inveigled
"What are you doing here?"
Those were the first words Noel said to me when I got back from my last class before break. Thanksgiving's tomorrow and in just a handful of hours I'd be heading to the airport so I could fly back home for the five-day weekend.
My dad was going to be home for once, and that coupled with my mom's diagnosis meant I was both excited and skittish about the trip.
I made a face at Noel. "What, sick of me already?"
He chuckled and put his laptop to the side on his bed. He'd been watching something that sounded French which he paused when I walked into the room. "Not at all."
I smirked. "Is there an invisible hookup you have here, then? 'Cause otherwise I'm not really seeing why I'm not allowed in our room."
I toed my shoes off, dropped my backpack to the floor next to my desk, and went to turn my Xbox on.
"Fuck off," Noel said lightly. His eyes were curious as I studied them. "Why aren't you running around a giant circle with Harley?"
I smiled over at him and raised a brow. "You mean a track?"
He waved a hand. "Technicalities."
"He's not feeling well," I said as I shook my head in amusement and grabbed a controller. I pulled out my desk chair to sit in and watched Noel watch me while I waited for the console to boot up. "What? You're staring, Noel."
He shrugged, looking a little less neutral than his default. "What's with the schedule change?"
Here we go again, I groaned internally. "Why does everyone assume that I have every second of my life planned out?"
Noel grinned, his eyes looking prettier to the point that I had to look away. "Because you practically do. Every day you have two morning classes, then lunch with Harley, then an early afternoon class, a run with Harley, and then you come back here to shower. After that you go to the library and do god knows what for eight hundred hours, then come back again and watch your little cooking shows or play video games until you fall asleep in the middle of what you're doing. The only exception to all of that being me interrupting your evening study time with exciting adventures here and there."
By the time he was finished, I was openly gaping at him.
"Dude, what the fuck?"
Noel crossed his arms, but didn't seem fazed. "Am I wrong?"
I made a disgruntled face. He wasn't, and that was the entire problem. He summed my life up so easily in thirty seconds that it made me feel pathetic.
It also made my stomach twist knowing he paid attention like that. He was always full of surprises.
"You should be a private investigator, Mr. Stalker--I mean, Sjolberg."
"Funny." Noel snorted, getting to his feet. I followed him with my eyes as he came up to me and grabbed the controller out of my hands.
"Excuse you?" I asked.
Noel's face turned expectant, his eyes looking down at me. He jerked his head towards our door. "Come on, I'll go with you."
"I'm sorry, but what?" I asked. There was absolutely no way Noel meant what I thought he was saying.
His mouth quirked into a simple smirk. "I'll go for a run with you. On that track thing you love so much."
I began laughing to the point where tears started to slip out of the corners of my eyes and Noel had to flick me on the cheek to get me to gradually stop.
"Okay, dickhead," Noel said with a frown. "You done?"
I wiped at my eyes and shook my head, smiling. "Are you serious? You want to come running with me?"
"Want to?" He tilted his head, showing that he was pondering my question. "More like willing to sacrifice my streak of non-exercise-related activities. Sex aside, obviously. That's technically exercise."
My lips twitched. Noel and his technicalities. "But why?"
"So you can stay on course with your schedule."
"Oh my God," I groaned, dropping my head down into one hand. "I don't have a set schedule. And even if I did, running with Noel wouldn't be on it."
"You do." He held up a finger towards me. "And, I'm pretty sure you can pencil in running with sexy roommate real quick. Anyway, your routine habits aren't always a bad thing."
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, pinching my brows together.
"Your exercise routine keeps you in shape, so when I describe you with your abs and everything to women, they're even more on board to fuck us both."
I blanched. First, why was he talking about my abs? And second, "That's so shallow."
"I know. And I'm fucking kidding, Nat." I didn't understand the joke, but he looked entertained enough by my reaction. He was smiling, seemingly pleased. "To your earlier question, I actually thought it would be nice to hang out, but if you don't want to..."
I stood up probably too quickly. Noel looked surprised, but didn't say anything, he just stepped back so I didn't knock him over. "You have workout clothes?"
He rolled his eyes. "I'll manage. Worry about yourself."
I bit back a grin and we opened our separate wardrobes and began to change.
It felt good that he was willing to do something so far from his normal type of activities just because we'd be hanging out while doing it.
"I really think I might die," Noel huffed.
He was bent at the waist, hands on his knees clutching tightly. I stretched my hamstrings with one leg extending in front of me as I lowered my weight into the move slightly. I hadn't really worked hard, but I still felt a familiar burn and smiled at Noel.
"You won't die, baby."
"Oh, cutesy nicknames?" Noel breathed out, then gasped for more air.
I rolled my eyes at the back of his head. His face was turned to the ground and eventually he looked up at me, revealing a red, sweaty canvas.
Somehow he still looked amazing. He picked up his water bottle he'd brought and started downing it.
"No," I answered, switching legs. "We did one mile. And it took you twenty minutes and three breaks. You don't get a nickname for that poor performance."
He scowled and lifted the hem of his shirt, showing his heaving stomach, so he could wipe the sweat off his face with it. I tried not to stare too long at his flat torso.
He dropped his shirt and deadpanned, "I hate you, but I don't hate you."
I chuckled, a strange happiness spreading through me. Bantering with him was always fun. "Same, Noel."
"You're such a shit. I'm out here doing dumb stuff that you like and you don't even do what I ask." Noel looked around at the random scattering of people running past us who weren't paying any attention. "Some friend, this guy..."
My expression became bewildered at his accusation. "What are you asking for?"
His gaze snapped back to me. "Chéri, Nat! You haven't even touched him."
I tried very hard not to laugh at him and how adorable it was that he was worked up over this. His glare helped to keep me in check. "So the book's a he now?"
"Obviously," Noel sniffed, drinking more water. I hoped he didn't make himself sick. When he stopped, he said plainly, "Chéri is he, book is he."
"Logical."
"You're not reading."
I raised a brow as I took a normal drink of water. Then I said, "How would you know?"
"If you were, you would tell me something that happens, not say how would you know."
"You're crazy," I stated, blatantly ignoring his request.
"You're proving me right."
"So, Thanksgiving tomorrow. I've got..." I took my phone out of my pocket. "Two hours before I have to head to the airport."
"You're the worst." Noel punched my arm. I finished stretching and stood straight next to him. He didn't argue with me further, though. "You ready for the flight?"
"Pretty much, yeah." I picked up our sweatshirts we'd set down against the wall. I handed Noel his and we gradually made our way out of the track's building. "I'm not bringing too much. Just clothes and my--"
"Textbooks," he teased. Then, "And Chéri, I hope."
I smiled and put my hand on Noel's shoulder, patting lightly. I felt the dampness from where sweat had seeped through the fabric and pulled back, wiping my hand on my thigh. He smirked at the action and to appease him, I mumbled, "Okay, okay. I'll bring him."
"Good boy."
I scowled while his smirk turned more devilish. Each time he says something like that, it makes me feel things I don't want to. "I retract my statement. I'll bring nothing resembling a book."
Noel chuckled, but didn't directly respond on the subject. "It'll be your first time seeing your mom since you found out, right? You gonna be okay?"
My stomach dropped at his reminder. Uncomfortably, I cleared my throat. The cold air began to sink into my heated skin and I threw my sweatshirt on. My sweat made it cling to me annoyingly. "Noel, I don't want to talk about it."
He looked straight ahead as we walked, tossing his own sweatshirt over his shoulder. He slipped his hands into his pockets casually. "It'll be okay," he said softly, sounding confident in his assumption. I was glad he wasn't looking at me. I was about to repeat my previous line when he changed topics. "My day tomorrow is going to be on some trashcan tier shit."
I looked at the side of his face. He was frowning. "You going home after all?"
Noel told me earlier in the week that he wasn't sure if he'd be going home for the holiday or not. I guess he made up his mind.
He nodded solemnly. "Yep. Gonna be hell, too. My parents have been acting like prison guards ever since they found out about Leesy."
I was quite surprised he was talking about his family with me, but I was so curious to know more. I sort of felt guilty that I wanted him to talk about something so personal when I wouldn't do the same. But if Noel was comfortable offering it up, I knew I shouldn't feel too badly.
"How did her not-a-quinceañera birthday party go, anyway?"
"I forgot I didn't tell you," Noel said, looking at me for a moment before we crossed the street. "When I got there the night I left campus, I had a long talk with Leesy and she told me she hadn't been to see a doctor yet. I told her we had to tell our parents, because she needed to get checked out and all that. So we told them, and they went mental...but they had to know, you know?"
I nodded, understanding, even if it was just in concept. "Of course."
"Anyway, my dad was yelling first while my mom was crying. Leesy had to run away to vomit--you know morning sickness is basically just constant sickness?" He made a face of annoyance. "Like the fuck is it called morning for then?"
I smiled. "Must be the patriarchy's doing."
"Probably. Fucks with everything. So, after my dad stopped yelling, my mom started. I convinced her not to cancel the party, because there was no logical way of doing that. Everybody was already on their way." Noel huffed, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe the story he was telling me. "We had to go to a last minute doctor's appointment the next day where it was confirmed Leesy is definitely having a fucking baby. My mom nearly fainted, because I was pretty sure she was holding her breath hoping it wasn't real the entire time. And then afterwards we had to go shopping for a new dress that Leesy could wear to her party and have no one be the wiser to her baby bump."
"You went to all that?"
"Hell yes. I'm telling you, Nat, if you saw my mom you would have thought for sure she'd commit murder. The only thing stopping her was me."
"I don't think she'd really..."
Noel fixed me with a pointed stare. "Nat, you don't know my mom. She's not to be fucked with. My sister's pregnancy...that's fucking with her."
"Still."
"Alright fine, don't let me be dramatic. But I swear the thought crossed her mind."
My lips twitched. "I'll allow that."
Noel nudged me with his shoulder, shaking his head. "My dad--he acts tough but is a real softie--he wouldn't talk to my sister the whole time. You were lucky if you caught them in the same room for even a second. During the party, he was busy with anything that didn't directly deal with Leesy. It was fucking awkward, dude." He let out a heavy sigh. "But we made it through the party with no one finding out, so I guess that's a plus."
We looked both ways before crossing another street. "I feel so bad for your sister. It must be hard enough for her."
"I know. It's not great that she's pregnant...but I agree. She needs support. My dad made up with her once all our relatives went home. Like I said, a softie. My mom on the other hand...she's got Leesy under lock and key."
"Wow. I guess I don't blame her too much for grounding her, though."
"Grounded? Dude, you'd think she's in juvie if you saw my house."
"Maybe it'll be better this weekend?" I suggested. "It's a holiday."
"Maybe," Noel said, but he didn't look convinced as he smoothed his hair back. "It's been almost a month. I haven't been able to talk to my sister much. She messages me when she's in computer class at school, but of course my mom took her phone. Leesy describes our house like it's a warzone. My mom's pissed my sister's having a kid and that my dad isn't as mad as she is. I used to think nothing could ever make her as angry as when I crashed her car into a neighbor's tree when I was stoned with my friends. Man, was I fucking wrong."
"How long do you think it'll take for things to blow over?"
Noel hummed, sounding thoughtful. "Probably when the baby's graduated college."
I laughed and bumped my shoulder against his. He flashed a bright grin over at me. "You're exaggerating."
He shook his head. "If you only knew, Nat."
I wasn't sure if I wanted to.
"Well, hopefully it'll be better than I'm expecting my weekend to go," I said lightly.
"Nat, you don't have--"
I shrugged. "You talked, I'll talk."
"Okay."
I took a deep breath, stuffing my hands in my sweatshirt pocket. I was feeling small wearing it despite it being my perfect size. I cleared my throat quietly. "I haven't even talked to my mom since I found out. I spoke to my dad once since then and that was two days ago when he helped me finalize the ticket info. This is all normal for my family, though."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I bit my lip, watching our feet move over the sidewalk side by side. "I don't know. It's scary. Both not knowing and the thought of figuring out what's really going on. I mean, honestly I know the bare minimum. She's doing chemo for a few months. They hope to do surgery after that. But I'm not clued in on any details. Like how bad is it, really? What are her chances? Will surgery just fix everything if she gets to that point?
"Sometimes I just pretend my dad never said anything. Maybe that's fucked up, but it makes it easier to get through things." I glance out of the corner of my eye to see Noel's attention is on my face. "I know you were just joking around before, but I guess I do have my routines. I've gotten used to them over the years."
I felt new nerves creeping up inside as I took another deep breath. Saying certain shit out loud felt uncomfortable. Maybe that was partially because the last guy I told this stuff to was my ex.
I looked at Noel again. He's the exact opposite of Jason, I reminded myself. I dropped my voice a little lower, feeling sheepish. "My life has been...lonely. And keeping to certain patterns has always felt safer."
It was quiet for a moment as we padded down the sidewalk. I saw our building looming menacingly up ahead and I slightly slowed my pace. Noel did the same and I felt marginally appreciative of it. There was something about being outside in the open space that made it easier to talk about things.
After a minute or so of only birds chirping and distant conversations being carried on the wind, Noel said, "Cancer doesn't really fit into a pattern easily, huh?"
I bit my lip. "Definitely doesn't."
"Will you go with your mom?"
"Where?" I asked, looking at Noel.
He said, "To chemo. There was a girl in my grade in high school whose mom had breast cancer. She went with her every time."
"I don't know," I said truthfully.
"She told me once it was hard to see at first...but ultimately it really helped her. I'm not saying it will or won't for you. But it's something to think about."
I nodded. I fought back the urge to ask what happened to the girl's mom. I wasn't sure knowing one outcome or the other would make me feel better.
"Yeah. I'll think about it."
Noel smiled at me and we walked the rest of our way home in a pensive silence. Both of us seemed to be deep in thought with our own worries clouding our minds.
It was a little strange to see Noel being so openly upset. When I first met him I thought for sure that there was nothing that could touch him. Now, I realized that was a stupid thing to think. He was amazing, sure...always so positive yet collected and aloof when he wanted to be. But even though he seemed on top of everything, he wasn't some magical being. He was human too.
Part of me felt a little comforted knowing that he wasn't completely perfect. Because perfect was unattainable...and I didn't like the idea of him being unattainable.