She went to the washroom and cleaned the coffee, but the burns couldn't be removed after washing from water, not the burns on her hand or abdomen, but the burn that she got on her heart.
She goes to her room and goes up on the first floor of her room. She opened the drawer and took her diary. She remembers the last time she wrote in her diary. It was the day of her and Kunal's engagement day. She didn't have to use it after she found her Ajeeb Rajwansh. She sat on the ground and leaned her back on the wall.
She opened her diary and caressed her fingers on her written things. She took out a fresh paper and put the dairy on her thighs , took a pen from the holder, and started writing.
kehta ye pal
khud se nikal
jeete hain chal
jeete hain chal
jeete hain chal
gham musaafir tha jaane de
dhoop aangan mein aane de
jeete hain chal
jeete hain chal
jeete hain chal (the song continued)
She wiped her tears as it was paining more inside her heart than the burn on her hand and abdomen.
Hi Dairy. (20-08-2020 Thursday)
I didn't use you for a full 1 year, but as you know, my life was never a sweet chocolate. Instead, it was just like a bitter guard. So I again came to take your support. I thought I would never use you again, but again, I had to use you. again, I came to talk to you. Again, I came to talk to my non-living best friend. You know what happened today. (she wrote all the things that happened and continued writing)
Abir would have spoken to her that it was her fault! Can't he say her to walk slowly? Can't he see that it was her fault? Can't he see my pain? Can't he just talk to Kuhu and make her understand that always bursting on silly or on their own fault is not good? Can't he make her understand to accept her own faults and not to give the credit of her faults to anyone else? Can't he take a stand for me(a tear escaped her eyes and fell on the paper)? Does kuhu's happiness matter more than my pain???
(she put her one hand on her mouth that no sound comes)
Can't he be impartial in taking a stand? Can't he see that the magazine problem was not created by me?? Can't he say her that throwing tantrums on me would wake the question on my self-respect?? Can't he make her understand that anyone else has a self respect too other than her?? Can't he just do this instead of standing... and... Looking at her and rolling his eyes.
hichki ruk jaane de
siski tham jaane de
is pal ki ye guzaarish hai
marna kyun jee lena
boondon ko pee lena
She kept her one hand on her mouth and others, covering both her eyes and crying. She again opened her diary
Don't cry! Stop it!! You are not your badimaa's kaacnh ki gudiya. You are strong!! Be strong!! Don't be sensitive!! Just forget it and move on. You have to do it many more times. You have to compromise in this because kuhu is immature and child, but when will she grow up!? Till when will I be able to compromise!? Why don't I have the right to say someone who is doing wrong?? You can't do it, Mishti, because now you are married and your decision will affect both families. If I won't forget kuhu's words, then this family is gonna break brutally, and my tag of a broken family girl breaks family will become permanent in my life. I hate you, mom, dad!! why didn't you kill me after you came to know about me?? Why do you let me grow in your womb and not kill me!? There were many options to get rid of a baby that hadn't come in your life yet, and if you had killed me, I would not have to bear all this! All the tags that I got, from muhboli, street puppy, garbage, and a girl who only know how to break a family. why did you and Papan't kill me!?? Don't you remember me? Don't you remember one of the parts that you had left behind?? Now I feel so unwanted. I feel like nobody loves me now. My life would have been better if you would let me in a river or deep inside the jungle or in a fire!! But this is so bad! why did you leave me? I hate my dadi. Did she even have one per cent of love for me? You left for your new life!! Why did you leave me?? Is it because I am a girl or you started hating me after I became closer to my taiji? (Akshara) But that wasn't my fault again!! A child goes where he/she gets more happiness, and you didn't even care if I ate something or not. It was always taiji who used to feed me. She did all the duties of a mother when I was a child. (Tears fell on the paper)
om trayambakam yajaamahe
sugandhim pushTi vardhanam
urvaarukamiva bandhanaan
mrtyormuksheeya maaamrtaat
[This is the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra, to worship Lord Shiva, especially in times of difficulty.]
I don't want to live like this in which not even a single person supports me other than you(diary). Why should I compromise in everything diary? Don't I have the right to say something to them who insulted me? I don't know what to do and what not to do. I have an idea but I don't know what the result will be. The idea is, should I stop talking to everyone. Should I be quiet to make the surroundings quiet, as Kuhu says that the main problem is me. I will not say anything if Kuhu yells at me. I will just say sorry and move from there. What if she... No, don't think this much. You know na diary. I love Abir so much, and if fighting with Kuhu makes him angry, then I won't fight for anything, or I won't take a stand for myself. I won't do anything. Just be a submissive wife and bahu and a mature woman. That's it! I have decided now. This is all I have to do to maintain peace in this house and if I am going to break in pieces it's ok it's fine it will be fine it has to be fine (she wrote to motivate herself) I won't let this family break at any cost. Now, bye or else I would get some more taunts by Kuhu and Nidhi maami.
Byeee will meet you at night.
om trayambakam yajaamahe
sugandhim pushTi vardhanam
urvaarukamiva bandhanaan
mrtyormuksheeya maaamrtaat
__________________________________________________
Mishti went down to do her NGO work. She did some work, and Nanu called her.
(In this story, Nanu is there he just came after yesterday's Kuhu mishti fight)
She went inside the room and knocked on the door.
Nanu: aree mishti darwaza khat-khatane ki zarurat Nahi Hain andar aajao beta
Mishti came inside, and he patted the bed beside him, indicating her to sit... She sat beside Nanu.
Nanu: kyaa hua hai Mishti beta
Mishti: Kuch Nahi hua Nanu aap bataye Aapka dard Kaisa Hain
Nanu: ab thik Hain aur tum Mujhe Nanu mat bolo I am young bro🤟✌️
She laughed at Nanu
Nanu: ab bata kya baat Hain mere ghadere ne Kuch Kiya hai kya ya fir bigben ne Kiya
(Note: he knows what happened with her 3-4 months before)
Mishti: nahi Nanu bas mere sar me dard Hain aur Kuch Nahi
Nanu: kahan Hain ghadera usse itna bhi Nahi pata ki uski wife ke sar me dard Hain aur aankh suja hua hai bulao usee
Mishti: Nanu... Nanu relax thoda hi dard horaha Hain.. aap to aise bol Rahe Hain jese abir aapke dushman team Hain aur aap unko batana chahte ho (she laughed, of course fake laugh)
Nanu: to ab kamre me aaram karlo beta aur dawai bhi le Lena
Mishti: Nahi Nanu abhi thoda kaam Hain thode Der baad zarur aaram Kar lungi lekin abhi aap (she said while cover him with a thin blanket on him) aaram kijiye main chalti hun
Nanu: aaram Kar Lena
Mishti: ji!! (She said closing his door a little)
Nanu in mind: kitni pyaari bacchi Hain lekin tabiyat kharab lag Raha Hain uska yeh ghadera karta kya rehta Hain
_________***__________
She went to the kitchen as she had finished her NGO work. Mishti was boiling some milk, and she saw Kuhu was working something on the laptop.
Kuhu: Parul ma please Ek glass Pani dengi kya?
Parul was making dough for making rasgulla (Indian sweet), so she told Mishti to give water to Kuhu. She switched off the gas. She hesitated a bit while going there because if she made any mistake or Kuhu made any mistake, then she would directly shout at her. She took the glass of water and went to Kuhu. When Kuhu saw her, she rolled her eyes and took the glass of water from her. She was acting like a typical mother-in-law. She went to the kitchen after taking the glass back from her.
Parul: aree beta doodh garam karlena chahiye tha na (she said in a soft voice)
Mishti: masi Mai kuhu ko paani dene gai thi agar late ho jaati to Woh immature hoke phir mujhpe chillati
Purul: thik Hain mishti abhi doodh garam krdo (softly)
Mishti boiled the milk and put it in the fridge...
Mishti: masi aaj (she stopped remembering what she wrote in her diary)
Masi: Haan bolo mishti
Mishti: Nahi Kuch Nahi maasi bas aese hi
Masi: Tu bhi na
Abir came from the main door and he looked very angry... He sat in the sofa beside kuhu
Mishti came with a glass of water and gave him.. he gulped full water that was contained in the glass
Kuhu: aree mishti Maine tujhse paani manga tha tune Diya kyun Nahi
Abir looked at Mishti.. mishti do her head down
Mishti: Maine Diya to tha
Kuhu: kahan Diya tuune bas ek hi Baar to diya tha
Mishti: tuune mujhse maanga hi Nahi phirse
Abir: ab please tum dono itne chote baat pe mat lado
Kuhu: Mujhe Kisi se ladne Ka koi shauk nahi Hain Maine to bas isse paani manga tha
Mishti: shayad Mujhe sunai Nahi Diya Hoga main abhi laati hun
(Note: jab coffee Gira to mishti Ka sleeves uupar tha usne full sleeve Ka kapda pehna tha)
Abir saw her pale face. Mishti went to the kitchen to bring water for Kuhu when she felt two arms wrapped around her. Masi had gone to MeenU's room with her medicine. She felt good but still not too much good she felt like moving from there but again remembered what she wrote in her diary.
Abir: kya hua angry chorni
Mishti: Kuch na..nhi bas main... Mujhe... I mean main paani de Kar aati hun kuhu ko warna naraz hojaegi
Abir: aur Mera kya
Mishti was in her place with water in her hands... She was feeling a bit uncomfortable... She was feeling like crying but controlled herself...
Mishti pushed him slightly and took the glass of water, and gave it to Kuhu. Now really she was feeling a headache so she went to the room.
She slept for some time and woke up at lunchtime.
So that's all for today. I hope you all like it
Many of you may not like Abir's behaviour. Soon, he will understand his Angry Chorni and will take her side and will be her dhaal (shield)
Keep reading ❤️❤️
~mish_carefree