𝓡𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓱𝓪𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, I admit. Especially in a situation such as this, and I admit, it was doing terrible things to me at this time. I felt very... Disconnected, I suppose would be the appropriate term for a time like this. I have had a week long absence from college, coming up with excuses such as "under the weather," or "stomach bug," to my friends. My mum, however, she was suspicious of me, she knew that there was something deeper going on, and she was very determined to pick my brain until I just caved and told her what has happened, and today was that day, because today, I was feeling even more down and I just had to tell someone other than Chris.
My door creaked open, I heard my mum's heels click on the ground, she peered into the room, I laid in my bed, my duvet over half my face, I felt the bed shift as she took a seat by me, "Astrid, my dear," She hummed, it was a soothing sound to hear her voice so caring, "I know you haven't been this under the weather this whole time," She pulled the duvet down and I looked up at her, taking a deep breath, "You know you can talk to me, I am your mother, every secret is safe with me, did something happen to you and Michelle?"
I took a deep breath, shrugging my shoulders a bit, "There could be a fall out in the near future if some... details are exposed of an affair," I started to explain and my mum raised a brow with careful consideration.
"An affair?"
"Tony and I, we may have had a moment," I didn't feel like putting all the details down on paper for her, she didn't need to know I shagged him.
"A moment? Did you two kiss?"
I nodded and I saw my mother's eyes widen a little, "Astrid, you sneaky devil," She let out a small, humble laugh, "Now, tell me, was he good?"
"Mum! He's my best mate's boyfriend, I shouldn't of!"
"Oh, it is obvious to everyone and the pope that you and Tony have a connection!"
I felt frozen at that moment, did Michelle see this and she chose to ignore it? What did I tell her? Did I just tell her that everything she thought was true or did I just tell her she was imagining things? I gave my mum a look for a moment until I looked towards my duvet in a moment of panic, "Is that true? Do you think Michelle has noticed this?"
My mum seemed a little awkward at this point, as if she had no idea what to say, then she perked up a little, "Astrid my dear, the way Tony looks at you reminds me much of your father when we first met, even I noticed this," She patted my hand and gave a soft smile, "I think it would be in your best interest to sit and have a discussion with him, don't you think?"
I let out a soft sigh and gave her a nod, "You're right," I said before I finally got out of bed and she gave me a soft pat on the back before leaving my room, I decided to get dressed and actually go out and meet with Tony, figure out my feelings for once in my life.
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"I am- like, so glad you are coming with us, I thought you were dying, haven't seen you for a week!" Michelle cheered as we walked into a building, Michelle drug me along with her to Tony's choir show. He was the only male in the all-girls choir for this preppy school that Abi goes to. We slid to sit down.
"Of course," I said awkwardly.
Everyone else was joining as well, Chris and Maxxie sat in front of us, Sid was nowhere in sight yet, and the show was starting, they stated out with a Beach Boys song, Chris looked back at Michelle and I as it started, "Beach Boys, fucking top," He commented and gave me a cheeky smile before he turned to look forward.
Michelle was searching for Tony in the group of girls, she leaned over to me, "I don't understand, where is he?" She questioned me and I gave a long shrug. Sid finally slid into the empty seat next to me and he was wearing a weird shirt, it started to play music once he hit the nose and I tried to stifle a laugh and rolled my eyes before I looked back towards the group of girls who were singing. Then Tony came on, singing to Abi, rather romantic, I felt my stomach churn and I knew Michelle was feeling the same way. Once the song ended, everyone applauded. "Come on," Michelle stood up, taking my hand and Sid followed us, we headed towards the back, we could hear singing on another side of the door as we neared the dressing room. Michelle opened the door and we were met with Tony's hands up Abi's shirt as she sang, "What the fuck?" Michelle said and I stood there, staring at Tony, my mind absolutely empty.
"Excuse me?" Abi said with a snobby gasp following, Tony turned to look at us, clearing his throat.
"Hi, Just checking Abi's diaphragm contractions," Tony was quick to come up with a lame excuse and I looked over at Michelle, she was fuming, but, obviously upset.
"What the hell is going on?" I decided to speak up and Tony looked over at me, surprised that I was even here.
"The simple act of performance, Asti, what did you think?"
Michelle stepped forward, "Bullshit, Tony. You fucking sick- god, you are such a wanker!"
Tony looked between Michelle and I, then he picked up a teddy bear that was sitting behind him, "Here," He handed it to Michelle.
"Fuck you," Michelle ripped the head off and Abi let out a dramatic gasp.
"That's my lucky teddy!" Abbi screeched and I looked over at her and glared.
"And you can fuck off, too!" Michelle shouted at her and Abi crossed her arms.
Abi cleared her throat, "Well- Michelle, I'm just wondering why you're overracting like this."
"Overreacting? Right in my face, you whore!"
Abi put a finger to her chin and tilted her head, oddly calm in a situation like this, "You know, typically, episodes of paranoia might be symptomatic of a wide range of emotional and mental issues- maybe, you know, you need some help with the outbursts... My mother's a psychologist, she could-" Her face was met with a slap and she gasped, "Ow! I'll kill you, you fucking flat-chested, cocksucking, spastic horse-fucker!" My eyes widened as she shouted this and Sid seemed just as surrpised, "You know he fucked your friend right? He's told me!"
I froze, Tony seemed smug at this moment, Michelle looked over at me, then towards Sid, then back to me, "Who?" Michelle's voice was at a defeated level now and I looked over at Tony, my mind spinning and I felt the guilt I was feeling all week rush back through my blood.
"I think you know who, 'Chelle," Tony spoke up again, finally.
"Fuck you, all three of you," Michelle stormed out and Sid followed her, I stood there, frozen in place, surprised Tony would let this out.
"Abi, wonder if you could give me and Astrid a minute?"
"Yes, I need my medication," Abi sighed and she walked out, leaving Tony and I alone, I just stared at him and he turned to look at me.
"I am actually glad you showed up, it was worth it, wasn't it?"
"You- what the fuck?" I couldn't figured out anything other than that to saw.
"Looks like me and 'Chelle are on a break," He raised a brow.
I furrowed my brow and gave him a look, "You did all that, on purpose?"
"For us, yes. Come here," He stepped back and sat on a couch that was pushed up against the wall, I stared him down, trying to process every feeling I was feeling.
"I've been friends with her since- since fucking primary, why did you tell Abi any of our business!"
"I didn't expect her to blurt it out like that, honest. But, I am glad, now that it is out there, it is like a weight off your shoulders, right?"
I looked down at the ground for a moment, "Tony, this is sick, why?"
He stood up now, stepping towards me, his hands resting on my shoulders, this caused me to look up at him, just like my mum said, the way he looked at me, it gave everything away, he actually looked soft at this moment and concerned. I didn't even know if I could believe that. "Astrid, don't tell me you don't feel the same, is it not obvious the tension that is between us? Don't deny it."
I couldn't deny it, I did feel it. But, I couldn't feel anything other than guilt and sadness for Michelle at this moment. I wasn't sure what to do.