A/N I know it's not Friday, but I have to help out at my school's Christmas Fair tomorrow, and so I won't be able to update tomorrow night. I have quite a few more chapters left on this story, but when I have completed 'Dirty Little Whore' I will begin writing my Larry one :) anyway, vote/fan/comment what you think!
LOUIS' POV
It had been three days. Three days since mine and Rachel's meal. Three days since I saw that gleaming smile, and eyes full of life. Three days since I discovered the truth. When we first arrived, the dooctor's immediately began the chemo therapy again, shaving all of her hair off. I knew she was going to hate it the second she saw it in the mirror, but I didn't care. She was still the same beautiful girl I fell in love with weeks ago.
I hadn't left Rachel's bedside since she arrived. The others had taken it in turns to look after me after her dad had to leave to go back to work. Everyday, I would sit beside Rachel, holding her hand, telling her I loved her and kissing her on the forehead. I would sing to her every morning and evening, she always send how my singing put her at peace, and I hoped that was true even now.
I pulled my phone out to check twitter. By now, everyone knew about my relationship with Rachel, so Rouis had been trending twitter for days, as well as 'get well soon' messages added onto the end. The press had leaked out that Rachel had fitted, and had asked us to do an interview to confirm what was in fact going on. That day was today. I told Simon I wasn't leaving Rachel's side until she woke up from her coma, they all knew I was just going to carry on sitting here, with Rachel, and sing to her. That's all I did for days.
So the boys would have to do it without me. Liam asked for my permission as to whether or not they could tell the truth or just make up some cover story. I let him know I was okay with him telling the truth, just no details.
"now, are you sure you're okay?" I rolled my eyes at Harry, he had been the one who was most concerned about me.
"for the last time, YES! Now go, you'll be late for the interview, I'll be fine on my own with Rachel for a few hours"
"okay boobear, just don't do anything I wouldn't do"
"so I can-"
"don't start Lou" I laughed as he went to give me a hug before kissing Rachel on the cheek
"and you promise to text us if she wakes up?"
"yes Emily, now go, it's your first ever interview as Niall's girlfriend, you don't want to miss it do you?"
"not particularly" she nuzzled into Niall's shoulder as he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder
"bye Lou"
"bye guys, have fun!" I waited for them to turn the corner before I went and sat down again.
I examined Rachel's peaceful face as she slept. The way her chest went up and down slowly as she breathed, her mouth opening and closing with every breath. Her eyes fluttered as she continued in her deep slumber. I took her hand back in mine, sitting down beside her again.
I kissed her forehead lightly, whispering I love you into her ear, in a hope she could hear it while she was sleeping. I sat there for a few minutes, just thinking of what I was going to do to make the last few weeks of her life as enjoyable as possible. Because of the chemo which was started again a few days ago, Rachel has at least another couple weeks. It was amazing news, but the fact that she would soon die only made it worse. I didn't want her to be in pain by her staying with me for longer. I feel so selfish for putting her through this so that I can have her for a little while longer.
Around about now was usually when I sang to Rachel. I'd decided I was going to sing 'Your Song' to her, like we did on X factor 2 years ago. Rachel told me it was one of her favourite performances that we ever did, and she'd been begging me to sing it to her for weeks, but I'd always refused. I hoped me singing it to her today would wake her up, which was what we all desperately wanted. She had one more day to wake up because there was nothing more they could do for her. If she still hadn't woken up by then, they would turn her life support off. Your Song was my last hope in my mind.
It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
I looked back at Rachel and saw that she was awake. Her eyes were looking directly into mine, the grey shining through the tears appearing in her eyes. "don't stop" she whispered, running circles into the back of my hand, so I obliged and continued to sing
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I practically through myself at Rachel, kissing her passionately. We stayed like this for several minutes before we parted "you're awake..."
"I guess I am!"
"haha, you get more beautiful every time I see you..."
"oh my god Lou! How cheesy!"
"hey, I've been practicing for days!" I sat down next to Rachel why she shuffle over so I could sit down beside her
"ow" she muttered under her breath
"ah, sorry Rachel"
"haha it's fine...I guess you know now then?" she turned to face me, tears streaming down her face
"yeah, I do...why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want you to look at me differently, I wanted you to love me for me, not just because I'm dying. I was going to tell you, honest, but then my mum showed up and there wasn't a right time..."
"so? I would never not love you because of your illness! And I hate to think you feel like you can't tell me anything just because I'm busy. I'll always be here if you ever need to talk, you need to know that, okay?"
"okay..." she lightly kissed me on the lips before snuggling into my shoulder, cuddling me under the sheets.
"so why did you stop the treatment?"
"oh, I, um-"
"it was because of me, wasn't it?"
"sort of...Dr McKenzie told me that if I continued with the treatment, I would lose my hair, and you still didn't know! You would think I was disgusting, an alien or whatever. You would call me ugly..."
"I would never do that Rachel! I think you're gorgeous, hair or no hair, you're perfect."
"but Louis-"
"no but's, besides, you don't really have much choice in the matter anymore..."
"what do you mean?" she seemed genuinely confused at what I said. I thought you could tell if you had hair or not? I'll never understand... "Lou, what are you talking about?"
I took the mirror off the side table, holding it against my chest "before I show you, just remember that I think you are absolutely stunning-"
"just give me the fucking mirror Louis!" I handed the mirror over and watched as she began to sob. I pulled her into my chest, allowing her to sob into my chest
"I-I'm u-ugly!"
"don't you dare say that! You're just as beautiful without hair than you are with hair! I still love you..."
"you don't have to say that Louis, you don't have to lie. I don't mind if you find me completely repulsive, and I understand if you don't want anyone to see me anymore, I understand if you want to leave-"
"now why would I want to do that?"
"because I'm not what everyone wants to see. Everyone wants to see you with someone stunning like Eleanor, not a dying cancer patient-"
I smashed my lips to hers, stopping anymore words from escaping her mouth. When we parted, I took her face between my hands, resting my forehead against hers. "I don't care what anyone thinks Rachel, I love you. In fact.." I lent across and grabbed my pone, switching it to camera.
"what are you doing Lou?"
"showing you how much I don't care what people say, now smile!" I snapped the photo before taking my phone into my hands and typing frantically
"Lou, what are you-"
"shh!"
"don't sh me bitch!" she said, playfully slapping my shoulder
"done!" I set my phone down smugly before snuggling back into Rachel
"what did you-" Rachel's phone began buzzing. She picked it up and looked at the twitter notification.
the picture we just took appeared on her phone along with '@Louis_Tomlinson with my gorgeous girlfriend @RachelSmithx; she thinks she's ugly and that you all won't love her anymore, but idc, I love her to pieces. You're gorgeous Rachel!'
"omg, Louis!" she flung her arms around my neck, kissing my jaw, all the way up to my lips
"woah, guys, get a room! Louis! You were supposed to ring if she woke up!" Zayn whined as he walked in, later followed by the others.
"sorry guys, I didn't have much time-"
"RACHEL!" Niall screamed as he ran across the room, pulling her into a massive bear hug
"woah, hey Nialler!" Niall soon let go, grabbing a chair next to Harry and Liam. He pulled Emily atop of him so that Zayn and Perrie could sit down as well.
"ah, so I see you've woken up, Rachel! How are you?" Dr Mckenzie asked, walking into the room
"fine thanks, just a bit tired-"
"well that's to be expected! Maybe you should take a short sleep? Get some rest? I'll come back on check on you in a few hours"
"okay"
"I'll see you later, goodbye everyone"
"bye!" they all screeched in sync.
"so when's your next concert? And don't try and get out of it Louis, Rachel's awake now, so you have no excuse!" Perrie said, winking at me
"well-"
"you stopped working?"
"well, yeah, I wasn;t leaving you"
"oh my God, Louis! You didn't have to do that!"
"well, I wanted too"
"you're so sweet" she said, pulling me into another kiss
"ew, boobear, are you cheating on me?!"
"yes I am Haz, and I don't care" I mumbled into the kiss. Harry began fake crying into Liam's shoulder.
"oh, grow a pair Harry!" Zayn said, erupting the whole room into laughter.
"right, come on Rachel, go to sleep, you need your rest"
"ugh, fine!" I made sure Rachel was comfortable before she quickly fell into another deep slumber...
THE NEXT DAY
RACHEL'S POV
I woke up to find myself lying in my room, alone. Louis had gone, and so had the others. I picked up my phone and saw that people were constantly tweeting about going to see the boys tonight. Of course. Their concert
"hey! You're awake!" Emily and Perrie chorused as they walked into my room
"yeah I am, I was just wondering when I get to leave..."
"oh, well I can put your mind at rest, my dear Rachel, because it's today!" Emily said
"now, come on, get dressed, we have an appointment with some front row tickets to One Direction!"
"seriously?! Again! Not that I'm complaining, because, OH MY GOD!"
"okay, calm down Rachel" Perrie said, winking at me. She passed me a box with a label on it. 'I wasn't sure whether or not you would want to use this, but I wanted to give you the option, personally, I don't think you need it, Lou xxx'
I opened the box to find a head scarf. I picked it up and looked at the purple scarf before putting it back inside "I don't want it. I don't want to let Louis down. If he likes me without one on, then I won't wear on"
"good on you, Rach! Now come on, we've got to get you ready!"
2 HOURS LATER
we were finally at the concert, front row once again, waiting for the boys to walk on. I fiddled with the edge of my top as I stood in my black wedges, blue jeans and plain top.
"you look gorgeous, Rachel" Perrie whispered into my ear. But I couldn't help but feel self conscious at the fact that people were staring at me.
then the lights dimmed, and the beggining of 'what makes you beautiful' began playing. As Louis was singing, he looked directly at me, singing right to me.
"HELLO LONDON! HOW ARE WE TONIGHT?!" Louis yelled throughout the arena. Screams were thrown back as a reply. "next up, we're going to sing 'little things', but I wanted to dedicate this to someone special. You may recognise this photo.." I followed Louis' gaze up to the screen behind him where our photo from the day before was showing. My mouth immediately dropped at the sight "this is my gorgeous girlfriend Rachel, she recently lost her hair due to her treatment for her brain tumor, and she believes she us disgusting and ugly. But, honestly, she's perfect to me, and I wouldn't change her for the world..." I could feel tears filling my eyes as he looked down at me before blowing a kiss at me and mouthing 'I love you' to me. I mouthed it back as the beginning of little things began playing.
your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me,
but bear this in mind, it was, meant to be
and I'm joining up the dots, with the freckles on your cheeks
and it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved, the crinkles by your eyes
when you smile, you've never loved, your stomach or your thighs
the dimples in your back, at the bottom of your spine
but I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things, slip, out of my mouth
but if I do, it's you, it's you, they add up to,
I'm in love with you, and all these little things
as it got to Louis' solo, I could feel the darkness taking over me again. Not now, not at Louis' solo.
you can't go to bed, without a cup of tea
and maybe that's the reason why you talk, in your sleep
I couldn't do this to him again, but I couldn't fight it anymore...
and all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
then I was on the floor...
I could fee my body begin to shake. I wasn't just fainting, I was fitting again.
"RACHEL!" I heard Louis scream, jumping off the stage to be by my side
"Louis, you need to get back on stage-"
"shut the fuck up and help her!" I heard someone on the phone to an ambulance, while Louis tried to hold my head still.
"I love you, and I always will..." then I was gone once more...