"Demisexual."
With his laptop on one thigh and Bryce's head on the other, Ian managed to move his mouth to answer without getting distracted from the paper he was writing. "That means you can only be attracted to someone once you've already formed like a close bond with them or something," he explained, making Bryce look up at him curiously.
"Like sex kind of attraction?" Bryce asked, the bright light from his phone bouncing off the silver rim of his glasses.
Ian was surprised when he saw them for the first time, too when Bryce arrived at his front door this morning. He didn't know the blond wore glasses or even imagined he'd look good in them, but he did and he is. Ian was convinced that the guy can wear whatever he wants, be it in the trend or not, and he'd still look like this even more fuckable piece of ass.
He chuckled as he removed his fingers from the keyboard to touch Bryce's hair. "Sort of, but not necessarily."
"Oh." Bryce's expression turned quizzical for a split second before he shrugged, scrolling to the next one. "Then I'm absolutely not that."
The brunet laughed, agreeing. "Yeah sorry, absolutely not."
A short breath of air escaped Bryce's mouth as he read through the other definitions, resembling frustration on a very hard Math homework. Although he made it clear that he wanted to do this, Bryce didn't look like he was getting anywhere near his goal. Ian knew first-hand how difficult discovering yourself can get so he decided to give his paper due two days from now a rain check, sighing as he turned his laptop off before gently removing Bryce's phone from his grip.
"You know you don't have to figure this out right now, right?" he told Bryce. "Or that you actually need to. You don't have to label yourself or anything if you don't want to, Bryce."
"I don't?"
"You don't," Ian repeated, smiling when Bryce sat up to rest his head on the headboard. "It takes years for some people, but there are ones who choose not to waste their time trying to fit themselves into boxes. That could be you."
"And you're okay with that?" Bryce glanced to his side as he asked.
Ian smiled, prying the sheets off his legs before straddling the blond, kissing his temple. "Everyone should be okay with that."
Bryce smiled, hands flying to Ian's face as he deepened the kiss, their hips grinding with every shift of movement. Ian paused when Bryce's glasses scraped his nose, eliciting a whispered "sorry" from the blond. "It's fine," he whispered back.
"You know, I bet this'll look better in black frame," the brunet boy said, tracing the length of the glasses' temple with his forefinger. Bryce caught his wrist as he tangled their fingers together, the corner of his lips turned upwards in the gentlest way possible.
"Yeah?" he then muttered, his other hand hidden beneath Ian's shirt where his thumb fiddled the spot just right above the garter of the boy's boxers. "Let's see."
Ian watched as the blond took his glasses off, his hair falling over his nose before he fitted it over Ian's eyes, taking the brunet by surprise.
Bryce shrugged as he scanned over Ian's face with a smile. "I don't know, looks pretty good to me."
Ian shook his head with a chuckle, pushing Bryce away who grinned widely at his reaction. "Wow, you're blind," he said. "And stop it, I look like a dork."
"Nah," the blond murmured, brushing his hair off before speaking next to Ian's ear. "You look like I wanna kiss you."
Ian looked up, the lens blurring his vision but who would want to take them off after hearing that? Smiling, his hands overlapped on Bryce's nape as their mouth brushed against each other in a hot kiss.
"We're going to my grandparents' tomorrow," Bryce spoke once they pulled away. "I won't be home until this weekend."
"Say hi for me," Ian muttered before Bryce surged forward, toppling over before landing on Ian's stomach, the bed bouncing due to impact. The brunet laughed as he buried his fingers in Bryce's hair, legs wrapped around his torso while the blond had his body locked in his arms.
"I don't wanna go," Bryce muffled on his shoulders before looking up at Ian with droopy eyes. "Get me out of it."
Ian grinned, shaking his head. "What do you want me to do? Lock you in my room?"
"That might just work."
"And I might just get killed by your parents," he pecked the top of Bryce's head. "Come on it can't be that bad. You're lucky your grandparents are still alive."
"Grandma," Bryce tried to correct him.
"Point still stands."
"Ugh, why do people always say that?" Bryce rolled his eyes, running his hand through his hair. "All they ever do is be old and fatten you up."
"Hey!" Ian threw him a pointed look.
"I'm kidding, I love them," Bryce grinned, pushing Ian's hair back until his brows were stretched. Ian scowled and slapped his hands away. "But I'm not in the mood to fly to Wisconsin."
"Well, you're just gonna have to, mister," Ian said, wiping his thumb across Bryce's lips before lowering his voice down to a mere whisper, breath hot against the blond's neck. "You know what? Let's have a deal..." He began tracing a line from Bryce's chin down to his Adam's apple, tone hot and lustful as he spoke, "When you get back..."
The next words that came out of Ian's mouth were void of any control, just stuff he would never say in a million years, not without impulse. Bryce's grip on his waist tightened as he listened to all the brunet has to say, including stuff he wasn't aware that was something an actual human being could do. He gulped, audibly moaning for a good two minutes or so until Ian finished with a sly grin.
"Fuck, I have to be home in thirty minutes you can't do that to me," he grumbled, biting lightly on a sore spot of Ian's neck. When he pulled away, he groaned even louder in frustration, and Ian couldn't help but giggle. "Ahhhh!"
Ian let out a loud laugh; a genuine, hard bellow when Bryce started rolling on the floor.
. . . . .
Heaven did not even come close to describe how good Ian felt four days later.
Ever since Bryce kinda-sorta came to terms with his well, sexuality, the boy had become less obsessed with hiding and being discreet. He would kiss Ian in the hallways, sure they were empty, but progress is progress. He'd call the brunet boy in the wee hours of the morning, asking what he's having for breakfast, or what kind of top he thinks would fit Bryce's outfit. It felt nice, and somehow new, Ian thought to himself.
"And you're still not dating?" Emery stared at his best friend, arms crossed over his chest. "After all that beautiful shit, it didn't cross your little brains to ask each other out?"
Ian scowled, letting go of Polo to throw a clean sock at the redhead. "It's more complicated than you think."
Emery let out a noise as he cast his eyes to the side, shaking his head. "Maybe, but it wouldn't hurt to shoot your shot," he snorted. "I should tell you though, 'shooting your shot' usually comes before two people have sex multiple times"
"Shut the fuck up." Ian rolled his eyes and laughed before grabbing Polo from under his bed, settling him on his lap as he added, "You're not one to talk when you still haven't told me about your little datey-date with Cameron."
"That's..." Emery trailed before snickering, his cheeks tinting pink. "It's just one of those things I get to keep to myself, you know."
"Whatever," Ian waved him off, not anywhere near dropping the topic just yet. "Can you at least tell me he picked you up?"
"He did."
"Did he bring you flowers?"
"No," Emery answered with a face that said 'why the hell would he?' before he continued giddily. "but I sat in his front seat. Beside him."
Ian faked a gasp. "Oh did you? That's like third base in virgin world!"
Emery threw his best friend a straight face before huffing. "I hate you."
Before Ian could speak, three knocks sounded from the door of his room, followed by Olivia's muffled voice. "You boys want anything to eat?"
"We're fine, Mrs. Norris. Thanks!" Emery answered for both of them before returning his glare to Ian.
"I'm kidding," the brunet held his hands up. "But seriously though, did he ask you on a second date?"
"It wasn't a date, Ian," Emery clarified as he looked down, stroking Polo's hair. "At least I didn't think it was."
Ian looked at him and sensed that the boy was actually at least a little bit disappointed. Trying to sound as light as he could, Ian asked, "Did you tell him you like him?"
"What do you think am I? An idiot?" Emery's forehead creased before he shook his head. "I can't humiliate myself on the first date."
"Aha! You called it a date." Ian smiled, pointing his fingers at the redhead teasingly.
Emery grinned back before lying on his back on the floor, holding Polo up in the air. "A guy can dream."
Ian laughed, watching as Emery brought his dog up playfully in different angles, making Polo stretch his limbs in delight. "You know you should bring Mattie over some time, Polo needs a playmate."
"She hates being out of her cave when it's cold, the bitch. Maybe next time," Emery informed him, and as soon as he finished his sentence, Polo took that as a cue to sneeze, splashing all over the poor redhead. Ian's eyes widened as he snorted before quickly taking Polo off Emery's hands.
"Oh, Polo! Bad, bad dog," the brunet scolded, tapping his dog's nose as a form of reprimand. He turned and saw Emery clumsily sprinting towards the bathroom, followed by a couple of clutter noises. "Sorry, Em!"
"It's fine!" Emery yelled back, the sound of gushing water drowning out his voice. "So what are we doing tonight?"
Ian laid Polo down on his bed as he thought of an answer. "Well, I was thinking-"
A few thuds from the door once again chimed in, cutting him off. Ian grumbled as he stomped over to turn the knob, and was prepared to talk over his mom when he saw who it was.
"Mom, we told you we're f- oh," Ian paused and saw that he was about to speak but he beat him to it. "Bryce. You- you didn't tell me you were coming."
"Didn't have much time to," Bryce replied with a smile before cupping Ian's face, letting himself inside the brunet's room. "Your mom let me in, I hope that's alright."
Ian gulped, breaking into a sweat when he heard the faucet being turned off from the bathroom. "Right, Mom yeah- of course, but I... I thought you weren't gonna be home till Sunday?"
"Wisconsin sucked..." the blond muttered, kissing Ian's lips. "I missed you."
Oh my God, you can't do that here right now, Ian thought nervously, his feet frozen to the ground as he prepared himself to kick Bryce out.
Ian nervously glanced at the door when Bryce kicked it close behind him. "Yeah but-"
"What?" Bryce asked with concern, his hands dropping to the side of Ian's waist. "You seem tense, babe are you okay?"
He's getting a little too comfortable with that word. Bryce's lips brushed over his cheek, an act that would normally send Ian to his knees but was now making him more anxious than ever. "Bryce, you really need to-"
To his horror, the bathroom door opened.
"Dude, you still keep that towel I gave you?" he happily asked, smiling until his eyes darted on Bryce and the position he and Ian were in.
"Em- Emery?" Bryce's eyes widened, knocking the digital clock before frantically stepping back, adding a huge distance between him and Ian, his back hitting the knob rather harshly as he did so, but the blond barely winced. "Shit..."
"Oh, oh um I'm sorry I didn't..." Emery stammered, panicked eyes searching over his best friend as if asking Ian what to do. "Hi, man what's up?"
"Fuck," Bryce cursed out loud, knowing he was screwed because there was no way in hell Emery didn't see what they were doing. "Shit, shit, shit, shit... That wasn't- we weren't- oh fuck."
"We're not... we didn't do that," Bryce moved towards the door impulsively. "We didn't-"
Ian quickly reached to the knob behind the blond to lock it before he held the boy's shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. "Hey, wait- wait, listen, Bryce-"
Bryce turned his head towards Ian in anger. "Why didn't you tell me he was here?!"
"I was going to! But you kept-"
"Ian, you had ten seconds to kick me out of the fucking door!"
"Look," Emery cut them off as he waved his hands in the air. "Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone, you can trust me, man I swear..."
Ian's fist hovered over his mouth as soon as Emery said that, praying to God that Bryce didn't catch on to it but by his luck, he did. "That doesn't-!" Bryce paused in realization before slowly turning towards the redhead. "Wait, what do you mean 'didn't'?"
"Won't! I meant won't! I don't know shit about grammar," Emery glanced around the room nervously before gulping, ignoring the daggers Ian was throwing his way. "My dad's Russian."
Ian rolled his eyes, flinching when he heard Bryce's hard tone. "Ian?"
"Bryce, I..." his voice came to nothing, wary of Bryce's cold expression.
"What is he talking about?"
"Bryce, please-"
"Talk."
Ian sighed, eyes flickering over every possible item in his room but Bryce. "He knows. He's known about us for weeks now."
"What?" Bryce laughed, but it didn't sound anywhere near amusement. "He what?"
Ian tried to reach for his arm, but the blond quickly pulled it away.
"What the fuck? You told him?! I can't believe this..." Bryce let out, his voice a mixture of anger and frustration as he began pacing back and forth.
"What- no!"
They heard Olivia's voice behind the door, knocking softly after hearing the commotion. "Boys? Is everything alright in there?"
"I didn't- just a second Mom!" Ian's voice cracked at the end, his mind too conflicted to think clearly. "I didn't tell him," he explained to Bryce, voice soft but cautious. "Back at the lake house. He saw us."
"The lake house?!" Bryce clenched his jaw, obviously pissed that he was only hearing this information now. "That long and you didn't fucking tell me?"
Ian's heart started hammering against his chest ribcage as he yelled back, "What was I supposed to do? I knew if I told you it would scare you off!"
He didn't expect this was how his night's gonna go, and he certainly wasn't prepared to argue with a very angry Bryce (sure he used to love it then, but that was different), much more when he felt like this was all happening because of his fault. Ian felt like crying, but he kept himself from doing it, knowing well that if he did, he would only appear guilty, so he bit his lip as hard as he can when Bryce started speaking again.
"Scare me off?" the blond scoffed. "What the fuck is wrong with you? He could've told the others and you were worried about scaring me off?"
Emery pointed his finger angrily. "Hey!"
"Em, don't," Ian worried before turning back towards Bryce. "It's more than that, Bryce."
"You couldn't even think about denying it?" the blond fumed, stepping forward while Ian stepped back. "For once, you could've thought about anyone but yourself, Ian."
"Deny... deny it? Anyone but myself? What-" Ian let out, voice faltering. "He caught us fucking in the next room how the fuck was I supposed to deny that?"
Bryce exhaled, the sheer volume making Ian flinch. He didn't notice though, and just kept to his own narrative, giving Ian a look that did the brunet more pain than any other look he'd ever received in his life.
"How can I fucking trust you when you kept this shit from me for that long?"
"Things were different back then! I didn't want to-"
"What, scare me off?"
"Yes!" Ian snapped, voice wavering. "Yes, Bryce I didn't want you to run from me by being honest, is that what you want to hear? I've been selfish, fine! I admit that! But can't you just think for a moment and put yourself in my shoes?"
"Sure, because it's so easy to be in your shoes, right?" Ian's shoulders dropped at the way Bryce was looking at him. Like he could be anywhere but near Ian. "You knew... I told you I wasn't ready."
Ian's lips trembled at his words, but he tried to keep his emotions at bay. "I knew that! You have no idea how fucking terrified I was when he found out-"
Bryce scoffed, gritting his teeth as he stared at the ceiling.
"-but it wasn't something I can control, Bryce! Shit happens, people find out, and sometimes all you can do is accept that fact and not give a shit about what others have to say-"
"That's easy for you to say, Ian!" Bryce raged, pointing his palms at the brunet who recoiled at his voice. "People know about you, and those people actually care about what you feel. I don't have that. All I have are lousy parents and a brother who doesn't know shit about being one!"
"What about me?" Ian let out, voice small. "Don't you think you should consider me after all this time?"
"It doesn't even fucking matter," Bryce shrugged with a bitter laugh before unlocking the door. "I have to go."
"No, no, please..." Ian muttered, close to tears. Bryce was already halfway through the stairs when Ian got out of the room, brushing past his mom who was watching the scene unfold with worry. "Bryce!"
"Ian!" Emery went after the two, but was stopped by Olivia's concerned voice.
"Emery, what is going on? Are you boys fighting?" she quavered, positioning Evie in her arms. The girl's eyes were wet with tears, probably confused and scared of all the angered noise she's been hearing. Emery ruffled her hair gently, assuring the little girl it was alright before looking up at Olivia.
"Just a rough patch," he said, lips pursed into a tight smile. "I'll take care of them, don't worry."
Outside, the snow was pouring like hell, but that didn't stop two boys from running after and away from each other, one of them a little more eager than the latter. Ian didn't bother to wear his coat, not willing to risk Bryce outrunning him despite the snow.
"Bryce, Bryce! Wait, please!" he called in a hoarse voice, frustrated and tired of running. "Fuck, Bryce this fight is so fucking stupid! Would you just stop for a second?"
The blond didn't seem to hear him, or rather chose not to as he continued speeding towards his car, ignoring Ian's pained pants behind him.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm fucking sorry I didn't tell you, I wasn't being fair! I should've, I know I should've!" the brunet yelled desperately. "Please, if you could just get inside and we can talk about this!"
"There's nothing to talk about, Ian," Bryce said, loud enough for Ian to hear once he finally reached the handle to his car's door. He had already gone inside and had started the engine when Ian caught up. "I have a flight to catch, my dad's gonna kill me if I'm not back by tomorrow."
"Okay... okay," Ian nodded, shuddering. "When are you coming back?"
"I don't think that's any of your business."
"Really?" the brunet scoffed, banging his fists on the half-open window. "What, you're gonna avoid me because of this? It doesn't make sense, Bryce this is so stupid!"
"You don't really fucking understand do you?" Bryce muttered avoiding his gaze. "It doesn't matter that he didn't tell anyone, Ian! It's the fact that you didn't tell me and I had no idea I was out to one more person than I thought I was!"
"It's Emery, you can trust hi-"
"That's not the fucking point."
"Bryce, come on, please," Ian's face was red, his eyes glossed with tears but Bryce couldn't be bothered to see any of it. "We made it this far. You made it this far, why the hell are you backing out now?"
"I'm not backing out," Bryce spoke as he rested his hand on the center console. "I'm just moving further without you."
Ian froze, his hands sliding off of Bryce's side mirror. "What?"
"Don't call me."
Bryce looked at him one last time and Ian missed the way his expression changed when Bryce saw the tears on his face, but it didn't take long for it to vanish.
"No wait pl-please-" Ian yelled when his fingers got caught on the edge as Bryce reverse the car, unfortunately stubbing his toe against the tire. "Ah! Fucking- damn it!"
Ian fell on the pavement just as Bryce drove off the road, leaving Ian with nothing but his emotions and a bleeding foot.
"Ian! Ian, Jesus Christ it's freezing!" he heard Emery yell from behind before he felt something heavy being draped over his head. Only then Ian realized how cold he was, but still, he felt nothing, nothing physically painful. "Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry, Ian this is my fault I'm so sorry, man," Emery spluttered when Ian didn't talk, helping his best friend slowly on his feet. "I can talk to him. I can tell him I forced you to tell me things I can- oh my God, you're bleeding!"
"It's fine. He's fine, he just needs a little time," Ian muttered absentmindedly as he let himself be dragged back inside his house. "I'll talk to him when he comes back, it'll be fine."
"Ian..."
"I can fix this," he continued. "It's my fault, I'll fix it."
Emery stared at Ian exasperatedly, not sure if he should be mad at himself or feel sorry for his best friend for getting his heart broken by a giant asshole. "Ian, it's not your fault!"
"It is, Emery!" cried the brunet as he buried his face in his palms. "If I had just said no that night we wouldn't have been caught! God, I'm so fucking stupid, how could I let this happen?"
Emery sighed, rubbing his palms on either side of Ian's arms as he started walking faster, not willing to risk getting hypothermia at this rate of temperature. "Look, let's talk about it inside. Your mom's worried and Evie's crying all over the place."
Ian nodded, his face hidden by the thick fur of Emery's coat. His tears cleansed the snow on his cheeks, the salty aftertaste reaching his mouth, taking the littlest portion of cold he felt inside and out, but it wasn't enough. Moments ago, Ian felt eternal, blissful, with no idea of what he'd be losing in a matter of minutes.
Heaven crashed and burn.
Ian:
Emery: