EPILOUGE
3 YEARS LATER
Why was I doing this? There was no way in hell I’d have any fun. I was nervous just thinking about it.
“Angel, are you alright?” Will came into the room of our apartment.
Will was twenty six now. He had only become more muscular since we moved. He and I went to the local gym together two or three times a week to blow off steam and stay fit. That was his biggest physical change since we had moved.
His burning eyes stared into mine showing me he was paying close attention to how I was feeling about tonight.
He was wearing black jeans and a pale blue button up shirt. He. as always, looked perfect.
“Can you zip this?” I asked, turning around and holding up my long black hair.
His warm hands brushed my back as he zipped up the dress.
“Thank you.” I muttered, going into our bathroom and looking in the mirror.
The dress was strapless and a royal blue that made my eyes stand out. It was tight around my breasts and hips, there was a slit at the thigh on one side. It went down to my knees.
I currently weighed 127 pounds, my doctor here was content with it. Will told me I was more gorgeous then ever. I had decided this was a healthy weight for me. I wasn’t in treatment anymore, I still talked to Leah and Amber when I could.
I was still struggling with self injuring. It only happened maybe once a month or so.
“You look fine.” He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Do I?” I grabbed my concealer and my eye liner.
“You don’t need that,” he sighed, looking at the concealer. “It’s not noticeable.”
The concealer was for the scar from my father biting my neck.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes and it’s not like I’m letting anyone that doesn’t know get close enough to find out.” He pointed out.
I nodded, putting it away.
When Will had first seen the bite marks, he had been appalled and angry, I had thought it was directed at me. I had tried to run from him. the whole thing was a miscommunication that caused a huge fight between us.
“Are you sure you want to go?” he asked, leaning against the counter as I applied a bit of make up.
“Positive.” I replied. “I’m just nervous.”
There was a sudden knock at the door, my hand jerked making me smear mascara on my face.
I was still somewhat skittish so things like this happened a lot. I was used to it and so was Will.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
Will laughed and handed me a tissue. “I’ll get it.”
I quickly wiped it off and heard Will talking to my three friends from Berklee. I assumed they had brought their boyfriends as well.
My new friends, Tasha, Nicole and Julia, were amazing. We all became friends in the first month of my first year. Tasha had been at the school for a year already but Nicole and Julia were also new. They slowly gained my trust and I eventually told them my story, they also told me their own in return.
It turns out Nicole is bulimic, Julia has leukemia and Tasha self injures a lot. They helped me recover and I did my best to help them as well.
Will was concerned after my first week of college because I seemed to be upset every day. I didn’t think I was good enough to be there and I was still pretty afraid of people.
Dr. Rivers and Professor Blake from auditions helped me get over that stage. Blake was surprisingly fairly nice, unlike in the past.
Will had gotten a new teaching position as a music teacher at a new high school. He liked it more because he just had to teach music. He loved the school and most of the kids.
Will had me come in multiple times, if I didn’t have class, to either help in lessons or talk about Berklee. Everyone seemed nice enough there.
“Rainah!” Nicole called from the main room. “Get your little butt out here!”
“Coming!” I called back after the mascara looked better.
I joined them and the three girls all cat called and I hid behind Will.
“Could you guys be any less obnoxious?” I asked, smiling despite myself.
“Afraid not.” Julia laughed.
“Are you two ready to go?” Tasha asked Will and I. She held on to her boyfriend, Mark’s hand.
Nicole and Julia were going together as friends.
“Let’s go.” I smiled.
We all walked the few blocks down to the nightclub. Thankfully, it wasn’t terribly cold outside.
It was my twenty-first birthday and my friends and I decided to go to a club. I was excited and nervous.
It would be crowded, loud and full of drunk people. I knew I’d have a panic attack from the lack of space inside but I hoped I could get over it. I wanted to have fun tonight and maybe get drunk.
Will wasn’t sure if I was ready for this. I knew he wasn’t drinking tonight so he could keep a close eye on me. I probably needed that.
We were standing right outside of the loud club, getting our ID’s checked by a bouncer.
“Go ahead.” He nodded, gesturing our group to go in.
I grabbed Will’s hand and stayed close to him. there were crowds of people everywhere, peoples arms brushed against me and I moved closer to Will.
The others went straight for the bar but Will led me to a table, away from the mob. He noticed my panic.
I scanned the crowd nervously, it was a habit I got, looking for my father.
“You know he’s not here, love.” He told me, squeezing my hand.
I forced myself to breathe deeply, I knew Will was right.
My father is in a jail five hours away from where we were with a life sentence. He had no chance of bail. The trial took a month or so, a painful process for everyone involved. He had been charged with the murder of Ash, rape of my mother and myself, assault of us and for trying to kill police officers before the trial had begun.
“I’m okay now.” I smiled at Will. The panicky feelings had disappeared.
“Willy!” a familiar voice called. My eyes found Shane coming towards us, Zoey and Xavier were behind him.
I was shocked. When did they get here? Why did them come up? I was happy to see them but I was just confused.
“Hey!” Will was grinning at them.
“Almost didn’t recognize you.” Xavier came over to me. “Surprise.”
I hesitantly hugged him. “How are you three here?”
“We couldn’t miss your birthday celebration!” Zoey exclaimed.
My friends came back over and introduced themselves. Zoey, Xavier, Shane, Will and I all headed over to the bar.
“Any idea what you wanted to get?” Will asked me.
“No clue.” I shook my head. “What should I try?”
“I want you and Xavier to try jello shots!” Shane declared, asking a bartender for a bunch.
When he brought a tray of jello shots, we took them back to our table. Shane easily downed the first one and gestured for Xavier to take one.
He grabbed a cup and drank it quickly. “It’s weird.”
“It’s supposed to be.” Will smirked at his brother.
I grabbed a red one. I tried to do it the way I had seen Xavier do it, quickly. But this was my first taste of alcohol. The burning, tingling sensation in the back of my throat startled me but I swallowed. It was a strong shot.
I coughed when I put the cup down, Will laughed quietly.
“He’s right, it’s weird.” I muttered as Shane, Xavier, and I grabbed another shot.
“But you like it, don’t you?” Shane grinned.
I became a bit tipsy after the second shot. I felt more relaxed, I laughed and talked more with everyone.
After my third, Will suggested I stopped for now.
“You’re a bit of a lightweight.” Shane smirked. I was leaning on Will, giggling to myself.
“No, I could do more, silly! But my man said no.” I laughed.
“You are crazy.” Will was chuckling, his breath tickled the side of my face.
“And you are pretty.” I countered. “Let’s go dance!”
Will got up and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him. I was stumbling a bit but we made it on to the dance floor.
I danced with everyone, I didn’t care or notice if people I knew touched me. I was almost constantly laughing as my head buzzed from the alcohol. I was having a lot of fun.
Will let me have a few more shots after a little bit. I honestly wasn’t very aware after that.
All I could really remember before I passed out was all of us leaving the night club.
I had no nightmares and that only ever happened when I was sick.
In the morning, I woke up, groaning. My head was throbbing and for a moment, I thought I had fallen to the ground and hit my head. But when I felt my head carefully, nothing was there.
“Fuck.” I mumbled, getting up. My stomach lurched and I rushed to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Rainah?”
“Go away.” I moaned to Will before I threw up again.
I heard the door open, he sat on the bathtub next to the toilet and rubbed my back.
“Go.” I said again, nudging him with my arm.
“Nope.”
I threw up one more time before I felt like I was done.
Why was I throwing up? Was it the alcohol? I had a brief thought about if I was pregnant but I highly doubted it. We had been careful, I was on birth control and my period hadn’t been late.
“Does this normally happen?” I asked him, he helped me to stand up.
“It happens a fair amount to people who are new to hangovers.” He nodded.
I rinsed my mouth out.
“Where are Shane, Zoey and Xavier?” I hoped they were still around. I wanted to see them and they shouldn’t drive drunk.
“Shane and Zoey are in the main room. Xavier is in the other bedroom.” He told me. He handed me two painkillers.
“Thank you.” I smiled gratefully.
“Figured you’d need it.” He said. “I probably let you have one or two more shots then I should’ve.”
“How bad was I?”
“You were pretty bubbly.” He chuckled. “You danced with everyone.”
At least I didn’t do anything stupid, I thought to myself.
Xavier, Shane and I rested most of the day. Zoey and Will, who had stayed sober last night, nursed us.
We all talked a bit about how things were here and back at home. Will and I tried to come down once or twice a month but it still never felt like we got to see them much.
I asked about the girls and they said Sky was working hard for a art contest at her school and Lily was getting ready for a dance recital. They were busy but still happy.
After the warehouse, the three of us drifted and argued a bit. They didn’t understand why I wasn’t the same and why I wouldn’t let them touch me. They were hurt and I felt horrible but I couldn’t do much about it back then. Before I went to college, we resolved things, they realized after Bethany talked to them that I would need time. We didn’t fight after that.
I tried to do something, just the three of us, every time I went home. We were becoming closer again like Xavier and Will had to.
Xavier and Will were really close now. There was no more tension between them. Xavier even let Will and I meet his boyfriend a few months ago. He is a really nice guy so Will and I were very happy for him.
Zoey told me my mother had stopped by last weekend. She tended to go see the girls once every few months. She was still a mess based on what the girls told me.
My mother started trying to connect with us two years ago. Bethany had initially discouraged it but she supported it when the girls said they’d like to see her sometimes. I saw her less then they did but she would call and talk to me sometimes. She never talked about my father or what happened.
“Can we all go for a walk or something? As nice as this apartment is, I’m tired of being cooped up.” Shane asked us, looking out a window.
“Alright.” I agreed, everyone else nodded.
Everyone grabbed our jackets before we went out to a park near the apartment.
I raised my eyebrows at Zoey who was grinning. I had no idea why and it was pretty weird to me.
Will seemed a bit off as well. He kept running a hand through his hair and staring at me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked him, quiet enough for only us to hear.
“Not at all.” He smiled at me but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked afraid and that was setting me on edge.
I left it alone for now, I’d get him to tell me later when we were completely alone.
The five of us walked to my favorite spot of the park. the park was a trail around a lake. There were a few bridges the went over streams that led to the lake.
My favorite bridge was one that had a small waterfall that led into a creek that flowed into the lake. The creek was surrounded by huge oak trees, tall grass and large boulders. You could see tadpoles and minoes swimming in the water.
It was so peaceful and serene to me. The sound of the waterfall and crickets chirping was soothing.
I had been down in the creek a few times with Will or my friends, it was difficult to get in or out but it was possible.
“Can we go down there?” Xavier asked me.
“You can try if you want to.” I replied.
“Let’s do it!” Zoey said, grabbing Shane and Xavier’s hands and leading them towards the boulders that they would have to climb over.
I watched in amusement as Shane struggled to get over a boulder. I turned towards Will.
“Should we go-?” I saw him getting on one knee. My mind went blank from shock. I didn’t believe what I thought he was doing, so I asked. “What are you doing?”
He took my hand and looked into my eyes.
He was nervous because he was going to purpose. I knew for sure when he grabbed out a jewelry box.
“Rainah Carson, you are my soul mate and the love of my life.” He started. “From the first day I met you, I knew you were special but I could have never guessed how much you would mean to me. You have stolen my heart and I can’t go five minutes without thinking of you. I am under your spell.
“Our love was unconventional and wrong in so many peoples eyes. Sometimes, it seemed that the whole world was against us but we, together, conquered. We fought through. There have been so many challenges and I would do it all again if I had to. Together we have been to hell and back. We survived our ordeals, each won our own battles and still came out on top together.”
He paused, taking a breath to recompose himself. I had the hand that wasn’t holding his pressed against my lips in shock. Tears welled in my eyes.
“I don’t know how I could survive without you. You are my everything. I don’t know who I’d be if I never met you. You let me into your life and I let you into mine. You help me everyday and you understand me.
“Rainah, you are beautiful, strong, talented, loving, smart and selfless. I would be honored to have you as my wife. So, love, marry me?”
He opened the box and revealed a blue sapphire ring with two small silver diamonds on either side.
“Oh my god…” I cried, tears quickly streaming off my face but I had no doubt in my response. “Yes.”
He slid the ring on my finger before standing up, grinning widely at me. I saw a few tears from him as well.
He embraced me and I sobbed into his chest. The joy and happiness I felt was overwhelming. He loved me enough to marry me.
“I love you.” I choked out. “So much.”
He stroked my hair. “I know, I love you too.”
I looked up and kissed him, trying to show him how much I loved him. there was so much passion behind that kiss from both of us that my knees almost collapsed. Will kept me upright though.
I thought I heard Xavier, Shane and Zoey cheering but I was too far away with my new fiancé, Will, to really acknowledge them.
When I was a little girl, I used to love reading fairy tales about prince charming rescuing a girl. They always lived happily ever after.
I had given up on the idea of happily ever after’s when my father started hitting me.
Will came into my life and saved me and my sisters. He helped me even when I had refused to answer his questions. He has helped my with my anorexia and cutting. He saved me again at the warehouse. He helped me try to get over that and move on. He helped me learn to enjoy life rather then just living as a shield.
He is my happily ever after. This was it and although it wasn’t perfect, it was pretty damn close.
authors note coming up soon, tonight or tomorrow. what did you think?
Comment and vote!
<3
Tori