Chapter Sixteen: Your Idiocy Fascinates Me
Despite the girls’ opinion that the poems and the gifts are rather flattering and harmless, a paranoid part of me remains unconvinced, but so far, I agree that I have more important things to focus on; the person who murdered Ben.
I spend most of the day absentminded as my mind is focused on Sam’s absence. I find myself peering into classrooms in hopes of catching sight of his golden hair and unmistakeable violet eyes, but all my attempts prove futile.
His absence is noticed also by the rest of the school and whispers fly into my ears as people come up with the most absurd theory as to why he’s absent.
I am all too pleased when the bell that signifies the start of lunch break is heard as I know I can finally hang out with Cherry and the girls. So far, they happen to be the least drama prone group and hanging out with them is like breathing in fresh air in a school where everyone seems to have a high affinity for drama.
As I pack my books into my backpack, I am stopped by my maths teacher who beckons me over. I watch the other students leave the class before I walk up to her.
“You need me for anything?” I inquire and she smiles sadly at me.
“I noticed you were absentminded today. Bells, with everything that has been going on in your life, no one’s expecting you to…” She stops and takes in a deep breath. “You know the counsellor’s office is always open to students.”
I bite on my lip to keep myself from groaning hard. While I know she simply has my best interest at heart, I know that there is just no point in seeing a counsellor if I am just going to withhold information.
What am I expected to tell him? ‘My cousin was murdered and I know this because the Devil told me so. And by the way, I struck a deal with said Devil which may as well lead to the damnation of my soul, and I did it to seek justice for someone who was terrible to me whilst alive. Yes! Even the Devil thinks I’m absolutely moronic for that.’
I’m sure that would end up with me locked up in a psychiatric ward.
“Thanks, ma’am. I’ll keep that in mind.” I force a smile which I’m sure looks more like a grimace and reluctantly, she nods. “Bye!”
I find the girls seated in the far end of the cafeteria. Nat is on her phone as usual, completely disregarding Cherry who is chatting animatedly. Audrey is the one who notices me. She nudges Cherry who stops talking and waves enthusiastically at me, signalling me over.
I grin at them and am about to make my way through the sea of students to them, but I am stopped by a hand around my wrist. I turn to find Trixie grinning at me and I internally groan at her.
“I’m so delighted to see you!” She links her hand in mine and drags me off towards her usual spot which is considerably far away from my friends. Cherry passes me a questioning look and I shrug, letting my expression paint my confusion.
I find myself standing before a table with a couple of other girls who are chatting about things I’m sure I won’t find fascinating. When Trixie clears her throat though, the chatter dies and they turn to us.
Some are staring at me with baffled expressions and I don’t blame them. I am usually bullied by Trixie and her pals, so seeing her acting all chummy with me is totally strange. Others glare at me, making their unmerited hatred for me known, and a few just watch with mild curiosity.
“Girls, you all are to treat Bells here the same way you’d treat me. She’s one of us now,” Trixie makes it known and murmuring breaks out. Murmurs which she ignores as she sits beside Tiffany and another girl I recognize as Nat’s cousin Carrie, and she pulls me down so I am right by her.
I turn to Carrie who I know to be the nicest girl in the group. She’s the head of the animal rights club and she spends most of her days talking about animals or overseeing fundraisers that would go to saving an endangered species.
She looks up at me and nods in acknowledgement. This makes her short blond hair with black roots fall out of its place behind her ears and she tucks it back, her blue eyes never leaving mine.
With slight discomfort, I pull out my homemade sandwich which Carrie glares at due to the meat peeking out and I smile sheepishly at her.
“Don’t look at me like that. I need me some meat.” I shrug before taking a huge bite that causes her to grimace even more.
“Murderer!” She mutters under her breath before she goes back to her salad.
I only stop when I feel eyes on me and turning to the other side, I find Trixie staring intently at me, green eyes shining with malicious intent despite the huge smile plastered onto her face.
“So, welcome to the group!”
“Uhm… Thanks, I guess?” It sounds more like a question as I am unsure of what I am to answer with.
“Now, like every group, there are ground rules; the most important being that Asher Reid is totally off-limits. It’s a girl code. You can’t go after a guy that your friend likes. While on the topic of guys, also try to stay away from Sam Light.”
“I think he’s her cousin or something,” Tiffany imputes, but Trixie shakes her head.
“I don’t care. Brit here was caught kissing her cousin last two years.” Trixie points to a short, dark-skinned girl with a thick afro and rounded glasses sitting atop her small nose.
“We didn’t know we were cousins, okay? How was I supposed to know that the new girl who just moved in from Sweden was related to me? How?” Brit looks about ready to pull at her hair. “You have no idea how mortified and disgusted I was. Gods!”
Some of the girls at the table giggle at Brit’s expense while Trixie dismissively waves her hand, not caring about what the girl has to say.
“The point is, dear Bells, there are a lot of guys in this school for you to dig your claws into, but Asher and Sam are not part of said boys.” She leans closer to me so her lips are directly beside my ear and she reduces her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “Moreover, we both know you are not related to the Devil.”
I hum and roll my tongue in my mouth as I stare right ahead. To keep myself from uttering a totally sarcastic and somewhat offensive response, I bite on my sandwich, relishing in it’s amazing taste, but unfortunately, some people just can’t take a hint. Not even if it was thrown in their face.
“Do you understand?” She snaps and I stare at her, chewing slower than I should at an attempt at annoying her.
With gritted teeth, she watches me as she waits, her own lunch tray shoved aside and totally forgotten about. Everyone at the table is staring at me and waiting for me to agree to what she just said.
“Actually, I don’t understand,” I answer once I am done chewing and everyone gasps, totally taken aback by my response. Trixie chuckles in disbelief while she shakes her head.
“What’s not to understand? I said you should stay aw-”
“Oh, no! I understood that part. I’m better than you when it comes to the use of vocabulary.”
Trixie flinches as though she was physically hit. Brit barks out a laugh which she immediately covers up with a coughing fit that makes some of Trixie’s worshippers to glare at her.
“What I don’t understand is how dense you are. Your idiocy fascinates me, to be honest. According to you, Asher Reid and Sam Light are both properties you can claim? So what? They're trophies for your shelf because you cannot win an actual trophy? I mean, you go about protesting against the objectification of men, yet here you are, a totally misguided hypocrite.”
For some reason, the tension at the table has attracted the attention of more students who have left their tables so they can witness the exchange. Some have even whipped out their cell phones with which they record the whole interaction.
“I mean, are you even listening to yourself? You were so couple goals with Ben and less than a week after his death, you want to throw yourself into the arms of his best friend and the new guy who doesn’t even care about your existence.
“How little is your self-esteem and self-respect that you need validation from men? Can you not love yourself and relish in being in your own company? No! You have to force yourself onto guys who don’t feel for you. Why? Because it creates the illusion of control?
“You want to know what you are? A leech feeding off of popularity and sympathy when you have nothing to offer. You’re a talentless girl who cannot even make it into any club. You ca-”
“I’d stop now if I were you!” Tiffany sternly states, her tone threatening.
I should stop, I know, but I have already started the word vomit and I know it’s going to keep pouring until I say everything I want to. I turn to Tiffany and chuckle slightly.
“You! You’re even dumber than she is. You have potential and talent, yet you’re letting Trixie hold you back simply because you lack self-worth and think your existence revolves around her. It’s pathetic. You’re failing your classes and you’re being threatened to be held back a year, not because you’re not smart enough to pass, but because you’re too busy scheming your downfall with whatsherface, you seem to have forgotten there’s a life outside of high school.
“You’ve allowed her corrupt your views, your perspective, your opinions…” I lean closer to her so she’s the only one that hears what I have to say next. “And you have refused to accept and come out as a lesbian because Trixie keeps telling you it’s disgusting and dirty. Somehow, you think sleeping with half the basketball team is a lot better than being happy.”
Tiffany turns away, having nothing to say. Trixie’s eyes are narrowed to slits and if looks could kill, I’d be dead and decayed already.
“You will regret this!” Trixie pronounces every word carefully. “No one crosses me, Bells. I have tried to be nice to you –”
“Since when? Since you realized my mother left me a lot of money? Aww! For a gold-digger, you seem to think you’re in the right.”
Chuckles echo out after my words and I almost feel sorry for the embarrassment that I caused the two girls, but I am reminded of all the years I stayed silent while they bullied me and sympathy fades away.
“Now I see why Nat likes this one.” Carrie points to me, winks, then goes back to her food as though the whole drama unfolding before her isn’t real.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go hang out with people that standing beside them doesn’t make me lose IQ points because you? I feel dumber just by talking to you.”
I push chair back and pick up the remainder of my sandwich, but she grabs hold of my hand and pulls me towards her.
“You think I am a horrible person? You have no idea. I will bring Hell to you. I will make you suffer, Bells. I will make you regret the moment you thought you could open your mouth and speak against you.” Her tone is cold and deadly, and somehow, I know she will keep to her promise.