LONG CHAPTER
Jimin listened with a heavy heart as YN freed the last of what weight was drowning her. He sat quietly, not saying anything or stopping her as she slammed her fists against his chest after every confession. The fact that she was suffering so deeply and Jimin hadn't noticed, was a pain much deeper and ever-lasting compared to the possible bruises that would form on his beaten skin. The beating he was taking was nothing compared to the pain that YN had suffered due to his negligence, therefore he sat there without mentioning the pain he felt seeing her so broken or the stinging pain he felt in his chest.
And as YN started to calm, words no longer leaving her mouth, Jimin tightens his arms around her as her head sinks in to his chest exhausted from laying her heart out in only a few breaths. He placed his chin on top of her head, as he slowly rubbed her back in comfort- comfort he had neglected over the course of the few week he had disappeared- before humming a tune he knew YN loved as her hiccups lessened. And when it became relatively silent again, Jimin took his chance to free the emotion he too was holding in and finally give the answers that YN was waiting for.
"I was scared." He started, pausing so he could check YN was listening and hadn't fallen asleep. As much as he was happy for her to get some sleep, he also knew if he didn't speak now then his side of the story would forever remain buried. This was the only time he felt it was right to speak without feeling judged, and it was the only time he felt like he had gained the courage to do so. So when he heard a small hum from Yn, showing she was listening, he continued.
"I was scared of what would happen if we were to go to war against Jumoon." He closed his eye's as he thought back to the many thoughts that had crossed his mind when more evidence started to pop up regarding Jumoon's wrong doings. He could remember clearly looking at those papers with disbelief as the brother he once look up to had changed. Changed for the worst.
"As much as I believe you and Roxy about what he had done, I still couldn't help but think somewhere somethings wrong. That somewhere some sort of miscommunication had malfunctioned and this was all a misunderstanding. I mean, he was such a perfect brother to me. And such a perfect man to everyone else. I just couldn't believe everything." Jimin revealed, stopping for a while for Yn to speak. But when he noticed that she wasn't going to comment on anything and was going to let him talk, he continued. He was truly grateful for her. And it was why he was going to let everything out now.
"Being an Alpha's son, I was expected to be perfect all the time. Even though I wasn't supposed to be direct in line for the Alpha position, I was still expected to work and act like I was training to be one. And the reason for it was, to be prepared to take over if something happened to Jumoon. So granted, I was trained from the first day I could walked in simple combat and then as days passed the simple combat evolved into full training. By the age of 8, I was already doing courses expected of a 20 year old." Jimin sighed as the memories of the harsh training he had to endure, with the fresh tears - that he wasn't allowed to show- which would course down his face when he was finally alone.
"When I first shifted into my wolf, everyone was thrilled considering Jumoon was a late bloomer and I was the first to shift. If I thought by shifting things would let up, however, I was absolutely naive." Jimin chuckled to himself as he thought back to the day he had shifted. It had happened randomly during a mock fight, which had to be suspended because he was in no shape to be fighting whilst his bones were relocating and cracking. It had happened in front of everyone in the training ground, Jumoon included, and the looks that everyone had was forever etched in his mind.
The image of Jumoon getting mocking glares from everyone was the most vivid. He could remember people whispering about how Jumoon wasn't worthy to be an Alpha because he was a late bloomer. And also the times they would compare him to Jimin. That day remained strong and in high quality in his mind as it replayed like it was just happened a few minutes ago.
When he had first stood in his wolf form, everyone was smiling and congratulating him except Jumoon. Jumoon was the only one that day who wasn't smiling. In fact, he was angry. And till this day Jimin didn't know why he was so angry. It was like he had been betrayed deeply.
"But his anger didn't last long. The next day, everything had gone back to normal between us. My training had gotten much harsher and was held for longer times due to the extra training for my wolf. But no matter how hard it was, I never complained as Jumoon was always there with me. He would encourage me whenever I would fall, bring homemade sandwiches and sneak them over to me through training, and he would carry me home on the days I was too tired to do so. No matter how exhausted he was from his training or the day in general, he would always come to see me and allow me experience more thing, at times forcing our parents to tag along too saying that bonding as a family was more important than anything else. He was a prefect hyung, mentor and perfect soon to be Alpha."
Yn felt the way Jimins hand tightened around her as he held onto her like a life line. And it didn't take much of a genius to know he was thinking back to that day. The day everything went down hill.
"It was because of that, no one expected him to do what he did the next day." The image of that day were still freshly engrave in Jimin's mind. The day everything went downhill. The day Jumoon betrayed the pack and killed his parents.
"You know, even when everyone told me he had killed our father and was the one who was attacking the pack, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it and thought everyone was saying this just to trick me. I couldn't believe that my brother would do such a thing. Especially since he always talked about the importance of family. I didn't believe it until I saw him through the window, covered in blood as he took down our own warriors. It wasn't until he had stalked up to our dad's dead body and kicked it, did I realise that the Jumoon that I knew and loved wasn't alive anymore. And it it's place was a monster."
But as Jimin said those words, Yn couldn't hear the pain behind them and knew that even if Jimin tried to convince himself that Jumoon was no longer the same brother he knew, a part of him was still holding on to the small hope that he would return and be the brother he loved. The brother that was the last of his blood relatives.
"But even though I saw him as a monster that day, I could see the pain in his eye's when he looked at me that same day." Jimin continued. At this point he had forgotten why he was saying all this and was just letting everything out, no matter if it would help him in explaining his reason or not.
"I remember how a small noise had left my mouth when I saw what he did and it had caught his attention. He had looked towards me in shock before he control his feature, before he started to walk towards me. But having seen what I did, I stepped back from him in fear. The pain I saw in his eyes that day, till this day always haunts me. It was like the last shred of happiness and hope had been ripped from him. And I couldn't understand why. He was clearly covered in blood, which most likely belong to his own father, yet his eyes held regret and helplessness. It was like he wanted someone to save him yet he was holding back for some reason."
Yn hummed, understanding Jimin as the image popped in her mind of the eyes Jimin described. They reminded her of the eyes that Jumoon had when the two were talking. They were screaming out for help and held so much secret pain, it was sickening.
"But before he could do anything else, he retreated as our pack reinforcements arrived, driving the enemy group back. As he was retreating back, dragged by someone I don't remember, I heard his voice once more in my mind link before it shut. -: If only you could remain innocent forever, then maybe we could have all remained happy:-
Yn eyes crashed in confusion before they sky rocketed as her explanation for Jumoon's actions became even more solid. No, she would go as far as saying her theory was 100% correct. But even so she kept her mouth zipped as Jimin started to talk once more.
"You must be wondering why I said all this and what it has got to do with my actions. But believe me or not, my thoughts started with this." Jimin explained.
"At first, I just wanted to find out the answer to why Jumoon was like this. What had turned him into what he is now. And hopefully if I could find the explanation then I could stop him from coming for you." Yn felt the hand on her back, pause it's circling and was now moving up to her shoulders. She felt a small gentle push on her shoulders as her body straightened up, no longer lying on Jimin but instead in front of him. He was speaking directly to her.
"But slowly when I continued to hit wall after wall, no explanation making sense, I turned to thinking about what would happen if he was to be captured. Would he be killed? And if so who would do the killing? And when those thoughts started to circulate in my mind, I realised that what if he is never caught. His main target is you, so that means that he could come an k-kill you or take you away, which means that I would then be the one who would kill him. Me kill my own brother? I knew I could never do that." Jimin's voice cracked, Yn realising that his eyes were filling with tears.
"I thought if I could find a solution, one that meant that no one gets hurt, then I could stop myself from feeling so torn in having to choose between you two. Because I truly love you both. Jumoon as my brother and you as my mate and lover. And as selfish as it sounded I wanted to hold onto to you both. Hold on to the two people who formed my past and future. And I knew I could never ask you to forgive him for what he did and I knew Cassie and everyone affected couldn't either, but I wanted to have both my brother and mate by my side. So instead of talking to someone and asking for help, I started to distance myself. I thought distancing myself and making myself busy, would distract my thoughts and I would get some peace of mind, but it didn't help at all. You have no idea how irresistible you are Yn. How hard it was to try and make distance between us when all I wanted to do was stay glued to you." Jimin's fingers danced over YN's cheeks lovingly, looking at her face through his blurry sight.
"And now I realised that I should have listened to my instincts and stayed glued to you instead of trying to follow what I thought was right. And now because of my stupid, stupid thinking, not only did I break your trust in me, I miss out on a special announcement, in effect broke promises I made and killed my own flesh and blood. Not to mention, all those injuries that all could have been avoidable if only I stayed by your side."
Tears streamed down Jimin's face as he cried out admitting to all of his wrongdoings, holding onto Yn as she too cried with him. The two melted into each other, eye's wet, nose running and cries in sync as they both broke down the last of their walls that they had held up from the beginning. Revealing the last of their emotional scars for the other to feel and adore, hearts finally letting go of the burden that rested on it. And though Jimin didn't know what Yn's response was to whether she would forgive him or not, he was content holding her in his arms once again and finally alleviating the burden of himself and her. And he was certain for whatever the future held for them both, they'll face it together and grow as soulmates and lovers.
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This is not the end of the story!
Do you'll think Yn will forgive? And how was Jimin's explanation? How would you have dealt with Jimin's situation? Lover or sibling? Do let me know, it's nice to hear different opinions.
We also got to learn a bit more about Jumoon too. The last clue for his motive is in this chapter. Next chapter Yn will hopefully reveal it to everyone, or will she hide it? Who knows?
Thanks for reading!