{ Twelve Years Earlier }
"Close your eyes, you must"
Master Yoda's low and wise voice filled the small meditation space which Master and Apprentice occupied together in the Jedi Temple. No one dared interrupt the lesson, especially one taught by the elder Master, even while the door remained unlocked and easily accessed by anyone wandering by, so sure was her Master of the respect he deserved, that he had earned, that he would not lock it even while Lyra had questioned him about it upon their arrival. It would be the last time she ever did bring it up, knowing full well the answer would never change even if a youngling or a lost padawan did enter the space by accident. The Jedi had no secrets, no ulterior motives beyond the will of the Force and the peace of the galaxy, so why should they hide any of what they teach.
"My apprentice, be in the here and now you should be. And not distracted by your thoughts, hmm" He hummed, the words ringing her back into startling reality that made her sit up straighter upon her circular cushion and shake her head free of her wondering mind.
She had a task to complete here, there would be time for thinking about other things later. She chided herself and took a deep and calming breath to centre herself in her mind, focusing only on the room, the moment, and her Master's calming Force presence circling her as he observed with his usual keen gaze.
"Good good, yes, let the Force run through you" Again, he hummed the words gently to her from somewhere over her shoulder. She couldn't be sure if he caught the way her hands twitched and balled into fists with concentration, but knew regardless of where his eyes lingered he was paying complete attention to her progress.
"Now, these emotions you feel from others, analyse them you must. What you feel, tell me"
Easier said than done, last time the young padawan had let the feelings of others into her head it had caused her a panic attack and a long while left meditating on her own to balance herself again. It wasn't even that those emotions had been in anyway aggressive or even negative, but to be battered by a whole flood from within the temple itself without having time to shift through them? It had thrown off her unprepared mind and flung it into the depths of space where she could no longer distinguish herself from the thoughts and feelings of others around her.
It was the whole reason these lessons had started taking place in the first instance, she needed to learn how to control it.
Starting off small, she reached just barely beyond the boundaries of the room and into the hallway outside. A Master from the way his force signature remained strong and controlled walked beside his padawan learner. A green and blue hue in their signatures threaded together in a bond of Master and apprentice similar to the one she held with Master Yoda. She couldn't tell what they were discussing, couldn't make out the details. But when she delved in gently against them she sensed unease, confusion, a hint of wariness.
"A padawan and their Master" She began explaining to Yoda under her breath, figuring she should probably speak and convey on what she was picking up on.
"They seem to be in a debate or discussion of some kind".
"Hmm" Her Master acknowledged her words "From this discussion, what can you feel?"
Her fingertips twitched, knowing she would have to dig beyond cluing together the hints and actually feel whatever they were in order to answer that question for certain. It meant reaching beyond, giving up her own identity in favour of distinguishing another's, a sensation she didn't think she could ever quite get used to.
So she pushed deeper, into the signatures to weave amongst them to the centre. The instant barrage of emotions making her lean back in her seat "Worry, conflict" Lyra breathed, sweat forming on her brow and hands clenching harder. Whatever the padawan was feeling, she felt it for them and frowned to herself. They were passionate whoever they were.
"One believes to be right and the other holds empathy and understanding over it all" She mumbled biting the inside of her cheek.
"An interesting debate it must be then, yes yes" Yoda chuckled as he circled around her once more, the dim thumping of his wooden walking stick clicking on the floors like the ticking of a small pocket watch.
Another figure joined the hallway, one accompanied by a long line of young signatures untamed and so wild they could only be younglings.
Lyra held her breath knowing the emotions they were about to present to her would be raw.
"A class of younglings" She resisted turning to them, sticking amongst the trained individuals she was currently focusing on as if hiding within their emotions might shield her from the barrage of others.
"Focus on one you must, too much at once and-"
"I'll be overwhelmed again" She finished with a sigh, eyes remaining firmly shut as she took focus on the lightest signature among them. A bright green signature walked out front, and even while she raced towards it warily and tried to remain on track it was hard not to feel the wisps of turmoil and excitement which radiated from the others at the edge of her being.
"Confidence, leadership" She began examining them with intense focus "Older than the others, but not by a lot. They feel..." She tried to find the words for it. It wasn't fear, closer to worry. But not at anything specific, not as the result of danger.
"Hmm?" Yoda urged her gently.
"Responsible, it weighs on their shoulders" She felt the tension on her own as a result, like a physical pile of rocks had just been stacked upon her with no indication where or when they had formed.
Something tweaked at her forehead, a pressure which she wasn't sure if it were her own or the result of this practice. Turning away from the figure she had latched onto, she could see, feel, the force signature of all the other younglings flaring out around her. They were almost blinding, she had to twitch and back away not to be taken in.
It didn't stop them from lashing out however, as soon as the emotion of the first hit her, the rest followed in a crescendo of raw feeling.
"The others-" She choked up "elation, excitement, fear, worry, calm-" Lyra listed them like the inventory of the archives, each one making her breath tighter and her brain thud louder in her skull "Defiance, question"
"Let go of them you must, my padawan. They will do nothing but consume you, if you let them" Master Yoda's voice grew firmer as the emotions welled from within her, he could feel the turmoil her centre was spinning into.
"Regret, fear, they're so raw" Even if she had wanted to, the grip wouldn't allow itself to be torn away. If she were in anyway back within herself she might've even picked up on the way tears were rolling down her cheeks, and how the doors to the room had slid open while the cushions and windows shook around her with the force of her conflict.
"Young one" Yoda neared her cautiously in his haste, his hand finding her knee but doing nothing to bring her back to her sense.
All she could do was feel, it made her jaw tight and teeth grate together painfully as she tried to detangle herself from the onslaught, trying to find the thread of emotion that ended at the younglings and started with herself. If she pulled away to harshly it might hurt. What if she never felt again, what if others could take her emotions if she left them out of herself and amongst their own?!
Panic welled in her throat and her hands shook along with the room.
"Come back you must, let go" Her Master's voice was fleeting in her ear, like the dull morning shriek of distant ship horns in the morning no matter how much she tried to listen for him.
"Lyra?"
Another voice, she couldn't be quite sure though. Maybe that was just how Master Yoda sounded when he grew worried? Whatever the case may be, she tore at her arms, tried to tare the feelings from her skin as she threw her force signature around herself to build up a defence.
"Lyra!" This time her shoulders shook physically, someone was trying to shake her awake and the rough action along with a pull on the Force snapped her eyes open and tore her free from the grip of others.
The wide blue eyes of Kenobi stared down at her, the clattering of cushions and low tables ringing out as they fell to the floor from their hovering positions around the room.
Had she caused this?
"Are you alright?" The question made her blink up at him in bewilderment, catching onto the sight of Qui-Gon and Master Yoda at his rear as they watched with furrowed brows and concern.
"Obi-Wan?" Feeling his hands leave her shoulders she heaved a sigh and placed a hand on her aching forehead. Her whole body ached in fact, like she'd just ran around the temple for hours on end and exhausted every muscle in her body.
"We sensed the commotion from outside" He nodded and let out a sigh of relief himself, peering around the room and back to his Master with a look she could not catch in her disheveled state.
"We apologise for the interruption" Master Jinn bowed to them both in turn, his arms crossed and hands disappearing into his robes.
"Perhaps good, your interruption has been on this occasion" Yoda seemed less affected by their presence than he was when he turned to look at her, stepping closer once more as if to examine his padawan for any wounds. She knew he wasn't looking for physical ones.
"How do you feel, my padawan?"
"I-" Lyra's mouth opened as if to answer the question with an obvious answer, but when she stopped to actually gather the thought which should come with an honest emotion in response.
She felt nothing.
"Numb?" She breathed looking down at her hands in bewilderment, she should be worried about that fact she was sure. But even if logic remained, she couldn't bring herself to gather an emotional reaction towards the state and lifted her gaze back to her Master with a cocked brow.
"Numb" she repeated, and the small Master nodded to himself in thought.
Why wasn't she panicking, or stressed, or even happy that she was within herself again? Nothing was adding up, her brain screamed for answers the rest of her body could not provide. Lyra felt as if she had awoken from a coma, and the precious seconds upon waking when nothing in the world lingered on her mind, where nothing mattered and thoughts and feeling were still waking up.
She could see the look of concern on Obi-Wan's face as he toyed with his padawan braid and turned to his Master, but still couldn't feel a reaction to that matter either.
"Come back to you, feeling will" Master Yoda concluded "Rest, your mind must for now". He seemed to know what he was talking about, she would hold onto that and trust with a nod of her head.
"Train with your saber for the rest of our day, you will" he said, and saw the way Obi-Wan's mouth opened and shut as if he were about to say something to object in the matter before he turned his eyes away and followed his Master towards and out the doorway instead.
"A good sense you have, with those who are trained within the Force" Yoda stated his observations casually while she listened "But with those untrained, raw, those dangers still possess to you, my padawan learner" he hummed pointing his walking stick in her direction while she stood and dusted herself down.
"Dismissed you are for today, more training we will do together tomorrow, young Din-So" Were his final words before Lyra bowed and departed towards the training rooms.
Her feeling would return the following morning after much meditation, but the memory of it haunted her for a long time after regardless.