| May 20th | Monday Afternoon |
~ Megan's POV ~
Sam doesn't talk much after the funeral with Dane, and it worries me. Of course, I haven't been able to see her all weekend due to the fact that she's agreed to work doubles Saturday and Sunday, but I try not to get in my head too much about it. Instead, I play the supportive fiancée and hold her at night when she gets home exhausted from her weekend shifts.
I scan my room of kids and see Ava, reading as usual, and suddenly remember I haven't even given Sam the painting Ava made for her. It was still in my bag, patiently waiting to be revealed. Maybe since Sam was off today and would be fresh out of therapy, she would be more receptive to having the conversation I've been dying to have with her since Friday.
Eventually it's time for me to escort my kids to the busses and carpool lines, and we pack up for the day. When all my kids are gone for the day, me and Ava head back to the classroom to wait for Lisa. Our daily ritual, ever since it became one, is a small highlight of my day, and I find myself looking forward to it.
I take my usual place in Ashton's empty desk while I silently grade my class' essays I had them write today. With no homework, Ava sits quietly next to me, continuing to stay engrossed in her book. I notice from the corner of my eye that she's losing interest, and eventually she's closing her book. I prepare for her to break the silence.
"Lisa told me that I might have to live with a new family soon," is what she says.
I had noticed throughout the day that something was weighing heavily on her mind, and I figured Lisa had told Ava about her becoming eligible for adoption. I set my red pen down and look at her.
"I don't wanna move schools again," Ava admits.
My lips form a tight line. Part of me doesn't know what to say, while another just wants to comfort her any way I can. I know that's wrong, and that I shouldn't implant false hope because she might have to be rehomed and reschooled if Lisa doesn't qualify to become her permanent guardian.
"Well, you might not have to," I answer. "But, if you do, you'll make new friends just like you did here at Palm Vista."
Ava falls silent again and I know she's worried about the future. A part of me knows that older children have a less likely chance of being adopted to begin with, so Lisa might get lucky. Or, if a miracle happened and Sam and I got married and applied, we might get lucky and be able to adopt her ourselves. Both seem to be longshots, but neither are impossible.
"I'm gonna give your painting to Miss Sam tonight," I reveal. "I couldn't give it to her this weekend because she was busy."
"Do you think she'll like it?"
"Absolutely," I answer without hesitation.
This pulls Ava's attention away from our previous conversation and makes her smile. Within the same moment, Lisa is knocking on the door, indicating it is time for us to part for the day. I bid them both goodbye and head home with thoughts swarming my head, feeling eager to see Sam.
I walk into the house and am met with the aroma of something cooking and find Sam in the kitchen. There is a bouquet of flowers in a vase on the dining room table, a bottle of wine and a singular glass.
"What's the occasion?" I ask with delight in my voice.
"No occasion." Sam turns around and leans back against the kitchen counter with a smile. "Just felt like doing something nice for you."
I move closer to her. "Are you sure?"
She tilts her head, eagerly waiting for a kiss.
"What? I can't just be romantic once in a while?" she teases.
Without saying anything further, I lean in and kiss her. It's nice that she seems to be in better spirits, no doubt a result from her therapy session where I'm sure her and Dr. Dupree talked all about what she witnessed at Dane's mother's funeral.
"It's also a bit of a thank you, for being patient with me this past weekend," Sam admits. "I know I've been withdrawn since the funeral, but I think I'm ready to talk to you about it."
"I understand," is all I say.
"You always do."
Soon we're getting ready for dinner and sitting across from each other at the table after Sam pours me a glass of wine. Everything looks perfect, but I find myself wondering where tonight will go in terms of conversation.
"You know, I always thought because of the way I was raised, that I would never be a good partner, or parent, or anything other than a damaged human," Sam starts. "And for a while I was a horrible person."
I just sit and listen intently.
"I thought that because of the way I was raised, who I would be, and my life in general, was already predetermined." She sighs heavily. "But after the funeral... I realize that everyday we get to choose what kind of person we want to be. We get to choose if we love or hate. We get to choose to break generational curses, and that I've been actively choosing to break those curses without even really realizing it."
"Seeing just the little bit that I did at Dane's mom's funeral..." Sam shakes her head. "I mean it's a miracle he turned out to be as amazing as he is with the cards he was dealt as a kid."
I give her a reassuring smile.
"And I think I've finally realized it's not the hand your dealt," Sam says. "It's how you respond to it. It's how you adapt to get through it."
"I agree."
"I don't know... I feel like I'm just rambling but..." She shrugs. "Somehow, I feel better about the future, despite how shitty the circumstances."
I reach out and take her hand that rests on the table.
"I love you," she whispers.
"I love you too."
We enjoy dinner and I'm soon excited to give Ava's painting to Sam.
"Also, I have something for you," I say as I rummage through my school bag. "From Ava."
"Ava?"
"Yep." I reveal the painting. "She painted this for you. She said that she was thinking of how you told her she could be an artist when she grows up when she painted it."
Sam holds the painting in her hands with a smile. "She really said that?"
"Yep," I answer. "I'm a little jealous. She didn't even paint me, her favorite teacher, one."
I'm only joking a little bit, but Sam smirks to herself at the information. I know Ava and Sam relate on levels I will never understand, but I am happy despite my envy. Besides, the smile on Sam's face makes my heart warm.
"What's going on with her situation anyway?" she asks out of nowhere.
"W-What do you mean?" I ask, still not knowing if she's ready for this conversation.
"Well, like, is she still technically a foster or is she eligible for adoption?" Sam wonders. "I don't know I feel like you haven't talked much about it in a while."
I'm unsure what to say next. I could be honest with Sam and start the conversation I've been wanting to have, but the fear of a negative reaction holds me back. Sam sees the uncertainty on my face and shifts in her chair.
"What?" she asks. "What's wrong?"
"Lisa told me..." I start but stop, then take a deep breath. "Lisa told me Ava's birth mom signed away her parental rights, so she's now eligible for adoption. Lisa said she would apply but..."
Sam raises a brow. "But what?"
"She's not sure she'll qualify since her husband left and she already has three boys to raise."
Sam leans on the table, her expression unwavering. I can't read her or figure out what she's thinking in this moment, but all I hope is that she doesn't take Lisa telling me this specifically the wrong way.
Then she says something I never thought I'd hear come out of her mouth.
"Do you think we should apply to adopt her?" Sam asks.
I'm completely and utterly shocked, and there's no way in hell I can hide it. Sam's expression turns from confusion to worry.
"What?"
"Are you being serious?" is all I can manage.
"Yeah, I think so." She shrugs. "We're going to the courthouse in a few weeks. We'll be married. We make enough money. She clearly likes us a lot... and I know it's a longshot but... I don't know, it feels like the right thing to do."
At this point I'm surprised my jaw isn't on the floor. Sam stands from the table and walks over to me with a worried expression. Was my reaction that worrisome?
"I-I just..." I stutter. "I don't..."
"I'm not sure why I suddenly feel different about it, but... all I know is that I do now." Sam grabs my hand. "And I know I sound crazy."
"You don't sound crazy," I say. "I'm just shocked."
She laughs. "In other words, I sound crazy."
I fall into the embrace and try to imagine the picture Sam's painting in my head. It holds so much joy that I find myself overwhelmed with emotion. To say she's come a long way is an understatement. She's emerged from her armor of fear and is listening to her intuition and heart rather than her insecurities. She's probably still scared of making mistakes, sure, but she knows those happen regardless, and you fix them as you go.
"Now..." Sam pulls me back to look at her. "We need to talk about June 3rd, because you already know Blair's gonna want it to be perfect. She's already told me she's bringing a camera and will capture it all. She's also told me we better coordinate our outfits."
I can't help but laugh at the conversation playing in my head. Blair's voice echoing orders at Sam who rolls her eyes, obliging regardless. The image makes every inch of my body warm as butterflies swarm my stomach.
"I still need to tell Shawn," I reveal.
"Well, you should do it soon," Sam says. "You know he's always busy."
"He'll make time," I answer.
"He better."
I smile and lean into another kiss. The amount of love and excitement we both have for this day is radiant, and I absolutely can't wait for it.
***A/N***
Glad to be back guys. Here's another update. Hope you all liked it. If you did, please vote and let me know. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!
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Lauryn