'You've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done'
Not arriving on track till the Sunday was strange. Usually, I turned up on Friday, calming and helping Lewis before his practices. This weekend had been different, my youngest sister had gone into labour on Thursday but it had dragged through to Saturday morning meaning I was late to the track.
When I arrived, I found myself running in my stupid heels towards the cars which were on the grid, all the engineers around and doing the last minute checks whilst the drivers did their PR bits. I slowed myself to a walk as I approached Lewis' car which was right at the front of the grid. Smoothing my hair as I walked, I breathed through the stitch I had from the run before I got to the car.
Putting my right hand on Toto's shoulder, he turned to me and smiled widely. "Ahh, Bea, Lewis said you wouldn't be joining us this weekend," his accent was so prominent as he spoke.
Shielding my eyes as I looked up at him, I nodded. "My sister gave birth yesterday morning, I was her birthing partner so I had to be there. I thought since the baby is here, I would surprise Lewis."
Toto laughed, "He will definitely be surprised." He nodded in the direction behind me.
Turning around, I saw Lewis giving an interview to Sky Sports with Angela by his side. Stepping towards him, he turned to look at me. "What you doing here, Bambi?" He winked at me before he took my right hand and pulled me closer to him.
"I thought I would surprise you," I said with a smile. "Meg's had her baby now, she doesn't need me there anymore."
Lewis kissed me on the lips, a cute simple kiss before Martin spoke up, "Nice to see you here, Bea."
"Nice to see you too," I told him as I looked at him ignoring the camera that was pointed on myself and Lewis.
"Alright guys," Lewis smiled at Martin, "I'm going to get ready for this race." He nodded before he pulled on my hand, moving me away from the camera and towards the side of the race track away from everyone else. When we were alone, he dropped my hand as he sighed, "Why are you here, Bea? You've just turned up like nothing happened. You've been with your sister for nearly a week, you've not messaged me once."
I was confused by his words, "What are you talking about? I've messaged you every day, Lewis. You are the one who hasn't replied."
Lewis shook his head, "I don't know why you are here today." His voice was a hiss as he spoke to me.
His tone and attitude was shocking to me, we'd argued before but this was different. I had no idea why we were even arguing. It was like he wanted a fight.
"I'm here because I'm your wife," I reminded him in a slow voice. I didn't mean to sound like I was mocking, I just didn't understand what was happening.
"You're my wife?" He questioned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You can't even be bothered to send me a text to let me know you are okay." As I opened my mouth to speak, he cut me off with his hand that he put up between us as he looked away from me. He looked back to me, "I have to race now."
I grabbed hold of his hand, my grip tight as I looked at him. "Lewis," I stared up at him. "You're just going to go out there after saying all this to me?"
He pulled his hand from mine, "Exactly."
Lewis turned and walked away from me, I watched as Angela handed him his balaclava and everything else he needed. She spoke to him, her hands moving as she calmed him. I knew it was her job to keep him calm and limit his distractions but it made me intensely jealous, watching as he reacted so differently to her.
As she moved her arms, I noticed the matching tattoo she and Lewis shared which only made me more wound up. I took a deep breath before I turned away and headed off the track.
Even after two years, I knew he still didn't trust me properly.
As I walked away from the track, I stumbled falling down onto my knees scraping the bare skin against the asphalt. "Oh my God," I heard someone say before coming to my side putting their hand on my arm. "Are you okay?"
I nodded as I got back up with help from the person. I looked up seeing it was Sebastian, I smiled as let go of his arm before I brushed my knees off. "Thanks," I mumbled as I sighed. "You didn't need to help me," I told him as I held my bag tightly.
Sebastian put an arm around me and rubbed my arm, "Anything for you, Bea. Now get off the track, I'm sure I'll see you later."
Nodding at him, I smiled before I walked away.
I left the track and the garage area walking into the main public area. I walked around before standing close to a chain fence, watching the big screen.
Lewis was quick off the start line as he took the lead. Max was quick to follow him.
My heart was beating fast, no matter how many times I watched him race I felt nervous everything.
Valtteri was fast behind. Lewis took the first corner, Max and Valtteri fighting it out for second behind him. Alexander was behind them and as they fought for the place, Alex took both of them before Valtteri hit the back of his car. Alex's car spun quickly and far nudging the back of Lewis' car.
My hand flew to my mouth as I watched, I knew he was fine it was just a nudge but it didn't change how I felt.
Max's car quickly took advantage, but Lewis' car was still. Max's car flew into the back of Lewis'.
All I could do was watch as his car spun around madly before it smashed into the nearby barrier. I gripped the chain link in front of me as I watched the big screen. I felt my sides twisting as the screen panned to Lewis' car and the radio played over the screen.
"Lewis, are you ok?" Bono's voice asked calmly.
My eyes were wide as I felt the panic. "Lewis," I whispered as I watched hoping for a reply soon.
"I'm sorry guys," came the reply from Lewis. "Can I get some help over here?"
The screen cut away from Lewis' car leaving me confused as to what was happening now.
Moving through the crowd, I muscled my way back to the gate which would let me into the VIP area. At the gate, the man let me in before I headed to the Mercedes garage.
"Bea!" Toto called me over as soon as he saw me. "He's asking for you."
I took the headset from him, "Lewis, I'm here."
The reply was slow, "Bambi," he finally spoke making me smile knowing I could hear his voice. "I'm so sorry about earlier."
"Don't worry about it," I said as I forgot everything. I just wanted him to be okay. Nothing else mattered, I knew he was just stressed earlier when he was speaking to me. All that mattered was now. "Promise me, you are okay."
"I'm okay," he said but this time his voice was closer than the radio.
Turning my head, I saw him at the garage door way being propped up by a marshall. Dropping the headphones, I ran to him, taking him from the Marshall and wrapping my arms around him. "Never do that to me again," I said before kissing him on the cheek.