Power of words
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"Everyone wants happiness no one wants pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain"
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"I heard from one of the staff members that Jeonghan said Y/N's hips were too wide and that she's clingy and annoying. Apparently he Regrets being with her but dosent want to break her heart" A girl whispers and the girls in the bathroom giggle. They are facing the mirrors applying lipstick a colour 10 times darker than their skin.
They gossip, about idols, rumours and boys. Little did they know that Y/N is in the toilet, listening to everything they had to say regarding her - and her relationship with Seventeen's vocalist Yoon Jeonghan.
They had been going out for 3 years and counting, the relationship is a rainbow, full of happiness and rare arguments - arguments that had built the relationship to where it is now. They didn't plan to go public about it but life had other plans, they were spotted together in a beach at night, kissing on their 2nd year's anniversary. They confirmed the rumours and have since then been dating, the group gaining even more attention as news had spread around korea and even Europe. Why? Because Jeonghan has a foreign girlfriend.
Y/N sighs as she stands in the cramped toilet space, getting frustrated with the high pitched voices of the girls, Y/N slams her door open, the girls turn startled as they See Y/N.
"I-" A girl holding a make up palette stutters, but stops when Y/N gives her a heartwarming smile. Y/N then approaches the sink and washes her hands, feeling pressure as all the girl's 2 eyes were on her. She hurries and When she finishes she heads out, closing the door behind her, she walks - no direction in mind.
Y/N has always been one to be viewed as strong, competent and righteous by the people around her, but honestly, she is getting tired of putting a fake smile and acting like everything was so perfect and people's words didn't have a single affect on her, she wanted to show people how she really feels, she needed someone who she could speak to without being judged, she needed a shoulder to lean on.
Jeonghan is on tour, and Y/N knows he loves her, but does he really? It may have been merely a rumour but maybe...just maybe it might be true? She doesn't want To disturb him, she wants him to finish the tour with no worries.
Y/N ends up at the roof top of the broadcasting station, the mornings breeze is soft and calming, the streets can be seen going from empty to crowded in the matter of minuets.
Y/N is happy, she's happy with her life, happy with her boyfriend, happy. That's what she tells herself. But the sudden flood of anxiety tells her otherwise. The words the girls said earlier...Y/N had read comments, seen stuff miles worse online, but physically hearing it? That she never imagined. She never imagined how deep their words would cut, especially coming from girls that are prettier and more...standard than she is.
Y/N closes her eyes and sighs, her sigh is shaky and sad. She feels she's not good enough. She feels those girls were right. Her hips are nearly twice the size of theirs and her face dosent stand a chance next to theirs. What was this feeling? A growing ball of anxiety grows within her stomach and she feels sick. She feels sick and disoriented.
No, she didn't lack affection, Jeonghan and her fans have told her she was beautiful - that she was perfect the way she was. But naturally, her mind was unable to not compare, to not think elsewhere. Maybe it was the constancy, the fact they had called her beautiful so much- she had began to doubt it, she had began to feel insecure.
She's unable to accept herself and her body - so the question is; how could someone else possibly love her, if she can't even love herself?
Y/N unknowingly breaks down in tears, the words that she had heard had pierced her heart and created a big hole - where she feels empty, and now Jeonghan wasn't here to help her re-fill it.
Somehow all the pain Y/N has been keeping to herself for the last year has erupted into one loud yell, when she screams, she screams as loud as she can, stress slowly escaping from her body.
She stops screaming and sobs, her head painfully burning as she cries. She looks down at herself disgusted. They were right. They were so right. Who was she kidding? No one could love someone like her.
Y/N reaches in her pocket and retrieves her phone, scrolling through her contacts and calling Jeonghan.
"Hey Y/N" He says, "Ah goodnight Dino" his voice fades as he leans the phone away from his face.
"Hello?" Jeonghan asks once again.
"Jeonghan" Y/N speaks and he immediately senses something is off by her voice.
"Hey Y/N, what's wrong?" He asks concern all over his voice.
"We" She stops, "can't be together anymore"
His heart aches. For a second he thinks she's joking but her voice said otherwise. He hope she'd say something like "ahaha it's a prank" but that...never came.
"Y/N what's wrong, why so suddenly?" He asks, she could tell he is trying to keep his cool.
"We just can't be together anymore, I need a little time to myself and I don't want to be with anyone now" She says. She's doing what her brain tells her to do, but is that what her heart wanted?
"I need a reason, I can't just let you go, without a reason" Jeonghan says, his voice still firm.
"There is no reason, you're perfect I swear, it's not you, it's me" She speaks over the phone a hot tear rolling down the cheek.
"What about you!? What about you is so bad that you need to to break up with me, listen I love you and I don't know what's happened to you but you can't just break up with me, suddenly and without a reason." He speaks sternly over the phone, he wants to cry, but if she's breaking up with him- he knows she's probably going through something worse.
"I know, I'm sorry but...I can't be with you"
"But why? What have I done?"
"I told you it's not you, it's me" she says irritated.
"WELL EXPLAIN Y/N FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME WITHOUT A REASON" He yells over the phone. He's mad.
She muted the phone and sobs, she knows this is not what she wants, but at this moment in time she feels useless and powerless she feels broken and empty, she needed time for herself, but she was ashamed to admit she needed help, that she needed more love.
"I'm sorry" she cries through the phone as she hangs up.
On the other side, Jeonghan is heartbroken and lost, he feels his reason to live is gone, he feels his determination to keep going is gone, he feels his reason to wake up every morning is no more. He needs her, he tried his best give he what she deserves, He honestly tried to be a better man for her, but she leaves? ...without an understandable reason? That's what made him mad, it made him furious.
He falls into his hotel bed and yells into his pillow, anger spreading through his veins, he cries, he cries, he cries like any other heartbroken person.
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3 months later
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It had been 3 months since the couple broke up and they were both living their lives. Jeonghan's group were having a comeback and Y/N had started appearing on famous shows oftenly.
Honestly speaking, she had forgot details of what had happened that day, she had regretted breaking up with him simply after what she heard off some girls. But it's all part of life. Yes it hurts and it's painful but now Y/N loves herself more than ever, she had even begun a campaign for teens who were insecure and provided them with counselling, taking her story into consideration; she broke up with her perfect boyfriend because of what other people said about her looks.
Him in the other hand was living his life, after his first love had broken his heart - over the phone and without a reason, He had wrote an album with the help of bumzu and woozi they had created a relatable break up song, which has reached many views all around The world, they both spread their past - which is now a simple experience - to help other people struggling.
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I won't get too personal but this is based on true events. And honestly yes, you can get a sudden feel of insecurity while in a relationship but if you do, talk it out with your partner don't harm yourself and him simply because of an insecurity you can overcome. I promise you, you'll regret every single bit of it.