:: Emma's POV ::
It was Monday morning as I shuffled around the kitchen trying to get Noah's lunch packed for school and clean up the breakfast dishes before it was time to leave. If there was one thing that drove me crazy, it was a sink full of dirty dishes. Maybe it was the fact I was somewhat of a neat freak, but I hated it.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Noah came running into the kitchen, "JJ's on TV!"
Before I knew it Noah had grabbed my hand, pulling me out to the television where the NFL Network flickered on the TV screen. Noah always insisted on watching either ESPN or NFL Network while eating his breakfast. Sometimes I swore there was a 30 year old man living in his body.
"You missed it, go back go back!" Noah urged me to rewind back to the part he wanted me to see.
What did we ever do workout all this DVR business? I felt myself growing anxious, but I was glad to see JJ's face on the screen. They had an away game yesterday and left for Carolina on Thursday, so I hadn't seen him since Wednesday night. I missed him.
"Stop! Stop!" Noah had let me know that we reached the beginning of what he wanted me to see.
"Okay, go brush your teeth sweetie. We've got to get ready to go." I always made Noah brush his teeth again after he ate, especially before school.
Noah's shoulders slumped as he exited the room. I listened to make sure I heard his footsteps going up the stairs, as soon as I had, I returned my focus to the television and the interview with JJ.
The reporter had asked JJ about his personal life, dating and relationships and I was on the edge of my seat. I had no idea what was going to come out of his mouth and I guess I was curious. Maybe this was the moment I was waiting for. The moment I got the confirmation I needed; that he was mine. We had never put a title on anything, maybe titles were juvenile. I didn't know, I had been out of the dating game for a while; I wasn't sure how things worked half the time. I admit I found the idea of asking a question as simple as "will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" a little amusing. I felt like that was something you wrote in a note you passed during class in grade school, "Will you go out with me? Check yes or no."; I didn't know why, it just seemed like things were different when you got older.
I do know JJ's response was not one I had ever expected, I felt my heart sink faster than a lead balloon and I began to question everything that had occurred over the course of the last two months. I felt betrayed, let down, lead on... you name it, I was feeling it.
"I'm not interested in having a relationship; I'm only interested in playing football. Chasing greatness, that's what motivates me. I have my whole life to worry about the other stuff."
I felt the tears well in my eyes as JJ's words echoed in head, over and over. How could he? How dare he. I was so good at keeping my heart closed up; everything was so good with me and Noah. Why did JJ have to waltz into our lives and mess with that? It was better when we were watching him do his thing from the safety of our own couch. At least that way I could still ogle over how handsome and dreamy he is without the worry of being hurt.
I heard Noah coming down the stairs and I quickly turned the TV off and wiped the tears from my eyes. There was no way I was going to let Noah see me like that, I would never tell him how much of a jerk JJ was.
"You ready dude? We don't want to be late." I walked into the foyer to meet Noah at the bottom of the staircase.
I helped him slip on his little lightweight coat before putting mine on. He grabbed his Ninja Turtle backpack off of the padded bench and I grabbed my handbag from the coat hook.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as we prepared to walk out the front door. I looked at the screen to see JJ's name light up, I wanted to say so much but I knew it wasn't the time or the place. Not in front of Noah.
I took a deep breath and hit the ignore button, it was going to have to wait. I pulled the door closed behind me and walked to my car. I already wanted this day to be over and it was just barely getting started.
The drive to Noah's school was rather quiet, Noah watched Toy Story on the headrest TV and my mind couldn't help but to wander. I felt so much anger and so much hurt, I wasn't sure which emotion was fueling me more at this point.
I pulled up to the drop off zone of Noah's school and he got ready to hop out, "Love you bud, have a good day at school, ok?"
"Ok." He nodded as he unhooked his seatbelt, "Is JJ comin over today?"
I felt like I was just punched in the gut, I took a deep breath and answered calmly, "I don't think so. I'm sure he's going to be really tired."
I cringed at those words. I hated that Noah was going to be hurt, it wasn't just about me.
"Ok." His voice seemed disappointed and it killed me.
Noah hopped out of the car and ran to the door of the school. I watched to make sure he made it safely before dropping my head between my hands onto the steering wheel. The tears began to flow and there was nothing I could do to even try to stop them. I was feeling so much heartache and I hated myself for getting involved with anyone. For making the mistake of letting my guard down, I should've known better.
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:: Emma's POV ::
"You ok?" Tonya's voice was comforting as she handed me a glass of wine before sitting beside me on the couch.
I looked over at my best friend to see her concerned brown eyes looking me over as if she was trying to figure me out. After I put Noah to bed she had come over to keep me company, to let me vent to her about everything that was on my mind.
I sighed, "I don't know."
That was the truth, I really didn't know. It was a lot to take in. Things had changed in an instant; I didn't even see it coming. I think that was the worst part about it all.
"What happened?" Tonya shifted in her seat, as if she needed to prepare herself to hear what I had to say.
I ran my fingers through my long hair and pulled it over my left shoulder. Once again fidgeting with my hair was something I did when I was upset, it was calming to me.
"He said he isn't interested in a relationship." My words came out quickly, I had hoped the quicker I said it the less it would hurt.
"What?" Tonya seemed just as shocked as I was by those words.
I nodded, "Exactly my reaction."
"He told you this?" She asked, still not believing that it was possible.
"I saw his interview... they asked him questions about it and that was his answer." I shrugged.
I looked at my phone and immediately flipped it over when my eyes landed on the background. It was a photo we had taken at my father's birthday party. I was sitting on JJ's lap and Noah was sitting on mine, Jillian had thought it was the cutest thing ever and had taken the photo of the three of us. I loved it; it even hung on the bulletin board in my office.
"But, have you talked to him?" Tonya's voice broke my thoughts and I shook my head.
He had been calling me all day and I had ignored every call, I just couldn't deal with it. I didn't have the energy to deal with it. I was still trying to process everything.
"Em, you need to talk to him. Maybe you took things out of context." Tonya tried to be the voice of reason, she always did.
"Nothing was out of context; his words were clear as day." I insisted, "Watch it for yourself and you'll see. I'm usually a reasonable person Tonya; you know that... those words hit me like arrows on a target."
A knock on the door sounded through the foyer and I felt my heart stop. It was JJ, it had to be. He was the only one that knew enough to knock at this hour so that Noah wouldn't be disturbed by the doorbell.
"Is it him?" Tonya looked at me as I set my wine glass on the coffee table.
I nodded and got up. I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer the door or not. I really didn't know what I was going to say, I didn't even know if I wanted to say anything. I didn't want him to see me so upset; I didn't want him to know what he was capable of doing to me.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. He stood there with his hands in the pockets of his gray sweatpants that hung loosely from his hips, his red zip up hoodie clinging to his muscles and a red Texans hat covering his blond hair. I knew that opening the door was against my better judgment, he made me so weak and I wanted to jump on him so badly and tell him how much I missed him.
"I've been calling you, are you okay?" He pulled his hands out of his pockets and stepped towards me in attempts to wrap his arms around me, "I've been worried sick."
"Don't." I held my hand up, keeping him at an arm's length.
He looked at me, confusion on his face, "Emma... what's wrong baby?"
"I think you should go." I avoided his eyes at all costs; I knew if I saw them, it was over for me.
"Are you mad at me?" His confusion grew, "Did I do something wrong?"
"Please, just go." I fought the quiver in my voice.
He stood there, completely speechless and I shut the door. I placed my forehead against the cool metal of the door, squeezing my eyes closed as tightly as I could as if I was trying to get the picture of him standing there out of my mind.
I turned resting my back against the door; I couldn't fight the tears anymore. They poured out like a faucet as I slid down the length of the door, tucking my knees against my chest. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get that picture of him out of my mind. The way he looked at me, I didn't understand.
Just hours ago he claimed he wanted nothing to do with a relationship, that he had his whole life for that. How could he come here like this and put me in this situation?
:: JJ's POV ::
"Are you mad at me?" I didn't understand what was going on, I was searching for answers any way I could, "Did I do something wrong?"
"Please just go." I heard the hurt in her voice and I wanted to harm whoever put it there but all I got was a door in my face.
What the hell just happened?
I stood there in complete shock; I didn't even know what was going on. I had just gotten in from Carolina and all I wanted to do was come home to her. I just wanted to hold her; I never knew I could feel this way about anyone.
Was she mad at me? Did I hurt her? I couldn't understand where any of this was coming from. None of it made any sense to me.
I turned and walked down the porch steps; my heart was in my stomach. I took a deep breath as I opened my car door and got in. I looked at the house before I drove away, I couldn't help but to feel like my whole world was behind those four walls. I couldn't lose that. I wouldn't lose that.