Thirty-nine:
"Where your happiness lies"
➳ I've been having headaches + fever lately, so writing was rather difficult. Instead of writing, I've been learning how to make nice covers since that doesn't make my head hurt more.
Also, my bias towards Kanao is showing, send help.
[☁️]
Drip, drip, drip, fell the tears. The loud whimpers resonated through the butterfly estate's garden, where both known tsuguko were sitting on the edging strip of non-tatami-matted flooring of the household, facing the traditional garden.
In between sobs, another tear rolled. The sounds were clear, yet choked, as you tried to muffle your cries with your arms. You were hugging your knees, Kanao staring at you worriedly. You had been crying the whole day after briefly telling her that Muichiro had kissed your cheek. He made it so hard to let go of him.
"I-I should just stop seeing him a-at all... w-what do you think about me moving in here?"
Kanao shook her head, to which you sobbed again and buried your face in your arms.
"T-Then I'm gonna go live with Kanroji-san...!"
Kanao's face became saddened. Something inside of her despised seeing her one and only friend like that. There was so much that she wanted to say, yet she didn't exactly know if she should and had no idea how to phrase it. There was just a bunch of feelings mixed and stirring her stomach up, ever since she heard what Tanjiro told her.
What Tanjiro... told her.
"People are driven by their hearts so your heart can grow stronger than ever"
"I planned to flip it lots of times until it landed heads"
The remembrance of such events made her close her eyes in deep thought. That happened that very morning, so the feeling was still brand new and confusing. But one thing she knew, that which she didn't need a coin to figure out, was that she didn't want to see you be sad about it.
She stood up, stumbling with her own feet thanks to her nervousness, and jumped off the lifted wood floor to face you. You had lifted your mess of a face up, the large dark circles under your eyes showing how little you had slept the previous night.
Kanao took out her coin, and without saying anything, flipped it. She caught it, saw the result, and did it all over again.
You stared bewildered at how she kept tossing the coin in the air relentlessly, not even catching a breath.
Your mouth fell open as your heart sank, seeing her get frustrated over the goddamn coin. She had told you that she wasn't going to need the coin from now on, but why was she tossing it so intensely? What could she possibly decide on?
"K-Kanao, what are you—"
She shut her eyes, making her hands into fists and frowning, fueled by impotence.
"Y-you can't give up now...!" she managed to yell, though her voice still sounded very small.
You blinked repeatedly, questioning her actions, but also amazed that she was able to say that so strongly, from the bottom of her heart.
"You...! You can't give up!"
Kanao's hands fly to her chest, before she hesitantly reaches for your hot, wet cheeks. Her lilac eyes stare intensely at yours, and for a second, all that you were able to see was Kanao's kind yet quiet soul. She came closer to you until she was resting her forehead on yours, closing her eyes in contrast of your widened ones.
"Tokito-sama cares for you and you care for him back, so there's no reason to let him go"
She smiled, feeling her chest warm after saying exactly what her heart told her. She silently thanked Tanjiro for bringing a piece of her back to life, just as you had started the sparkle, he had set the small flame inside of her, and someday, that might even become a fire.
She felt your cheeks get hotter, and the salty liquid of tears hit her hands hung on your cheeks. Her eyes opened slowly, meeting closely with yours.
"B-but... he... I... I don't want to get hurt...." you choked on you own words, sobs escaping your throat without any warning.
"[Y/N]... Where your happiness lies is with him. And I will continue to be with you and support you until the very end, if it truly ends up being heartbreaking, or if it results mutual love. I will be here, holding your hand, so you will never be alone. S-so, tell him how you feel before throwing everything away!" she managed to say, a little bit more nervous this time. And even though she was shaking too, it felt as if she was all the reassurance you needed to move forward.
Kanao pulled away from you, smiling like she always does, though more sincerely, and pulled you towards her to help you stand up.
You nodded at her whilst she backed away a little bit. She flipped the coin into the air. Her hands, now less shaky, caught it in the midst of falling.
The result was tails again.
"I swear this coin is cursed" you said, frowning.
Kanao only tilted her head and offered you another kind smile, "It's okay" she said, "We'll flip it until it lands on heads. No matter how many tries it takes."
Your eyes were filled to the brim with tears again, but this time grateful ones. You just wanted to hug her to death.
"You're the best bestfriend in the whole world...!" you threw yourself at her, rubbing your cheek against hers lovingly "I'm gonna name my first daughter with Tokito-sama after you!"
Kanao chuckled, "It's enough to see you smile again, [Y/N]..."
One, two, three, five, six tries... You were starting to get frustrated and swear at the coin in silence, but Kanao wasn't giving up. You made yourself a mental reminder of thanking that Tanjiro guy once you had the chance to see him, even if it took every drop of bravery out of you to do so.
"Heads...!"
You blinked repeatedly, snapping out of it. Your heart skipped a beat. Kanao was in shock too.
Pause.
"OH MY GOD IT LANDED ON HEADS!!! ARE YOU SEEING IT KANAO?! AM I DREAMING?!" you yelled, pumping your fists into the air and laughing loudly about it. Kanao clapped as well, happy that you two got the result you wanted after thirty minutes of trying to get it.
"Yay~!" she cooed softly.
You intertwined your fingers with hers on both of her hands and lifted them up making her celebrate as well. Her cheeks turned red out of embarrassment, seeing as you had come back to the [Y/N] she knew and loved so much.
"I will go see Tokito-sama after my mission tonight, and I will tell him how I really feel!" you said cheerfully, to which she nodded at "I should get going now before it gets late. See you later, Kanao! Oh! And you should start thinking about what color you want the bridesmaids' dresses to be!"
Your fingers slowly left hers whilst you rolled on your sandal's heels to head outside. When she was left without the sensation of your fingers on hers, a sudden chilling air ran down her spine. A cold sweat bead slid down her forehead, leaving her speechless.
She blinked twice, going back to smiling like she always does.
Maybe it was just the wind...
[☁️]
Now for a taisho secret!
[Y/N] was the first person that officially said that they were friends. And although she says that, Kanao feels as though they are sisters. They would give their life for each other, and for Shinobu as well. [Y/N] mentioned multiple times that if she were to be born again, she would be part of their family one way or another. They are family, even though not tied by blood.