Long chapter
The two remained silent, still in each others embraces, as they healed spiritually and emotionally. There was still questions to be asked and stories to be revealed as the time they spent apart was too big of a space to fill with just the emptying of their hearts. But neither took the lead to ask those inquiries nor did they make the move to make space between them.
Though Yn had yet to decide her verdict on the situation, they both knew they needed time to bask in each other's presences and heal the bond that would fluctuating once again. This would be the last lifeline if a detrimental choice was made, for what Yn's chooses would entail a butterfly effect on their future, their relationship and the pack itself. So just for a little while more, the two wished to escape from the complicated lives they held and just be normal.
And though the two were quiet on the outside, it didn't mean it was the same for their inner souls. Right now, both minds were at war with each other, trying to weigh each choice they had and draw a conclusion from that. Having, your heart, mind, soul and being saying all different things was truly a force to be reckoned with. It was an unattainable power, like the unstoppable force of a storm verses a small fishing boat. One clear with who would come out victorious. One that would leave the other completely obliterated in to specs of dust.
However, as time passed the silence naturally fizzled away as the questions and answers were hard to contain. "I've made my decision." Yn finally spoke. Her voice was full of conviction as what felt like hours of battling with herself came to an end.
Jimin released Yn from his hold, face holding a small smile as he too made his decision. Whatever she would choose, Jimin was ready for it. He knew that if she chose to take a break from everything, he would happily give her some space. Whilst, if she was going to break the last of their connection, he would respect her decision and hope somewhere in the future they could mend their relationship or at least remain friends. However, there was one choice Jimin was afraid of. And if she was to choose that choice, he wondered if he would readily accept it.
"Listen to the end, okay? I want to explain my choice too instead of just a few words exchange."
Jimin nodded in understanding seeing nothing wrong with what she was saying. In fact, he preferred it. Rather than a short answer he would get a full one so he wouldn't have to wonder why she came to that decision.
"I truly do love you and believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but at the same time I can't seem to bring myself to forgive you. It's like I know I have to forgive you and I want to but somethings holding me back. And that something is trusting you. Trusting that this was a one time thing. Trusting that you won't just abandon me again. And trusting that I can bare everything out to you without feeling that I'm going to get judged or worse. That's the type of relationship I have always admired and it's the one I want between us. Something much deeper than just love and the mate bond. Something that has the stability. Knowing we can bounce back effortlessly from fights and support each other through thick and thin. And because of that, I can't promise you that we can go back to how we were and pretend like this never happened. I want us to build up that trust and stable ground first, before I jump back into anything. So what I'm saying is, I won't reject you but I also don't feel comfortable going back to how we were before, therefore we'll meet in the middle. We'll give it time and see how it goes."
Yn shut her eye's immediately after saying her piece expecting some type of negative reaction or his wolf spiralling out of control, but nothing came. Instead, she was welcomed with an unexpected reaction of Jimin hugging her and replying with a barrage of thank you's.
"Thank you so much. I'm so happy you decided that route. I would have hated it if you had forgave me so easily."
"Huh?" Yn involuntarily sounded, taken back by the sudden confession.
"Don't get me wrong." He paused, shaking his hands frantically as he tried to control his outburst. "I love you more than you could ever know and also want a deeper relationship with you - to be someone more than just your mate and husband. However, using the silence as a time to think I realised just how selfish and uncalled for my actions were and know that I have to work to get you back by my side, for good this time. And because of that, if you had just forgiven me, I would have this bad feeling within me, knowing that all I did was cause you to suffer and didn't get my own 'punishment', if you would call it that. I want to gain you back with my own power, and not just because you felt the need to. I want you to accept me back when you want to and when you think I can be trusted, no matter how long that will take. I'm willing to wait."
Jimin's face lit up as he smiled a genuine smile, one that hid no secret or tension- he truly meant what he said. And Yn wasn't sure what it was, but somewhere deep in her heart she knew that Jimin would keep his word this time and that all these hardships had been for a reason. That, as much as she wished it never happened, it was something vital for them to move on from there pasts and build a new them -remnants chipped into their new forms from their old- and one much stronger than the last. This was their story and they were ready to get a hold of the reign and steer their fate in the direction they want. No more letting the world choose their fate, it was in their hands now.
. . .
It was like a breath of new air as a warm draft tangled around the two who were smiling brighter than ever. And though small shivers ran down their spines, the warmth of what felt like a child's hand remained on their shoulders before feeling the same warmth momentarily on their cheeks. And though to most it would creep them out, to Jimin and YN it felt like a common gesture from someone they held close wishing them the best. And when Yn lifted her hand, seeing Jimin doing the same to the place where the brief butterfly sensation was on her cheek, she knew instantly it was their cheeky cheerleader's mischief and her final good luck from her.
She couldn't stop the smile growing on her face, catching the attention of Jimin who was confused at the large grin. But as her lips moved, a familiar name coming out from them, her smile became contagious despite him not knowing why it did something to him. "Jaemin.."
And when the spell broke momentarily, seeing the tears well up in Yn's eyes, Jimin was able to gain back control over his instincts as he carefully pat Yn's shoulder, knowing it would calm her down and stop any tears from falling, whilst keeping to the boundaries she made. They both had enough water works for the day, if not for a lifetime, both silently agreeing they only wanted to shed tears of happiness from now on.
"Who's Jaemin?"Jimin finally asked, as Yn's eyes cleared from the liquid, none falling, and her hands returning back to her lap. "Huh?" She questioned, clearly caught of guard by the sudden question. " You mention the name when you first woke up. And now too." And though Jimin tried to stop the small tinge of jealousy he felt, Jaemin being a unisex name, the emotion had seeped it's way through his words getting to Yn, who caught on to instantly.
She bit her lip, hiding the knowing smile as she narrowed her eyes at him, voice full of tease, "Aww, is someone jealous?"
"Nope. Absolutely not." Jimin replied quickly. Too quickly.
Yn raised her eyebrow, eyes scanning his facial features that were drowning in hidden jealousy, as he avoided eyes contact trying to act coy about his bad acting. "Oh really? Then why are acting like this?"
"Acting like what? I'm perfectly normal."
"Normal, huh?"
"Yep. And stop changing the subject. Who's Jaemin? Is it a boy?-"
"Calm down. It's the name I gave to our baby girl." Yn interrupted, stopping before he went into a spiral of never ending mumbling, just dragging on a conversation that could end with a few words.
With Yn's confession, Jimin's face softened, his body going lax and aura now emitting sadness. This was something he hadn't heard before seeing as the gender was attainable at the stage she was in. " Baby girl? How do you-" "Know? I met her that's why."
Yn watched as Jimins eyes furrowed as he looked at her in confusion. Who wouldn't? Telling someone you saw your unborn child and got to talk to them. No one would believe that. But much to her surprise Jimin didn't laugh at her or ask for a doctor, he just sat quiet waiting for her to speak.
And it was at that time, did she see that Jimin had grown slightly. He had started to listen to others, instead of taking control all time- being an Alpha was the main contributor to this- and making sure his plans were going through always. Whatever or whoever had sparked this change in him, Yn was grateful too. It just made her feel much more confident in wanting to be herself again. One not controlled by anything or anyone.
Yn saw no reason to hide it from him, explaining everything from her waking up in the weird black blob of darkness to seeing her dead pack for the last time. She told him everything in as much detail as she could, explaining even the finest of details.
And he listened, not saying anything, as he took in everything that was being said. Imaging everything with closed eyes, as she explained the beautiful child that had grown in front of her mother, someone both mature and childish. A girl that Jimin knew was his, with the same eye shape and smile, yet the hair and nose of Yn. He continued the imagining everything, even as the story came to an end and Yn had stopped speaking.
"So that was her? The warm air we just felt?" He asked, hand returning to touch the places he felt the warm 'air' brush past. "I think so. She also told me to tell you that she loves you and that she doesn't blame any of us either. And wants us to be happy." Yn reminded herself as she remembered the last words that Jaemin spoke to her. "And we will be. We'll be happy and she'll forever be in our memories." YN nodded with Jimin, still taken a back that he believed her so easily. But nonetheless so she was happy.
"Jaemin? I like the name. I think it suit her well too. You did a good job." He added as put his hand out for a high five, one he quickly received as Yn nodded in agreement. "I'm surprised too. I guess when they say their name defines them they aren't wrong." Jimin hums in agreement as he looks out the window at the night sky. His eye's catching on to the moon, which was brighter than ever before and he could have sworn for a moment he saw a shadow of a little girl with her thumbs up, smiling brightly- her eyes disappearing- before it disappeared and became a pure white moon again.
"Yes, she truly is the Gift of God."
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Note: Meaning of the name Jaemin is Gift of god or beautiful lady.
Also this dragged on too long so next chapter (hopefully) we can put the secrets to the end.
Thanks for reading.