I feel Adora's hand slowly ruffling into my hair, and I bump my head against her palm while a rumble erupts from my throat. "Mrrp?"
Adora gasps, "That was so cute! Do it again. Please, please do it again."
"Pfft, what are you talking about," I say, yawning and stretching out. "Do what?"
Adora frowns and starts making weird noises. "Prup? Prapp?"
"Hah! You loon, what's gotten into you?"
"You made this really cute noise! I swear!"
"If you say so," I say, crawling on top of her, then touching my nose to hers.. "Hey, Adora."
"Hey Catra," Adora says, blushing lightly. She leans up and kisses me. "What time is it? We need to get ready."
"You're not going anywhere," I say, smirking. "Not until I've had breakfast."
"Breakfast?" Adora asks, frowning. "But we don't have any... Oh," she pauses, then bites her lower lip. "I don't think we have time," she says, reaching for her communicator.
"We'll make time," I growl, batting her hand away with my tail.
--
Some time later, after I've had my fill, we hurry down the west hall.
"Glimmer is gonna kill me," Adora mumbles.
"But it was totally worth it," I say, smirking.
Adora peers at me sideways and blushes. "Yeah. It was."
"Haha-"
My laughter catches in my throat when we walk out of the exit, into the west courtyard. "Wow!" I exclaim, shielding the sun from my eyes and peering up at the giant silver and purple spaceship.
It's hard to recognise the vessel at all, but I'm fairly sure I can see the original parts of Darla higher up, and it's like the entire old ship is basically just the bridge of the new one. The chassis is completely re-built, with silver plating reaching from the tip of the nose near the palace stairs, to the tail of the ship at the other end of the courtyard.
"She's huge," Adora says, taking my hand, and running down the stairs.
"Understatement," I say, as we jog into the shade beneath the gigantic hull. "She's at least four times bigger."
"Oh, there you are!" Glimmer says, waving from the bottom of Darla's ramp. "Finally!"
"Sorry we're late," Adora says, fumbling her hand in the back of her hair. "We were uh..."
Here we go , I think, rolling my eyes. But Adora actually keeps quiet for once, and I raise an eyebrow, wondering what's gotten into her.
Glimmer folds her arms, and frowns. "Cat got your tongue?"
I watch while Adora appears to physically restrain herself from retorting, before deciding to put her out of her misery.
"She got the cat's tongue, actually," I say, twitching my tail, "and I'd say she quite enjoyed it, too."
Glimmer raises an eyebrow, and then bursts into laughter, pointing at Adora's neck. "I can see that!"
"What?!" Adora exclaims, patting her neck, then leaning back and peering into the reflective surface of Darla's shiny exterior. "Catra!"
Payback , I think, watching Adora get flustered. "You weren't complaining at the time, Adora," I say, yawning. "In fact I'm pretty sure you were asking for more."
Adora pouts and stands next to me. "Shall we just give Glimmer all the details? I don't mind, you know."
"Me neither," I say, shrugging. "You'd just tell her everything anyway."
"Urgh, it was cuter when you got flustered," Adora says, her shoulders sagging.
"Aww, did I ruin your little game? I'm sooo sorry."
"Guys," Glimmer says, tapping her foot, "Come on, you have a lot of catching up to do."
--
We follow Glimmer up Darla's ramp, into a large cargo area packed full of crates. Everyone else is already here; Entrapta is with Emily, checking over the labels on a stack of crates. Scorpia is further ahead waving at us excitedly, standing next to Perfuma who smiles and dips her head in greeting, and Bow is sat cross-legged on the floor, biting the tip of his tongue while fiddling with the tip of an arrow.
"Now I feel bad for making everyone wait," Adora says, running her hand across the back of her neck.
"I'm sure they'll forgive us," I say, watching as Melog bounces over from the far side of the room. "Hi buddy," I say, crouching down and butting heads with them. "Miss me?"
"Of course," they say, sniffing around me.
"Yes we did, before you ask."
Melog huffs, and sits next to me, yawning. "I wasn't going to ask."
"Sure you weren't."
Glimmer coughs. "Okay, everyone's finally here," she says, narrowing her eyes at the two of us.
"Everyone?" I ask, looking around. "Where's Hordak?"
"He's decided to stay behind and help Dad with some new projects."
"Plus he wants to stay with his brothers," Entrapta says, hopping into a spot next to me. "I've been observing all of them, and I believe they're actually bonding!" she says, her eyes widening.
"Entrapta," Glimmer says, smiling. "Are you ready to show us around?"
"Yes! Oh boy, you're gonna love this!," she says, bouncing up the next ramp and through the wide doorway. "Follow me!"
--
"This is the mess hall," Entrapta says matter-of-factly, shooing us all into the room. There's an oval, silver table in the center, with ten cushioned stools placed around it, and around the edge of the room are various cupboards, appliances and a sink. "You can eat here. Oh! And look what I made!"
She scuttles over to one of the appliances, a tall, rectangular machine with a few narrow slots in the middle, and a receptacle on the bottom, in which Entrapta sets a plate.
Entrapta places her lips closer to the small slots. "Tiny cupcake."
The machine makes a subtle, electrical whirring noise, there's a soft glow, and two seconds later, a small cake appears on the plate.
"Tadaa!" Entrapa says, holding the frosted treat up. "It's tiny, and delicious!"
I twitch my ears. "You seriously made a tiny cupcake dispenser?"
"Oh no, that would be absurd," Entrapta says, chomping the cake down. She places the plate back into the machine, and puts her mouth near the hollow grooves again. "Tiny tuna sandwiches."
A small pile of teeny, tiny triangle-cut sandwiches appear, and Entraptra holds up her plate, grinning widely. "I've programmed it to understand most etherian recipes. You should try it!"
"Oh, me, me!" Adora says, dashing forwards and shoving a plate in. "Beef burgers."
- Error. Query unrecognised. -
"What? Aww... " Adora says, appearing crestfallen.
"You're doing it wrong," Entrapta says, leaning over. " Tiny beef burgers."
The machine whirrs and pops out three very small morsels onto the plate, which Adora removes and holds to her face, squinting at the burgers.
"Oh, this is so wonderful," Perfuma says, smiling sweetly and clasping her hands together. "But what if we don't want our food to be... well, miniature, as cute as it is?"
"Not tiny?" Entrapta says, scratching a pigtail on her head. "I don't understand, what are you trying to say? Hang on let me get a pen and paper so you can write it down."
"I think she means what about big food, Entrapta," Glimmer says, rolling her eyes and holding her hands apart to show a normal portion size. "You know, something that might actually fill us up?"
"Oh," Entrapta says, wincing. "Well, if you want weird stuff like that there's always a workaround," she says, taking Adora's now-empty plate, and placing it back into the receptacle. "Tiny beef burgers. Tiny beef burgers. Tiny beef burgers."
"I don't believe this," I say, placing a palm on my face. Entrapta hands the plate back to Adora, which is now stacked with over a dozen tiny burgers stacked on top of one another.
"Hey, at least it works?" Scorpia says, beaming. "And there's always ration bars," she says, opening a few of the cupboards. "See?"
"Plus we can cook!" Bow says, finding another cupboard stacked with dehydrated ingredients. "I think we'll be fine."
"Oh we have plenty of that stuff," Entrapta says, shrugging. "The Cargo bay has enough supplies to last us for years."
"Um," I say, frowning, "we're not going out there for that long, are- oh, Hi Melog."
Melog suddenly brushes against my legs, and sits in front of the new machine. "I wonder if it will understand me?" they ask.
"Hah! You should give it a try."
Melog raises his snout. "Tiny steak."
The machine hums to life, and spits out a miniature steak, which Melog jumps up and grabs with their jaw, appearing very pleased.
"Wait, what?!" I say, taken aback. "Entrapta, how did-"
"Oh, the machine understands many languages. It's all part of the clone technology. Isn't it incredible!?"
"Tiny steak," Melog says, catching the next portion in their mouth.
Scorpia takes a small bowl, puts it into the machine, and leans over. "Tiny ice cream sundae. Oh look at that! It actually worked!"
"Anyway," Entrapta says, swooping across to the next machine, "you can get drinks here!"
"Please say it isn't tiny drinks," I say.
"Of course not," she says, grabbing a glass from one of the cupboards. "It'll dispense fizzy drinks. Any flavour you want."
"Tiny Steak," Melog says.
"And water?" Glimmer asks, shaking her head.
"Ummm... Is sparkling okay?" Entrapta asks, smirking. "That was a joke. I've been practising the whole humour thing, did I do okay?"
"Actually, that was almost funny," I say, grinning.
Entrapta beams at me. "Over here we have your boring water dispenser, and here, a hot drinks machine! Tea, coffee, hot chocolate..."
"Tiny Steak."
"Where does it all come from?" Adora asks, her eyes glimmering. "Is it magic?"
"Hahaha! No! It's science !" Entrapta says, before launching into a monologue about dehydrated, compressed nutrient sources and how the machines laser print food or some such. I lose interest, especially at the part about liquid versus gas, and I roam around the kitchen, looking through the cupboards and drawers.
"Tiny Steak."
"Melog!" I scold. They turn to face me, their cheeks engorged as they chew on the contents inside their mouth.
"All this tech is blowing my mind!" Bow says, his eyes wide. "Entrapta, you have to show me how this stuff works, please!"
"I'll consider it, but only if you show me how all those crazy arrows of yours function," Entrapta says. She wraps a pigtail around Bow's shoulder, and they both walk out of the room, engaged in a lengthy, animated conversation about who only knows what.
"I guess the tour's over, then," I say, shrugging.
"Ugh, I've already had a look around, while you two were busy ," Glimmer says. "Come on, I'll show you the rest."
"Oh this is so exciting!" Scorpia says, pressing her pincers together. "I can't believe we're really doing this, this is going to be the best adventure ever !"
"I'm sure it will be, sweetheart," Perfuma says, pecking her on the cheek.
"Tiny Steak."
--
"I've got to say, it's pretty impressive," I say, folding my arms.
Adora and I are sitting in our room on one side of the double bed, looking through a large, domed window which currently faces the west palace walls, while Melog is zonked out on the middle of the mattress, dead to the world after eating approximately six thousand tiny steaks.
"It's a lot more than I expected," Adora says, lightly nudging her shoulder against mine. "What do you think of our room?"
"The bed is comfy," I say, smirking. "That's all that matters."
Our bedroom is quite a bit smaller than the palace room, but I like snug spaces, so I'm okay with it. We have the bare essentials, several secure compartments built into the wall for clothes, drawers beneath the bed for extra storage, and a large mirror embedded into the wall above a long, silver shelf.
"I can't believe how much bigger she is," Adora says, leaning forwards. "I honestly have no idea how they did this."
Darla now has three floors. On the ground floor there's the huge cargo area, which we saw as we walked in. The next floor up has the bridge at the front side of the ship, with the mess hall, medical bay, and bedrooms - six in total - towards the rear. As far as I could tell, the second floor was somewhat bigger than the others.
"I can't wait to try out the observatory," I say, standing from the bed, and walking towards the window. "Although the view from here is gonna be pretty awesome too."
The observatory is on the third floor, facing the front of the ship. It has a huge wide window, stretching from the floor to the ceiling, then halfway across the length of the room. Directly beneath the window there's a dipped section of flooring, with a couple of small ramps leading down into a square area with a sofa all around the edges, and a polished, wooden table in the middle.
"Yeah, it will be," Adora says, moving next to me, and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "I like the rec room, although I'm surprised Entrapta thought of it."
Located opposite the observatory, at the rear of the ship, the recreation area is full of various board and card games stored away in secure compartments, with a short-legged table in the middle, surrounded by beanbags and two three-seater sofas.
"For all we know it was Hordak's idea," I say, grinning at the ridiculousness of the thought. "In either case, it'll be nice having somewhere to kick back and relax between our space adventures."
"Are you nervous?" Adora asks, "about going back out there, I mean."
"A little. I mean, the last trip could have gone better..." I shudder, the memory of Prime's voice suddenly echoing through my mind.
You grieve, sister. I can feel it, swirling around in your chest. You grieve for her, for your Adora, for the loss of what could have been. Your pain runs so deeply that I can practically taste it.
Adora's hand tightens on my shoulder, and I feel her lips on my cheek. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I lie, walking back to the bed, sitting down, and resting my head in my hands. I take a few deep breaths, trying to stop the memories, trying to drown out his voice, still so clear.
Worry not, sister. When you step into the light, she will be but a distant memory. You will finally be free from all of your pain, and all of your suffering.
"Just get it over with," I say, walking down the stairs, into the pit.
I squeeze my eyes closed, feeling nauseous at the sudden realisation that I was never pushed into that damn pit of his. No , I think. I went in there willingly, just like he knew I would .
Melog shifts upon the bed, and moves next to me, resting their snout on my thigh. Then I feel the bed dip as Adora sits next to me. She says nothing, just rests a hand on my other thigh, and waits. Having them both so close like this soon helps me to ground myself, and a few deep breaths later I open my eyes and raise my head, blinking a few times.
"Want to talk about it?" Adora asks.
"It's nothing," I say, turning to face her, and noticing she appears concerned. "Okay, it's something but I... I think I'll talk to Perfuma first, if that's okay?"
"Okay," Adora says, frowning slightly. "But you'd tell me if it was something I'd done?"
I chuckle while I raise a hand and swiftly tug her hair tie out, releasing those lovely shoulder-length locks from their unfortunate prison. "Tying this up is the only thing you keep doing wrong," I say, running my fingers through her soft hair.
She smiles softly. "So, what do you think of the new bridge?" she asks, and I'm grateful for the distraction.
"Well, It's good that we can all actually sit down now," I say, turning to Melog and ruffling their mane. "Plus it seems you have lots of new toys to play with."
"So many new buttons," Adora says, grinning and holding her hands out, wiggling her fingers. "I can't wait to fly her."
"Please don't press the buttons, Adora. Or at least find out what they do, first."
"Aww but..."
Suddenly there's a loud crackle, followed by Entrapta's voice coming from a speaker in the corner of the room that I hadn't noticed until now.
"Hello! I forgot to show you the communications devices! Each room has one, just look over in the corner, on the wall."
Adora runs over to the device, a small round pad with a single button and a few slotted grooves, and lifts it from the receptacle it's slotted into. "Testing, testing, one two three," she says, standing bolt upright and deepening her voice. "This is your captain speaking. All hands on deck. Roger roger. Over and out."
"Hello, captain Adora! Engineering here," Bow says, laughing. "The ship appears to be in tip top condition."
"Oh this is so much fun!" Scorpia says, "Don't you think so, beautiful? Oh, you want a turn?"
"Hello everyone," Perfuma says. "Greetings from room number four."
Glimmer coughs. "Okay, now that everyone's familiar with Darla 2.0, we'd better get ready for launch."
"Eight pm!" Bow says, "I can't wait!"
I swipe the microphone from Adora, pricking my ears up. "Wait, we're going today!?"
"Yup," Glimmer says. "If you'd been present at the meeting you could have raised any concerns."
I pass the microphone back to Adora, "Crap, we need to get ready!"
"Okay, we'll see you at the launch, over and out," Adora says, putting the microphone down, and grabbing onto my shoulders, shaking them. "Ooh, this is so exciting!"
"Is it okay to just... go?" I ask, scratching the fur under my ear. "Don't people have stuff to do?"
"Not everyone's a disorganised mess like we are, you know."
"Guess we have been a little distracted lately," I say, smirking.
Melog huffs. "An interesting choice of words."
"Ugh, come on," I say, grabbing Adora's arm, "we have to get all our stuff!"
--
After packing everything up, pausing to grab a bite to eat, then moving and unpacking seven boxes packed with clothes and other stuff that I'm fairly sure we won't need, we're finally ready.
"Made it with ten minutes to spare!" Adora beams, shifting from She Ra's white and gold garb back to her usual uniform.
"Remind me why we needed to pack almost your entire bedroom," I groan, my shoulders feeling stiff.
Melog trots alongside, appearing amused. "She even brought four extra pillows."
"Yes. I know."
"Hmm?" Adora tilts her head, peering down at Melog. "Hey, I did most of the lifting, I don't know why you two are complaining."
"How do you know they're compla- you know what, never mind," I say, suspecting more than ever that Adora secretly understands Melog. "We'd better get a move on, everyone's probably waiting in the bridge."
"Well it's not like they can go anywhere," Adora says, pressing a thumb proudly to her chest, "not without their captain!"
"We are not calling you that."
"Spoilsport."
--
"Okay, so... ideas?" Adora asks, looking at the star map that's projected in front of us from Darla's dashboard.
"First things first, we should stock up on thulite," Entrapta says, pointing her pigtail to a specific point on the map, which rapidly zooms in until a planet is rotating around in the middle of the display. "This planet has plenty, and unlike the last one, it isn't falling apart!"
"Are you sure?" Glimmer asks, narrowing her eyes.
"Yes, all of this new technology is amazing," Bow says, pressing a few buttons on the dashboard until some charts pop up. "Look at these readings! There's a breathable atmosphere, meaning there's probably life."
"Ooh, so there'll be plants?" Perfuma asks, clapping her hands excitedly.
"Most certainly!" Entrapta says, "or at least, according to our short range scans. And perhaps even creatures of some kind," she continues, raising her hand and swiping the display left, until we see numerous pictures of the planet's surface. "Although, no signs of sentient life."
"Amazing," Scorpia says, peering up, her eyes glistening. "How can you tell?"
"I'm guessing because there are no buildings," I say, shrugging.
"Yes, the planet appears completely untouched," Entrapta says, turning to Adora. "So, Captain, what do you think?"
"Please don't call her that," I say, placing my palm over my face. "Like her head isn't big enough."
Adora chuckles and sits in the large chair in the center of the room. "I think it sounds like the start of an adventure. But, um... how do I work this thing?"
"Everyone should get strapped in!" Entrapta says, swinging across to a chair on the left side of the bridge, just in front of the main dashboard. She taps a few buttons on the panel.
- Coordinates are set. Please initiate lift off procedure.
Bow and Glimmer take the two seats behind Entrapta, while Scorpia and Perfuma hurry across to similarly paired seats on the opposite side of the bridge. I choose one of the two chairs next to Adora's, so that I'm sitting within arms reach of her.
"What about Melog?" I ask.
"There's four chairs left," Entrapta says, beaming. "Or they can sit on your lap."
"Come on then, buddy," I say, patting my leg. They jump up and I wrap my arms around them.
Entrapta turns to face Adora, grinning. "Over to you, captain! Just put your hand on the panel there."
- Pulse cannon activated. Please select a target.
"No not that one. The other one."
"We have a canon?" Bow asks, his eyes glistening.
"Here's hoping we never have to use it," I grumble.
"Aha, got it," Adora says.
- Administrator detected. How may I be of assistance?
"Uh, hi Darla," Adora says, grinning. "Can we lift off, please?"
- Acknowledged.
I feel my weight press into the bottom of the chair as soon as Darla leaves the ground, though it's far smoother than I expected. I wouldn't even know we were airborne if not for the view outside of the window, where I can see the ground hurtling away.
"Darla, take us to the... uh, coordinates."
- Acknowledged. Heading to target coordinates, estimated time of arrival is-
"Ooh!" Entrapta says, "Darla, tell us a joke!"
- Joke request acknowledged...
- Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.
"Haha! Clever girl," Entrapta says, patting the top of Darla's dashboard.
"You made it tell jokes?" Scorpia says, widening her eyes, "That's fantastic! Darla, tell another one."
- Joke request acknowledged...
- Why should you never eat a clock? Because it is too time consuming.
"Pfft that's terrible," I say, chuckling. "Entrapta, what have you done to our poor ship."
"Oh it's one of her many new amazing features," Entrapta says, lidding her eyes. "Darla and I have been very, very busy."
Adora runs her a palm down her face. "I'm not sure I want to ask, but what other features are we talking about here?"
"Oh, too many to say. I'll tell you when we need them."
"What? But-"
"It will be fine, commander Adora," Entrapta says, saluting with her pigtail. "Darla is in better shape than ever!"
"Riiight," Adora says, shaking her head. "Darla, what's our ETA?"
- Eleven hours.
"Why don't we just warp?" I ask, twitching my ears.
"Actually, I think it'd be better to test basic ship functions first," Bow says. "And it's getting late anyway, we all need to sleep, right?"
"Wait, what do you mean test?" I ask, batting my tail around. "Haven't you already tested the ship? Glimmer?"
"Uhhh..."
"We're testing it right now!" Entrapta says, beaming from ear to ear. "And she's doing fine, aren't you Darla?"
- Personal enquiry detected...
- Yes. I am fine. There are currently no hull breaches, which is good, otherwise you would all be dead.
"See! We're perfectly safe."
"Okay, I'm having regrets," I say, leaning over in my chair to look at everyone, folding my ears down. "Is anyone else having regrets?"
"I'm sure we'll all be absolutely fine," Perfuma says, resting her hand above Scorpia's pincer, "so long as we have each other."
"Yeah I don't think the power of love will help us much in the cold vacuum of space ," I say, pointing out of the hull window to the starry skies just above the wide curve of etheria's surface.
"Hey, you have me," Adora says, stretching over and resting her hand on my forearm. "And She Ra has some kind of magical breathing barrier thing, who knew?"
"You mean you went out into space before without actually knowing this?"
"Well... it's She Ra. So I figured it'd be okay."
"Remind me again how you all aren't dead by now," I say, shaking my head.
Melog huffs. "I cannot work out whether you are excited or afraid."
- Exiting planet atmosphere. Please fasten your safety harnesses.
"Both. Hold on tight," I say, wrapping my arms around them. Please don't blow up , I think, gritting my teeth. Melog whines and pushes their head into my chest, and Adora turns to grin at me manically. How can she not be scared?! I think.
- Coordinates locked. Engaging thrusters.
Entrapta gasps. "Oh I almost forgot! I upgraded the-"
"Argh!" I feel myself shoved backwards into the chair, watching as the view of the planet's surface falls lower and lower until it dips out of view altogether, and over the sound of the roaring engines and everyone else's screams I hear Adora, giggling. "Adora! This isn't funny!"
- Maximum velocity reached. Cutting thrusters. Thank you for flying air-Darla.
All of a sudden the feeling of being pushed back subsides, and Melog hops off from my lap, shaking their fur.
"That wasn't so bad," they say, tilting their head to one side.
"Yeah, I guess," I say, standing up and walking towards the window. "Woah, how fast are we going?" I ask, watching the stars fly by.
Entrapta leaps into a spot next to me. "About six times faster than before! Just wait until we try the warp drive, haha! We're going to fold space !"
"Yay!" Adora says, clapping her hands. "Warp drive! Folding space! Ooh I wonder if it's like origami?"
"Seriously," I say, trying but failing to hide my smile. "Are you drunk?"
"I think our captain is just a little over-excited," Glimmer says, chuckling.
I peer around at the view outside, finding nothing but blackness, stars, and the moons of etheria which we'll shortly pass by at this rate.
"Let's go to the observatory!" Scorpia says, unclipping her harness and standing up.
"What a wonderful idea," Perfuma says, wrapping her arms around Scorpia's thick claw. "I can't wait to see it!"
"Let's all go!" Bow says, taking Glimmer's hand. "Come on guys, this is the start of our big adventure!"
"The view should be phenomenal ," Entrapta says, bounding after them through the doorway.
"Hey, wait for me!" I exclaim, twitching my left ear. I peer at Adora, who's still sat in her big dumb chair, wide-eyed with excitement. "Are you coming?"
"No," she says, lidding her eyes. "I'm just very, very excited."
Melog snorts out a puff of air. "That was a good one."
"Haha, you idiot," I say, holding out my hand. "Come on."
--
"Woah," Scorpia says, her eyes wide open as she stares out into space. "This is amazing!"
"It's absolutely breathtaking," Perfuma says, casting her gaze around, "there must be so many wonderful things out there..."
"They might not all be so wonderful," I say, walking towards the front side of the room, and pressing my palm to the glass. "We don't know how many planets Prime destroyed."
"Maybe we can fix them," Adora says, standing next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Even if we can, it won't bring back the dead."
Adora appears crestfallen. "Oh. Of course not."
"Let's concentrate on our calming, happy thoughts," Perfuma says, pressing her hands together. "I'm sure there are plenty of planets that are thriving out there, just waiting for us to discover them."
"Actually, there are!" Entrapta says, beaming. "And lots of planets with first ones tech, too!"
"Speaking of which, the long range scans have picked up a planet with a really unique energy signal," Bow says, furrowing his brow. "Along with lots of life signs. It might be worth a look."
"We'll go there after we get the thulite, then," Glimmer says, grinning. "This is so exciting!"
"So everyone keeps saying," I mumble, watching as the last of etheria's moons moves across the window, until it's out of view.
"Are you okay?" Adora asks, nudging her shoulder against mine.
"Yeah," I say, forcing myself to smile despite the uneasy feeling gnawing at me.
--
A few hours later, after snacking on several plates of tiny food while theorising what kind of creatures we'll find on our first planet, everyone's resting on the large sofa in the descended area within the observatory floor. Scorpia is snoozing against Perfuma's shoulder, with Perfuma slowly stroking her white strands of hair, and Bow and Glimmer appear to be drifting off, with Bow resting his head on her lap.
The only person who's still wide awake is Entrapta, who's busy tapping away at her data pad, sticking her tongue out, clearly busy with something.
Adora's thumb starts to trail lazy circles into my palm, and I turn to look at her, finding a gentle sleepy expression.
"Darla, what time is it?" I ask.
- It is time you got a watch.
"Seriously?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at Entrapta, who beams with pride.
- Ha. ha. Ha. That was a joke. It is half past ten.
Bow yawns. "An early night isn't the worst idea. We should all get some rest."
"It's a big day tomorrow after all!" Glimmer says.
I look across at Perfuma, swallowing thickly. "Got time for a chat first?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing," she says, smiling. "I'll be with you soon, sweetheart," she says to Scorpia, who nods with a wide smile before standing up.
"Take as long as you need," Adora says, pecking me on the forehead. "I'll warm up the bed."
Melog walks across the sofa and flops down next to me, yawning before resting their snout on my thigh. We watch as everyone else leaves the room, until it's just we three, and the stars above.
"Beats meeting in the middle of a bush, right?" I ask, grinning.
"Oh absolutely," Perfuma says, shifting herself closer to me on the seat, one corner of her lips raising, "Although a little bit of bush never hurt anyone."
"Perfuma... haha... did you just-" I begin, raising an eyebrow. Perfuma's expression remains neutral. "Never mind."
"There is no way that wasn't innuendo," Melog says, peering up at me. I shrug, feeling unsure either way.
"So... do you like it?" Perfuma asks, peering upwards through the massive overhead window. "Space, I mean?"
"Yeah. I don't know why," I say, twitching my left ear. "It's just really... pretty."
"Yes. It is beautiful."
"Hey," I say, a sudden thought coming to mind. "How was this gonna work if you didn't come with us?"
"Long range communication" Perfuma says, beaming. "I actually had everything ready, just in case. But this is so much better."
"Hmm, yeah. It is."
"So," Perfuma says, resting her hands on her lap, "how have you been feeling?"
"Fine."
Melog huffs and raises their head, glaring accusingly. "You were not fine earlier."
Perfuma looks at Melog, then back at me. "Is there something you'd like to discuss?"
I frown, feeling conflicted.
"You should tell her," Melog says. "She can be trusted."
"This really goes no further?"
Perfuma shakes her head. "Of course not."
"Well..."
I tell Perfuma about my latest revelation, about how I basically just gave up on Prime's ship, and more or less let him turn me, in the end. I'm surprised to feel some of the weight lift while I spill out the words, with Perfuma nodding between each sentence, and listening attentively the whole time.
"I haven't told anyone else," I say, sighing. "In fact I didn't even tell myself it until earlier, technically."
"After traumatic events, our minds can play tricks on us. It's a defense mechanism, in your case your mind probably thought that anger would be easier to process."
"Sounds about right."
"But all along, it was despair. To feel that way must have been absolutely terrible," Perfuma says, the edges of her brows lowering. "All hope gone, and nowhere left to turn. You surely don't blame yourself for your actions?"
"I don't know. I could have fought harder. I just... hate that I let him win," I say, gritting my teeth. "I hate it."
"Yet he is gone, and you survived."
I bite back tears and nod, stroking Melog's mane. "Thanks to Adora."
"How does it make you feel, knowing that she did come for you in the end?"
"Mainly confused. I just... I don't understand why she did it."
"Because she loves you, of course."
I sigh, folding my ears down. "Right."
Perfuma stays silent, as though waiting for me to continue.
"I don't get it. After everything I've..." I pause, squeezing my eyes closed, trying to ignore the memories that flicker through my mind, one terrible act after another, and my hand, tightly gripping that lever. "I keep thinking that I don't deserve this. I don't deserve her."
"I see," Perfuma says. She places a hand on my shoulder, and I open my eyes. "What if I told you that love isn't earned? That it isn't a prize or a reward?"
I tilt my head. "Huh?"
"A person either loves you, or they don't," Perfuma says, withdrawing her hand and shrugging. "Just like you either love them, or you don't. Did you at any point feel Adora would have to do something to deserve your love?"
"Of course not."
"And you feel happy, knowing that she loves you back?"
I nod.
"Have you ever stopped to think it's that simple? And that all of this is exactly the same for her?"
"So," I begin, frowning. "She's probably just... happy that I love her?"
"Yes!" Perfuma says, clapping her hands together once. "Just as you are grateful for her love, she is grateful for yours. And gratitude is such a wonderful, healthy emotion!" Perfuma says, reaching into her bag then leaning forwards and thrusting a notebook and pen into my arms. "Let's explore this!"
"Um... ok?"
"Write down something you feel grateful for," Perfuma says, smiling. "Oh, and try to add detail. So..." she says, looking up, into the stars above. "Instead of, I'm grateful for the stars.... try, I'm grateful for the beauty of space, the stars, the moons, and all of the wonders it holds."
"Hmm," I frown down at the notebook, opening the first, blank page. "Why am I doing this again?"
"Consider it to be a new form of training," Perfuma says, tapping the side of her forehead. "Just try it! Once a day, for a week. Write three things."
"Three?!" I exclaim, scowling. "Ugh. This is stupid."
"I assure you it isn't. But if it's too hard, then I understand."
"I never said it was hard," I pout, starting to scribble Adora, and how much she loves me, even after everything I've done .
"May I see?"
"I guess," I say, handing the book back.
"It's a good start, but," Perfuma says, frowning.
"What!" I exclaim, "I did what you asked!"
Perfuma passes the book back. "I want you to cross out the last part, please."
"Uh.."
"Even after everything you've done?" Perfuma says, looking at me expectantly.
"Ugh, fine," I say, drawing a thick line through the words.
"Now read it out."
I growl and roll my eyes. "Adora, and how much she loves me."
"See? Doesn't that sound nice?"
"Oh. Yeah... I suppose it does," I say, my heart warming as I re-read the line in my head a few times.
"Good," Perfuma says, smiling brightly. "Let's practise this a bit more..."
--
Sometime later I head to the kitchen to get a drink before bed, smiling widely when I find Adora there.
"Hey, how was it?" she asks, peering at me over the rim of her glass.
"Interesting, but tiring," I say, yawning. "What's that?"
"Fizzy lemonade. Want some?"
"Nah," I say, putting a cup under the drinks machine and pressing a combination of buttons that eventually leads to fizzy orange. "How come you aren't in bed?"
"Couldn't sleep," she says, sipping at her drink. "I was worried about you."
"I'm okay, I promise," I say, gulping down my drink. "In fact, I'll tell you all about it."
Adora's lips curl into a soft smile. "You don't have to if you don't want to."
I kiss her cheek. "I do. Come on, let's go to bed."
We head outside of the mess hall and veer right, walking towards our room at the very end of the corridor. Adora nudges my shoulder and tips her head towards the book in the crook of my arm. "What's that?"
"Oh, yeah. I have to do homework now apparently."
Adora presses the little button to the side of our door, which slides open with a quiet woosh . "Seriously? Homework?"
"Yeah, tell me about it," I say, rolling my eyes as we walk inside. "But, it might help. So we'll see."
Melog yawns and butts their head against my leg. "May I rest here tonight?"
I ruffle their fur. "Sure, just don't take up the whole bed."
--
A few minutes later, after we've freshened up and changed into our nightwear, we both sit on the side of the bed that faces the window, staring out at the stars. Melog settles down at my side, resting their head against my thigh.
"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "Are you sure you want to hear all this? It isn't pretty."
"Of course," Adora says, putting an arm around my shoulders. "So long as you're sure, I mean."
And so, I talk. I tell Adora everything about Prime's abuse, starting with the forced haircut, where the clones held me down so tightly that I couldn't move, not even an inch, and there were so many of them, their fingers pressing into me, digging, bruising.
"Get off of me!"
Then I talk about the surgery, where Prime somehow kept me conscious despite my body being limp. How he made sure I felt everything; the deep, slow incisions behind my neck, cutting my skin open. The searing, stabbing pain of the implant, digging itself into my nerves. The tube down my throat, harsh and rough, forcing air into my lungs despite me wishing for it to stop.
I tell her how through it all I wanted to scream, wanted to gag, wanted to rip the tube out, but my body wouldn't let me.
Then I pause, closing my eyes, feeling my whole body tremble at the memory.
"Catra," Adora says, rubbing her hand down my back. "It's okay to stop."
"No. Let me finish."
I talk about how just afterwards, when my body was still weak from the ordeal, when I couldn't even fight back, Prime hovered over me with malice clear in his eyes. How he laughed as he thrust a spiked tendril into the newly implanted chip, forcing himself into my mind, into my memories, into my heart.
"Don't! Stop it!!"
Lastly, I tell Adora how I gave up. How his voice, spoken directly into my mind, convinced me that forgetting everything, even her, would be so much easier.
"Just get it over with."
I admit to her that I'd stopped fighting altogether, not even caring when I felt sure the pain in the pit would finish me off.
"Adora... I'm so, so sorry for wanting to forget you," I say, studying her face closely. "But I also wanted to forget everything he'd done to me."
Adora's gaze remains focused on the view outside of the window, her eyes wider than usual, and I notice that she now has both her hands tightly gripped on her own knees. I finally told her , I think, wondering what she's thinking. Her brows furrow, and I worry that I've upset her.
"Adora?"
She blinks a few times, then turns to face me.
"Are you upset?" I ask, whipping my tail onto the mattress nervously.
She quickly shakes her head. "I'm glad you told me. I always wondered if you would."
I shrug. "Perfuma said it'll help if I share stuff so... I'm sharing. But only with you."
Tears form at Adora's cheeks, and I notice her jaw is clenched. "Is it wrong that I want him to be alive, just so that I can kill him all over again?" she asks, her knuckles turning white. "But this time, make him suffer? As in really, really suffer?"
"Adora..." I say, placing one of my hands over hers. "Don't say things like that. It isn't like you."
"He forced himself on you."
I feel the hairs rise on my neck, and down my back. "Yeah, well. He's gone. Good riddance, like I said."
Tears stream down Adora's face. "You shouldn't have had to go through any of that... I should have come sooner. I'm so, so sorry."
"No. Don't you dare blame yourself," I say, reaching a hand up, brushing my thumb across her damp cheek.
"But..."
"I said no, Adora. I won't have it. You got there as quickly as you could, and thank goodness you did," I say, replacing my thumb with my lips, gently kissing her cheek. "You're my hero, okay? So shut up."
Adora snorts out a laugh. "I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"And you never will again," I say, smirking. "In fact, did I say it at all? You have no proof."
Melog snorts loudly, and flops their jaw onto my thigh, peering upwards. "I heard it."
"Doesn't count, and you can't tell anyone."
"Is Melog saying they heard?" Adora asks, grinning.
"It's freaky how many times you guess what they're saying," I say, laughing.
"Hey, Melog," Adora says, leaning over, "Can you write in etherian? Want me to teach you?"
"Wait, I don't like where this is going..."
"What a good idea," Melog says, moving across to Adora's side, and nuzzling against her hand. "Tell her I accept."
"I'll do no such thing, you can tell her yourself. Oh wait, you can't. Too bad."
"They said yes, didn't they," Adora says, appearing smug when Melog headbutts her hand. "This is going to be fun, isn't it Melog? We just need to find a nice pen you can hold between your toes."
"Okay, I'm way too tired for this shit," I say, standing up and stretching out. "Off the bed, now. Both of you."
They oblige, and I dive under the covers, groaning quietly at the comfort of the thick mattress after such a long, hard day.
Adora moves around the other side of the bed and climbs in behind me, wrapping her arms around me protectively, cocooning me in her warm embrace. "I love you," she mumbles, her lips warming the flesh at the top of my spine, "and I'll never let anyone hurt you, ever again."
"I can look after myself, you know," I purr, stroking my nails across her forearms.
"I know," Adora says, nuzzling herself closer, until there's barely any space between us.
"And I won't let anyone hurt you, either."
Melog hops onto the foot of the bed, settling down right in front of my shins.
"Yeah," Adora chuckles. "I kind of feel sorry for anyone that tries."
"mmhmm," I mumble sleepily. "I'd totally... fuck them up."
"I know. You're my hero, too, by the way."
"Shh, I never said that," I yawn, my eyelids growing heavy as I watch the stars, silently drifting by outside of the window, and listen to the soft, ambient hum of Darla's engines.
"Night, my beautiful, amazing stargazer..."
"Night, my love," I whisper, feeling blissfully at peace.