"Hayden?" Simon stands up, looking as confused as I feel. "What are you doing here?"
The guy, Hayden, who seems a similar age to Simon and I, steps forward and wraps Simon in a bro hug. "The hotel was getting old, plus I couldn't miss out on the opportunity of meeting the Isabella, in the flesh."
"The Isabella?" I repeat, ruining their moment.
Simon steps back, somehow looking like he's lost some of the tenseness from before. "Isabella this is Hayden Blake, we both deployed at the same time and we've been best friends ever since."
"I also am not to blame for you getting stuck with that ogre over there." Hayden adds with a smirk.
"Are you forgetting you were the reason we were at that bar in the first place, dickhead." Simon grins. I smile as the banter between the two continue. This is the most care-free I've seen Simon in awhile, reminding me of the boy I fell for all those years ago.
But it's not you making him smile, I remind myself.
"You guys go chill." I tell them, needing the few minutes to recollect myself. "I'll bring out some snacks."
"You never told me she was so polite." Hayden nudges Simon, as they walk out the door and I briefly hear him add. "or hot."
I laugh to myself as I make some sandwiches.
When I walk into the living room, the boys are laughing at something one of them said. Their wide bodies take up majority of the L-shaped couch, I bought when I first got here, reminding me of the torment they went through to get them.
Olivia always tried to keep Simons near death experiences a secret, but as she said, I checked anyway. I stirred all night when the update of the blast he got caught up in pinged on my phone, because yes I had notifications on. The words 'status unknown' weren't exactly comforting, but Olivia called me a few hours later, as the sun started to rise to let me know she heard from him and he was alright. A little banged up, but alright.
The last time I searched his name was more recent than I'd ever admit. Simon couldn't actually believe I didn't notice the haunted look in his eyes, his motto seemed to be alive but not living, don't let anyone too close. Me, I understand, but his family? That's what confuses me.
But there was nothing to find, the website hadn't updated his status in five weeks, and Simon claims he got back here three weeks ago, which I believe. I just don't understand, why his last mission wasn't recorded.
"Iz?" Simon snaps me out of my thoughts, and when I look up at him, he's looking at me, looking slightly concerned. "You good? You got lost there for a bit."
I nod, and muster up my best smile. I can hardly tell him that I was lost because I was worrying about him, I can't make him tell me. "Just trying to remember if I done all my final rounds before I clocked out earlier."
"You're a nurse?" Hayden asks and takes another bite of his sandwich.
I nod. "I'm in ER at the minute, but eventually I'll move up the ladder."
"Where do you want to end up?" The question comes from Simon, and it takes everything in me not to look surprised. This is the most civil we've been towards each other in two weeks, and let's face it probably the most words we've spoken to each other in years.
"I'm thinking a paediatrician, but I'll probably have to go back and train for that."
"That sounds cool, and you could probably keep nursing in the ER on the side" Hayden fills in the silence after a few seconds, probably understanding the tension in the air.
I nod. "So you said you two met while deploying?"
Hayden nods, with a proud grin on his face. "And I've been stuck with this dickhead ever since."
Simon rolls his eyes, but he's also grinning. "Fuck off, I've tried to get rid of you multiple times"
"Well that's a lie, you literally clung to me every chance you got."
"Every time being because I couldn't walk, you douche."
If either of them tensed because of the mention of their job, I didn't notice it. "So this," I motion between them. "Is what you two do?"
They both nod, and I wonder if I shouldn't have asked that question. How they act is none of my business. But Simon clears his throat. "Humour's a good escape."
I don't get to answer, not that I would've known what to say, but me stuttering would have been better than what actually happens.
"Hey Isabella, I brought your purse by acc-" Abi freezes when she walks through the living room door. Her eyes shoot from Hayden, to Simon, and then to me. "Am I seeing things? Did I have one shot too much, when you left?"
I laugh. "No Abs, you're not seeing things. Abi this is Simon, Olivias brother" I nod from Simon to Hayden. "And this is Hayden, Simons best friend."
"Hi guys," She gives them one of her cheery smiles. "I'm going to steal Isabella here, away for a few minutes. That good?"
Both boys nod while I follow Abi into the kitchen. She turns around, her arms flying dramatically as she speaks. "No, the house isn't lonely, you said, clearly not! You have to hot guys staying here and you never told me!"
I chew at my bottom lip, wondering what's the best way to go about this. I never told Abi about Simon, I wanted at least one friend who didn't know about our history. One friend who didn't think I was crazy for still even thinking about the guy.
"I've been going on pointless dates while you've had two hunks in your house?! Seriously Izzy, sharing is caring!"
Her rant continues but at least she's not pissed at me, not in the angry way. I sigh and sink into the island chair, resting my head in my hands. "It's not like that Abs." I say but my voice is quiet, almost impossible to hear over hers.
But Abi seems to get the memo. "Hey babes, what's wrong?" She sits on the chair beside me. Her fingers wrapping around my wrist to get me to look at her. "Isabella?"
"Simons not just Olivias brother." I tell her. "He's my ex boyfriend, ex hookup, boy who broke my heart when we were in college, whatever you want to call him."
"So why's he here?"
"We hadn't heard or seen each other in what would have been six years this month, but two weeks ago he called me from jail." I avoid looking into her questioning eyes. "Simon has been in the army for the past six years, that's where he met Hayden. But he called me, asking me not to tell anyone he was back, he had no place to go so obviously I let him stay here."
"That's why you've been so secretive?"
I nod. "Hayden just got here tonight, I'm as blindsided as you about him." I laugh. "This whole situation is complicated but I'm kind of hoping you won't tell anyone."
"Of course, if that's what you want." She smiles and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I can also be the bitchy best friend who shoots daggers at him because he broke your heart."
I shake my head, grinning nonetheless. "Something tells me he's been through enough, without facing wrath from you."
I briefly tell Abi about some of our relationship, the hiding it on Olivia, how she caught us in Miami, the constant over and back between us, how he ultimately broke my heart, while maybe breaking his own too. I told her about the last time we had spoken. He had text me to meet him at a local twenty-four hour café at 3am, one that we never ended up going into, instead we stayed standing beside our cars, in the middle of the empty parking lot.
"I thought I at least owed it to you, for you to hear it from me." He had said, an emotionless expression on his face and I've always wondered if it was to hide the sadness, or something, anything that showed he cared.
"What is it?" My voice had been shaky, and it wasn't all because of the cold winter night. Even after everything that had happened between us, I had hoped that he'd give us one more chance.
"I'm joining the army. Deploying Monday."
Two days notice was what he'd gave me instead.
I had blinked back the tears but I couldn't help that damn single one that slid down my cheek. We both knew we were over, we were over well before that, probably before we even began. It hadn't stopped me from letting my hand move to his cheek, and my thumb to rub over the two day unshaven stubble.
"Stay alive." I had said, before stepping back from him and slipping into my car. I couldn't look at him as I'd reversed out of my space, I couldn't let him see my tears, couldn't check to see if he had any of his own.
I glance up from my hands to Abi, reminding myself that was then. "And that was the last thing I said to him, up until two weeks ago."