A/N Hey there guys, much thanks to all of you commenting and voting! I'm sorry for the feels of the previous chapter but I just had to write it, it hurt me too if that makes you feel any better xD Anyways, I could finally find some time to update, I've been ad my dad's till tuesday, and even if I went home soon enough to update I just felt so shitty. But here it is, so don't be mad pls. Thanks for reading, and I hope you like this chapter :)
No
This couldn’t be true. Tears started to form in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to hurt you,” Dean said. Castiel just stood there, watching at Dean. Tears started to form in his eyes as he realized what was happening.
No
Dean didn’t recognize him. He didn’t know who Castiel was, he didn’t remember the memories. He didn’t remember how they became friends, he didn’t remember their first kiss, and he didn’t remember those days in the garage where Dean had taught him how to fix cars. He didn’t remember Castiel.
He stood there, Sam and Bobby said something, but he didn’t hear it.
No
He turned around, started to walk away, someone gripped his shoulder, but he turned away and started to run. He ran out of the hospital, not caring about anyone running after him. He ran across the streets, all the way home. The only thing he could do was running while tears were streaming out of his eyes.
No
He couldn’t see much through the tears, but he didn’t care. Cars were honking as he ran in front of them, people shouted at him as he pushed himself past them, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if he got overridden by a car, Dean didn’t even remember him. Dean, the boy he cared for the most, the boy he had so great memories with, he didn’t remember him.
No
He came home, opened the door, ignored his mother, and ran straight to his room. He threw himself onto the bed and shoved his head in the pillow. As his breath calmed down, he began to cry more. And more, and more and more. Was this what he had waited for all those days besides Dean’s hospital bed?
No
He was just calming himself down when his mother came in. She didn’t say anything, but just sat on the bed and pulled him into a hug. Castiel didn’t say anything. He let out a few more silent tears and his breath slowed. His throat and his head hurt from the crying. His feet were aching and his lungs felt like someone stabbed him.
But all of that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
“He… He woke up,” Castiel managed to choke out. His mother looked at him.
“And?” she said, knowing there was more.
“And he doesn’t remember me.” He whispered, as the tears came back again. He cried for another few minutes. Then, his mother asked something he hadn’t realized before, but it was true.
“You love him, don’t you?”
She wasn’t mad. “It’s okay, as long as you are happy, whether it is a boy or a girl. If you are happy, then I’m happy,” she said. Castiel thanked her. But then he realized it again. Dean did not remember him. He thought he hadn’t any tears left, but he was wrong.
That night, both Castiel and his mother stayed up late. Castiel had told her what happened, from the moment they had become friends till now. She had knows a few things, like their friendship, how he hung out with Dean in the garage and Dean teaching him his work. But she never realized how wonderful their friendship had been.
At 2am, she told Castiel she would call the school tomorrow. “You are gonna go to Dean, and if he wants to know, you’re gonna tell him what you told me. All the memories. I’m not saying he will remember it, but it will help you, trust me.”
When he laid down, Charlie texted him.
Charlie: hey! I heard Dean has woken up??
Castiel: yeah he did
Charlie: you seen him already? You sure missed him; you haven’t talked that less in ages!
Castiel: I went to visit him, yeah
Charlie: something wrong? Love trouble?
Castiel: he doesn’t remember me
Charlie: you’re kidding
Castiel: if only
Charlie: that sucks… need anything?
Castiel: nah, thanks anyways. Gonna go to sleep, see you
Charlie: big hugs, no worries and sleep well
The next day, Castiel did as his mother said, but before he went to the hospital, he walked to the garage. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have run away yesterday,” he said to Bobby. Bobby assured him it was okay.
“I understand it; I would do the same if I were you. Just glad you got home safe, boy.” Then Castiel told him of his mothers plan, and Bobby told him good luck before he went to visit Dean.
As he came in, the woman behind the desk asked him if he was okay, and what happened. Castiel just said he panicked but that everything was okay now. If only it was okay. She nodded and he went to Dean. He waited a few minutes before knocking on the door, to prepare himself.
He could do this.
He had to do this.
“Come in,” Dean’s voice said, and Castiel opened the door. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey there,” Dean replied. “You ran away yesterday. Why?” Castiel swallowed.
“I just… you didn’t remember me and I got so sad I ran away,” he explained.
“Do we… do we have a big history?” Dean asked.
“Pretty big,” Castiel admitted. “Shall I tell you?” He hoped Dean would say no.
“Yeah please, I’d like to know.” Castiel sighed and sat on the chair next to Dean’s bed.
“Okay, so my name is Castiel, and I’ve been your best friend for the past months. It will probably surprising we are friends because you don’t make any friends so you won’t have to say goodbye when you’re leaving again. We weren’t friends at first, I just was supposed to show you around, but you befriended me because you thought I…”
This was hard to do. Harder than Castiel ever thought it would be.
“You thought I was special.”
“And then you told me your story and I kissed you. I regretted it the moment I did it but you kissed back and that’s how we got… together.” Castiel finished the first part of his story. He felt the tears coming, but he held them back. He looked down when he felt Deans hand on his arm.
“Hey, you seem like a great guy. I understand why I befriended you,” Dean said softly. And with that, Castiel couldn’t hold it back any more.
He let the tears fall, silently, looking away. He didn’t want Dean to feel sorry for making him cry. It wasn’t Dean’s fault. He heard Dean move in his bed, but still didn’t look. He closed his eyes and tried to stop crying, this was not what Dean deserved after his crash. He was about to take a deep breath when he felt something: Dean’s arms. Around him.
Dean is hugging me.
He froze, not knowing what to do, but as soon as Dean’s arms closed around him more, he leaned into the touch and let go. Dean’s arm took him to the bed and there he sat, still crying. He looked Dean in the eyes, the grass green he had missed so much past week, and Dean pulled him closer so he could lay his head on Dean’s chest.
More tears fell, but Castiel closed his eyes and smiled. It felt so comfortable, he had missed this. And even if Dean didn’t remember him, it was still Dean, hugging him. Castiel didn’t know if it was because Dean felt sorry for him or because he wanted to, but he also didn’t care.
Dean is hugging me.
He woke up 15 minutes later by Dean, shaking him lightly and telling him he had to go home. “I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Castiel stumbled.
“It’s okay,” Dean smiled. “But the nurse told me I have to go to sleep so… will I see you soon for the next part of our story?” Castiel felt his heart warm. Dean wanted to know what happened between them. He wants to remember it again.
“Of course, I will come by soon.” Castiel smiled back and walked to the door.
Right before he closed the door, he looked at Dean once more, and thought he saw a glimpse of recognition in Dean’s eyes. I must have imagined it.
He walked home; much calmer than he had been day before. Dean wanted to know what happened, that was a good sign. And whether he would remember Castiel someday or not, as long as Dean was willing to talk with him, it was okay. He came home with a smile on his face and thanked his mother again.
“He wants to hear the rest of the story,” he said, which caused his mother to smile happily at him.
That night, he lay in bed, thinking. He thought of all the things he would tell Dean, all the memories they created. And maybe, they could make a new start. Maybe, Dean could get to know him all again. Maybe, Dean would go with him to the lake again, the lake where they had their first kiss.
Maybe, it would all end well.
And as he still cried a bit about how Dean didn’t remember him, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.