Hello hello hello beautiful people. Author here. 21 Chump Street reference! On a completely unrelated note, Happy Back To Hogwarts day for any HP fans out there. Since I have last updated, which has been forever, I have
1. Watched way too many of Andrew Barth Feldman and Alex Boniello's Broadway Jackbox live-streams
2. Watched the entirety of Avatar: the Last Airbender, Toph Beifong is iconic
3. Watched the entirety of SMASH and cried my eyes out over Kyle Bishop
If any of you haven't watched SMASH and don't want spoilers, please skip the next paragraph.
Ok. KYLE BISHOP DESERVED BETTER. He is a talented cinnamon roll who deserved the world, and put up with way too much of Jimmy's nonsense, and the one time he rightfully stood up to Jimmy, he freaking goes and GETS HIT BY A BUS. Honestly, I didn't cry over his death until the finale episode when Jimmy had to accept his Tony Award for him. Also, the comment Ivy Lynn made about how Hit List only made it to Broadway because Kyle died completely ruined my opinion of her character, even though she didn't mean it. Also, I have seen Andy Mientus in three different roles now (Marius Pontmercy: Les Mis bootleg, Hartley Rathaway: The Flash, and Kyle Bishop: SMASH) and he is amazing in every single one. So I will say it one more time. KYLE BISHOP IS A TALENTED CINNAMON ROLL WHO DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. Ok. As you can see, I am still not over it and probably never will be.
Alright, spoilers over. Enjoy the chapter.
Phillip's POV
Monday
"Sooooo, when are you going to ask Dia to homecoming?"
This is the THIRD time in the past twenty minutes that Frances has asked me that question. We're sitting at the table, waiting for the end of lunch. The Homecoming dance is Friday night, and I still haven't asked Dia like I want to. I know for a fact that she's going, date or no date, something about her and Damien being "powerful single ladies" or something. At least that's what Damien said.
"Well, why haven't you asked her yet?"
"Maybe because I was a little preoccupied with having been BEAT UP?"
"Good point."
Frances is right about one thing though. I'm running out of time to ask her. Which is why, when Dia gets up to go to English, I immediately run after her.
"Hey, hey, Dia!"
"Hey, Phillip."
Conversation starts up as we walk to English,but I keep stuttering over my words. I sound like Evan. I finally think I've gotten the courage to ask her by the time we reach the classroom.
"Hey, Dia, I was wondering-"
"Oh, Dia, there you are. Could you come over here for a minute? I have a question about your essay."
Come ON Aunt Peggy. I get that she's a teacher and she's got to do her job, but she has the worst timing. Dia walks off, and soon enough it's time for class and I've lost my chance.
Tuesday
"So have you asked her yet?"
"For goodness SAKES Frances!"
I STILL haven't asked Dia to the dance. I tried yesterday, got interrupted by my Aunt/English teacher, and didn't have another chance for the rest of the day. But today is the day. Today is the day that I ask Dia de la Vega to the homecoming dance. I can do this.
Dia and I are standing outside her locker while she puts her books up. Everything is fine, and I think I've gotten up the nerve to ask her.
"Hey, Dia, um, would you-"
CRASH
"Oh, I'm SO sorry, I totally didn't mean to bump into you. It was like a total accident."
Did I mention that I hate Regina George with every fiber of my being? I might even hate her more than Eacker, and he slammed me into a locker. Regina knocked Dia's armful of books to the floor, and she's got one bright pink Barbie heel pinning her binder to the floor. I kneel down to help Dia pick up her stuff, while Dia attempts to get her binder back from Regina.
"Regina, can you PLEASE take your shoe off of my binder."
"But why would I? Seeing you crawling around on the floor is SO satisfying."
That just makes me angry. So she interrupts my pathetic attempt (I'm self-aware) to ask out the girl I like, then insults her? I thought I was done with bullies for at LEAST a month.
"Regina, can you just give Dia back her binder so we can get to lunch?"
"Oh Phillip, I don't know why you're hanging out with her in the first place. You're like, way too good for her. You should just come hang out with my friends like I offered last year."
"See, that's where you're wrong, Regina. She's too good for me, and she's actually a nice person. That's why I hang out with her. And I don't hang out with you and your friends because you're all entitled jerks."
She seemed a little taken aback at the rejection, which I consider a win. Regina storms off, letting Dia pick up her binder. But my chance to ask her is gone, and we're getting closer to the dance.
Wednesday
Three days till the dance. Operation Ask Dia is still a complete and utter failure. I think Frances is about to disown me as her cousin because I haven't done it yet. I'm sitting in English, checking answers on an assignment. It's the perfect time to ask her. Well, not really perfect, but I have a feeling that this is the best time I'm going to get. Let's do this.
"Hey, Dia, I was just wondering-"
BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
Jeez. Curse you government required monthly fire drills. Everyone gets up and heads out the door, though I think I saw Frances flip off the fire alarm on her way out. Which honestly wouldn't surprise me, because I know she was watching the whole situation like a Netflix romantic comedy. We stand in line, single file like you learned in kindergarten, till we're allowed to go back inside. Then Aunt Peggy starts teaching again, and I still haven't asked her. Frances sums it up pretty well after class.
"This whole situation is starting to feel like the plot of a bad fanfiction."
Thursday
It's been FOUR DAYS, and I still haven't asked her. I didn't have a single chance at school today to ask her, so screw it. I don't care how unclassy or whatever Frances says it is, I'm just going to text her.
PipThePoet: Hey Dia can I ask you something
DiaDiaDia: sure. My battery's low tho, so hopefully it doesn't die on me
PipThePoet: I was just wondering
DiaDiaDia has been disconnected
PipThePoet: if you'd go to HoCo with me? (message not delivered)
Friday
Homecoming is tonight. I'm going, sure. I just don't know if I'm going with Dia. I've been trying all week, but something goes wrong every time. Every. Single. Time. So I'm going to do it. Right here, outside of Dia's first period class. I am GOING TO DO IT. Just get it out, just tell her. All I have to say is, Hey Dia, would you go to the dance with me? No problem, right?
"Hey Phillip, what were you going to ask me last night? My phone died at the WORST time."
Oh, great. I can't procrastinate any more. Pull it together, Hamilton. You can do this.
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you...got the extra credit question on the English test?"
"Honestly? I skipped it. Ms. Laurens makes those way too hard."
Great, so I finally got the chance to ask her, and I couldn't even get the words out! Nice job, Hamilton, you screwed up. Now, she's going to class, and you won't have enough time to ask her any other time today, so you threw away your shot. You threw it so far away that you'll never get it back. Guess I'll go to homecoming alone, stare at Dia the entire time like a creep, and wallow in self pity. To top it all off, I'm pretty sure Frances crammed herself in the nearest locker for the sole purpose of spying on me, and as soon as she gets out I'm a dead man.
Aaaand that's a wrap. Hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to keep on smiling and keep on surviving everyone.
Peace Out ✌️
Author
1129 words