Previously on How to Get Away With Murder...
Nah I'm just kidding. Loved that show though.
But previouslyyyyy...well things were off to a good start for #Jayley but then Charlie arrived. So the question is...what does he want???? Drama, or no drama? We'll find out I guess.
Little disclaimer though, it's about to get a little bit steamy up in here folks. ;) I kept it PG though! With that said...
Happy reading!
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"I see your, fingerprints around my soul
Fillin' in the gaps with gold
You said you're never givin' up on me."
Song: Bits and Pieces ~ JP Cooper
***
28. Shit Just Happened
I lay on my bed that late afternoon after waking up from my nap. A few moments later I heard someone knock on the door.
"Come in," I responded.
The person only kept knocking.
"Whoever that is, it's open," I told them.
More knocks.
"Oh come on," I groaned, getting up to open it.
And once I did, I froze. I froze, big time. Time stopped, and I swear I could hear my heart thump in my chest. I didn't know what to say, and so I managed to articulate the first and only question that popped into my mind.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
Charlie only smiled softly. "It's nice to see you too Shayley."
Charlie...my ex boyfriend...the first person I truly felt something for...is here...now....why?!?
"You didn't answer my question," I said. "How are you here? Why? Did Khalan put you up to this?"
"Shay, calm down," he said. "And no, my sister didn't put me up to this, I asked Shawn for help, and he asked Jacob if it was cool-"
"Jacob?" I immediately asked. "Why would you ask Jacob if this was cool?"
"Because this is his place and I didn't want to show up unannounced?" he said. "Is there supposed to be another reason?"
"Well...I...okay, but why?" I managed to say.
"I'm on a lay over Shayley," he explained. "My next flight leaves in three hours, but I couldn't leave without talking to you. Not when you were so close. I've missed you...a lot."
My heart tightened in my chest. He didn't still have feelings for me did he? He had a girlfriend now according to Khalan. I hated to admit it, but I owed him a chance to at least talk. I probably broke him after breaking up with him without giving him a reason.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay, we can talk," I agreed. "But let's take a walk instead, I don't want to talk here."
He nodded and stepped aside. "Lead the way."
"Charlie?"
I stepped out and saw Khalan in the hallway, looking as confused as ever.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. "Shayley did you call him?"
"She didn't," he replied. "I'll explain later, right now I just need to talk to Shayley."
Khalan searched my face for any sign of uncertainty. I shrugged at her, letting her know that it was okay.
"Uh...okay," she said. "You two uh...have fun I guess."
She gave him a quick hug and stepped aside so he and I could go. I hoped we wouldn't run into anyone else, but lo and behold we met none other than Jacob.
Just when I was getting out of my "the universe hates me" phase. Really?
He set the glass he was holding down on the kitchen counter and looked at my face, Charlie's, and then mine again.
The three of us just stood there in the longest awkward silence ever.
Charlie sensed the tension and cleared his throat. "Jacob, thanks for letting me show up."
Jacob shook his head. "No problem man, you two have fun."
"Actually," I said. "Charlie, do you mind waiting for me outside? I'll be just a second."
Charlie nodded. "Take your time."
When he was gone, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "You didn't have to agree you know, are you sure you're okay with this?"
Jacob nodded. "Yeah, don't worry."
"But didn't you..." I began, before letting out another sigh. "You invited him not caring about the possibility that I'd see him and realize I still like him?"
He stepped closer and tucked the lose strands of hair behind my ear. "I thought of the possibility, yes, but it's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Why?"
He sighed. "Because, Shayley, you're holding the guilt of a lot of things inside. Can you tell me this isn't one of them?"
"I...well..."
"You want to move on, and I want to help you," he said. "You deserve to be happy Shayley, and I want that, even if there's a possibility that it's not with me."
I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, but I only sighed.
He smiled and kissed my forehead softly. "I'll be waiting."
I nodded and nervously headed outside to meet Charlie. He hadn't changed much, only his dirty blonde hair was shaggier and messier. His eyes, brown like Khalan's, still held that youthful and playful glow that I fell hard for.
Shit, was it too late to go back inside?
"Shall we?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yeah."
We walked in silence for a couple of minutes, both of us probably trying to figure out what to say to each other.
He cleared this throat. "How have you been?"
"Okay," I lied with a shrug.
He stopped walking, making me stand still as well. "Shayley, you've forgotten that I know you. I've known you since forever. Now really, how have you been?"
Everything that went on in my life from when I went off to college till now replayed in my mind, and I didn't know what to tell him.
"I...well I..."
He surprised me a bit by pulling me into a gentle hug, and I closed my eyes, allowing myself to melt into his arms.
"I'm sorry," I told him. "For everything. I'm sorry that I left you without giving you a reason. I tried to make it work Charlie, believe me I did. But life got in the way I guess, and I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to go down that road again but I ended up-"
"It's okay," he said softly. "It's okay Shayley."
I pulled away and wiped the tear off my cheek. "How do you not hate me?"
He chuckled. "I like you too much to ever hate you Shayley."
I smiled weakly. "Thank you."
We kept walking, and sat on a huge rock we came across at the side of the dirt road.
"So um...Khalan said you have a girlfriend now," I said.
He nodded. "Emma. She's a really nice girl, you'd like her."
I smiled softly. "Good, because if I didn't I'd kick her ass."
He chuckled. "I don't doubt that."
"You deserve to be happy Charlie," I said sincerely, fixing my eyes on the sunset before us. "I'm sorry if I took that from you, but you deserve to find it again."
"You took nothing from me Shayley," he said. "I don't regret anything...I don't regret you."
I sighed and picked at my nail.
"Can I ask you something though?" he said.
I looked at him and nodded. "Sure."
"Did you love me?"
I was caught off guard. I never thought he'd ask that.
"Well..." I began, trying to process my thoughts.
He was my first real boyfriend. Other people I'd dated before were all out of convenience, and they weren't many. I had always had eyes for him. Always. That only changed this summer.
I nodded slowly. "In a way Charlie, yes, I did."
He stared right back at me. "Good, because I loved you too. And I'm so sorry we never got to say that to each other."
He loved me? And I broke his heart. Wow Shayley, you really are the best person in the room huh?
"That was my fault."
He chuckled. "Not necessarily. I gave up Shayley. You said that was it, and I gave up on you."
"Well in your defense I left you no choice," I shrugged.
"We make choices everyday Shay, I didn't have to choose to do that."
"You were hurt, and you protected yourself," I told him. "There's nothing wrong with that."
He let out a light laugh. "Okay, how about this, we stop blaming ourselves. None of us did anything, shit just happened."
I smiled and gave him a nod. "I can do that. Shit just happened."
We talked for a while longer until about an hour before he had to leave, before heading back to the ranch so he could talk to Khalan before he left. I approached Shawn and Jacob in the kitchen.
"You're not going to kill us are you? He threatened me so he could speak to you you know," Shawn joked.
I chuckled. "No, I'm not going to kill you. Thank you though, both of you."
"I take it it went well?" Jacob asked.
"Better than I thought," I answered. "And Jacob?"
"Yeah?"
I smiled softly at him. "It's still you."
He returned my smile and held my hand.
"I'm third wheeling real hard right now, and so I'm going to go," Shawn joked.
I laughed as he left us alone. I stayed with Jacob until Khalan and Charlie walked back in.
Charlie let out a breath. "Well, I better be on my way if I want to make my flight."
I nodded, unsure of what to do. "It was good seeing you, really."
"Likewise," he responded with a small smile.
Khalan stared back and forth between us. "Well uh...I'm seeing him off at the airport so I'll be back in a few."
"Sure," I said.
She nodded, and they both stepped outside. I sighed.
Jacob squeezed my hand. "You should go with them."
"Huh?"
"Go with them and get yourself a proper goodbye," he said.
I looked at him and sighed in relief, and then I pecked him on the lips. "Thank you."
"You didn't need my permission Shayley," he laughed. "Now go."
I did like he said and hurried out, grateful that the waiting cab hadn't left yet.
"Guys, wait!" I called as I approached them.
Charlie turned just as he was about to hop in. "Shayley."
"You really didn't think that was going to be it right?" I chuckled. "Now hurry up and get in, your plane leaves soon."
He smiled at me, and I got into the backseat beside Khalan while he sat in the front.
Khalan smiled. "I was wondering if I had to come get you."
I only laughed softly.
By the time we made it to his gate, he had like five minutes left to board.
"Bye," Khalan said as the two hugged each other. "I'll see you after the summer."
"Take care of yourself kid," he said. "I'll see you."
They pulled away and he looked at me, and I at him.
Khalan whistled. "Oh look, a gift shop. I'll be uh...somewhere else."
She gave us our privacy and I laughed at her for it.
Charlie sighed, and I stepped closer.
"If I knew the last time I kissed you that it would be the last time I kissed you...I would have kissed you longer," he admitted.
I hesitated, but then tip toed to give him the softest kiss at the corner of his lips. "You have that now."
"He's a good guy," he said.
"What?"
"Jacob, he's a good guy," Charlie explained.
"You...you know," I said.
"A guy knows," he chuckled. "Besides, you two were holding hands when I walked in with Khalan."
I gave him a soft smile.
"Does he love you?"
I nodded.
"Do you love him?" he asked.
"Yeah, I do," I answered truthfully.
Charlie nodded. "Then that's all that matters. Just don't forget to love yourself too this time around."
"I'll keep that in mind," I said.
He pulled me into a hug, and I wrapped my arms around him too.
He kissed my forehead. "I'll see you?"
I nodded. "You will Charlie."
He smiled. "Good. Goodbye Shayley."
"Goodbye," I responded, before stepping back.
He waved to Khalan who was standing a couple of feet back, and then shot me a wink before going his way. I stood there and watched him disappear, thankful that I didn't carry any guilt concerning him anymore.
I felt Khalan hold my hand. "Should we go?"
I nodded. "Yeah, we said everything we had to say."
"Good," she said.
The cab ride back to the ranch was filled with a lot of thinking for me. Thinking about how lucky I was to have Jacob in my life. He made me happy in a way that I never thought I could be after my downward spiral. And now he helped me with this.
I was so in love with him I couldn't even begin to fathom how much.
I was certain now more than ever. It was him. I needed him.
When the cab dropped Khalan and I off at the ranch, I went right to Jacob's bedroom. I opened the door, and without hesitation I marched up to him and took his face in my hands, kissing him fiercely in the darkness. I pulled away and he looked at me before pressing his lips on mine once more.
I was utterly intoxicated by him.
I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, and he used his hands to support me. He was caught off guard, but he kissed me back nevertheless. My heart was beating so fast I somehow expected it to pop out of my chest and fly across the room.
"Shay...we shouldn't..." he said softly, when he realized where this was probably going to go.
"Yes we should," I said immediately. "Yes we fucking should."
I deserve to be loved, sue me.
He moved to the bed and placed me on it gently and I wasted no time in removing my shirt and kissing him some more.
I was craving him and only him. I was sure of that now.
My breaths quickened when he trailed kisses down my neck and chest.
"Shayley, are you sure?"
"Jacob, yes I am, now shut up and kiss me," I immediately said.
"You can change your mind at anytime, just tell me when to stop," he said, reaching into his drawer for a condom.
"Thanks," I said. "But seriously, kiss me."
Admittedly, I was nervous. It wasn't my first time, but it was my first time with someone I actually loved...so it might as well just be my first time.
He chuckled and continued to kiss me, and I allowed his tongue to dance inside of my mouth. Soon, stripped down, bare, and vulnerable, I was filled with him as much as he was with me, both of us consumed with each other in complete ecstasy. He was gentle with me, and with every movement I loved him even more.
With one last moan he fell beside me, both of us breathless.
Shit. Best night of my life hands down.
Shit.
He grazed my cheek with his thumb. "I love you, you know that right?"
"I love you, you know that right?" I repeated to him with a teasing smile.
That was the first time I'd actually said the words to him. And I meant every single word. How he had stitched me up and put my broken pieces back together, I'll never know. However, I would always be grateful.
He smiled and rose his head to kiss me. I ran my palm over his torso down to his pelvis. I smirked, and then kissed his jaw. Sharp moans escaped him as my hand massaged him, sending him over the edge once more.
When I was done, he kissed me tenderly once more and then pulled me close.
We lay there in the silence, and then finally my eyelids shut.
A/N
Lmao sorry guys, I suck at writing scenes like these. Told you I was gonna keep it as PG as I possibly could😂.
And I think her moment with Charlie was sweet. What? Did you think I was about to put y'all on yet another emotional roller coaster with them? Oh ye of little faith.
I mean I will eventually, but for now enjoy the "no drama" ;).
Oh, and to those who wanted smut...
Keep voting and commenting!!!
- amani