“Dean don’t. You always lose.”
“(y/n) don’t worry. I got this.”
“Alright just so were clear,” Sam said. “Whoever wins get’s to choose dinner. I win, we get salads. Dean wins, we get cheesy triangles of grease and fat.”
“Hey Winchester,” you said. “I may eat more pizza than most people do in their lifetime, but I can still run faster than you.”
“That was one time!” Sam exclaimed. “And the wind was blowing against me and my knee was banged up from the day before and-”
“Sounds like a lot of excuses to me, Sammy,” Dean scoffed.
“Well it doesn’t matter because I’m gonna win like I always do. Let’s go. (y/n) call it.”
“Uggh,” you sighed. “Okay ready? Rock, paper, scissors shoot!” Dean played scissors, like he always does, and Sam, knowing Dean would use scissors, played rock.
“Ha I knew it!” Sam laughed.
“Why do you always use scissors!” you yelled as you began to bombard Dean with punches.
“I do not always play scissors!”
“Yes you do! And now I have to eat green food!” you said with despair as you threw yourself onto one of the beds.
“And on that note,” Sam said as he picked up the car keys.“I will be on my way. And don’t worry (y/n) I’ll make sure yours is extra green,” he laughed, easily dodging the pillow you threw at him as he walked out the door.
“Well, that could have gone better,” Dean said, laughing nervously as he sat down next to you. You turned to him and punched him as hard as possible in the shoulder. “Ow! What was that for!”
“For being predictable! And you’re not allowed to represent us in rock paper scissors anymore,” you said burying your face back into the bed.
~time skip~
“How do people eat this stuff,” Dean said examining the food Sam brought.
“Sam do you hate us?” you said as you poked at the food before you.
“What? No! I’m just trying to help you guys out, eating one healthy meal won’t kill you,” he said taking a bite of his salad. “And it’s a chicken wrap,not a salad so you guy’s will like it.”
“No Sammy, this,” Dean said pointing at his food, “is a salad.”
“No it’s not,” Sam sighed.
“Sam putting a tortilla around a salad doesn’t keep it from being a salad. This is just a salad trying to trick people into thinking that it’s not a salad. It’s an imposter,” you said still poking the food.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s either this or nothing,” Sam said as he continued to munch happily on his salad. Giving in to hunger, you and Dean both ended up eating the so-called food. However, an hour later the three of you weren’t feeling so well and things just got progressively worse from there. By the time 12am rolled around Sam was sprawled out on the floor, Dean was sinking into the couch, and you were laying on the couch with your head resting in Dean’s lap.
“I think I’m dying,” you said.
“Me too,” came a muffled reply from the floor.
“Me three,” Dean said as he tried to concentrate on the wall instead of the throbbing in his head. Suddenly Cas appeared in the room with a flutter of wings.
“I hope that’s Cas,” Sam said not moving from his faceplanted position, “cos I really don’t think I can kill an angel at this point.
“There will be no need for that Sam,” Cas replied as he looked over the three of you with concern.
“What’s up Cas?” Dean asked as he shifted to face the angel, causing you to groan in pain from the movement.
“I came to warn Sam not to eat any lettuce in the surrounding area. It is contaminated and he seems to consume large amounts of it and I wanted to warn him,” Cas said. You suddenly stood up and put your hand over your mouth and mumbled “nope nope nope” as you rushed to the bathroom.
“It appears I may be too late,” Cas said and the sounds of you being sick filled the motel room. Hearing you caused Sam to become sick as well and he ran in the bathroom to join you. Dean knew he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom and grabbed the nearest trashcan just in time.
“Is it as bad as it looks?” Cas asked with a tilt of his head.
“Worse,” Dean miserably replied.
“Well, it is a good thing I can fix it.” Dean looked up from his bucket of sick as Cas touched his forehead, a wave of relief flowing over him. Cas then walked to bathroom to find Sam heaving into the toilet with you holding back his hair as you tried to stay standing even though your head was spinning. Cas healed you first and you plopped down on the side of the tub, thankful that you could see straight again. He then fixed Sam who stayed kneeling on the floor as he tried to understand how his beloved salad could betray him.
“I’m never even going to look at lettuce again,” you sighed as you ran your hand over your face.
“Hey Sammy, what was that about ‘a healthy meal wouldn’t kill us’?” Dean smirked as he leaned against the door frame.
“Shut up.”