in the end,
you were just a sad story
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
THE DAY WAS FINALLY HERE.
To my side, stood my parents and Toby. While I could see their mouths moving, their voices sounded like they were speaking underwater. I blinked in rapid succession, trying to clear my head so I could focus, but all that I could hear was the increasing sound of my heart pounding. My brain was screaming at me to turn away and run, but I was stuck to the spot; rooted. In the grip of silent panic, my eyes kept flickering up to the clock, watching it tick by. Everything seemed to slow down around me, like I was in some weird, alternate universe.
"Everything will be fine," my dad whispered, his voice suddenly coming through. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, and gave it a gentle squeeze, "You've got this, sweetheart. We believe in you."
Mother, hobbling closer to me, nodded in agreement with father.
"No matter what happens, just know we love you," she smiled, "And that we're proud of you for doing this."
I strained my vocals but nothing came out. Instead, I settled with a simple nod, and clasped my hands together. However, it didn't matter if he believed in me. I needed the judge to, because if he didn't, or if I stumbled too much, to the point where they thought I was lying, Tyler was going to walk out of here, scot-free. Seeing my conflicted expression, Toby shuffled closer to me, eyes softened in a gentle gaze.
"We're all going to be right here for you," he murmured, leaning closer to whisper in my ear.
But the fear engulfing my conscience, knocked all other thoughts aside. All I could think about was the man I would be forced to face in the next few minutes. While the comfort I received from the people around me, who all loved me, was somewhat consoling, it didn't eliminate the terror that I was also feeling.
"It's time to head in," mother said. I could see the sadness swirling around her eyes and I tried my hardest to muster up a smile for her. Even now, I wanted to show her that I could be strong - even if I wasn't.
My hands trembled and my eyes watered as I reached towards the door knob. Creaking the door open, my breath quickened in sharp pants. Everything was silent as we stepped inside. The room wasn't as big as I thought it would have been - but a part of was terrified of how close Tyler and I would be.
As we were directed to our seats, my eyes gazed around everywhere - taking it all in. The room wasn't as big as I had originally thought it would be. Still, despite the warmth, the hairs on my arms were rising and small goosebumps formed on my skin. I squirmed when we were brought to the very top of the court room, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead.
Then, before I had even prepared myself for the moment, two doors banged open and a cleanly dressed Tyler was brought out. His black suit was buttoned and ironed to perfection - hair combed and jelled. While his face was settled in a neutral expression, I could almost feel the underlying anger burning in his eyes. All of my skin drained of colour and I was sure I looked nothing short of ghost. Just before he sat down, one corner of his lips quirked up - making me shudder at the sheer maliciousness evident.
Even standing here, there was something unnatural about standing in front of a judge and officers, trying to convict my ex-boyfriend of sexually assaulting me. It was still a hard reality for me to grasp - that someone I had claimed I had loved was now standing in front of me, about to try and prove his innocence.
"I'm right here," Toby whispered, and in the hidden shadows, wrapped his warm hand around me and gave it a tight squeeze.
"Mister Tyler Jones," the loud voice of the judge boomed out, "You are being charged with ten different accounts of sexual and physical abuse. How do you plead?"
I held my breath when a brief silence passed over the court room. I didn't dare breathe in case I would miss his reply. Without even giving me a glance, he leaned forward in his seat and spoke into the microphone in a clear voice:
"Not guilty."
Even if I had known he wouldn't plead guilty, it was still a blow to my stomach to hear it actually play out. There had been a small, naive part to me that half-expected him to turn around and confess to all of his sins. Despite the brief flinch that crossed my face, I managed to keep my composure and looked straight ahead with pursed lips.
While the judge prepared to start the trial, all of the other witnesses were asked to wait outside of the court room - waiting their turn to come in and testify. My fists were clenched at my sides and my sharp nails dug into the soft skin of my palm. Like a magnet, my eyes kept being drawn to Tyler - the way he sat next to his lawyer with such ease made the anger inside of me churn harder. How could he sit there and not looked at all affected? He appeared cool and collected, with a hint of confidence radiating off of him. His dark eyes flitted to mine, for all of three seconds, but in those short seconds, I felt like I had just stared the devil right in the face.
The judge, sat in her seat, was middle-aged, her hair pulled back into a tight bun. With arched eyebrows and lips that were pursed, she exuded a serious animosity.
"Right, Sir," Miss Ashworth, his lawyer, called out, "Would you state your name for the court, please?"
"My name is Tyler Jones," he replied, the charm oozing out of his voice.
His lawyer nodded her head, "And how old are you?"
"I'm nineteen."
"Okay, so I'm going to direct your attention to the night of Friday, October tenth. Where were you on that night?"
"I was at my home," he said in a calm voice.
"And at that time, were you and Miss Ryan in a relationship?"
"We were, yes."
Her nude-painted lips tugged up on one side and I didn't miss the very brief, gaze he flicked my way before averting her attention back to Tyler.
"Approximately how long had you two been in a romantic relationship?"
"About two months at that stage," he answered.
"I see. So, on that particular night, had you scheduled for her to come over?"
"We didn't have a clean plan or anything," he lied, "She kind of just turned up, but it wasn't that I minded. I loved spending time with her."
My head whipped over and I almost wanted to scoff and call him out on his lie, but I sat still in my place, watching everything play out. Jumping out of my seat to scream at him already, was not going to help my case at all.
"Hm. So, according to you, Miss Ryan arrived with no prior plan set?" she asked with a questioning gaze.
He shook his head firmly, "No."
"All right. Beginning from when Miss Ryan turned up at your home - do you remember around what time that was?"
His face crinkled for a moment before he spoke, "It was probably around six or seven in the evening. I'm not exactly sure."
"And when she turned up, you invited in her in. Then what happened?"
"I thought we would have a late dinner together - my parents were home at the time so they joined us too."
"And would you say that you're quite respected in your family?" Miss Ashworth suddenly asked and I instantly knew where she was going to take this.
"I would say yes," Tyler smiled, "My parents are both business owners and I've spent a lot of time working with them, as well. I know they, and the company, have a lot of pride and respect in the hard work I put in."
"Would you agree with me saying that you had attained quite a high level of success at such a young age?" she mused, "And with that, came a lot of time with being scrutinized by the public eye, did it not?"
"It did," he nodded, "I always made sure that I was polite and mannerly to others - not only because that's the kind of person I am, but also because I wanted to be a role model to those around me that looked up to me."
"Now, in your class, you excelled in a lot of subjects?" she added as an afterthought, and I internally blanched at the "perfect boy" image she was trying to create.
"I'm an ambitious person," he agreed, "Sure, there's a certain level of pressure, coming from my family to get good grades, but whose family doesn't push them to be the best they can be? Even as a child, I've always dreamed of studying business so that one day, I would be able to take over the family company. I have a lot of passion for the business and I know I have a lot to offer."
Her lips twitched and curled at their corners, "Now, going back to the night of October tenth, could you describe to me the events that occurred shortly after the dinner?"
"Of course," he tugged on his tie and straightened his slouching shoulders, "So, despite Miss Ryan's unexpected appearance, I thought we would be able to have a nice dinner together and then we would watch a movie or something afterwards with a few snacks."
"Was this an often occurrence?" Miss Ashworth asked, "Did you two often go on these kinds of dates?"
"Yes, we did," he smiled, "To be frank, I'm someone who likes spoiling those around me. I tried to plan at least one date night a week for her when we were together. So, after the dinner, I called her up to my room, which she had been in multiple times before, and we were getting ready to pick a movie to watch."
Miss Ashworth bobbed her head up and down, "What happened then?"
"We started making out," he confessed, "This went on for a few minutes probably, and she didn't hesitate in reciprocating it."
"So, it was consensual?" she echoed, "She didn't make any moves, or say anything that would make you think otherwise?"
Feigning a surprised expression, his brows furrowed, "Not at all. She was actually quite eager, if I'm being completely honest. I was the one who was a bit wary - since she had been quite sick the day before and was only recovering that day too."
"During this time, were any clothes removed?"
"She was the one to remove her top first," he claimed, "I was surprised since she was underage, and I didn't want to go any further than what we had been doing, but also because she had always been quite shy and withdrawn."
"You're claiming Miss Ryan was the one who initiated more sexual contact?"
"Yes."
I had never felt more sick to my stomach - the blatant lies that were leaving his lips was almost astonishing to me. He didn't blink or flinch when he did - he just looked straight ahead with no particular emotion visible. With the back and forth questioning, came my time to be called up.
My lawyer stood across from me, her face drawn into an expression of concentration, "Ma'am, could you please state your name for the court?"
In the most stable voice I could muster up, I leaned forward to speak into the microphone, "My name is Naomi Ryan."
"How old are you, Miss Ryan?"
"I'm seventeen."
"I'm going to ask you to tell the judge about the incident that occurred on October tenth. Do you remember that day?"
"Yes, I do."
"Okay. Was there something significant that happened on that day?"
"Yes, there was."
"Can you please tell the Judge what events occurred on that night?"
"Unlike what Mister Jones has testified, we had previously arranged plans that night. He had texted me, asking if I had wanted to come over for dinner - although, he didn't mention his parents being present."
"So, he had been aware you were coming?"
"Yes, he did. Like Mister Jones said, our plan had been to just spend some time together and watch a movie before I went home. However, that didn't end up happening."
"Why not?"
"Before I could even find something to play, he came up to me and-"
"You were both in his bedroom at the stage, is that correct?" she interrupted, and I nodded.
"Yes. We were both in his bedroom. I had been standing close to the door, while he had been lying on the bed. At the time, we had a small argument about his parents, but he shut it down before we got too much into it."
"An argument?" she cocked her head to the side, "Could you elaborate on what is was about?"
"I. . . I had thought his parents were extremely disrespectful to me during the dinner, and I wanted to talk to him about it, in case I had misinterpreted anything. But, he assured me that I was only being sensitive as I was sick, and that I always tended to look into things too much. He claimed that I got upset over nothing, and so the conversation was closed."
"I see," she scratched at her chin for a second, "So, he didn't let you express your concerns properly, and dismissed them - and he had just gaslighted you into thinking you were making everything up?"
". . .Yes. That is correct."
"Now, could you explain to the Judge what happened after that?"
I sucked in a trembling breath, but I didn't dare move my gaze away from her warm one. I could feel his deadly glare, boring into the side of my head, but I tried my hardest to pretend it wasn't there. Negative thoughts accelerated inside my head. I tried to rid them, or slow them down so I could breathe, but my attempts were futile. My heart hammered inside my chest like it belonged to a rabbit running for its skin. Blinking back the fresh layer of tears that brimmed at my eyes, I nodded.
"Of course. After that, I was going to sit down and pick out a movie, but he just pushed me against the wall and started kissing me."
"And did you kiss him back?" she asked in a soft tone.
"Yes. I did kiss him back at first - my thought was that if I just made out with him for a few minutes, he would let me go and we could just watch the movie together before I had to leave."
"Did you say anything, or do anything?"
"I didn't really say anything at that particular moment, no. Before and during the first few minutes of him kissing me, I didn't say anything."
"Okay. Then what happened?"
I swallowed down the lump in my throat, "Then, I just pushed him away and told him I wasn't in the mood and to stop. I told him I didn't want to do this, but he continued kissing me anyway."
She gave me an confirmatory nod, "Then what happened?"
". . .He grabbed my by my wrists and pinned them above my head when I tried to push him away," I murmured, "He told me he wanted to show me how much he cared about me. That he wanted me to be a good girl and give in to him."
The words tasted bitter in my mouth, and my stomach lurched forward, but I forced myself to keep it down and faced the front with a neutral expression.
"Can you describe, at that point, your physical condition?"
"I was like a rag doll," I scoffed, "He picked me up and threw me onto the bed, like I weighed nothing. Even though I fought against him, it felt like all the energy had been zapped out of me."
"What happened next?"
"He pinned me down with his weight," I breathed, trying to regulate my overflowing emotions, "Mister Jones removed my top and snapped my bra off. I tried to stop him, but he was much stronger than me, and kept shouting at me to stop moving."
"All right. So, you were on the bed, correct?"
"Yes."
"Were you on your back?"
"Yes."
"Okay. And after he removed your top and bra, what happened?" she asked.
"I kept telling him to stop - that I didn't want to do this," I sobbed, "But he continued kissing my neck and body like he couldn't hear me. He told me I had always teased him with wearing shorts and crop tops around him and at one point, his hand came around my neck so I wouldn't be able to make any noise."
"He choked you?"
"Yes, he did. He kept telling me I would enjoy it if I just gave into the pleasure of everything, even though I was crying and screaming at him to get off of me. His hand slid down my body and he tugged off the jeans I had been wearing, and ripped the underwear off of me."
I released a shaky sigh and wiped at the corner of my eye that had started to overflow with tears. Then, the room fell silent for all of one moment, before she asked:
"Did Mister Jones vaginally penetrate you?"
The room span around me; my head a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing my mind into blackness. But, I managed to sneak one glance over to Tyler to see him leaning to one side, staring right at me. His lips were tiled downwards, and the ferocity that burned in his eyes would have scared even the devil himself. Forcing my gaze away, I turned to my lawyer and nodded.
"Yes. He did."
"Would you be able to describe to me, how that felt?" she asked, "If that's alright with you?"
"I don't think I would be able to describe with accuracy how painful it was," I choked, "It felt like I was being shredded in half - but I couldn't do anything, or move at all."
"And where were his parents at that point?" she questioned.
"I believe they were downstairs somewhere," I answered, unsure.
""You mentioned that you had been screaming and shouting a lot - don't you think they would have heard anything?"
"Nearly all of the rooms in his house are soundproof," I spat, "At that moment in time, I don't think they were aware of what was happening. No one would have heard me."
After a few more basic questions, my lawyer finally gave nod of her head and backed away, murmuring, "I rest my case."
Without missing a beat, Miss Ashworth sprung to her feet, immediately fixing her cold, blue eyes on me.
"Miss Ryan," she started, forcing a smile on her face, "Now, earlier you mentioned that you and Tyler had gotten into an argument on the night of October tenth - is that correct?"
"Yes," I said.
"Do you also agree that Mister Jones was a relatively respected young man in the community?"
"Some would say that, yes."
"And had Mister Jones ever been physically violent with you? Did he ever hit you?"
"Not before that night, no."
"Did he ever threaten to hurt you?"
"I received a letter from him, he threatened me, along with his demanding text messages," I rebuked.
"How do we know that it was Tyler who actually sent the letter?" she asked, raising a brow, "It could have been anyone."
"We had a handwriting analysis conducted," I shot back, "In the report, it can be seen as a ninety-nine percent match. That, and in the opening he mentions that he pulled a few strings with officials working in the station. The CCTV footage we have also shows him sneaking a letter to one of the policemen."
"Had you ever felt jealous of Mister Jones?" she quickly diverted the topic away with a smirk, "Of his success and when that fight broke out, you were annoyed and decided to concoct this entire story to get back at him?"
"No, that wasn't the case at all. I liked that Tyler was close with his family and I was always supportive of his success. There had never been any jealousy," I croaked, "He was my boyfriend and I loved him. I only ever wanted the best for him."
"Tell me, Miss Ryan, did you struggle at all while this was all happening?" she questioned, he voice sharp, "You mentioned that you felt like all the energy had been zapped out of you."
"I did struggle," I argued.
"Did you even attempt to get to your feet? Twisting at al?"
"Like I said, I was trying, but it was hard to do so when he was pinning me under his weight," I rebuked with a frown.
"Well, let me ask you this. Mister Jones claims that you were the one to initiate the sexual act, and removed your shirt. Is that correct?"
"No."
"Where were you arms when your shirt was being removed then?"
"They were above my head - he was holding them down."
"And you claim that you were on the bed at this stage, yes?"
"Yes."
"Were you in the same position when you claimed that he removed your pants?"
"Yes, I was."
"Did you kick your legs, to try and avoid them from being removed then?"
"He yanked them off of me in one or two tugs," I answered with a tremble, "I didn't get much time to stop him."
"And you were pushing him away?"
"I was trying, but it more so trying to push hm away with my body, because I couldn't use my hands and my legs were weak."
"And how long would you estimate this alleged sexual act going on for?" she asked with a tilt of her head.
"About twenty five minutes."
"During this whole time, you weren't fighting physically-"
"What? Yes, I was-"
However, Miss Ashworth didn't let me continue and continued talking, "And you weren't squeezing your legs together to prevent anything."
"I was - I mean, I was trying to squeeze them together - not kicking him, but just trying to push my knees together," I stumbled over some of my words, and I knew I was becoming a little more flustered.
"Hm," she nodded, but I could tell by her expression, she didn't believe me, "I have no more questions, Your Honor."
She turned around, strutting back to her seat with her head held high. Tyler's face was redder than it had been - eyes bulging and veins protruding from his neck. Even though I knew he couldn't do anything here, I was half-expecting him to lunge from his seat and attack me. With his nostrils flaring and hands clenched, I turned my head away. My shoulders sagged immediately and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. As soon as I was directed back to my seat from the witness stand, mother, father and Toby all pulled me into a group hug - collective tears brimming in their eyes.
"You did so well," dad murmured, tightening his hold on me. Mother and Toby both nodded and my body melted into the warmth they provided me. I didn't hold back in releasing the sobs I had been keeping in from having to relive every detail of that night. Toby's hand grasped mine as we pulled away and his own eyes were red and swollen from having cried too.
"God, Omi, I'm so fucking proud of you," he blubbered, his eyes shining in sadness.
"Thank you," I murmured; my voice quiet.
Once again, the room fell silent as the judge left the room to deliberate with the other juries. All we had to do now was wait. Yet, that was going to be the hardest part. The panic was like ice water surrounding every single limb, creeping higher and higher until it passed my mouth and nose.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I clung to the hope of being free, able to just be myself - away from this monster.
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
This was the last official chapter, guys!! Of course, I'll have an Epilogue and probably a few bonus chapters, but my God, this it it! This took me quite a while to write and I'm not sure if I even did a good enough job, but I genuinely hope you all enjoyed and of course, thank you for following and reading this story the whole way through. It means a lot.
I love you!