Eddy Chen was over the moon about the date that Brett Yang had set up for them. Brett, on the other hand, was terribly nervous about the confession that he has to do after their date. He didn't know how it will turn out, so he just hopes that it wouldn't be so bad. (part two)
warnings: expletives, angst but good ending
Third Person POV
No matter what happens tonight, Brett does not want to know. He was just anticipating what will happen after he confessed. Although, it doesn't matter for now. Brett was helping Eddy get dressed for the date that he had arranged with Hyung last week.
"Brett, is the light blue button up shirt okay or should I go with the black high-necked one?" Eddy asked, putting the shirts up his torso to see which one would look better.
"What are you wearing again? For your pants?" Brett asked.
"I was planning on wearing the white jeans?" Eddy said hesitantly, blushing.
Brett felt as though he was intruding Eddy's thoughts but he knows what Eddy is thinking about. Eddy knows that he looks good in those jeans, especially how it accentuates his lower body. Brett pretended to think about it but he knows what to make Eddy wear.
"I think the light blue one would be better..." Brett said carefully yet thoughtfully.
"Okay, light blue it is. Just wait for me okay? I have to take a shower."
"Sure. Don't take too long..."
Brett was not feeling good about any of this at all. What if Eddy will leave him in Sydney? What if he wouldn't talk to Brett afterwards? What if he ruins TwoSet Violin? What if Eddy never wants to see his face ever again after that confession? What if Eddy will hate him after it?
All of these thoughts have been bothering him for a whole week now. He really didn't want to see Eddy walk out of his door and leave his life forever. It would kill Brett. He feels as though he forgot how to live without Eddy. Eddy came out of the bathroom, already dressed.
Then they moved to the living room, Eddy was already putting his shoes on as Hyung will arrive anytime soon. Brett was now anxious to see Hyung. He was afraid of everything that might happen but he does not want to get in between Eddy's happiness.
"Brett, I really don't know how to repay you... Thank you for persuading Hyung to go out with me." Eddy said, voice filled with sincerity and sentimentality. "You're really the best friend I could ever have. Honestly, Brett, I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for always looking out after me." Eddy added, eyes growing soft and his fingers about to reach out for Brett's hand.
Brett had seen this all before. It is not any different from what he had seen over the years. He dared not look into those eyes as he might never find himself again if he got lost in them. He swallowed the real feelings he felt and pushed it down to the depths of his stomach, in the hopes that the acid will incinerate the same old feeling he always had for Eddy.
If you only know what I feel, you wouldn't say that to me.
Brett thought as he extended his hand out for Eddy to hold. He concentrated on getting his heartbeat back on time with its normal pace. The moment Eddy's skin made contact with his, he feels the wildfire coursing throughout his entire body, bringing back to life the fire that once burned inside him. It was the good kind of pain, the one that reminded him on his part as the younger's best friend. Only a best friend.
"Of course. It's what best friends do. You don't have to thank me, thank you for telling me." Brett said, meaning every single word that slides off of his tongue. He held onto Eddy's hand as though he would never let go.
Eddy on the other hand just hugged him, out of nowhere. Brett's poor heart couldn't keep up with the emotions that was unconsenting for him to feel but he held on tight. It might be the last time he would get to hold the younger man. He makes it last without letting the younger man know his longing.
The doorbell of Brett's apartment rang, startling the two men. Eddy pulled away and smiled.
"How do I look?" Eddy asked.
"Good, just..." Brett fixed his collar. "There. Perfect." Brett added, admiration evident in his eyes but Eddy cannot see it.
"Good luck... Have a nice date!" Brett said as he opened the door, revealing a Hyung with warning eyes.
"Hey, Hyung..." Eddy said, smiling with pink tinted cheeks.
"Hey, Eddy. You look good tonight. Shall we go?" Hyung asked, still reminding Brett about their deal with his actions.
"Are you staying here tonight, Brett?"
"It depends. I'll be here until you'll be back..."
"You sure?"
"Of course. Just have fun, you too. See you later." Brett said, closing the door behind him. He sighed and sat on the couch, closing his eyes.
Brett could feel himself crying already. He was just thinking of what would happen after he would tell Eddy. The rain was splattering against the windows and Brett could not do anything but look at them. With a heavy heart, he was trying to unlove Eddy before even allowing him to know what he truly feels. He will be okay, he just has to have a little faith in Eddy and their friendship.
Eddy, on the other hand, was over the moon. He was on a date with Hyung and the conversation came in easy. It was effortless and easy, almost as if he was just talking to Brett. Speaking of Brett, he was thankful for Brett. For everything that he had done in order to get this date with Hyung.
"Yeah, it was such a great night..." Eddy said, recalling the concert of Brett's.
"I believe so, too. I have a question, though. Is that okay?"
"Of course. What is it?"
"I'm flattered that you like me, but why me?"
There was a moment of silence between them.
"It's simple, really. You're terribly beautiful, hauntingly so. I don't know if you noticed but you're a great person, you're easy to talk to and you're kind. Very kind and I think anyone would be lucky just to be graced by your presence. I am so grateful that you chose to come on this date with me." Eddy said, eyes shining with honesty and admiration.
"Eddy, you're really kind and thank you for seeing me that way. But Eddy, to be honest, I'm not that one of a kind. I couldn't even compare to Brett in your life."
"No one can. It's just, Brett had always been the best person and he's always there for me. But it's different, he's like a brother to me. Another part of me, Brett's always been that."
"But Eddy, are you sure that you don't love him the way you think you love me?"
"Of course. I love Brett but not in the sense that I might love you."
"Eddy, I'm sorry but I have to be honest... I have someone else in mind. You're really great, I swear, but I might be in love with this woman..."
"It's alright. I'm just glad that I got this date with you. Can we still be friends after this, though?"
"Of course. I don't see why not."
After eating Japanese food and having great conversations, Hyung and Eddy were walking out of the restaurant. They were walking side by side under one umbrella since it was still raining. They stopped at the front door of Eddy's apartment and said their goodbyes.
"Thank you for the great night. I had a great time."
"Thank you, too..."
They hugged and Hyung kissed Eddy's cheek. It is unspoken but understood. Eddy still liked Hyung but he was glad to stay even as a friend. Hyung, as much as he hated to admit it, had taken felt sorry that he rejected the boy. Still, it would be better for the two of them.
Hyung walked away to get a taxi for him to get home. When Hyung was waiting, he messaged Brett that Eddy was outside of his apartment now. Brett was still on the couch the moment Eddy entered. He still have not moved from the position ever since Eddy left two hours ago. He cannot bare to move because he was too nervous. Eddy sat down next to him.
"How did it go?" Brett asked, trying to conceal his nervousness.
"The date was good but he told me that he had someone else in his mind." Eddy said honestly.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that..." Brett said, avoiding looking at Eddy.
"Brett?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I have you for tonight? I know it sounds wrong and straightforward, especially if I just had my heart broken but can you just make love to me?" Eddy said, already crying and weak by the time he finished his sentence. "I know I'm being selfish, but I'm sorry. I really just need someone..."
Brett was speechless. He knew that Eddy liked Hyung but he didn't know that it had affected him that much. So, what Brett does is hug Eddy and wipe his tears away.
"It's not being selfish, Eddy. I understand, but I don't really think you'd want me like that..." Brett said, running his fingers through Eddy's hair.
"Why not? Are you just making an excuse because you really don't think I'm attractive?" Eddy said, quite sad and offended at the same time.
"No, it's not that. I just don't think that it's going to be great for our friendship?"
"Bro, so you don't have faith in me?"
"It's not that, Eddy. I just-"
"Bro, don't leave me hanging like this. I don't like being like this! It's not as though I had a choice that Hyung didn't want me. I've swallowed my pride just to ask you and yet you do this? Maybe you're only being selfish because you don't know what it feels like to wanna forget someone who can't love you back!"
"I do, Eddy! Goddamn, I know that feeling way too much! Everytime you look at me with those eyes and then you constantly remind me that I'm just a best friend to you, I just swallow my pride and tell you what you want to hear. I know you'll never love me back..." Brett said, tears now spilling down his cheeks. "I swallowed my pride all these years just to keep you happy. I even made an unfair deal with Hyung just so you could have your date tonight... Eddy, I'm not holding it against you because I had a choice! I chose to let you have that date with Hyung even if it means telling you what I truly feel about you all these years even if I wasn't ready to tell you."
Eddy was now calmer, but shocked at the words that his best friend had muttered. He didn't know how to respond. Eddy wanted to be alone and he needed to think.
"Brett, did you really think that I'd love you just because someone rejected me? I'd never love you like that, even if you were the only available person on Earth. You're so horrible for agreeing to the deal. You made me look like a fool!" Eddy said, anger now clouding his rationality and took a deep breath in.
Brett was still suppressing the tears.
"Get out of my house. I never want to see you again!" Eddy said, not looking at Brett.
Brett was afraid of the tone in Eddy's voice and just obliged. He felt like he already did enough, so he just put his shoes on and went outside on the pouring rain. It didn't matter if he got wet. His best friend hates him and he deserved what he was feeling now.
As he was walking away, Eddy's words just echoed in his mind. Brett felt as though he was a really terrible person. Maybe he did deserve the cold that he was feeling now. Maybe he never really just deserved Eddy. All these maybes run through Brett's mind as his weakening body was still carrying on. He was almost back on his apartment.
The moment he gets home, he removed all of his clothes and went to shower. He turned it on to the coldest setting, feeling as though he did not deserve warmth. After his shower, he got dressed for bed and dried his hair. Sure, he won't be getting sleep but he just wanted to curl up on the bed and cry. It was going to be a long night.
Eddy, on the other hand, was still angry. He cannot believe that Brett would do that to him. He cannot believe that Brett would get him a date with Hyung only to confess to him afterwards. He cannot believe that Brett would agree on that just so he could go out on a date with Hyung.
Eddy went to his kitchen and grab a glass of water and immediately drank it.
He cannot believe that Brett was that stupid. I mean, who the hell gets their best friend a date when you're in love with your best friend? And not to mention Brett agreed to confess his feelings even if he wasn't ready to do so just so Eddy could go out on a date with Hyung. Who the hell in their right mind will set up his best friend with another man when he's terribly in love with the best friend? Who in their right mind would do such martyrdom?
Eddy doesn't want to think too much about it for it gives him such a huge headache. But still, he cannot deny that Brett did all that for his happiness. Eddy was aware that he was such an asshole to Brett about it, but who wouldn't be? He was shocked at what Brett had told him. Why was Brett even in love with him?
Eddy walked back to his living room and saw how Brett had left his jacket on the couch. He could still hear the raindrops falling heavily. Okay, so maybe Eddy was a little bit too heartless to say that to Brett and to make him leave that easily. He picked up the jacket and stared at it with regret. He felt guilty about saying that but he was so angry at Brett.
Out of frustration, Eddy just removed his clothes and only leaving his boxers. He just wanted to sleep everything off and decide what to do for tomorrow.
Brett couldn't sleep last night. So, he didn't. He instead practiced for a concert. He was too busy thinking about Eddy and his confession, but he now decided to focus on the piece he was playing. Of course, it was the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto. He was too nervous but he would play this.
He made it sound like he was mourning. Still he continued to practice, making sure that he has his technicalities correct. He still didn't betray what the composer wrote but he was playing it perfectly. Hyung, he was worried for Brett. It wasn't unusual for him to just practice for hours and hours on end. What was unusual is the fact that Brett was crying, no, rather, his violin was crying out.
Hyung does the most logical thing.
He fished his phone out of his pocket and called a number he needs to.
"Eddy..."
- - - - - - - - - -
Eddy was dressed up in his best suit and in his hands, a stem of purple hyacinth flower. Sure, it may seem unusual to give to a soloist as one would give roses, but it holds a lot of meaning. The flower means "Please forgive me." That's exactly what Eddy needed. Forgiveness.
He had thought about it and saw how it wasn't bad to love Brett. He found out the hard way that he can't live without Brett. He was basically just discovered that he always loved Brett. It was always on the back of his head but he was so fixated on the idea of falling in love with someone else.
He entered the concert hall and sat. He didn't think much of it up until Brett started playing. The introduction felt as though it was sobbing or begging to be heard in the dark. Eddy might have just cried right then and there. He always heard Brett play but not like this.
Not when he just had realized he was in love. So deeply and desperately in love with Brett Yang.
As soon as the concert was done, nobody clapped immediately. They let the final notes sink into the hall and their ears. It was beautiful, so beautiful that Eddy was still crying even after the sound disappeared. The standing ovation was there and Eddy must've clapped louder than anyone else.
As soon as people were leaving the hall, Eddy approached the backstage where Brett was at. He was still holding the flower. The moment he saw Brett, he sank to his knees.
"Brett, I know this comes off as a shock but please listen to me first even if I don't deserve it..." Eddy said, voice soft and apologetic. "First of all, I love you. I love you so much and I don't know why it took so long to realize but I love you. I can't live without you. I always knew I did, but it just sunk into me the moment you were gone.
Please forgive me... I know that you've always wanted this. You played beautifully. You deserve to be a soloist and if that's what you want I won't hold you back. I'll catch up with you and I'll follow you, please just don't leave me. I know I'm asking for a lot but I swear, I promise to be better." Eddy said, crying at this point now.
Brett was crying too. He never knew that this man would love him back.
"Eddy, please stand up. I love you, too. I forgive you as long as you promise me to be better. To be honest, Eddy. After building TwoSet with you, I cannot find myself somewhere else but you. I love you a lot and I can't see living without you." Brett said, pulling Eddy up to stand with him.
As soon Eddy was standing up, Brett pulled him into a hug that made Eddy breathless. Eddy held him back, holding onto Brett as if Brett was his lifeline. (He definitely was, the past days had proven it.) They had stopped crying now and Brett leaned in to kiss Eddy softly.
They pulled away, still holding each other close. This was the start of everything else that matters to them. TwoSet Violin, sharing their passions for classical music and making it relevant again and each other. They loved each other and they were thriving off of that love.