Warning: This chapter contains violence and abuse.
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
I grumpily opened the car door, which was unlocked and sank into my seat. Who the hell was he? How dare he say those things to me? If I had the energy to walk home all the way, I would.
A few minutes later, Greyson got into the car. I ignored him, his presence annoyed me to my core. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but after a moment of tense silence; he started the car and drove smoothly down the street.
How did everything spiral out of control so quickly?
Not long after, the car came to a stop in front of my apartment, I mumbled a small thank you and tried to get out of there as fast as I could. As I was getting out of the car, "Eli." He called out after me.
No, I didn't want to hear what he had to say.
"I know that you don't want to listen to anything I have to say, but I'm sorry. All that I said was uncalled for and I really didn't mean to hurt you, that's the last thing I ever want to do. I-I was hurt when you left in the morning without telling me, I know that's no excuse." He took a deep breath, "My point is, I'm extremely sorry for what I said."
I looked at him for the first time since he got into the car; his eyes shone with sincerity, and it seemed like he actually regretted it. I nodded and got out of the car without another word. I might seem calm on the surface, but on the inside there was a storm raging. Glad to know I'm not the only one that's affected.
Once I reached my apartment complex, I heard the sound of the car starting up and driving away. My traitorous little heart skipped a beat at the small gesture.
I walked up to my apartment. Sighing, I removed the magazines that was haphazardly hanging on the letter plate of the door. As I walked in, a feeling of security and exhaustion washed over me. Chucking the magazines on the coffee table, I plopped down on my couch.
My gaze fell on a familiar yet not-so-familiar face, my brother. Christian White.
His face was plastered on the cover of the magazine; the flashy headline displayed that he was one of the most successful business men dominating the market at the moment in the production and sale of aeronautical equipment with his company Halcyon.
I still admired him for his perseverance and tenacity. When we were little, he always dreamed of building his own company, with his own blood, sweat and tears. He also mockingly promised me that once he achieved it, he would make me his assistant. He was a superhero in my naive eyes; I was more than happy to just be beside him.
Shaking away those thoughts, I got up and went to my bathroom, hoping for a quick shower. I stripped out of the yesterday's clothes and got in. Relishing in the feel of the water on my body, I stood under the shower for a few extra minutes, letting everything flow out with the water and down the drain.
Dressing into one of Jacob's old shirts, which he gladly let me have, and my comfy shorts. I fell onto the bed, letting the fatigue take over.
____________________
It was so dark. It was always so dark.
I was still stuck in the dark room, the one which I gradually grew accustomed to. My body ached and my head was throbbing.
The door swung open with a bang and the small bulb that hung overhead was switched on. The small bulb emitted a small amount of light, but the corners were still shrouded with darkness that wouldn't hide me from what was about the come.
The dark glint in his eyes made me wonder why he was keeping me alive for so long. He knew I was on the verge of giving up, maybe then he would have his real fun with me. I couldn't take it anymore. My body nor my mind could handle it.
The malicious smirk on his face made me cower back. This was going to be so much worse than I imagined.
"Little Alex, I brought over my friend from the other day. Do you remember him?" The sweet malice in his voice sent shivers down my spine. When he got no answer, he latched onto my hair and pulled me up to look him in the eye.
He held my jaw tightly, "I asked you a question, didn't I?"
"Yes." I mumbled weakly.
My head was going numb with how hard he gripped my hair. I could see the other one in the corner; the darkness hid him, but his eyes always stood out; they were emotionless and were beyond evil. He watched everything unfold from the corner, never showing his face. When he first came over, I thought that maybe he would help me, but I was foolish to even let that thought cross my mind.
He let go of my hair and stepped back, I thought that perhaps that he was going to go and that was it, I should have known better. He had brought a friend and was going to put on a show for him.
My heart skyrocketed with fear when I saw him pull out a knife from his back pocket; he never used a knife before.
I tried to fight back, but it was hopeless. I was too small and weak. He easily overpowered me, shoved me down onto the bed and held me there.
I thrashed and fought as hard as I could, but nothing seemed to work. He pulled up my frayed shirt and exposed my stomach. Letting the cold blade of the knife rest against my abdomen, he picked it up and applied pressure, my skin tore open. My screams were muffled by his hand.
He knew not to cut too deep, but enough for to scar my skin; a remembrance of him. I could feel blood dripping down my side, staining the mattress and the ground. I attempted to push him off, but that resulted in the blade digging deeper into my skin.
Black dots spotted my vision and my entire world was going around in circles. I felt the weight on my body disappear right before I passed out.
____________________
I got up with a jerk. Tears were streaming down my face; and my heart was racing. I was soaked with sweat, and my body trembled with fear. That was way too real to be a nightmare; I felt so dirty.
I clenched my fists to stop the shaking and greedily took in deep breaths. It took several minutes to feel slightly better, but the terror still lingered.
It was almost one in the morning; I had slept for so long. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, not after that. I wrapped myself up with my blanket and grabbed the phone that lay on the bedside table.
Dialling the number that was stored, I hoped he was awake.
"Lizzzy! What's my favorite girl doing calling me so late?" His cheerful voice rang out from the phone which made me smile. "Why aren't you asleep?"
"I could ask you the same." I shot back.
He chuckled, "Caleb ditched movie night and you're not here, so I'm watching some stupid horror movie, alone. Now, you?"
"Eh, I wasn't getting any sleep, so I figured I would call you since I knew your lonely ass would be awake."
"Oi, don't shit on my dating life when yours is non-existent." He retorted.
Lying seemed easier at the moment because if I told him the truth he would worry and I definitely did not want him to worry about me, it was a waste of time.
"Liz, you there?" He called out.
"Um...yeah. I'm here."
He remained silent for a few minutes; I had to pull away to the phone from my ear to check if he was still on the call, "Hmm, now tell me the real reason."
Damn it, he knew me too well.
"That is the real reason." I countered weakly.
"Lizzy, did you get another nightmare?" His voice was a soft whisper. I let out a sigh; I didn't want to lie and he wouldn't believe me if I said otherwise. The sigh was enough to confirm his suspicion.
"Shit Elizabeth, are you okay? Why didn't you tell me immediately?"
"Because you would freak if I told yo-"
"Damn right, I would. Tomorrow. Morning. We are going to come over. I thought they stopped, I thought the therapy would help. Are you fine? I'm so stupid, of course, you're not fine. Do you need me to come over now? I can wake up Cal-"
"Jacob." I cut off his rant. "I'm fine. It was just another nightmare, nothing I can't handle. When you come over tomorrow, you'll see just how fine I am."
"Liz, are you absolutely sure you're fine? If you aren't then I can come over right now. Did you get another panic attack? Oh my goodness, I totally forgot about the panic attacks-"
"Jacob, I'm fine." I said firmly. "And no, I didn't have a panic attack." I heard a sigh of relief from him. "See this is why I didn't want to tell you."
"I know. But you made so much of progress, I thought it would stop."
"Me too." I said softly.
The twins had been witnesses to both; my nightmares and panic attacks. When we were roommates for a short period of time, I would wake up screaming and crying because of the nightmares. As helpless as they felt, they helped me get through it. I could see the worry and pity in their eyes the next day; I hated it.
They suggested therapy, but I immediately shut it down. As each day passed, I could see their worries increasing along with their tendency to treat me like I was fragile, so I caved in and went to visit a therapist.
I was recommended to a psychiatrist for better help who prescribed pills for my panic attacks and helped me with my nightmares because I wasn't able to talk about what happened in the past. The nightmares and the attacks gradually subsided with the help of the sessions and pills. Once they temporarily stopped, I decided to stop going for the sessions.
A loud yawn pulled me out of my thoughts, "Jay, go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
"No. We can talk until you fall asleep."
I shook my head at his persistence, "Jacob."
"Ugh, fine." He said childishly.
"Can you please keep this between the two of us? I'll tell Caleb later."
"Cool. Goodnight, Lizzy. Call me if you something happens, okay?"
"Yeah, goodnight." As the call ended, I threw the phone to the other side of the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
Loud bangs shook the apartment and I jumped up from my bed with a start.
When did I fall asleep? I checked the clock on table; it was 2:30 am. Who the hell could it be?