The feel of the soft fur beneath his cold fingertips was a welcome warmth that he hadn't realized he'd missed.
Harry sat in his usual chair at the long dining table just beside the kitchen, the small fawn still wrapped up in his arms as he glided his fingers over it.
Harry had been surprised to find the house empty, even more so by the genuine worry that had flooded his system. He'd been worried about Jessie and he wasn't quite sure what to think about that.
He bowed his head, chin to chest, to watch the fawn's brown eyes slowly lull and then close as it entered a realm of calm in his arms.
How odd...a creature finding solace in his embrace.
A furrow of his brow and a scrunch of his strong nose and he was instantly withdrawing from the baby in his clutches. He wasn't sure why he'd come to it's aid. His first instinct wasn't to rip it to shreds like he normally would. He was destruction after all...he was heartless.
That word had triggered something inside of Harry. He hadn't acknowledged his deformity in quite some time. Ignored it, rather, because to entertain the idea that his chest was nothing more than a literal hollowed out catacomb was almost too much for him to bear sometimes. Even for one such as he.
Yes, he'd done the one thing the Fae frowned upon.
He'd fallen in love with a human.
Stupidly, naively, he'd given his all to that mortal girl so long ago. He'd been in this withered state of being for so long he'd lost count of the years as they flew by, not slowing for him whatsoever.
Yes, he'd fallen in love and when she'd given him that rose ring, he'd put his heart into it. He had gently coaxed his beating heart from his chest and literally embedded it into that ring with the hope that their love would be the undying kind. He'd been a fool, a lovesick pup who doddled on romance and fine details.
As a boy he'd love to read the in between of a person and Cynthia was everything in between. She had blonde hair but it was the shimmering shades of gold and silver that flecked in the sunlight that caught his youthful eye. The dusting on her cheeks and lips weren't just a paltry shade of red, they had hints of peony pink and symphonies of peach.
Yes, Harry loved the fine details. He loved to observe and take in every breath, every smile, every frown, every flutter of eyelashes so that he could fall in love with the spaces in between.
And then, Cynthia had come to him in a panic.
They were meant to make the jump together, the jump into immortality and marriage. Love everlasting but she'd rushed to him that her father was ill...that he needed her to marry well...marry rich....
What were human riches to the riches of the Fae? He had rubies and emeralds and sapphires galore but that hadn't been what she'd meant.
What had she meant?
Harry felt a thump in his chest, an echo of what his heart used to do just beneath his sternum and he rubbed a large palm over the spot as it ached.
That was a story for another time...it did not do well to dwell on the past.
Suddenly, his pointed ears piqued and heard panting breaths coming from outside of the door.
Jessie.
He shifted in his seat...not out of nerves...never out of nerves.
Harry only hoped he could do this one kindness and be done with it. Gain back her favor so that he may move forward with his plan.
Oh how his decrepit soul danced in delight at the idea of crushing her into pieces. Tricking her into falling for him and then snatching that love away to drink and devour until nothing was left of her but a husk of a mortal, foolish enough to dare to dream of love.
A sickly grin twisted onto Harry's mouth and the fawn in his hold twitched at his change in demeanor.
His fingers picked back up their stroking subconsciously as the door to his abode opened to a wide eyed and frizzy haired beast.
"And just where have you been?" He asked sweetly, doing his very best not to jump down her throat when that was really what he'd wanted to do.
Anything could have happened to her, she could have been taken by any number of creatures that dwell in these lands...
Harry paused for a moment.
Why did he care?
"I was looking for you." The mortal panted but by her breaths and the color of her face, he could tell she was trying to seem calmer than she actually was.
Had she ran into something on her way back?
"Why were you looking for me?" Something that resembled guilt flashed across her pretty face but before he could question it, her strange eyes dipped down to the animal in his arms.
"Why are you just casually holding a deer in the kitchen?" A combination of genuine fear and trepidation rang through her voice and Harry bristled at that.
Did she really think he was that morbid? He guessed he hadn't been trying hard enough to prove otherwise. He took a measured look at the tender animal in his arms and then stood, easily lifting it as he strode over to where the girl waited in the doorway.
Walking up to her he felt his stomach twist and flip. He felt his mind turn in confusion. Why was he feeling these...feelings?
When he stood before her, he brought his green gaze to her face and if he had a heart he thought it might have fluttered at her loveliness. He'd never tell her that though, couldn't even really admit it to himself.
"He is a gift...for you." He watched as Jessie blinked up at him in complete shock as he handed her the babe. She cradled it to her chest and looked at it and then back up to him. Harry could see his reflection in her expressive eyes and it saddened him.
He was truly hideous.
He tucked a long curl behind his pointed ear and nodded curtly before heading up the stairs to his room leaving Jessie to probably wonder what on Earth had happened but he had to get away...far away from those pretty eyes and that hurtful tongue before she could confuse him further.
~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Harry drifted through the tall green grass to sit upon the hill that overlooked his lands. He watched the old willow trees sway in the gentle breeze and observed the tiny field mice and quail who called this meadow home.
He was lost in his mind.
The entire day he'd peeked into the mind of the fawn and watched Jessie care for it. Her gentleness towards it was something he envied and then immediately loathed himself for feeling jealous of a woodland creature.
This was unlike him. This was all far too familiar of a time when he'd been a foolish boy.
Harry felt her approach before he even heard her.
She radiated vitality, energy pulsing off of her humanity and it was something his kind always thrived on. There was something about the idea that they could crush them but then also feed off of that mortality. It was both a blessing and a curse. Something that Fae could observe but never truly understand.
Jessie settled a few feet away from him and mirrored his position, arms wrapped around her knees, face to the night sky. In the milky moonlight her face became sharp lines and made her look like one of his kind and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.
What he liked most about her was her ferociousness despite the ease in which she could perish.
He wasn't sure he liked the idea of her lasting a thousand lifetimes.
Her weakness was her strength in that way.
"You're afraid." An odd statement to make in the darkness but he didn't move his expression. He still had a game to play with her, still calculating despite his strange notions towards her.
"Of what?" He crooned and in his peripheral vision he watched her tip her chin down to her knees.
"Me..." She whispered on the breeze and he felt a mild panic inside of him.
Did she know?
"A mortal?" He asked incredulously as he looked down to her frail body, "you are of little consequence to me human. I do not fear you." Jessie's eyebrows furrowed together and he couldn't help the smirk that expression illicited from him. She was so expressive, she could never hide her emotions from him.
"I don't mean like afraid in that way...I just mean...," she boldly looked up into his eyes and there was anxiety there even through the defiant edges, "You don't like for me to touch you and you don't like to show emotions and I think that some of that has to do with fear."
She observed far too much. Harry was slightly thrown by her observations.
It wasn't true that he didn't like her touch...it was simply...
"Did I say I didn't like you to touch me?" He asked back quickly and she blinked, lovely mouth slightly parted in surprise that he'd address her questions.
"Well, no..."
"Do not let the darkness and shadows that surround me upon your touch fool you into thinking I do not like it Jessie," he sighed into the cool night air and then peered back up at the stars, too confused with his sudden bout of honesty to look her in the eyes as he said, "in the darkness there is also goodness...night is dark and terrible yes, but without it we wouldn't get to see the stars."
It was too much. He'd given too much. She could use that vile tongue of hers to spew her hatred and disgust of him now. She could use his musings against him. She could-
"May I touch you...now?" Her voice floated over like a fluffy piece of billowy cloud and it caught him off guard. What did she mean by this touching nonsense?
"Where?" He asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice but she lifted a hand to her cheek and spoke, "Here."
What on Earth had gotten into this human? What could she possibly want with a touch to his cheek?
"You wish to caress my cheek?"
"No...a kiss." A hint of dusty rose and sweet peach covered her high cheekbones and he felt warmth flood his body for the first time in centuries.
Was she playing him? Was she trying to get a reaction out of him? Was this punishment for his wicked ways?
Harry looked from Jessie and then back up to the stars as they blinked and winked down at him.
Two could play at this game.
"Well...that simply won't do." He mused and watched as she fidgeted with the sleeve of her makeshift dress. Her long hair fell down her back and he resisted the need to comb through it with his fingertips.
"Oh...I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"
"A kiss upon the lips would be preferred my simple minded human." His smile was wicked and he knew exactly the response he'd get back. One of her quick witted insults. He was surprised, however, when her plump lips fell at the corners and her eyes quickly darted towards the ground.
"Why can't you just say you want me to kiss you and that be that? Why do you have to insult me at the same time?" The barren wasteland of his chest seized at that. This had not been the intended response...had the fawn made her emotional? Had his actions today made her soft towards him? Why did his stomach shiver in delight at the thought of her pressing her lips to his?
Harry cleared his throat, his fingers raking through his long hair nervously. What excuse could he give her that would both satisfy and bait her?
"I am afraid it has been too long since I have needed to impress another soul. I do not mean to offend...it is out of habit...of pushing precious things away that I may destroy or that could destroy me." Not a lie...almost too honest of him...
"You think I could destroy you?" It was her turn to sound taken aback and astounded.
Harry looked to her with clear eyes. Her slight face was hauntingly beautiful, those mysterious and expressive eyes looking to him with such confusion and yet a hint of understanding. Those poisonous lips that usually held such disdain for him...now enticing him.
"I think you could do irreparable damage to the concave hole in my chest...yes," the words were out before he could even second guess them and by the look in her eyes, he didn't want to stop, "I also think I could break you between my fingers, like crushing chalk into powder, and I think I fear that most above all else. There is no heart left in me for you to dig your claws into...only a memory of one that you could erase if you chose to...but it is my innate desire to ruin good things that I fear most." It was all out in a rush. There was no taking them back, there was no escape as she scooted closer and her decadent scent filled his nose. A hunger filled his tortured soul and he wondered if this was the destruction he'd just spoken of or if it was something else...something long forgotten.
"Why do you want to ruins things?" She mouthed and his gaze couldn't tear away from those glistening pink lips. More honest words flowed from him as he took in the in between that made up Jessie.
"Why does the tree bend to the will of the wind? Why do our lungs need air to breathe? It is inevitable. Destruction is my air...my will." Jessie just sat there, a beautiful girl staring up at an atrocious boy. In his vulnerability he decided to answer her earlier question.
"I am afraid of the song that comes from your heart that sings gently to the space where mine should be." He whispered in the small space between them. Their bodies leaning towards one another like two vipers readying themselves to strike.
"A song?" She hesitated, those observant eyes darting all of his face, silently begging the question of what may happen next.
"Yes," Harry closed his eyes and listened to the steady beat of her heart, "even now...the rhythm is steadier and faster but the melody is just the same." Harry looked into her eyes and he found that there was fear there for the first time since the forest. For the first time since she'd seen him peering from behind that tree, she was truly afraid of what came next.
But so was he.
"Harry...?"
"Hmm?" He leaned closer, his cheeks warming as her breaths became small pants.
"Will kissing you hurt?" His chest fluttered.
"There are never any guarantees little lion," a moment...a breath...and then far too slowly, their lips connected in the space in between.