Type got out of meeting Tharn the next few weeks by making the excuse of his dates with Kemp. It wasn't even a complete lie because he had been trying to give dating Kemp a chance when he saw how supportive and understanding he was of his situation. He had indeed hung out with him over the weekends. He wouldn't go so far as to call them dates, because it just felt like they were chilling together, like they had been for a month prior to them officially dating.
Type still felt a little guilty about not having even a little bit of a change in his feelings for him but Kemp had reassured him that he was fine and ready to wait. Even with that reassurance, the guilt was still ever present in Type.
°°°
Type sat at his desk on a Wednesday afternoon, trying to come up with the perfect excuse to give Tharn when he texted him because he always texted him on Wednesdays to ask him to hang out on the weekend. It had been their ritual since the beginning of college.
The last time he had told Tharn that Kemp and him were going on a date to a theme park, when in actuality, they just played video-games in his house. He was a little scared of how good he was getting at lying to Tharn. Especially when Tharn didn't even question him. He never even pushed. He had been drowning in a pool of guilt because of it, but he saw no other way out. He stared at the cork board in front of his study desk, knowing he had to come up with something different this time. Something that sounded real. He searched his brain for an excuse and came up with a genius one after a moment of contemplation.
He decided he was going to tell Tharn that Kemp was taking him out for a dinner date. He figured it would be more impactful if he said that it was a romantic dinner date, but even the thought of forming those words with his mouth made him cringe. That, in turn, made him feel guilty again because Kemp had been nothing but patient with him and even calling their date romantic made Type's hackles rise in rejection of the notion.
He sat staring at his phone and checked the time to see it was 9 PM. He knew a text would come any minute so he kept his phone unlocked as he continued to gaze at his screen.
He watched the minutes pass as he woke his phone up every time it went to sleep. At the 9:10 PM mark, he changed the settings on his phone to remove the automatic sleep feature. He stared at his phone unblinkingly again. He started to get a little agitated at the 9:20 PM mark and checked to see if his messaging app and internet connectivity were working okay to find nothing out of place.
He sighed and placed the phone down on the table with the screen on as he decided to stop procrastinating and finish an assignment till Tharn texted him. He figured being productive would at least keep him distracted from staring down at his screen every few seconds.
He glanced at the phone at every minute mark to see that he had no messages so he decided to put his ringer at the maximum volume so he doesn't miss Tharn's message and went back to his assignment. He figured Tharn would eventually text him and staring at the phone over and over again wasn't letting him concentrate on his actual assignment.
He sat clacking away at his laptop and cracked his knuckles when he finished the assignment. He was quite surprised how fast he got through it and he stared back at his phone to see if Tharn had messaged him only to be met by an empty notification bar. His eyes finally fell on the time and he was audibly surprised as he leaned back to see that it was already 2 AM. He opened his messaging app again to see if it was glitching and found nothing wrong with it again.
He had an urge to text Tharn first to ask if he was okay because this was really out of character for him. For the almost two years that they've known each other, he'd always get a text from Tharn on Wednesdays and this was the first Wednesday where he hadn't heard a thing from him.
He opened Tharn's chat box and started typing out a message but he stopped himself once he had typed out the first two words. He knew he had to refrain himself from texting Tharn because it would mean that he would put himself in the exact situation he didn't want to be in. Tharn would definitely ask him to hang out with him.
Type sighed and locked his phone. He turned off his laptop and headed to bed, extremely tired from finishing a whole assignment that was due next month in one sitting. He felt like he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but the thought of Tharn not sending him a single text was nagging him in the back of his mind. He reached for his phone one last time to check if he had a message to see that there were no notifications. He locked his phone and put it away again as he closed his eyes to try to sleep.
But sleep evaded him the whole night as he watched his room slowly being bathed in the early light of the orange sun rays, unblinkingly staring at his empty phone screen.
°°°
Type was still feeling uneasy on Saturday, as he sat across the table from Kemp at a restaurant. He hadn't slept well for three days and felt his vision faltering as he looked down at the menu. He was really bothered by the fact that Tharn had not texted him at all the whole week. He wondered if he should have just texted Tharn instead of waiting for a text from him.
"What do you want to eat?" Kemp asked to break Type from his thoughts. Type looked at him and saw the smile on his face which made him feel really guilty because he was on a 'date' with him but his mind was on Tharn. He quickly scanned the menu for the first thing he could see. "French fries."
"What? Just french fries? You don't want something more filling?" Kemp asked, a little surprised. Type felt like he should have paid more attention because his unthought out response easily gave away that he wasn't fully present at that moment. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention," he said sheepishly. Kemp almost immediately understood what he meant and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's okay. Take your time."
Type gave him a small, apologetic smile and stared down at the menu again as his vision blurred once more when his mind went back to thinking about Tharn. "You're spacing out again. You can tell me if something is bothering you, you know," Kemp said, making Type suddenly stare up at him. He felt a stab of discomfort assault his innards. "I'm sorry. It's nothing," Type said as he looked back down at his menu, willing himself to actually read what was on it this time around.
"Is it Tharn again?" Kemp asked. Type snapped his head up to look at Kemp and saw he had a small knowing smile on his face and the knife in his body twisted a little more. He couldn't believe that Kemp was so understanding and ready to talk about Tharn without flinching once. Type figured that, if he were in a similar situation with someone he was dating, he would probably not handle it so well and take it in stride like Kemp was doing. He felt like he owed Kemp the truth for that reason alone as he sighed. "Yeah. He didn't text me last week."
"What? Really?" Kemp asked, surprised. Type knew in the moment that it was really weird that Tharn didn't text him and not just him being hypersensitive to the fact because of his feelings for him when he saw Kemp's reaction to that news. "Yeah. He always texts me to ask about hanging out every week without fail. Even when I was not free when I started dating Nicolette. He'd at least ask. It feels weird to not text him for a whole week," Type said, feeling a little dejected.
"Yeah, it is weird. Do you think he's feeling a little left out because you've been making excuses not to see him for weeks now?" Kemp asked. Type furrowed his brows as he gave that a thought. He felt really guilty about if that was the reason why. He never wanted Tharn to feel like that. He wondered why his reaction was so different this time because he was dating someone now, much like he was when he was with Nicolette. That never stopped Tharn from at least texting him every week. "I don't know. It makes no sense. Do you think he really feels like that?"
"I don't know. I'm just guessing. Why don't you ask him?" Kemp suggested which made Type's blood run cold. He really didn't want to broach that topic with Tharn. He also didn't want to be the first person to text him. Tharn had always been the one to take the initiative and Type had somehow settled into that familiar rhythm. The thought of approaching Tharn first, especially with his newly discovered feelings for him making him all loopy, didn't sound like a pleasant idea to Type at all. "I don't know. I don't know if I even want to know," he said honestly which made Kemp chuckle.
"I thought you wanted to save your friendship with him. How are you going to do that if you cower at the thought of sending him a simple text?" Kemp asked with a smile. Type looked at him for a while, seeing Kemp in a different light. He was a literal saint. It didn't seem to bother him to talk about Type's obvious problems he was facing with someone he had feelings for and still wanted to keep in his life. He realised that he needed to really give Kemp the chance he deserved and smiled back at him. "I'll think about it later. Let's forget about that now and concentrate on our date," Type said which made Kemp break into a happy grin. Type, for the first time, felt like he was concentrating in fully investing in Kemp and it made him feel like less of the horrible person he had been feeling like for weeks.
°°°
Type stood at the lobby of the main academic building with his phone in his hand. It was Tuesday and he knew that the next day was the day Tharn would text him. Or, rather, may text him. It had been over a week since they had talked and Type was feeling really uneasy about not being in contact with him for so long. This time was different because when he had his melt down after they slept together for the first time, he had a solid reason to not talk to Tharn, but they really had no issue they were tackling at the moment. At least not on Tharn's part because Type was the one battling his feelings for Tharn. But Tharn didn't know about that and Type was utterly confused as to why Tharn didn't even try to contact him.
He opened up Tharn's chat box and stared at their last conversation from two weeks ago, feeling like his chest was being compressed by the words that stared back at him. He didn't know how to even start. He wondered if he should just wait till the next day and see if Tharn texts him first because the thought of texting Tharn first was scaring him shitless.
"Type!"
Type looked up from his phone screen at the direction the voice came from to see it was Kemp. He was standing at the entrance of the lobby and smiling at him. He felt relief pour into him at the sight before his eyes because he had once again saved him from his mental plight. He knew he could talk it out with him and everything would be alright. Kemp always made everything alright.
He smiled back at him as Kemp made his way to him, his smile getting brighter the closer he got. Type's mind already felt a little at ease so he grinned back at him as brightly. He was really happy he chose to date Kemp. He was not only selflessly helping Type out of his situation, but also was the nicest and most understanding boyfriend one could ask for. He decided to give Kemp a real chance at that moment.
"Why were you frowning at your phone so hard?" Kemp asked amusedly. Type brought his hand up to his nape, a little embarrassed. "I was about to text Tharn but I froze. I didn't know what to say," Type replied, which made Kemp start to chuckle and Type stared at him, confused at his reaction. "How about you start with 'hi'?" Kemp suggested with a playful smile.
Type playfully pushed a fist on his shoulder, mostly feeling embarrassed about how right Kemp was. He was just making up the simple act of texting his closest friend to be something more complicated and daunting than it was and felt a little silly. He knew that he still had a long way to go to get over his feelings for him but, for the first time, seeing Kemp chuckling at his stupidity, Type felt like he was going to make it through. With Kemp.
"I'll text him later. You want to grab something to eat first?" He asked, which made Kemp stop chucking and look at Type, a little taken aback. "Are you asking me out on a date?" He asked, genuinely surprised.
Type chortled at the look on his face and nodded. "Yes, I'm asking you on a date. You know, as your boyfriend and all," Type said with a small smile. Kemp's eyes lit up as he smiled from ear to ear as he nodded his head in agreement. Type felt his previous reservations slowly drift away as he looked at the smiling man in front of him. His boyfriend. His Kemp. He ignored the uncomfortable twinge in his stomach at that thought as they walked out of the building.
°°°
'Hey! You want to hang out on the weekend?'
'Can't do. I'm going home this weekend.'
'What? Is everything alright? No one is sick, right?'
'Hahaha!
What?'
'You're going home on a weekend.
You never go home on a weekend.
It's not farfetched for me to assume that it might be because of something serious.'
'It is for something serious.'
'Really?
Are your parents okay?
Your siblings?
Your dog?'
'They're fine, Type.
I'm going home for exam prep.
I can't be bothered to cook, clean and also study at the same time.
I have some difficult subjects this time. I'm going home so I can concentrate on studying.'
'Oh, okay.
You're making me feel like a bad student who wants to hang out two weeks out from finals.'
'That's because you are.'
'Excuse me?
I'm literally 2nd in class.'
'Yeah, that just means you're good at studying. Doesn't mean you're a good student.'
'Touché'
'I have to go back to my books now.
All the best for the finals.'
'Yeah.
You too.
See you'
Type locked his phone, feeling really uneasy. What Tharn said made perfect sense but it just didn't sit right with him. He figured it was just because of the fact that he wouldn't see Tharn for a long time and also the looming stress for the finals that had just slapped him in the face as he tossed his phone on his bed. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, mind racing, his chest drumming with a dull ache, and his eyes empty. He missed Tharn.
A/n
I'd like to explain a little about what's been happening with Kemp. Since the beginning of this fic, all the characters that I have introduced have had flaws in their personalities. Kemp is no different. They are all very young and will make stupid decisions. That's how they learn and grow.
I am going to explain everything in the end, so I don't want to explain beyond that for now. I had mentioned this work is heavy on angst, and I was not lying. I apologise for the frustration this work is going to cause you, because I kind of intended to be that way. (😬)
Thanks beta!
Thank you all for reading.