"I can't believe I'm not going to be living here anymore."
Meredith, my roommate and good friend, hands me another box.
"I know, I can't believe it either. And I also can't believe we're graduating." She gushed and I laughed. You're not gonna cry Em, you're not gonna cry.
"I know, these four years went by so fast." She helped me put my collection of Debate trophies, Sudoku tournament certificates and photos from the semester in Sweden, tennis club, reading club, and Environment club into another box.
Yeah, I tried to make the most out of the four years here at Stanford. I loved college so much, all these experiences were amazing. I got to make a difference and actually help people, actually do something. People knew me and befriended me because of similar interests, Because they liked me, not because I was in the tabloids for some months. Not because of my association with Zach Taylor, although that dialed down soon after the annulment, much to both of our reliefs. A broken up arranged marriage isn't shocking enough to put on a magazine.
I really have no reason to complain, I'm really lucky to have had all of this, to still have Zach, but I wish it wouldn't end. I almost wish I wasn't graduating, but then I laugh at how silly that sounds.
"They did. I'm more afraid of going back home though. I spent so much time trying to get out of that little town, only to go back? I don't know." She put her head in her hands to try to calm down. She's been doing that a lot lately, must be anxiety.
But she has a point.
"You don't have to go back, you know." I said while sitting down next to her.
"That was the deal I made with my parents, remember? As soon as I graduate I have to move back. It was the only way they would let me come here." She slumped.
"Well, you're 22, they really can't keep you there for long. They just miss you, that's all." I reasoned.
"I guess you of all people know it's not impossible to break away and follow your dreams." I looked down at my hands.
"Yeah." She's referring to the whole fight that started, or rather ended, it all. The certain fight that led me here with a marriage annulment. And although these vivid memories do surface frequently, they don't hurt us anymore. At least, not as much, I think. And you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
We finished packing up the rest of our dorm room, which took a long time because we kept talking and goofing around. This would be the last night here, because tomorrow is graduation.
It is bittersweet to be graduating, since I loved school so much, but I have a degree now. I can start my career, which is exciting. Not to mention moving back to LA with Zach. Well, as soon as he agrees. We haven't talked about it, we've kind of been avoiding the subject. Neither of us wants to go against the other, but he probably thinks I want to stay here, or maybe in San Francisco. I do and I don't.
My mom, Sarah, Lor, Dan, and Zach will be in the stands watching me accept my diploma. I know tomorrow will be life changing.
Then again, my life has proven that it can be changed drastically in little time.
"Lor, I'm so happy you are here." I said while hugging my best friend. "Oh, and you brought little Lewis." I said cooing. The same year Lor graduated from college, two years into their marriage, she and Dan had a little boy.
"Yeah, he missed his Aunt Emma. Although he's not as little as you remember him, he's almost a year old now!" She laughed. I put on my stylish earrings and grabbed my cap and gown. We would have to leave in a little bit.
Lor came to help me get ready, everyone else we'll meet at the ceremony.
"Yeah I can tell." I picked him up and smiled at his cute chubby face.
"Are you going to go back to LA or stay here?" Lewis started crying so she put him on my bed to play with a pop up book.
"I don't know, well, I do know. I'm done with my four years, it would be amazing to go to medical school, it would give me more options but... I don't know. My time here in Stanford really is up. I didn't intend to stay here forever, I really didn't even intend to go to school here but... things happened. And, I don't know if it's fair to just keep stringing Zach along to whatever I want to do..."
"You're not going to break up with him are you?" She said, scaring Lewis.
"No! I just meant that I think Zach wants to go back to LA. He's done so much for me, I think it's time I do this for him. Besides, it would seem silly to stay unless I wanted to settle here. And I don't think I do. Of course, the thought of going back to the place where all our problems are neatly stored scares me but... It's the practical thing to do. And I'm an adult, I can't always do whatever I want."
"There is medical school in LA too you know. Just take the summer to relax, you have been skipping summer vacations for too long." I laughed. She's right.
"Yeah, trust me, that's the plan. To relax. Besides, I'm not even sure I want to go to medical school. I'm not sure of anything right now. "
"So it's not just about med school." That's Lor everybody. She's annoyingly smart and can see right through people.
"I guess not. I mean, things were so... nice here with Zach. Almost like a dream, honestly. No marriage, no company, no manipulative mom. Just us, school, his job. That's probably the only thing he would be sad to lose, but I'm positive he'll find something else in LA. I'm scared our relationship will be tainted like it was before." I slumped on the table.
"That's not going to happen Emma. Your relationship with Zach is so much stronger than it was before, try four years stronger. There's nothing you two haven't been through that you can't conquer again. You can't be scared all your life! I mean, look at what you've already done. You're graduating from Stanford University and you have one of the best boyfriends you could ever have. Just enjoy it." I smiled at her. She's right.
"Now come on, someone has to graduate." I laughed. We got in my car and I drove us to the school. We couldn't find my mom or Zach, and I was running late, so I just went to where I was supposed to wait. I would have to see them after.
We walked inside the auditorium to the classic sound of Pomp and Circumstance. There were so many people; I couldn't pick out my family or friends. I sat in the front row, next to Meredith.
After about an hour of speeches from several speakers, only the special awards were left before the diplomas.
A well known Literature professor was speaking for these. "And now, I'd like to introduce a new award, the R.J. Watson Award. Named after R.J. Watson herself, this award is presented to the student who has done the most with his or her time here at Stanford University. This student is well known and well liked because of her continuous and impeccable involvement in this school.
"This student is President of many clubs including the Debate club, Young Environmentalists, Tennis club, and Young Readers. She also studied abroad in Sweden and was influential in starting a charity in helping people who cannot pay their medical bills. Emma Rembrandt deserves this award for all she has done at and for Stanford University. Ms. Rembrandt, please come and accept this award, along with $1,000 to further your involvement with your community."
Wow. I didn't know there was an award for doing stuff. Shocked and excited, I stepped up, received my award, and after a picture, sat back down, holding a certificate and a check. I know this money would help me start something when I get back to LA.
Then, the diplomas were being handed out, and of course it took a while to get to the R's. When I finally held that diploma, when they finally told everyone I had majored in Biological Sciences and Non Profit Management, I felt accomplished and scared. Now what?
Find a job? Keep going to school? I'm basically done with college, my dream. I guess I need to find a new dream now.
Finally, the ceremony was over, and Meredith and I said our final goodbyes. We promised each other we would stay in touch.
I walked through the throngs of families, friends, giant balloons, trying to look for my mom and Zach. I saw a dad hug his graduate daughter and I faltered a little. It hit me that my dad can't be here hugging me, telling me how proud I am. I hope he is proud of me, where he is now.
"Emma! Over here!" I recognize that voice anywhere. The only voice that can really comfort me.
"Zach!" I went up to his arms and he squeezed me, smiling into my hair.
"I'm so proud of you Emma." He said, letting me go and kissing me on the cheek. I can't seem to stop smiling.
"Me too." I turned to my mother and hugged her too. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and even though we have a relationship rockier than than Rocky Road ice cream, I had to admit I missed her.
Then I saw Dan, Lor and Lewis who all hugged me and congratulated me too. We all went to lunch and caught up with each other. Even though I missed everyone and was so happy to be with everyone, I was waiting for the time where I could just be with Zach.
"We finally got rid of them!" He said, practically echoing my thoughts. "I mean, today was fun and all, but I just want to be with you." He kissed my cheek and sat next to me on his couch.
"You're so funny sometimes."
"Sometimes?" I slap his arm, chuckling. Then my smile fades.
"Zach, there's something we should talk about." As if he flipped a switch, his goofy smile turned into a mildly concerned expression and he rearranged his glasses. He took my hand in his.
I looked around his quaint apartment before I looked at him again. I remember when he first moved in and I was helping him unpack. I knew even though he loves me that he was skeptical about moving north. I still can't believe he did that, and that he's still with me now. He tries to make me happy everyday, which always succeeds. I want him to be happy too.
"Oh, don't be so scared. I was just wondering what you might think of the idea of.. moving back to Los Angeles." He raised his eyebrows really quick then smiled.
"Are you homesick, now?" He chuckled. I took note of a beard he started growing. It's just stubble now and I don't mind as long as it doesn't get longer. It sure does enhance his 25 year old age though. Heck, I'm getting old too. How am I already 22?
"Maybe a little. I'm more concerned about you. You dropped everything in LA to come here with me four years ago, and now that I'm pretty much done here, what is it that you want?"
He thought about it for a second, then planted a kiss on me before I could react. My eyes widened and he smiled at me. He gets a kick out of surprising me like that, as if he likes making my knees weak and my eyes widen.
"I just want to be with you. I love you, ok? But, if you must know my opinion, maybe... it would be nice to move back." He said, still smiling. I smiled back.
"Well, then it's settled. Let's go home."
Author's note:
Yes! First chapter to The Struggles of Being a Teenage Wife sequel! I'm really excited to be writing this and writing about these characters again... Let me know what you guys hope to see, what you predict will happen....
How do you guys like the cover?
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-mockingjaygirl15