feels to want your feelings returned Louis, and I'll do it even if it's just for that reason, I'll return his feelings," Leo had stated firmly.
"Oh..." I trailed as I felt my voice tremble.
"Good luck then," I had shuttered, turning away and heading for the door before the first free tears slipped down my cheeks.
"Louis—"
I didn't hear the rest because I slammed the door behind me, running — dashing away from him before I did or said something stupid.
I had broken into tears as I stumbled into my apartment.
I want Leo to love me, me and only me. I admitted to myself as I downed the remaining half of the stout.