I hurried down the busy new York streets, the air thick with exhaust fumes and other such things. I turned the corner quickly into the lobby the the building knowone was there questioning anyone so I headed up the stairs even if my fingers where starting to hurt from carrying it all. I hurried along to the familiar door trying once more to remove the painted obscenity on the door but to no avail so I hurried inside shutting the door behind me instantly going to the small kitchen to put down my brown paper bags on the clean countertops I turned as I dusted off my hands on my skirt seeing what I usually see, the table folded out placed squarely in the centre of the room, a chair tucked up to the table with not much room to move, a chess board on the table the pieces in line places indicating a game half played, the flat fairly dark with just the single light bulb above the table, the washing not done, the dishes still dirty everything as I had left it.
And I do mean everything...
The familiar skinny figure sat on the one chair his pants tight to every inch of him as they sat on his waist, his button down rolled to his elbows, he sat up straight almost frighteningly so, his hair dirty and in need of a trim as it was beginning to fall in his eyes even if he fixes it with his hand ever so often, his brown eyes watched everything, looked everywhere not a single move not thought of or unconsidered as he scanned it all much like I imagine a fax machine would or perhaps a computer would, his face unshaven but that was not unusual for him nowadays, a cigarette in his fingers occasionally moving it back to his lips before Ashing it on the floor.
It was silent but my breathing and the ticking of the clock next to the board.
A desire in me wanted to speak, but another wanted to stay silent not wanting to disturb him in case I broke his concentration so I just began unpacking my bags putting things away in the kitchen having to clean a little as I did things like the old milk in the fridge and the can of something so old the label had fallen and been lost to dust. Once it was all away I began washing up every so often noise would make me jump a little the sound of pieces moving on the board normally he moves them very quietly but in this silence they were impossible to ignore. As soon as I finished up washing up I grabbed a ashtray I had just washed drying it on my skirt holding the beautiful crystal in my hands careful I knew it had been pocket from some hotel or another as quietly as I could I stepped over pushing the little ashtray onto the table trying desperately not to disturb the chess board he saw it glancing to the ashtray then to me a moment before instantly his eyes returned to the board
"Thanks y/n" he said his voice strange clearly where he hadn't spoke and smoked all day
"Your welcome" I smiled fiddling with my fingers unable to stop my smile I didn't want to speak again to disturb him anymore then I already did but he was speaking and I was going to milk that for as long as I could before he would stop again "uuuuhhhh Benny would you like a cup of tea?" I asked
He didn't respond too focused so I headed back to the kitchen to clean up from where I washed up
"Two sugars y/n" he spoke Ashing his cigarette into the ashtray I made him a cup of tea with two sugars as he asked heading back to the table and sitting it beside his ashtray I unfolded the other chair sitting at the other end of the table from him with my own cup of tea I watched him as he sat thinking and occasionally moving pieces, I went to move one myself but almost instantly his hand came and slapped my wrist before I could even touch it "don't touch" he warns
"Sorry... I just wanted to play too"
"You can't play chess y/n, remember?" He sighed finishing his cigarette
"Well give you practice playing against someone"
"I don't need practice y/n, even if I did you wouldn't be much use" he sighed "you play like a five year old"
"Sorry" I sighed getting up and going to get started on some dinner as I did I heard him get up making me turn to see him
"Don't bother making me anything y/n, I'm off out" he says
"Where?" I asked
"Poker" he shrugs
"Ohh right, of course I forgot. Well good luck... I'll see you later then"
"See you tomorrow" he says slipping his jacket on and heading to the door but I ran and stopped him before he could leave
"Wait Benny..." I told him making him stop
"What?" He asks
"Well... aren't you forgetting something?" I asked fiddling with my fingers slightly turning my head to the side so it was easier for him
"Oh right yeah" he smiled as he dug around in his pocket and handed me a couple coins "here for if the meter gets low" he says before he left shutting the door behind him.
I sighed as I stood in the dark quiet flat all alone I slipped the coins in my pocket and kissed the air "love you too benny" I sighed.
I finished up dinner for myself and cleaned what I could scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen within an inch of its life making the bed a hundred times even changing it twice I knew I couldn't do much else, I can't touch his books, I can't touch his chess boards, really anything chess related I was forbidden from touching in case I messed up something, Incase I moved some he was working with or threw out some paper he made notes on. I didn't like it but I didn't want to voice my opinion on it. I know chess is Benny's life even if I had grown to hate it.
And I don't even think it was the mess, the stuff, the fact I can't touch half the stuff in my own home, it wasn't his trips away where I wouldn't hear a word till he walked back in though the door, it wasn't even that he ignored me for his chess.
It was that I knew deep in my heart that if he had to choose he wouldn't choose me.
It broke my heart just to think about it, because I would give anything for him, do anything for him. In Fact I did, I left my home, my family, the wealth and security of the two, I had given it all up to go halfway around the world to be here with him and sometimes I think he forgets that.
But it was too late now, I couldn't go home, I couldn't afford it anyway.
I'd given up everything to be here with Benny and I'd give you anything else he asked of me...
But it's hard when I know he wouldn't do the same for me.
So many of his promises were already broken.
"I'll stop making plans without telling you"
"I won't go out so much"
"I'll limit my trips"
"I'll take you with me"
"We'll have dinner together every night"
"Of course I'll teach you to play"
"I'll cut down on the cigarettes"
"I'll cut down on the beer"
"Y/n, I promise. As soon as I win the championship we'll get married"
He did win the championship that year, and he's won every year since, but still I don't have a ring on my finger and I'm still accused often of us living in sin, I wouldn't mind us taking forever to get married I know he's busy and I know his chess is important but... just for us to be engaged that's all I ask then he can take a hundred years if he wants so long as I have something.
I could feel tears trickling down my face so I wiped them away and looked at the clock. It was late, far too late to still be awake. I stood at the bedroom door frame looking in at the bed and I didn't want to sleep there, I didn't want to crawl into that half broken bed all alone. I got the air mattress from the cupboard and began pumping it, as soon as it was inflated I fixed all the sheets and took my pillow from the bed. I changed into my nightie and turned off the little light crawling into the air bed even if I began to shiver already.
I don't know how much sleep I got likely not enough as I was woken by the front door opening and shutting again soon after the light clicked on which made me open my eyes grimacing at the light
"Guess how well I did?" He laughed and I could instantly tell he was a little drunk. I could smell the alcohol on his clothes and the fact he was speaking to me was rather a big give away, that and the beer bottle in his hand "w-what are you doing out here?" He laughed as he noticed I wasn't in our form but in fact on the living room floor I sat up and shrugged not really wanting to speak with him "look what I got" he smirked emptying his pockets and throwing it all on my lap "one thousand dollars!" He laughs kneeling beside my airbed "one thousand four hundred and six to be exact my radiator beauty" he smiled
"Radiant Benny" I correct with a little giggle
"Turn them on if your cold" he shrugs
"No Benny i- nevermind" I laughed "at least we don't have to worry about rent" I smiled
"Ummm..come here" he smirked wrapping his arms around my shoulders "come here...I wanna have sex on the money" he smirked
"Benny no" I told him sternly pushing him away
"Come on let's celebrate the Victory" he smirked trying to kiss me but I just pushed him away I collected all the money he won and hid it away in the usual place as I did I felt his arms around my waist kissing up my neck "you look so beautiful... come on just a little snuggle?"
I sighed and let him drag me off to our room he kissed down my chest as he pushed me on my back his knees either side of my waist he took both my hands pinning them above my head one hand left mine to push up my nightie enough to reveal my panties which he made short work of removing. He undid his pants pushing them down as much as he needed too before he pushed deep inside me, I had almost forgotten what he felt like, he softly groaned and pinned my hands with his own again intertwining his fingers with my own as his hips slowly and sloppily moved I tried to pretend I wasn't enjoying it, trying to keep a stern face and not scream even if I was beyond happy, I knew he was drunk, I knew he would barely remember this tomorrow but... this was the most attention Benny had given me in weeks, Sexually and emotionally. He often gleaned and grunted little curses I knew I was getting close and I couldn't stop myself I began to arch my back off the bed and held his hips with my legs which only fuled him he pulled down my nightie to reveal my breasts and he kissed them like crazy, I held his hands in a vice like grip as I reached my orgasum tightening around his stiff cock as I did
"Uhhh fuck.." he groans getting faster and faster our bed banging on the wall rather violently until he suddenly stopped his hips bucked towards me and his body slightly shook "ughhh!! Y/n" he groans before collapsing his full weight on top of me it was uncomfortable but it's not like Benny weighs that much anyway he pulled out and rolled off me onto his side of the bed his body turned away from me laid on his side I went to give him a cuddle and some kisses but he was already asleep. I sighed sitting up and fixing my nightie, I picked myself up from the bed and went back to my airbed laying there fighting back tears before I fell asleep.
I woke up to the hushed sound in the apartment, I got up and began making coffee as the kettle boiled I could hear creaking form the bedroom and soon enough footsteps
"Morning" he groans. I didn't answer him "Hello? Anybody home?" I still didn't answer. I didn't even look at him "did you...sleep out here last night?"
I nodded glancing to him stood in the doorway in his pants not yet got a shirt on
"Okay... stupid question I'm sure but, why?"
I shrugged taking my coffee and sitting on the airbed
"Are you pissed at me?" I didn't answer but I think he could read my face he sighed and looked annoyed "great, what have a bloody done now" he said starting to get angry
"Do I need a reason!" I yelled "I don't have to give you a hundred page essay on why I'm pissed sometimes I can just be pissed at you Benny, you shouldn't have to ask what you've done and why I'm pissed you should know why I'm pissed" I argued
"Well I don't know"
"Then I'm sure a genius like you can figure it out!"
"What the fuck is up with you lately!" He yelled "you're constantly pissed at me! You won't tell me what I've done, you get the ass every time I do anything, you interrupt work. Just fucking tell me what's wrong with you!"
"I'm getting pissy with you? You ignore me for two days If I touch a goddamn chess piece, you abandon me here for hours, weeks when you go away, I don't hear from you I don't even know if your okay till you walk back through the door, you never keep your promises, you never take me anywhere, you don't even speak to me some days..." I cried
"Y/n..." he sighed "I didn't make you come here" he said making me freeze "you could have stayed at home with your family you choose to come live with me you knew what I was like" he shrugs "hate it so much...then go home" he sighed heading back to the bedroom to finish getting dressed I burst into tears till he came back setting up his chess table again
"I don't wanna go home, I wanna stay here with you" I cried "I love you"
"Then stay, but don't get pissed at me because the door is always there" he told me.
Hi ! I love your stories . I want to make a request if it's possible. Can you do a part 2 of "pissed" in your Queen gambit book please. Like the reader had enough and then finish to leave. At the beginning Benny feel nothing but after he misses the reader and try to take her back.Thanks And continue you're an amazing writer ☺️
I stood by the bed, the room dark and dirty as I had given up with cleaning and keeping the place tidy nowdays. I'd gathered all my things and got my suitcases packed on the bed putting in the last few things, I felt terrible but I knew I couldn't stay here.
It broke my heart, I loved benny with every fibre of my being. But I couldn't live being second to a game. I couldn't stop crying anymore I couldn't help feeling abandoned by him, I couldn't stay... especially not now.
I got my bags and left the letter leaned on the chess pieces on the board in the living room at least then he'll find it. I locked up and posted my key through the letterbox going out to the busy new york streets soon enough a cab picked me up. I sat with my bags in the back seat of the rough cab, watching as the building I had called my home for so long disappeared from my new and the harsh grey rain battered the window as I headed out of new york. It felt like forever forcing back tears as the cab dropped me off at the airport I paid the man and headed inside with my things checking in and doing all the usual airport things going and sitting in the terminal waiting listening for my flight, My flight home.
-------------------
I got home putting my keys on the side and my jacket on my hook "Y/n? What's for dinner?" I asked her but no answer "Y/n?" I asked again "hello?" I asked but there was nothing I looked around the place the kitchen was empty, so was the bathroom, "Y/n if your pissed at me just say you're pissed at me I'm not a fucking mind reader!" I complain, going to the bedroom door but the bedroom was empty. Her nightie was gone from our bed, her side of the wardrobe empty but the coathangers, maybe she went out for the shopping or something. I sighed making myself a coffee and going to my chessboard just as I had left it when I left a few days ago except for something I noticed immediately "What the fuck! My queen is missing?" I complain noticing the queen piece from my board on the white was missing I checked the floor in case it had gotten knocked off but it was nowhere to be found and then I saw something else an envelope sat leant against some of the piece's, It was a white envelope sealed, with blue writing on the front reading my name. I picked up the letter opening it and giving it a read.
"Dear Benny,
By the time you're home and reading this, I will already be on the plane home to England.
I need you to understand that I'm not doing this because I don't love you anymore, In fact, quite the opposite.
I'm doing it because I love you too much, Far too much, so much so that I think it has made me blind to your imperfections.
I have known now for a while that I can't stay with you, and not because I don't want to. But because I know if I stay I'll slowly grow not to love you anymore. Benny Watts when I met you we where both young and stupid, I fell so hard for you that I was willing to abandon my family, my home, my life and go halfway around the world for you. But the longer I spent with you the more I realized that what I had done ass foolish, For you would not do the same for me.
Not that I would have ever asked it of you even if you did. I could live with being second to your work, I could live with your distance, I could live with a home that barely functions and was barely livable at best, I could live with being a doormat of a housewife, I could live with you only touching me when you were drunk, All of it I could accept Because of how much I love you.
But I know in my heart that you don't love me, Not as much as you love yourself, and not as much as you love chess.
Even as I write this I can't recall the last time you told me you loved me, or made a promise to me that you've kept.
When we were apart you used o tell me every time we spoke, how much you loved me, how much you missed me, how much you were waiting for me to be close to you so you could kiss me and touch me, how you were waiting to marry me.
And now, I barely get a word from you, You barely come to bed, you're barely there.
And I've realized, You ...my sweet Benny Watts. You are not someone who can be loved.
Not in the way that I know how to love.
You, Benny Watts, are like a fire.
Beautiful, captivating, a magic undefinable and yet... dangerous.
I guess it was my own fault for playing with fire, I shouldn't complain when I get burnt.
And it is for all these reasons I have decided to go home to my family.
Please understand that I will always love you and I won't ever forget you, and I shall always admire you and care for you, but from afar where I belong. But I can't be with you and I'm sorry for any trouble I have caused you.
Goodbye Benny.
Love Y/n"
She... She left me.
After all these years, all this time she's just... gone.
I forced it all to the back of my head, I had other things to worry about right now I put the letter away in the nightstand by my bed returning to my board getting a queen from one of my other sets, I could see hands shaking, my heart throbbing but I ignored it and continued with my work.
"She'll be back," I said to myself.
I sat on my hotel bed rubbing my eyes, bugger I was tried. That was a long game, I probably shouldn't have had that drink at the bar after it either. Let alone taking that girl back to her room. I got my bag and began digging around for my stuff, I couldn't find what I needed so I gave up and tipped the whole thing out all my things onto my bed. I dug around a moment before I saw something a little note It was old and faded but readable still
'Y/n <3 Home number xxx'
It was the phone number for y/n's parents house, I must have written it down and put it in my bag years ago when we were apart and I could only talk to her in letters and on the phone. It used to cost me a bundle back then to ring her up and chat for hours given she was all the way in England.
I had barely thought about y/n.
I had tried not to, I put myself one hundred and ten per cent into my work, I think some part of me did it to try and forget her, or try and avoid thinking about her. I hadn't spoken to her or heard anything from her since she walked out and that was months ago. I got the hotel home sitting he black rotary phone on the little table in my room sitting on the chair looking at my chessboard with the queen from another board I hated it, it looked stupid so I took it away throwing it in my bag as I sighed putting in the numbers my hand almost working on its own in muscle memory somehow from years of putting in her number. I nervously put the phone to my ear listening to the sounds of it connecting, transferring, and then it began to ring. Listening to the sound of it ringing until rather suddenly it stopped.
"Hello?" a familiar male voice asked I knew that voice so well years of hearing that voice pick up the phone it was her father.
"Uhh Hello, sorry is this still the Y/L/N household?" I asked
"It is" he answered
"Great" I smiled a little nervous still "is uhh is Miss y/n there please?"
"Why?"
"I uh just wanted to... speak to her, Please"
"She's not here."
"Oohh uhh where is she?"
"I don't know how that's any concern of your sir" He explained, "Now if you'll excuse-"
"It's benny!" I said quickly and where was silence "Benny Watts..."
"I know benny. Oddly enough I recognized the voice of the boy who used to call my house every over day asking for my daughter" he explained "She's not here benny, she's out. And I'm going, to be honest, I'm not really sure she wants to hear from you at the moment"
"Where has she gone?"
"I can't tell you that"
"Why not?"
"She asked me not to... Oddly enough you know she still talks about you,"
"Did she ask you to say she wasn't here if I ever called?"
"No, she didn't. But she made me promise not to tell you about... this if you did call"
"About what?"
"Benny I can't-
"Please... I just wanna know if she's okay?" I asked tears slowly falling down my cheeks
"She's at the doctor benny. She's doing fine. Or as well as she can. I don't think she wants to talk to you right now,"
"Okay, could you tell her..." I began stopping short "Tell her I called okay, and uhh that I Said Hi"
"I will" He answered before he hung up the phone. I put the phone down wiping away my tears and sniffling a little why as she at the doctor? Was she okay? What did he mean by all that?
I felt like shit. I had tried for weeks to force it out of my head but I couldn't do it! I hated to admit it but I couldn't stop thinking about her. I had tried to forge her, tried to focus on my work, tried dating other girls but nothing worked. I still felt...alone. Like I was incomplete. Like the King on my chessboard, I was missing my queen and I couldn't work without her.
I grabbed my phone sitting it on the chessboard playing with the cord in my fingers as I put in the numbers and waited to listen to all the different tones. I heard it ringing and I froze as it was picked up
"Hello?" Her sweet voice answered the moment I heard it I started to cry but I forced myself to stop "Hello?" she asks again
"Hello," I said quickly
"Hello Mr Watts" she says sadly "What is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You want something I know you do, please just tell me what it is so I can get it over with"
"I- I don't want anything I just... I wanted to see how you were?"
"I'm fine, I think. I've been busy"
"Busy with what?"
"Life" she says "what about you, How are you doing?"
"I'm managing" I answered as I glanced around my dirty cold apartment
"Thats good then" she smiled
"I miss you"
"I know" she answered
"Y/n I rang a few months ago-"
"I know, my dad told me"
"He said... you were at the doctor? Why where you at the doctor?"
"It's nothing really-"
"Y/n... Please just tell me"
"I'm going back on my medication. That's al"
"I thought you quit that stuff."
"I did, But they think I need it again," she says "You've been doing well, I've been hearing about your tournaments and things, seen stuff of you and Beth Harmon"
"It was nothing," I said quickly "She needed my help. Nothing more" I lied It broke my heart to lie to her but I couldn't tell her the truth of what I and beth did. But beth was back with harry now anyway she didn't want anything more to do with me, I knew it would only hurt y/n more If I told her the truth.
"Of course," she says
"Y/n... Please, Come back"
"What are you talking about?"
"Please, Just come back to new york... with me."
"I don't think that's a good idea Mr Watts-"
"No please y/n! Please just come up to new york for a couple of days, you can stay with me, I'll pay for your plane-"
"Benny, Enough" she says "You think I don't want to be there with you?" I could hear her tears her voice getting coaked up as she spoke
"Then come home. Please y/n"
For a moment she didn't say a word, I was worried a moment did she hang up on me, did we get disconcerted? But then
"benny...I'm sorry but I have to go."
"No, wait y/n please!"
"We'll talk about this later I promise Just please I have to go I have to go now!" she said seeming panicked and in pain but she hung up. And I was left in horrible silence.
I had tried to call her, tried to send her letters but nothing got replies. But as I was flipping through my mail one day I saw something, an English stamp. I freaked with excitement opening the letter but-
It wasn't y/n.
It was the Cambridge chess association inviting me to the tournament they have every so often. Just the idea made me cry, The last time I went to it Y/n followed me home to new york. Years before that I had always timed it to go and meet with y/n to finally see her after so long apart. And even though it seemed so long ago it was where I met her. She was writing a report for her school paper at the time her only being a year younger then I was, and something about her made my heart flutter, I could have spent hours with her. I even did almost missing the tournament one day because she had taken me to a little park not far from the campus it was being held on from then on I spoke to her almost every day on the phone, sending letters to each other regularly and visiting whenever we could. Until she finally agreed to come to new york with me, packed her things and came home with me.
I accepted their invitation and began planning the trip, thinking to myself often if I wanted to go see her.
From the moment I got off the plane, I felt lonely than I ever had before. I had never been to this place without y/n being in the airport waiting for me, without her to hold my hand through the rainy grey streets, Without her little kisses at bus stops and park benches, without... Her.
This time was colder. Ice and snow on the streets all over every tree and bush, as I journeyed from the airport to the university where I would be staying, I shoved my things in the room they had given me and grabbed what I needed, heading back out.
Walking through the ice-covered university grounds, though the empty streets, Under the grey clouded sky, past snow-covered trees and snow-capped bushes. Robins and other little creatures moving from tree to tree. As the sky began to darken as I walked the path so well known to me.
I reached the road with the line of little houses down each side, the orange brickwork so faded and broken, snow covering the street and the tops of the houses. The warming glow of firelight coming from inside the houses, little trails of smoke coming from there chimneys. I reached the little house all the lights off inside but one. I went to the door knocking but there was no answer. I knocked again much louder but still no answer. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I turned away to go back to the University but as I got to the street the door creaked open.
"Will you please keep it down there a-" her voice began. I turned and saw her y/n. My y/n. Stood on the porch her hair done perfectly as was her make up, in a little blue and white dress a button-down at the top and a flowing skirt at the bottom, perfectly straight stockings, little blue flat shoes, a white cardigan over her shoulders she stopped short when she saw it was me.
"Hi" I smiled putting my cold hands in my pocket
"Hi" she says crossing her arms "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you"
"Why?"
"Because I'm a fucking jack ass. I was an idiot for thinking I could have let you go"
"Benny-"
"No y/n please, for once just stop getting pissed at me and listen to me. I love you, I have never in my life stopped loving you and I was an idiot and a complete dick for the way I treated you, You shouldn't have had to put up with me as much as you did. I came all this way because I love you because I can't live my life without you in it" I explained I knew I was crying but I didn't care I had to tell her "Y/n I thought when You left that I could just go back to my life that I could just be normal but... I can't. I don't want to be away from you I don't want to be without you..."
"You didn't come here for me."
"I did-"
"No Benny you didn't. You're trying to tell me I can go to that university and won't see your name on the list for the championship tomorrow" she says I didn't answer "See, I was a coincidence. Are you pissed?"
"I haven't had a drink in six months" I admit "I haven' smoked since you left. I haven't gone on as many trips, I've been home and had dinner at home every single night since you left. I'm sorry that I didn't do any of it before you were gone"
"I meant are you pissed at me?"
"No, You had to go, I understand why now. I can be... difficult. I don't blame you for leaving, I blame myself for making you leave" I explain "Are you pissed at me?"
"I'm always pissed at you benny" she giggled "But, I don't think I should have left. Looking back I don't think I would have if I know what I do now"
"You needed to you," I told her "I needed you to go. So I knew what it was like not having you. So I knew what I had until it was gone"
"And?"
"And I know now... that I need you. I can't be happy without you, I can't be me... without you. Y/n I love you, More than anything in the world. More than me, More than chess. More than living." I explain "That I need you. Without you I'm... Incomplete."
"Incomplete?"
"Y/n... you're my queen," I told her "And a King without his Queen... Falls" I explain "A king without his queen, has nothing to protect, nothing to defend, nothing to do but fall. I need you."
"How do I know you won't just go back to how you where... in new york If I came home with you?"
"Because I'm not asking you to come back to new york with me," I told her "I'm asking... to stay here with you, to be the man you want me to be"
"Benny, You always were" she smiled jumping down to hug me, I held her as tightly in my arms as I could never wanting to let her go "but..."
"But?" I asked pulling back to see her face
"The house is pretty full..."
"Then we can get our own little place, not far from the airport, with... a garden, and a nice kitchen, everything you've ever wanted my queen"
"Benny... he house is full because-"
"Y/n... is there, someone else?"
"Yes" she smiled blushing hard
"Do you love him?"
"Yes"
"Do you... love him more then you love me?"
"In a way"
"What's his name?"
"...David" she smiled "Come on, I want you to meet him" she smiled tugging my hand I didn't want to I felt like bursting into tears I felt sick to my stomach there was someone else, some other man named David? She pulled me inside shutting the door and shhing me as she pulled me upstairs to her own bedroom I remember her dragging me up here so much when I came to visit her she quietly pushed open the door revealing her room.
It was much like I remembered it her bed in the same place some of her dresses in the same places too... but something was different, toys all over the floor and a nightlight providing the only light. And there in the corner by the window... sat a crib and a mobile.
She pulled me over to stand looking into the crib, to see a child around one or two ears old fast asleep wrapped up with blankets
"You're little brother?" I asked
"No benny..."
"He's... He's your son?" I ask and she nods
"He's about eighteen to nineteen months now"
"So I take it... this David, you met after you left me, and then... all this happened," I asked and she giggled quietly
"Benny, this is David" she smiled "David Watts," she says making me feeze up "He's your son benny"
"Wh- Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was scared. I was pregnant and unmarried. Oddly enough, Benny, I was terrified" she explained "I didn't even tell my family till I was about seven months"
"You knew... when you left me?"
"I did"
"You knew it was mine?"
"Of course I did. There weren't any other options"
"You ran away, Broke my heart, ran halfway across the world... with my child. And you didn't even tell me"
"Benny, It was why I left. It was my tipping point, I didn't want to leave you, I loved you I couldn't bear the idea of leaving but... when I found out I was pregnant... suddenly something was more important to me, Our child was more important to me" she explained "He mattered to me more than me, more than you, more than anything. I didn't want to have our child grow up in new york, to grow up in that dirty little one-room apartment, to have a father that barely even knows he is there, a father who runs off for weeks on end, who sits playing games for hours, I couldn't live with it" she explained "My life is one thing. But a baby's life that's different I can mess up my life thas fine but a baby's life thas not fair"
"Y/n, You kept my child from me. You could have at least told me. You didn't even give me a chance to be a part of his life"
"Benny, He can't even talk yet."
"I would Have wanted to be there y/n, when you were pregnant when you gave birth... I missed all of it"
"Then it's up to you Benny. You can go back to new york. Forget about me and have a new start. Or you can stay here with me and with our baby, either way, I'll accept it"
"Y/n, I want to be here. With you. And with him" I smiled holding hr close giving her cheek a kiss "You followed me home before, this time I'm staying with you" I smiled and she blushed hard holding me tightly too
"I missed you benny, I love you so much"
"I love you too my queen"
"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA!" Erupted from the crib
"I think, that it's your turn" she smirked "it is going to be your turn a while" she smiled I sighed and slipped my jacket off gently picked him up with her help as I had never picked up a baby before holding his little body in my arms as he yawned and opened his little brown eyes
"Hi, little guy," I smiled he looked scared like he was about to cry "No no please don't cry, sorry... you don't have any idea who I am, sorry I didn't mean to scare you, little guy"
"Dadda" He giggled running his little hand across my face
"I thought he wasn't talking yet?"
"He- he hasn't, that- that was his first word" she smiled almost crying
"Yeah, yeah little guy, I'm your dadda" I blushed
"Dadda" he giggled tugging his little hand on my facial hair
"Oww oww okay, no no don't pull daddy kiddo" I laughed pushing his hand away "I'm sorry I wasn't around little guy. Don't you worry daddy's going to make it up to you and mummy. I promise"