August 25, 2019 - Day One Hundred and Seventy Seven
8:16 pm
It has been many months since Joy had moved to Jeju. Slowly, she has been opening up to the idea that Jeju can be that place she can finally call her home. Well, why wouldn't it be?
Mrs. Yook, of course, became her regular cooking buddy after their successful tandem during Sungjae's birthday. Once a week, they would meet up to try new recipes. Grocery shopping was now a fun activity for Joy as she doesn't have to do it alone anymore.
She has grown closer to Sungjae's hyungs, too, as she helped them strategize in Sungjae's fast growing business. They have taken her out to various road and food trips in return. She loved how each of their personalities are so different but they seem to blend well, especially when trying to make her laugh.
Her own business also seems to take off well. Being friends with probably the loudest people in the world, the news about a baker who does customized cakes and other pastries spread across town quickly, causing her orders to significantly increase. She was welcomed warmly by the community and supported her baking.
And of course... Sungjae. They have grown so much closer now that people actually think that they are a couple. Even Mrs. Yook insists on calling her daughter already. Joy can't exactly say where they are now in their relationship, though. Sungjae would do the most heart fluttering moves on her, but at the same time he would tease her just like a younger sister. She can't deny the fact that she likes him, but she doesn't know if he feels the same. It was always a push-pull kind of thing.
Joy and Sungjae were now placing finishing touches to Joy's unit. The furniture was re-arranged, a new carpet was laid out, and even the curtains were changed into green- Joy's favorite color.
"Ahh! I'm so tired! That's all, right? I mean look at this place! It looks like it came straight from a magazine" Sungjae proudly looked at their hard work as he rested on the couch.
"Hmm, just one last thing, Oppa" Joy took out picture frames and carefully placed them on top of a low side cabinet. She was smiling from ear to ear just looking at the pictures she has taken with the people that welcomed her. This was a perfect finale to the decorations in her unit. Sungjae actually has been convincing her to redecorate her unit to give it a sense of ownership, a sense of home to Joy. With her walls finally down, she finally agreed.
And this is what it feels like... home.
Joy's sentiments were disrupted when Sungjae wrapped her waist tightly from the back with his strong pair of arms. He swayed their bodies gently.
"Recharge" Sungjae whispered. His warm breath hits Joy's neck making her feel goosebumps.
Sungjae picked up one photo while still staying in their position- it was a photo of him and Joy with drawings on their faces after they each lost a round in a card game. A smile automatically grew on his face.
"Where's my recharge, Sooyoung-ah? You made me move so many things today! My poor back hurts already" Sungjae suddenly whined. He was really up for skinships lately.
Joy chuckled. She knows Sungjae is already pouting even without looking at him. She finally turned around to meet Sungjae face to face. In a swift motion and without warning, she landed a soft kiss on Sungjae's cheek. "Recharge, Oppa" followed by her killer eye smile.
Sungjae obviously did not expect that. He was too stunned to move. When he slightly recovered, he wasn't even able to say a word as Joy tightly hugged him again, resting her head on his chest.
"Oppa, thank you for everything" Joy sounded like she was about to cry. She was just so happy right now that her heart was overflowing with emotions.
This time, Sungjae immediately responded by returning the hug with one hand while his other hand stroked the back of her neck. "Sooyoung-ah, you're suddenly turning into a drama queen after all our re-arranging, eh? I think we need to call Mr. Beer right now. Drinks at the rooftop? What do you think?" Sungjae asked, to which Joy responded with a nod.
Sungjae had always been sensitive towards Joy's feelings. He was happy that Joy was finally opening up especially to him, but little did he know that Joy actually had another agenda in mind that's why she agreed to a beer night.
Maybe tonight is the right time. Joy thought to herself.
———-
After a quick trip to the convenience store, Joy and Sungjae were now seated comfortably at the rooftop, each carrying a bottle of beer in their hand.
Joy decided to break the silence. "Oppa..."
"Hmm?"
"Have I ever made you happy?" Joy was fidgeting with her fingers. The universe knows how much courage she must have mustered just to ask that question, well partly thanks to alcohol, too. She was happy... but this thing with Sungjae -whatever it is... she's already desperate to know what it is.
I promise I won't cross the line if this isn't mutual.
Sungjae was taken aback. He kind of gets what Joy's question meant but he always has a problem with voicing his thoughts and feelings. He looked at Joy and sighed. How would he even begin?
Joy bit her lip. I guess it isn't mutual.
"Sooyoung-ah..."
"It's okay Oppa" Joy interrupted Sungjae. "I know you're so bad at words. That's why I even made your introduction in your app! You take advantage of me too much, huh?" Joy tried to joke to ease the pang of pain she was already feeling in her chest.
"Sooyoung-ah... please listen first" Sungjae sighed. He tilted Joy's face so they can meet eye to eye.
"Before you came, I was in this black hole, you know? On the outside, I tried my best to look okay but deep inside I was crushed. I looked down at myself. I questioned myself everyday why Sohyun left me when I did my best to give everything to her"
Sungjae paused a while to have another drink from his bottle. Joy could see nothing but pain in his eyes.
SoHyun... of course. You still love her.
Sungjae clicked his tongue. "We were childhood best friends. As time passed, I just fell in love with her. She was known to be shy and sweet, but she was actually a free spirit. She knows me the most, and vice versa. But everything changed when we went to college. I did business and she did fashion design. Obviously, she would have a new set of friends. I don't know but one day she just... changed. We used to love going to the sunsets, but then she just wanted to go to the malls. We used to enjoy stay-at-home bondings, but then she said it was boring. I tried adjusting to her wants... I really did. I just wanted her happy. But one day she just left without saying goodbye" Sungjae was now sobbing. He had kept these emotions to himself for so long as he didn't want to bother anyone. He would just usually drown himself in alcohol to numb the pain. Today, he lets loose.
Joy, on the other hand, looked away as she was trying to hold back her own tears. She understands Sungjae. She really does. She hated being left behind. Out of all people in the universe, she knows the most about the pain of being left behind. But hearing him talk about his first love was a different kind of added pain for Joy. Yet all she could do right now is to reach out to Sungjae's hand to give him some comfort.
I wish she knows how lucky she is to be chosen by you.
Sungjae responded to Joy's touch by entangling their hands. He played with her fingers for a while before giving her hand a tight squeeze. Joy looked at Sungjae with confused eyes.
"But Sooyoung-ah... you were my healing. You helped me even if I was a nobody and unworthy. You changed me for the better. There wasn't a day that you didn't make me happy. I hope you never ask that question again. You are happiness itself" Sungjae looked at Joy with such gentle eyes.
Joy melted with his words. Maybe they weren't at the same level yet when it comes to their feelings, but at least she can feel that she was someone important too for Sungjae. Joy opened another bottle and tried to drink all of its contents in one go. She was determined to fulfill her mission tonight, regardless of what she heard earlier about SoHyun.
You'll only live once. I don't want to have regrets.
"Ya! Sooyoung-ah! Where did you even get your drinking habits huh?" Sungjae said as he grabbed the bottle from Joy.
"S-sorry Oppa. I just need a little push. I just need to get this out in my system before I go crazy" Joy mumbled quickly.
"What do you me-"
"I love you, Sungjae. I will always believe in you. You were my healing, too..." Joy said as blush creeps into her cheeks. Perhaps its just the alcohol?
Sungjae was surprised by Joy's sudden confession. His heart was beating so fast.
"Ah! There I said it! No regrets!!! I have to go now, Oppa. Sorry. Forget about that tomorrow!!!" Joy quickly stood up to save herself from embarrassment.
Sungjae though was quick enough to stop her the moment he snapped back to reality. He grabbed her wrist and stood in front of her. It is as if the whole world stopped as he stared at Joy's face. She was radiating under the bright moonlight, and the tint of blush on her cheeks was too beautiful.
He didn't know why but he felt like there was only one right thing to do now...
He cupped Joy's cheeks and stared at her twinkling eyes... then to her pointed nose... then to her parted lips.
In a split second, Joy felt Sungjae's lips brush onto hers. She was frozen for a while until she just let loose. Even if Sungjae couldn't say to her those three words yet, feeling him like this could be enough for now...
...and so she kissed him back.
The light kiss soon turned into a deeper passionate one as Sungjae angled his head. His tongue slid against Joy's lips, asking for entrance. Joy gasped at the sensation and Sungjae took this opportunity to invade her mouth and to finally have taste of her.
It felt surreal for Sungjae- Joy tasted like all the sweet things in the world, on top of the tinge of alcohol still present in her.
He doesn't know why but there was a sense of familiarity in Joy's soft lips. Their tongues played with each other naturally. Sungjae's hand slowly went down to Joy's waist and brought her closer to his chest while Joy's hands rested on Sungjae's neck. The two only stopped when they were out of breath.
They rested their foreheads against each other while trying to catch their breaths. Nothing else was said after. The loud beating of their hearts and their beaming smiles were enough.
It was an unforgettable night for the two of them.
———
11:49 pm
Sungjae was now staring at his bedroom ceiling. He pinched his cheeks, trying to stop himself from smiling like a fool. It has only been an hour since he parted with Joy but he already wants to message her again.
Suddenly, his phone rang. Someone was calling.
Sungjae chuckled.
You couldn't get enough of me too, huh, Sooyoung-ah?
He reached for his phone and answered it immediately.
"Missed me already? Aish. It's so hard to be this handsome!" Sungjae teased right away.
"Oppa..."
Sungjae's smile slowly faltered. He's definitely still sober. He only had 2 bottles tonight and he could definitely hear the person from the other line call him Oppa. But this time he knew...
...it wasn't Joy.
"SoHyun..."